A retrograde storm: Mars, Saturn and Pluto

Photo by Alex Andrews on Pexels.com

Many of you may already know that between now and 2023 Pluto will have returned to the place at the signing of “The Declaration of Independence” in 1776. Pluto represents destruction to create something new, just as the Hindu the Goddess Kali is the great destroyer and creator especially evident in the long cycles of the Yuga calendar similar in scope as the Mayan Long Count Sacred Calendar. All this means is the choice point for American democracy: to renew democracy by turning it back into the hands of all the people or bring down democracy into a fascist rule.

Mars in late degree Aries goes retrograde 09/09/20. Mars -yang or male energy is prominent and more intense in retrograde as well as supercharged in Aries. Come 09/23 through 09/30 Mars in Aries – Yang/Aggressive energies with be in a conflict that seeks confrontation to be resolved (a square) with Institutional Authority Saturn retrograde in Capricorn in MAXIMUM INTENSITY. So we can expect more protests, more governmental oppression of protests during this time period. 

Also Pluto in Capricorn (as it was in 1776) is in retrograde – forces destroying democratic governing to create something new will be at 22 degrees for the entire month of September. This means it will be a life and death struggle for law and order with authoritarian force over protests that mean freedom from oppression. These will be the fires of the Phoenix to destroy patriarch, predatory capitalism and create anew – re-creating democracy as the Founding Fathers’ originally envisioned where every woman, man, child, gender and oppressed person can strive for equity in a true American Democracy.

The Power of the Word: an email a day – to defeat Trump.

The Word

2nd letter of 60 to defeat trump

If your from California you can send an email to Joe Biden in c/o Kamala Harris as I have done. (4 emails per day for 60 days)

Dear Rep,

Is the word “fascist” too strong for you? How’s this as a newsmaker: “President Trump in his demagoguery has been flirting with fascism. This is tyranny. Maybe fascism is too strong a word? Maybe as Americans you can be the judge? After all Democracy – is about ALL THE PEOPLE let’s work to save it by defeating this demagogue Trump.”  Something like that – an icebreaker to allow stronger rhetoric in speeches that build on one like this.

If anything, that we’ve learned from Republican strategy is the obfuscation of the facts, the lies, the denial of science and all the other parts of his alternative reality that can be created through repetition.

Using key words in every speech such as fascism, tyranny, demagogue, liar, or longer phrases such as: “ruler of Americans that voted for him and discarding the rest – This is NOT the American Way – this is building towards and orchestrating a coup and the use of the Legislative branch as puppets.”  And “Trump wants to be President for Life – and as a joke for a man who has no sense of humor – we must take this as a grave threat against democracy and all of Americans, you, me, immigrants, people of color, Muslims, Christians, the LGBT communities, peaceful demonstrators.”

Words of strength must be used as a pointed and relentless attack against this wannabe dictator trump.

You could help shape the national campaign by firing the first shot – metaphorically speaking. Though as a pacifist I feel abhorred in use war metaphors at all.

Thanks, Your Name

Feel free to copy, paste and modify as need be.

Kamala D. Harris Senator – California and VP Candidate: https://www.harris.senate.gov/contact/email

Dianne Feinstein, Senator – California: https://www.feinstein.senate.gov/public/index.cfm/e-mail-me#form_771F98E4-236A-4CAB-B9C2-5A4E7E993948

All US Senators and US Congressional Reps: https://www.congress.gov/members?searchResultViewType=expanded&KWICView=false

Open Letter to US Democrats in the House and Senate

Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

As my United States Senator or Congressperson why aren’t you:

Q: Demanding his (Failed President #45) resignation loudly for the media to broadcast daily?


Q: Calling him a fascist in your daily news conferences?


I think you are cowards. You won’t be counted publicly as patriots, as defenders of the constitution and are hiding out. Ever since President Clinton’s second term – the beginning of the betrayal of all the American People for Corporate Sponsorship and the movement of the Democrats to the Right.

I think you are thinking of yourselves in the narrow world of your corporate sponsors, rather than fighting for the common good aka ALL the citizens of our nation. As my representative I demand that you make a ruckus about this fool some people mistakenly identify as the 45th President of the United States. Call him out daily in a group since you’re too afraid to do this individually.

Act instead of hiding. Be counted as a patriot instead of trembling in the impropriety and quivering silence of a liberal, moderate or even a conservative representative of all the people.

