The Bigger Consciousness of Now versus Past Lives / Life after Death


My Mother and Father 2 years before my Father’s passing

Past lives are lives before our birth and while this may be true a wider perspective may reveal something different. If “the pasts” are memories that exist in the present then it follows that past lives could be memories that also exist in the present. We could have experienced these memories of “past lives” or we may have plucked them from a larger consciousness.

We’ve all heard of people – friends talking about their past lives as famous people from history. Could multiple people be Joan of Arc or Julius Caesar? Maybe they could as dissociative parts of this or that person. Isn’t it more likely that we are remembering details of lives we have selected from the framework of a larger consciousness? When we admit that we are not St. Francis of Assisi or Cleopatra this is ego deflating. However if we are more than our egos and can increasingly access the point of view a larger consciousness then isn’t that greater and more exciting than the ego-aggrandizement of claiming to be someone important in a “past life”? Ordinarily there are no ways to prove if we existed as a person in the past mostly this is idle talk or it could be a very strong sense or feeling. Notable exceptions may be the Fourteenth Dali Lama for example.

I began thinking about the self and consciousness since the death of my Mother in March of 2015. When my Father passed in 2006 I heard from him several hours after he had passed. I was in Oakland, CA on my cell talking with my Mother about to board the plane when she said:

“He’s gone.”

“No,” I said, thinking. He can’t die on my birthday.

It was a long flight with a stop from Oakland, California to Raleigh-Durham, North Carolina. The idea of driving to my parents’ home at 11 pm for two to three more hours was too overwhelming so I stayed at a motel for the night. It was around 11:30 pm when I collapsed fully clothed onto the bed. I was dozing off when the right corner of the bed shook as if someone was sitting down. I then heard the voice of my father in my head:

“You’d better get some sleep, your Mother needs you.”

I was suddenly awake. I smiled – laughing inside. It was just like my Dad to say something bone-headed like that. It took me three hours to unwind from his visitation to get to sleep. A few days later my sister and I drove my Mother to pick out a blouse for the memorial service. I went out to the rental car and then he appeared near the driver’s side, leaned over with a big grin and winked at me before he disappeared. It was as if he was saying something like – waiting for your Mother – could try the patience – I felt sympathy from him.

My Mother insisted we take some of my Dad’s ashes to the ocean. There was an onshore wind. I stood under a pier partially shielded from the November wind. It blew back to underneath the pier but it did land in the water.

When my Mother passed I didn’t feel anything from her at all. I didn’t get any messages from her. No visitations as I had from my Father. My Dad died of a disease of the lungs and was mentally and emotionally cogent, he was 86. My Mother at the time of my Dad’s death had had the onset of dementia building over ten years. She was 88 when he passed. She passed at 97 and was clearly not cogent and was dissociatively challenged.

This past week May 11th I made contact with my Mom on an emotional level. The feeling was warm and sentimental and I received some pictures with the feelings. It was my sister, my Mom and I spreading some of the ashes in a garden. Later that day I received an email from my sister about Mom’s ashes. I “knew” as a shaman that my Mother was gathering the pieces of herself together after the death of her body. Could it be that she wanted closure and had been waiting until the right time using her way to contact me? I had originally thought that I hadn’t yet heard from my Mom because she was gathering herself together. Now I think she may need my sister and I to form a bond to assist with her closure here on the planet.

I was chatting with a friend about what I have surmised about life after death (of the body) from contact with those that had passed. There is no time. Time is eternal, everything happens in the present. Because the corporeal body is gone consciousness expands and is everywhere as is love.* However something of the ego survives at least as a way to interface with humans with bodies. The ego is easily transcended because consciousness is not contained within a physical form and is everywhere. This is extremely difficult for us to comprehend because we experience the origin of consciousness as emanating from a brain within a ego-structure. When we are “contacted” by a loved one from “over-there” we imagine them in a body or a self communicating with us or we have an emotional connection that seems familiar. This contact to us is a singular event. Without a body or an ego – at least bounded by a body – without time or space consciousness can seem to be in many places at once.

My spirit guide Redwood showed me that love is everywhere and within us and without us. Every being is included in this sea of love and because we have egos its difficult to really feel this love. Once the body has passed this love and the expanded consciousness woven with love is experienced directly and without the constraints of time and space can be felt in many arenas simultaneously.

The multitasking of the individual consciousness after death could be overwhelming to the recently passed dementia or Alzheimer’s patient could take longer from our referent point than from theirs.

Are there past lives / life after death or is it just memory and expectation?

Why not both?



* A friend who passed in early 2013 popped in and said smiling and happy: “There’s so much Love here.”

Struggle – its not what you think


If this is something that you don’t like to do

or think is difficult,

think again.

95 to 99% of your struggles today

have been occurred successfully

and therefore have been effective.

Getting out of bed, going to the bathroom, eating breakfast, brushing your teeth, showering and grooming. Getting in your car to go to work.   Making eye contact. Listening. Talking. Smiling. Working, having lunch, driving home, making and eating dinner, are effective struggles that you may have completed today.

But you may not think of these activities

as struggles because they may have been easy!

The 5% of your struggles are one’s you dislike doing so you may avoid, postpone or minimize them.  When forced into doing something you have to do you may tense up your body and not struggle very successful to complete your task. You may be struggling against yourself to avoid the activity and impair your performance without realizing your handicap. Then struggle becomes something odious.


