Joe – a Tribute

Joe-Shasta2002Joe at the parking lot near Panther Meadow, Mount Shasta

~

I met Joe at the New Leaf Bookstore in Larkspur, California in May of 1996.

I worked on Saturdays at the New Leaf from 10 am to 7 or 8 pm providing short “Psychic” Readings. Joe had a reading. He was very impressed with it.

He started coming in and we began talking about interdimensional realities and spirituality. These talks started getting longer, so I suggested he join me during my lunch/dinner break.

I brought bag lunches in the early days. Then Joe invited me up the street to Spanky’s, a breakfast and lunch place that had a model train on a track near the ceiling chugging around the restaurant every ten minutes or so. We’d eat and kibitz for an hour or so.

He liked my work so much he suggested I incorporate so he could buy a share. I laughed, but I talked to a friend about it. She advised against it. If I made the company public others could get a majority share and buy me out and prevent me from working at my avocation. Or I could have a privately owned company where I would always own 51 % of the shares or more. It sounded too much like a business and I declined all together.

Joe was a client who was also a friend and to some degree a benefactor. He loved going out to dinner. He would take me out to dinner at a variety of restaurants in Marin County from greasy spoons to high-end places. One time we were having steaks at Sizzler near the Marin Civic Center.

“Don’t look now. Don’t turn around. George Lucas and his son (I guess) are behind you having a steak.” Joe turned around. Lucas had a pink Roll Royce outside too. “I told you not to turn around. Geezs, Joe!”  He shrugged.

When I first met Joe he wasn’t working because he was recovering from a massive heart attack and triple bypass surgery. Eventually he went back to work – as an architect designing hospitals. He once said that if I know how to operate AutoCAD I could get a job as an architect at his firm.

“That gives me great confidence knowing there are “architects” whose only experience is AutoCAD – knowing a design program are making a hospital – hmm.  I won’t want to go to one of those hospitals because it might just collapse.”

He laughed.

           “Well a lot of the work goes through me and then it all gets reviewed by the Structural Engineer.”

 

When The New Leaf closed in 1999 and I had become locally known and had been hired by Hollywood Types to consult on business, be the entertainment at parties and continue to do readings and healing work. It was all thanks to a two staffers at The New Leaf and word of mouth.

After the close of The New Leaf ( a recovery bookstore) I worked out of an office in Kentfield on Saturdays until the hippy-dippy chiropractor – I subleted from – decided to move his operation to Fairfax (west Marin). I had an office P/T at The Sonoma Holistic Center in Sonoma after that.

Joe had also become one of the three “Lotto Buddies” with a silly cheer. He once said that he would give 10 % of his Lotto winnings for free massages for the rest of his life. (I was also a massage therapist).

“Have you won yet?” I asked him.

“No,” he said, “Not yet.”

“You want me to take your promise of 10% on nothing but a future promise.”

He smiled.

“I think you already know my answer.”

 

When, in 1999 a colleague and I did a workshop on Mt. Shasta, the Lotto Buddies, Joe, my best friend (a female) and myself reconnoitered the campground where we were to stay and hung out in Mt. Shasta City and on the mountain.

We had three workshops there – 1999, 2010 and 2011. Joe was invited but did not attend. However we traveled up there for those years and then some but before the workshops.

Joe became a student – developing his skills as a healer and could have had a private-healing practice but decided not to go that route. When the economy tanked he lost his job and slipped into retirement. As a result of using an OTC nasal spray for allergies he lost his sense of smell and going out to eat was no longer appealing except for desserts.

Due to Joe’s loss of his sense of smell he became depressed and remarked while with the Lotto Buddies that “I’m just waiting to die.”

After falling down a flight of stairs at his house he decided with his daughter to move to the greater Portland (Oregon) area in 2010.

I visited him in 2011 and 2012.

——————-

He was a great friend; a benefactor and he had great stories to tell.

He passed Sep 29 2017.

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“I Made a Mistake, I Apologize.”

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In April of 1983 I was living at Eden Square Apartments in midtown Stockton, California. Parking was on the street. I had moved there in November of 1983.  I had moved to the Big Valley in 1982 from the east coast where I was unfamiliar with the kind of parking described below.