Of course, I am afraid for democracy, saddened by your daily in-actions. Are the only peaceful warriors protesting in the streets or members of the fringe press? Why do liberals aka Democrats lose elections so often? Worry about being too loud and being noticed by mainstream media?


His in-actions and incompetent mismanagement of the COVID 19 crisis has made me feel to be a prisoner in a lawless nation condemned to death. Just because there is no “hard” evidence readily available for impeachment doesn’t mean that you as my Representative can remain silent.

I have not heard from you except by form letters that mean nothing. Is civil war coming? I hope not. I am nearly 70 years old and my body can’t even take standing up in a peaceful protest for longer than 30 minutes.

So instead I fight with my words as so aptly and succinctly put by the Author Ishmael Reed: “Writin’ is fightin’.”


Please modify as you see fit. I am working on an open letter to Republican representatives to call out the corrupt traitor and be remembered as the coalition that save democracy.

Send this as a daily email to your reps.

my body awakens / Earth Awakens (to me / in me)

abstract art background blue
Photo by Dana Tentis on Pexels.com

a journey of reclamation

 “You don’t know what you’ve got ‘til it’s gone”

Joni Mitchell, Big Yellow Taxi


And similarly, since I left my body at 4 years and at age 68 my physical presence returned or re-emerged…

As a result of both a grief process, now in the 10th month, and daily inner work I have reclaimed the center of my physical body: thighs, hips, groin, and regions of my abdomen.

It’s difficult to describe this feeling of a new presence within my being. It has power, but not the kind of power we ordinarily associate with the word. There is the Power-Over, a power that is part of an ingrained dominance of the so-called “strong” over “weak” (or vulnerable).

And there is the power of being; the power of presence. This kind of power says: “I am” or “I am here.” I have been without this power for 65 years. There are marked differences before when my physical presence was missing and now. Before it was so easy to disappear and live solely in the mind with fleeting trips to the heart that were exhibited with a tear-soaked cheek.

In my early 20s my girlfriend told me I took portages to movie theaters where I cried in the dark with strangers during many sad parts of movies and especially the gut-wrenching scenes of Ingmar Bergman films. People who thought they knew me would say I was “so sensitive” but I felt nothing. I lived in my head where I felt safe.


“I built walls, a fortress deep and mighty, that none may penetrate, I have no need of friendship, friendship causes pain…”. 

Paul Simon, I Am a Rock


In the 70s I knew I wanted to live from my heart. Through a circuitous from the 70s to the ‘90s I found my way to uncover the broken parts of me and begin to heal. Thus, I entered the world of emotion: empathy, compassion, love and a myriad of many more feelings.

Fifteen years later I began to feel other peoples’ moods and my own feelings too. [I have a screening system if I get overloaded by others’ emotions that I sometimes employ.] Being at home in my heart I wouldn’t say I’m comfortable but life has become more exciting. Nevertheless, I can identify attachments more easily and work at letting them go – sometimes; when I think about it.

Physical Presence

A few days ago, I came into my body feel a presence there. Wow. I have finally returned to Earth. I am home. I feel exited and thrilled in heart body and mind. Wow.






The Miraculous

After a feeling a presence returned to me I had a vision during a hypnogogic state:


I was in the woods approaching a copse of Redwood Trees by foot.

I looked down at my feet and saw pulses of light inside my body.

The light began filling by physical body while retaining the shape of a human.

As I looked back at the Redwoods, they too were beings of light.

And shapes, much like the size of bite-sized shredded wheat only made from

White light floated in the sunlight. As I walked towards the trees their

Light reached out towards me as my light reached out towards them.

We merged in a joined light.

I asked them about climate change. They conveyed – it’s about balance.


Yesterday (8/15/20) the thermometer under the overhang read (out front): 111 degrees Fahrenheit. I thought about rain on and off all day. I thought of how it felt in the mud on my bare feet. Late in the day I had a brief vision:


I was rain falling from the sky.


When I woke and opened the front door I saw a light rain falling from the sky. It’s rare in Northern California for rain in August, but there it was. I walked in some mud and thanked the rain. I inhaled the aroma of the wet ground.

A relief.

I thanked the rain and earth too.