All struggles are the battle between

“Yes I am doing something.”


“No I am not doing something.”

When we challenge ourselves to face struggles we don’t like we can use the battle between Yes and No to create energy for inner work.

First we need to know what are the struggles we dislike.

This can be done through Autogenic Training.

This is a form of observing oneself and marks the beginning of cultivating the Witness Self.

More to come on Autogenic Training…

Phoenix – Erasing Karmic Debt and a New Life

In the beginning I avoided the extraordinary experiences because of a respected teacher had said:

“Many psychic-type experiences will happen as you do ‘The Work’. Pay no attention to this and continue to do your inner work.” 

 spoken by Pierre Elliot Headmaster

of the Fifth Basic Course at Claymont School for Continuous Education

in August of 1981.

I had started a house cleaning business incorporating my inner work or ‘The Work’ as within the tasks of cleaning. On July 3rd of 1984 I was cleaning a summer residence. J’s household was around in the early afternoon and then would leave with the children and Grandpa to Costco in Santa Rosa. They left me alone to clean the house. The weather was odd on that summer day in Northern California, overcast, hot and humid.

I was finishing up in the back utility room by putting away supplies when I heard a commotion on the deck between the house and the garage. It was a dust devil or whirlwind. It had picked up the plastic chairs and tables about 12 to 15 feet in the air whirling around. I peered out of the window watching it when it suddenly stopped and all the furniture clattered back to the deck. I straightened it. I was tired and dirty from cleaning and I had wanted to go home when I heard an odd sound originating at their built-in swimming pool.

The pool skimmer was caught up on the wave gutter of the pool. Wave gutters are normally for Olympic sized pools and one does not see them in backyard swimming pools very often. This pool skimmer was sputtering, a garden hose attached to its under belly.

I stood there examining the situation and finally said aloud to no one:

“I don’t feel like bending over and lifting it off.”

I felt an impression of a voice in my head say:

“You don’t have to do it that way.”

“Oh yeah,” I said feeling like an idiot for talking to myself, “What other way is there?”

No answer. A feeling or a sense swept over me.

I bent my knees slightly. I clenched my fists and bent my right elbow so that my right fist was near to my right shoulder. My left fist and left arm were extended by my left side. Using tension in both arms I reversed the positions and the skimmer moved off the lip of the wave gutter out towards the center of the pool.

“Nah,” I said aloud. The impression of the voice said: “Well, bring it back.”

I reversed my arms and it came back onto the wave gutter.

I freaked out. I ran to my car and ripped out of there thinking I was crazy.

In the summer of 1984 I experienced many odd things. I saw auras around people at times. While running, my spirit soared into the sky. I saw how light connected our hearts together and how that connected to the light of trees and plants and connected everyone with every being.

That period of wildness ended and in 1985 I landed a job at an alternative crisis residential treatment center. It was in this supportive environment that I began to trust my intuitive gifts.

In early February of 1990 just as I was about to fall asleep I asked:

God, what am I suppose to do with my life?

 At the time I did not know why I asked the question. In retrospect I can see that I was stable enough on the path of my inner work so I was ready to take the next step.

I thought that I might have a dream about my path. When I awoke I realized there had been no dream. I felt groggy and not ready to leave my bed.

A Being entered through my groin and curled up into a ball in my stomach. Then a full name came to me.  It was the name of a woman whom I had met about a month earlier that I had instantly disliked. She was a prominent woman in the community so I thought she would have an unlisted and/or unpublished telephone number.

I went to the phone book thinking I would be let off the hook and not be able to call her.  But I found her phone number. I dialed the number. She answered and I identified myself.

I know what I’m about to say sounds crazy, but…”  I relayed the experience that had just happened.

She said: “I’ve been curled up in the fetal position and I have been thinking about killing myself.”

At that point I made her promise that she would not harm herself in any way until we could meet two days later.

We met, she told me what had happened to her over the holidays. I had gathered the names of therapists and groups in town from my friends at work (the crisis resident treatment house) as resources for her. I spent four hours at her home.

At the end of my stay I handed her the resource list and she said: “The universe put you out there to hear my call.  That’s what I needed to start going again.”

We became friends and colleagues and she continues to serve people in her own healing practice to this day.

This was magical enough, but I found an even more remarkable connection. It was 17 years earlier in 1973 almost to the day that I emerged from a coma of three days after a suicide attempt. The early ‘70s from 1972 to 1974 were dark times for me where I had little insight into what had been happening.

I had come from a very dysfunctional family where I lived under the rage of a tyrannical father. I didn’t know how to express myself. I had been depressed for a long time without having realized it. I had a passive-aggressive style of expression and so on.

I was rageful and I directed the rage at myself. I was near death, my girlfriend had told me that my parents had called in a priest to do last rites.

The timing of the recovery of from the suicide attempt without brain damage and the answering of my question could have allowed me to erase the karmic death of disrespecting my own life. It gave me an opportunity to begin a new life, in short to surrender to a calling or a destiny of helping others through the way of the shaman.

It was a blessing – manna from Spirit as if I was privy to chapters of my own destiny unfolding into the miraculous.

In my own intuitive manner I searched out and found two teachers that helped me to the next steps along this path…

[NOTE: Most of this story also appears in The Calling. This version is more detailed and expository.]