I parked on East Acacia – a side street. The front entrance was on El Dorado around the corner.

A guy started shouting at me and pointing at the street. At first I paid him no heed and continued to walk away.

“Hey you, Guy! You parked wrong.” He was yelling at me.

I stopped and looked at him.

       “What?”

He jabbed his arm / finger towards my car and shouted:

“You parked wrong.”

“Its how I always park,” and started to walk away.

“You see those lines painted on the street?”

“What?”

He pointed to the lines painted on the street. I looked.

“They’re there for a reason, buddy,” he was boiling mad.

The lines on the street were like a grid.

Duh, I got it.

 

 “Sorry, didn’t see it. Didn’t think to look. I’m sorry. I’ll move my car.” I got in and moved the car to in-between the lines.

 

            This guy was suddenly my best friend. Immediately his mouth dropped. He invited me to join him at Gold’s Gym- below my apartment building. I respectfully declined.

            He shook my hand and thanked me.

 

 

 

Dealing with Acute Physical Pain

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Originally Published: April 25, 2010

 

Acute pain is the body’s way of healing.

When an injury occurs our natural response to pain is to recoil and resist. One time I remember loosing my footing and twisting my ankle. My initial reaction was to tense up against the pain, but then I remembered something else. I sat down, relaxed my ankle breathed into and released the pain. There was no pain or swelling, just some tenderness that went away with walking.

Another time I was doing a wah-wah on my fingers where I had touched a hot light bulb without thinking. Then I remembered – duh – I can heal this. I went into the pain and released it outside my body – there was no burn, no blister and no redness.

When our bodies produce acute pain and inflammation in response to an injury the self-heal of the body is working. We can assist that process in a number of ways one that I have already described above.

 

  • Anti-inflammatories such as ibuprofen and other pills are useful – so take them in addition to alternate techniques.

 

  • Sending cold to the effected area can numb the pain.

 

  • I recommend venting the pain/heat and bringing in a kind of cooling purple gel like a purple-jello to soothe the effected area. This can reduce and /or eliminate the pain all together or reduce it.

 

  • Sometimes the pain can be lifted from the body and then floats in the auric field.

 

Chronic pain is another story.

Negative Emotions – Part Two of two

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What are the functions of emotions?

Are there positive and negative emotions?

Perhaps emotions are neither positive nor negative they just exist and society attaches value to them. As was written in Part One negative emotions may be negative because they are expressed negatively or a value / judgment is placed from outside or inside our selves. Certainly so-called negative emotions may be experienced as unpleasant especially when they are acted out instead of merely expressed without the drama.

All human thought is associative and only varies based on associative thinking. We think by associating one idea with another. A good example that illustrates this is thinking about at trip say by automobile. One cannot think of the entire trip at once.

Challenge: “Yes I can through looking at a map.”

Answer:     “Maps are representations of a trip not the trip itself

We think of the steps of a trip. Drive down the road. Turn right down Highway 12. Turn left at the light. These are steps; one associated with the next. Even deductive or inductive logic are formal ways of organizing associative thinking.

Associative thinking is an easy way to characterize emotions as negative and positive or pleasant and unpleasant because this kind of cognitive mapping is hardwired into our neuronal structure. In psychological theory we look to feel a sense of pleasure or satisfaction and avoid, suppress, repress and/or deny any emotion that interferes with this pleasure.

The “new age” thinking associates ego with negativity and the expression of the divine self with a positive non-attached bliss and enlightenment. Even when we are able to release the ego and feel the bliss of oneness this feeling lasts briefly because as we think or say “I” ego rushes back in and claims the experience. There is nothing wrong with ego claiming the experience of oneness – one of the ways of attachment. The danger is the development of an illusion that one is in a constant state of the divine self when it is merely ego claiming the experience. The illusion is so thick that many “new age” thinkers develop a false personality of divinity and make assumptions. This kind of illusion helps support the duality of thought (through association) eliminates complexity and allows a simple view to assist in keeping us stuck in an illusion of living in bliss, oneness and enlightenment. This factor is one of many that robs us of the path to mastery. In other words the “new age” philosophy makes ego bad and oneness good – it’s not that simple.

