Many years ago I took a break from relationships. In August of 2008 a relationship with a woman that had been ill conceived at the start ended. I decided to live relationship-free since then. Since that time I have been working on feeling whole without a woman as intimate partner.
Intially I was taking a break from intimate relationships and even dating when I became increasingly more comfortable with alone-time. In my work with my private clients and in a crisis-team for mental health clients I work intimately with others’ issues and know the emotional life of my teammates. So alone time has become precious to me.
Friendships have become more valuable and have grown deeper without a need for deep intimate contact and this has been a relief. However some of my friends may have felt abandoned because I don’t have much time for friendships due to the intensity of my private work and crisis-team work. My idea of alone time is not talking on the phone, texting or chatting via te internet during me down time. In addition to shedding intimate relationships I have grown into an asexual lifestyle that fits me well.
I titled this piece – “Being Me” in an effort to avoid labeling my state as “single” thus separating myself from couples. Traditionally many define themselves as couples and singles. Technically I am single but I don’t feel single, I am me; an individual voyaging through the world.
I did find an asexual dating site on-line but due to time constraints I let the idea of that go…
I find that I feel intensely free to be me. Yes I am still attracted to the opposite sex but feel no desire to pursue companionship into dating etc.