I stood with my favorite (friend) front yard plant – a bulb with single orange flowers and saw that had been migration around the house where the blackberry bushes once were. I began to feel the presences of all the bushes and trees in the yard and the flow of energy as I began to connect to them and them to me.


Humans are supposed to be the conscious expression of Planet Earth

Matias de Stefano

Mail-In Voting – The Obvious Work Around

statue of liberty
Photo by Christian Domingues on Pexels.com

The Great Cheat

The United States Postal Service is dying by the hand of Trump in a blatant cheat against the American People and free elections.

As much as I loathe using the USPS’s expensive competitors what is the alternative in defeating Trump as the destroyer of democracy?

There is no hard evidence that the many years of Absentee Voting is fraudulent. Mail-In Voting is the essentially the same as Absentee.

The Obvious Solution though not my ideal

I first thought of this as something I would do myself, mainly one large box with mail-in ballots in the county where I reside shipped to the Registrar of Voters via UPS or FedEx with contributions if I could not cover the expense by myself. What if there were 100 sponsors of this method or 1,000 or 10,000 sponsors of mass voting by FedEx, UPS, or DHL. What if Bezos’s Amazon Trucks were offered as free delivery for Mail-In-votes?

I ask the generosity of these billionaires to ship mail-in votes on behalf of all Americans and in service to the USPS via UPS, FedEx and DHL as a free give-back to all current and potential customers that buy their products and use their services. Billionaires such as:

Jeff Bezos,

Warren Buffett,

Bill Gates,

Reid Hoffman.

Tim Cook,

Michael Bloomberg,

Tom Steyer,

S. Donald Sussman,

James and Marilyn Simons,

Andrew Yang…

Other Influencers –

Stacy Abrams,

Bernie Sanders,

Biden and Harris,

Elizabeth Warren…

By denying all of us and the especially the middle class, people of color, and the poor the right to vote via the mail in this pandemic we are hurting the bottom line.

When people are forced to be out of work and out of our homes the essential driving force in our economy – namely consumer spending is being crushed. It’s not rocket science.

The entire economy is failing because consumer spending is down and going away.

Let mail-in voting flourish safely.

Have a box and a little extra for the common good.

Let us turn to our neighbors and help save America and the USPS from tyranny.




Successes in the grief process

boat rowing ahead of swimming people during competition
Photo by sergio souza on Pexels.com


Grief permeates the fabric of our lives of the countless ways where suffering has been allowed to fester when it could have been prevented.  Thus, is the way of the world.

The following is a personal journey through the somatic underpinnings of grief:


My Grief Process began in November 2019

 A preface

I was in a cycle of grief without knowing it. I know I have been immersed in a grief cycle for 65 years. This has been as a result of childhood ritual sexual abuse that began at age 4 and ended at 11. I was on a homeopathic formula at age 39 for skin problems when I had a flashback of incest at 4 years old. Previous to the flashback I had no idea that I had experienced childhood sexual trauma. In my teen years I was so immersed in grief, depression, rage cycles that I assumed that happiness was only an occasional happenstance.

In my 20s and 30s I explored many avenues and began to pursue happiness and truth under the guise of anger and then again grief. It’s easy to look at past memories through hindsight and see anger and its low-lying cousin, grief within so many experiences and relationships.

In the late 80s and throughout the 90s – into the millennium I had two therapists – the latter was the best therapist. With the help of Susan T., my therapist, I mapped and processed the abuse through waves of emotion until I reached a plateau.

The Current Grief Process – Updates

In late October of last year (2019) a friend and colleague suggested a homeopathic formula for grief. It was what I had been waiting for – knowing that I had been stuck but did not know how to unstick myself.

This new way of working with grief goes deep. I have been finding that the work involves releasing grief as it is attached to the cellular memories of my physical body. While at times its deeply emotional and I am not as attached to the grief somatic or emotional grief as I once was identified.

  • Is it difficult work?
  • Yes
  • Are there emotions of deep grief I’d like to deny?
  • Yes
  • Is working through these emotions / somatizations* painful?
  • Yes
  • Am I consumed by these emotions?
  • No, at least not to the degree I had been 20 years ago.
  • Are there epiphanies where happiness and joy burst forth?
  • Yes, and some are outstanding and seemingly miraculous.