In Buddhism we learn that one of the chief attributes of being human is attachment. Emotions are the fuel for attachment. Many who first contact the Buddhist Philosophy may think that attachment can be overcome once and for all. This is not true except when enlightenment is attained (however there are two caveats that belie this assertion). Those that are enlightened retain their personalities / egos which continue to be subject to attachment. As we dwell within our physical bodies a natural attachment develops for it as a vehicle for our survival and as a part of our egos. Attachment is with us until our body dies and could continue into the afterlife. Attachment is a positive factor in our lives when it is utilized in creating increasingly higher states of consciousness.

Attachment is a biological and egoic process within us. It feels good in a sensorial manner.

Attachment can be seen on a continuum:

Figure 1 – Process of Un-examined Attachment

attachrange

Figure 2 – Process of Working with Attachment

attachrange-copy[Aside: in psychological theory Attachment takes on a different connotation – one where an infant bonds with its parents through love.]

As a child develops it models the behaviors of its parents and learns language. Language is the inseparable tech of ego. A child learns language and develops the “me” and “not-me” sense of self and ego is born. Ego grows and learns through attachments and identifications. It is in this way that ego fixes an identity in its social milieu. All of us have egos. As soon as we think or say “I” ego is in play. Attachment is the action of establishing, maintaining and growing the ego.

Attachment can occur through like and dislike. The child likes to play. Attachment to liking something is understandable. The child dislikes when its parents argue. An attachment to dislike is counter-intuitive. The attachment to the dislike is not apparent because the attachment comes with regard to the behaviors and subsequent emotions with those behaviors. The child runs and hides when parents argue – fear, or get angry and acts out, or pretends argument is not there avoidant etc.

Emotion is the major fuel of attachment. As ego develops and grows it desires to attain more experiences. They it can let go and become one with the other in a brief moment. This could be an act of love or a oneness with the multiverse. However what invariably happens once ego is released in the moment it comes rushing back in in the next moment claiming and reveling in the experience of oneness in a desire to claim it, define it and understand it from an ego perspective. Attachment from the Buddhist perspective says that the emotions that fuel attachment come from a pursuit of happiness that is believed to exist outside the ego and thus must be attained. This pursuit is tied into the whims of ego and language (as tech) that supports the pursuit along a linear time line. True happiness is already within and need not be pursued. Thus it is said that we are already enlightened and are peeling away the layers of illusion that allow us to realize that state and keep ego corralled.

The path of mastery is a taming of ego from within. This is a Herculean endeavor. Part of the journey is developing the witness within. From this inner place it is possible to begin to work with our attachment via emotions.

Negative emotions are ineffectively expressed and are seen as undesired. Often times the expression of anger, anxiety, panic, rage, fear, and loathing etc. are expressed in a maladaptive manner that reflects regressive or childish expressions of these emotions. They have been modeled by our parents and their grandparents and so on and have been inoculated into our thinking as “negative emotions”.

Some positive emotions produce satisfaction, happiness and bliss, amongst many more. Often others want to be near us when we exhibit positive emotions. Positive emotions are almost always wanted to the exclusion, denial and/or suppression-repression of the negative ones.

Transforming Emotions and Attachments into the Energies of Consciousness

 The problems of ego, the limitations of linear time and language and associative thinking contribute to the either/or dialectic in thought and deed that have been troublesome.

Associative thinking quiet naturally leads us into black and white thinking: positive and negative emotions, ego is bad, divine self is good etc. We have made the assumption that only two forces make the universe work: positive energy and negative energy. In the atom there are electrons – negatively charged particles or waves and protons – positively charged particles or waves and there are neutrons –particles that have no charge.

Inner or Spiritual Work relies on the Witness or Neutral Observer. In Quantum Physics the observer sees the effects of what is observed, and this was once thought to be impossible because experimenters thought they were separate from experiments. Transposing this kind of thinking to neutrally and compassionately observing our self. This allows us to build a relationship with our self that is neutral and thus allows judgment to dissipate so that we can dispassionately see ourselves without the filters of illusion. By focusing within and systematically releasing our thoughts on a continual basis attachment, freedom from attachment, abiding happiness and enlightenment become apparent.

When we face unwanted (or so-called “negative emotions”) without judgment from the compassionate witness self energy is created. This energy is usually blown off through talking or it can be stored for future work towards mastery and the evolution of cosmic consciousness.

Negative Emotions – part one of two

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What is the function of negative emotions? Why do we have them?

The seven deadly sins not withstanding negative emotions originate from our earliest beginnings and are built for our biological survival from immediate danger.

The seven deadly sins – put forth by the theology of the Roman Catholic Church are immersed in judgment and morality, but worth a look:

  • Pride (pride is a good emotion when not excessively indulged in creating hubris) Hubris is excessive pride where the “prideful” person is often divorced from reality and has an overly confident stance
  • Greed – a desire to possess more than one needs and seems to be addictive (greed for money – excessive wealth, power, status or the acquisition of things)
  • Lust – excessive desire for an experience or thing, mostly lust for sex, but could also be lust for power, another addictive emotion.
  • Envy – a desire to have what another has which can destroy the person experiencing this emotion due to possessiveness / greed (also addictive)
  • Gluttony – over indulgence in food and drink (also addictive)
  • Wrath – or anger / rage and when accompanied with violence is a volatile emotion (also can be addictive)
  • Sloth – laziness or apathy related to depressive emotions.

 

Many people of “new age” view negative emotions as unwanted and bad.

The Seven Deadly Sins or Negative Emotions particularly greed, lust, envy, gluttony, hubris and wrath appear to arise out of addictive emotional / somatic elements that are substitutes for the lack of love and the bond of love needed for children. Sloth may arise from depressive emotions.

It would appear that hubris, greed, excessive lust, wrath and envy are extremely addictive emotions that arise from maladaptive behaviors within society and whose basis derives from avoiding fears or an inability to deal with fears.

Part of the purpose emotions involves how humans become attached to life on earth. This process may be likened to an attachment, an identification and / or addiction to the experiences of life. More on the function of emotions in an evolutionary process in Part Two.

I think its safe to say that we as humans have experienced one or more the seven deadly negative emotions at some point in our lives.

If someone tells you your having negative emotions then they are putting judgments on you and shaming you for emotions that are common to us all. But wait – what they are really doing is judging you for expressing so-called “negative” emotions in an ineffective manner that is often called “acting-out”. Negative emotions expressed negatively are quite common because we have little to no emotional education and may be furthering the cause of make negative emotions increasingly negative.

~

Many people of “new age” view negative emotions as unwanted and bad. These emotions must be expunged or eradicated and replaced by positive feelings through affirmations, meditation etc. They often believe that the ego is bad and is associated with negative emotions and that the divine self or egoless self promotes only positive emotions. When the “negative emotions” are cut loose then a belief develops that the ego is functioning on an increasingly positive vector. This “cutting loose” of negative emotions may be an illusion based on a belief that the power of the mind (over matter) – over negative emotions when the emotion may have gone underground through denial, repression or suppression. This “new age” line of reasoning is based on many faulty assumptions that will be explored in part two.

Anger and/or rage may be the one negative emotion that may be wanted because it fuels righteousness and a sense of power over others and can be very addictive and abusive.

Negative emotions may produce a fight or flight response. When no immediate danger is present then the acting-out expression of negative emotions often repel others. Negative emotions are not always wanted and sometimes abhorred. Many a time I have heard clients and acquaintances say: “I want to get rid of this feeling.” This kind of thinking is based both on a desire to focus only on positive emotions and avoid negative ones and a basic flaw in our emotional education albeit informal. A misunderstanding of the functions of all emotions, positive, negative, mixed feelings and neutral feelings creates a stigma around negative emotions. The result is a misunderstanding of the function of negative emotions and a disservice to our growth and evolution.

There is a unspoken bias in our civilization that emotional states are divided into two groups so feelings can be reduced to the simplest terms for understanding. However this creates a trap so that negative emotions are seldom addressed effectively.