As a result of clearing the spirit of my mom who had been hiding in my body since I was 4 years old and clearing away segments of my sister and father; parts of my body feel happy. Other parts are the sources for body memories being released as a result of incest violations. I regard these body memories releasing as something good. Using a CBT therapeutic frame, I tell myself – they (the body memories) are releasing in the present where I feel safe. No need to worry. So, I don’t.

I have changed over to a mostly vegan diet, exercising more and since last summer I have lost nearly 60 pounds.

Parts of my body feel happy for the first time in my life. And these I feel presence in these parts too. It is such a relief and exciting too.

I’d say the process is working and there is much work that remains to be done.


*somatizations or somatization is traditionally a psychiatric term relating to symptoms that cannot be traced to a source. I am using the term loosely to associate body memories with emotional counterparts.

Chickee Rock – with Pictures

Chickee Rock

Gleason Beach

There’s a beach down there somewhere

Image for post
Birds Posing

Image for post
Pointee Rocks

Image for post
Chickee Rock

for the serious side of this commentary: no-sacrifice-for-the-greater-good

No Sacrifice for The Greater Good

swimmers on beach preparing for competition
Photo by sergio souza on Pexels.com

I live in California where Convid19 is out of control.

Why? This is not rocket science.

The “All for One and One for All” is a lost practice amongst many Americans.  They have forgotten history and have embraced: “It’s all about me.”

As soon as the warm weather hit I noticed forgetfulness striking me – I’d forget to put on my mask as I headed towards an enclosed peopled structure and had to turn-back to my car to put it on.

The Beach

for a flippant rant: chickee-rock-with-pictures


The Favorites of The Mob-Boss of America

The Favorites of The Mob-Boss of America: the poor, the people who never learned “critical thinking” (they may believe “critical thinking” are others that criticizing their thinking) and more…

agriculture animals baby blur
Photo by Trinity Kubassek on Pexels.com

Question: “I’m struggling with how literally millions of Americans are complete morons. Can anyone help me understand this?”

Some answers: Besides fear, the education system, too much media especially action films that excite and dull the emotions and make life profane, the internet as bible are in-part responsible for the dumbing down of Americans.


The Bigger Context – the Epoch

We all experience existential fears in the form of anxiety, denial, depression, rage… and there are usually two variations of responses that both fall into a patriarchal mode amid a larger context long cycles of many thousands of years. [the end / beginning of the Mayan Long Count Calendar, The Aztec/Toltec Prophesy – end of the 5th world – patriarch, beginning of the 6th; and the Ascending Kali Yuga ending in 2025 followed by 300 year buffer until the next ascending cycle begins and many more prophesies indicate major reasons for the responses to fears regarding the transformation that is upon us.] One side (now in power) does not want to face the fears in themselves so look towards something, somebody to vent the blame.


Responses to Fears

They are the poor in spirit, sad people who cave into a patriarchal leadership myth of the all-powerful, strict but kindly father because of emotions and beliefs divorced from a reality that is on the cusp of transformation. Other people who embrace their emotions both “negative” and “positive” that are companions to compassion and inclusiveness stand on the opposite shore. Some of these empathetic people work to balance intellect with empathy which in the short term allows understanding and eventually wisdom to arise and flourish.

The empaths/intellectuals operate from a place of inclusion of the others who are willing to discuss and compromise in some way. Believers in the strong individualistic father know their intellect and/or beliefs give them the right to exclude others they believe are inferior to them. Those that cling to the “Strong Father” often romanticize the past and long for a white male dominate culture like the 40s, 50s and 60s, etc.. Those that eschew the patriarchy may have begun in rebellion (and some remain there) but many now realize that a more egalitarian structured culture where inclusiveness and cooperation are employed is essential to the survival of the human species.


Divisiveness and The Mob-Boss Thug

These two factions live in the context of increased divisiveness characteristic of the end of a larger epoch based on mercantile materialism. These power-hungry groups would rather live in a bubble of comfortable complacency rather than face fears and deal with them directly. This is part of all human nature – to seek comfort.  Right now, the includers have in recent years have mistaken liberal leniency for compassion and the part of result is a mob boss as a so-called leader of the United States. He is actually a leader of only “Red States” so he can be dubbed the leader of the Divided States of America. The excluders found that the Mob Boss spoke to their fears and longing for the “rugged-individualist type”. However, the Mob Boss reneged on all his promises while tricking the people with charismatic zeal into uniting behind his all-powerful God-like Mob Boss Image.