Some values of Negative and Positive Emotions

negative

positive

unwanted wanted
unpleasant pleasant
shunned exalted

Emotions, especially negative emotions are usually expressed through stories especially amongst those of with no formal emotional education. Storytelling usually serves the function of describing the emotion without naming it and it justifies the storyteller in feeling a certain way adding morality such as I am right for feeling this way and it implies that the other person is “wrong” for feeling another way in the context of the story. In stories emotions are not left to stand on their own. Morality, judgments, rationalizations and justifications are attached to emotional states in an attempt to make one person better than another, the other being “the cause” of the emotional state – often negative.

Venting is a common storytelling morality play that serves in keeping the venter stuck in feeling and recycling the negative emotion as part of a cognitive belief.

Often it is through venting with / to another (or with our self) that many negative emotions become apparent and may be released however this is not so often the case. Venting doesn’t solve the source of the negative emotion it only lets it out to air. The underlying dysfunction from the past remains unsolved and venting begins again. This can take a variety of forms. Complaining is one kind of rift that is a kind of venting filled with storytelling ripe with frustrations, self-reproach and self-pity. I had a friend that would seek me out to vent about her relationship and ask for advice. She would paint herself as a victim: feel guilty, self-pitying and frustrated. She would ask for advice and I offered advice. Rinse-repeat. She never followed my advice. For a while I just listened. She repeatedly asked me what she should do. Finally I told her – I didn’t know and that I couldn’t help her and that she could seek therapy.

Repeated venting is often a rational justification for negative feelings through storytelling. Often the emotion is not expressed directly. The story has to do what the person has done and what was done to the person and a justification of righteousness. Repeated venting becomes an addiction. The justification for being right is separate from feelings (cognitive dissonance) and keeps the venter from taking action thus keeping people in the place of venting. This is especially true with regard to anger and rage. The emotion inflates the self of self and is linked to thinking of being right. When an injustice becomes evident many of like-mind become angry and the venting begins. Becoming angry / rageful over a perceived injustice may often be warranted and the anger may be an acting out that does not achieve justice. Venting is the result. Many of the group doesn’t take action or if they do there is no immediate result so more venting is warranted. When venting recycles enough it becomes addictive and no actionable results are produced.

Anger and/or rage may be the one negative emotion that may be wanted because it fuels righteousness and a sense of power over others and can be very addictive and abusive. Historically anger comes from the fight principle in defending the self from immediate danger. In our daily social politics those that display anger and / or rage do so from “acting-out” behaviors that may be adult tantrums that are refined or unrefined. Seldom I have seen anyone arousing anger in them selves as an effective emotion. Those that are acting-out their angers are impossible to avoid unless we run from them. Intervening with someone who is acting-out anger or rage is potentially dangerous due to the possibility of violence.

My father enjoyed baiting me into arguments so he could dominate me with his premises and make me bad, wrong and stupid. During the Vietnam war I constantly argued with him. I asked my lover during that time to assist me with the debate.

I said: “I feel all war, all killing is wrong.”

He said: “We have to defend our allies against the Commies.”

She said: “A feeling is a feeling. Its not right or wrong, it just is.”

From that point on I was able to diffuse all of my Father’s attacks (unless he had been drinking) by identifying his premise and either disagreeing with it or ask him if he meant to hurt my feelings with his argument.

This curtailed his yelling at me that I was bad wrong or stupid and we engaged in playful joking or conversations about the weather.

Many of us have been trained to believe that others are responsible for our emotional state. “You make me so mad,” and other similar statements allow us to remain children without power. Certainly our emotions may be triggered to arise from the unpleasant manifestations of others.

Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements speaks to others emotions and judgments. The second agreement:

Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

 

An honest approach to emotional expression may look something like this:

“I feel angry right now and I realize this is in no way your fault. I was triggered when you did such and such. If you’d like to assist me in processing my feeling that’s okay. Otherwise I’ll just sit with the feeling myself.”

Obviously this is ideal. When we come from environments where acting-out negative emotions and behaviors are modeled its difficult to make a transition to taking responsibility for or emotions.

In Part Two the function and necessity of negative emotions are discussed as a part of the way towards mastery.

Changing the Weather (a hurricane)

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Choices

Using a body-mind-emotion based force the course of Hurricane Irma could change.

In the 1990s I lived on a mountain about 1200 feet high. Using my magnetic energy linked with the mountain I worked to influence weather patterns to keep the coastal fog at bay and at the same time keeping the temperature in a moderate range.

I stopped. I stopped because: “What right did I have to interfere with Earth’s weather patterns?”

Action

That having been written I decided to work on diverting Irma out to sea by first strengthening Highs, high-pressure systems. My karma increasing due to meddling in the weather or maybe I’m (was) delusional.

Visualizing hurricane Irma spinning away from the east coast of the USA and away from landmasses all together is just fantasy make-believe without a full-bodied visualization.

Start by grounding: https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2016/10/13/a-grounding-exercise-practice/

And visualizing: https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2016/12/01/visualization-manifestation-an-introduction/

Ground by visualizing and feeling our connection to Earth. As you bring energies up from Earth allow your body to become a resonant electromagnetic EM force. Combine emotion with that by activating your heart chakra (see links above). See the EM resonant force centered in your 2nd chakra (3 fingers below your naval)/ Open your third eye (your visualization center), blend energies of your heart chakra and your 2nd chakra with your third eye. This is what I do.

Some steps:

  1. Strengthen the high-pressure systems.
  2. See the storm from space and see it veering off north away from the land mass
  3. Go into the storm and spin the direction away from the land mass
  4. From inside and from orbit see the storm weakening and spinning itself out.

Those skilled in interdimensional work can use the higher dimensional structures to help dismantle the storm’s power or shunt it in a different direction,

Here’s an interesting update:

The interdimensional matrix to diffuse and move the path of the storm continues to fall apart and reassemble itself – 9:35 am PDT

Home

4-magicThe duck pond on the Sonoma Plaza 🙂

 

On an early Sunday morning in February of 1983 my best friend Kent and I went to Sonoma and the Valley of the Moon.

I had moved to the Stockton area in 1982 to live and work with Bhante – the Dharmawara Mahathera and learn Vipassana Meditation in greater depth. However I rebelled against being a devotee – something he had wanted (not me) and moved out.

Hanging out at the Blackwater Café in Stockton I came to know Kent. We became good friends. He introduced me to the magic of Sonoma.

His introduction was replete with great wisdom and insight.

I am eternally grateful to him for opening the door to my home.

We left around 6 am in the dusk of a cold morning on that February. He drove his van with his dog and me across the delta towards Sonoma. He had a knack for introducing me to the magic of Sonoma and the Valley of the Moon with his mythic-poetic musings peppered into our conversations.

We missed Bill at perform with his guitar at the church. We met Bill and his wife Shirley at the First Congregational Church on West Spain Street in Sonoma at the tail end of the 7 am Service. Then Kent drove us to their cabin near the top of Moon Mountain Drive in Sonoma. We ate brunch and talked.

My third eye opened wide upon entry into the Sonoma Valley.

Kent and I took a short walk on the fire trail to the south of their house and he waxed on about castles in Europe appearing out of the fog – such as the fog in the valley.

Something quite unexpected had happened that day. I digress – that for the past 18 months I had been doing an inner exercise – a meditation in the morning to create light for the “soul’s body” and open the 3rd eye. My third eye opened wide upon entry into the Sonoma Valley.

I felt the town welcomed me, just as Mount Diablo “spoke” to me about becoming a healer. Of course the impressions didn’t come in English but I translated them into language for a better understanding. At first I explained the opening of my Third Eye by all the spiritual work that was done by others in the valley.

Many years after another answer came to me in a softer manner. It was the land herself, the configuration of the Valley of the Moon and the power center (the Plaza) of Sonoma Valley that has been a source of mystery and powerful transformation. I believe the way in which Kent introduced me to Sonoma and the Valley was replete with great wisdom and insight. I am eternally grateful to him for opening the door to my home.

Towards the end of this Field of Dreams film clip Burt Lancaster’s character Doc Graham makes a powerful statement about “home”. This is how it is for me in Sonoma.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCNp_jl5m6c

PS I give workshops/individual sessions in some of the magical places in Sonoma http://the-kai.com