Now the wanna-be dictator #45 has us poised on a cliff with vile threats as lures to jump and kill ourselves or embrace him either way we become dead ducks. Millennials and many others are protesting in the streets during a pandemic to lead us back towards democracy and break the back (vote the Boss out of office and his zombie mob of brainwashed Republicans) of this dictatorial thug. The excluders live from fear and intellectual elitism that values intellectual labors over every other type of labor, therefore they should rule.


The circular argument ensues…

Mob Boss:

Everyone should be like me.

Embrace self-interest to the exclusion of others, be greedy and make more money for me, win at all costs even if it breaks laws, be revengeful. [However only the top 1/10 of 1% can fully play this game as equals.] My others will be rewarded by making more money in an ever-growing economy that serves me. I know that it may take many, many years for all of you to make money anywhere near to what I make, so your worship of me and my money are important for you as a dream you maybe could attain. And you don’t have to see that while I have eliminated certain promises I have made in 2016 and maybe since then I am in the process of replacing them with something much things that are much, much greater. It’s so great I can’t tell you about it right now.  This new things are the gratest.

We all know the interpretation: Mob Boss promises and then changes his mind and plays bait and switch games, blame games, racists games, divisive games and conspiracy games etc. to exclude his base while appearing to include them in the fear – making money game. The making money game can only happen when the 99.9% gain an egalitarian footing with the 1% and above. Then many more prosper.

This is eons behind where it could be and where it must go if less people are to suffer due to the many injustices on the cusp of a new epoch.


Being a Change Agent

Those of us (the silent intelligent and empathic majority) that have seen the larger context of transformation of the epoch are likely change agents. According to astrologer Jeffery Wolf Green people that born between the mid to late 1930s and now are amongst the change agents – having been alive when the matriarchy (the Aztec/Toltec 4th world changed to the 5th world). Once awakened, we are part of a much larger movement to help move us into the new world.

You know who you are.

We are the change agents to move us from fear and tyranny to an era of cooperation, community and partnership with all beings.


A New Game within a CutThroat Context


I’ve been wasting time playing with myself. Okay don’t go dirty on me.

Okay— so it’s playing Backgammon with myself and the “AI” — a simple program with delusions of grandeur. Once I figured out the rules of how the software program plays the game I am able to out-smart the program, but it still cheats in a number or ways, but I don’t want to get side-tracked. The doubling-cube is for gambling and in my experience, is ludicrous because money is a substitute for value, not value itself. Don’t get me started about money aka “What if it was all free?” deal.

I stopped playing against the “AI” dumb program and started playing against myself.

For a time, I thought that the programmers might have been racists seeing as there are black and white pieces. But that has not been the case.

The program appears to keep track of the winner of the last game — played within sets. For instance, one can play a set of 2 up to 32. If black won the last game or two then the program favors black to continue to win giving token wins to white up to a point and then the reverse is programmed in.


Backgammon is nearly 5,000 years ancient according to archeological finds in Mesopotamia. It pits two players against each other using strategy and fate/luck (roll of the dice) to win. The “AI” program must have a random generator that follows certain biased parameters — aka cheating.

The Old and The New Way of Playing — What Happens:

So, in playing against myself I can trounce my other-self with great vigor teetering on revenge following the biases of the program. (BTW I am not a coder or programmer but that doesn’t mean I am not an observant thinker.)

I don’t like myself when I play with the premise of winning and losing. I go inside and change the parameters within and poof:


An outline of how its played

In backgammon there are a number of ways or strategies for moving pieces around the board using the roll of the dice. Small rolls such as 2:1 indicate playing a back strategy; middle rolls such as 6:3 indicate playing a middle strategy; and long rolls and high doubles such as 5:6 or 6:6 — doubles moving one piece 6 times, two pieces 4 times or another combination indicate a running strategy. Two white pieces on a point, blocks the black pieced opponent from landing on that point and vice a versa. The object of the game is to “bear off” or remove all the pieces from the home or end court.


A larger context of learning to play cooperatively allows me to move out of a self-serving position of “me-first”. I have a wider focus — it’s not about winning and losing, it becomes a non-zero-sum game where each side wins. As we both win we move out of a finite game to an infinite game of play for the sake of play. Here I can learn to appreciate the other player’s point of view or my shadow in the isolative scenario.