An unfolding chronicle of events:

Being out of my home for more than 24 hours while waiting for the fires not to come or to come is something that is particularly difficult to handle.

When the sheriff came by with the order to evacuate they made it sound mandatory. Later found out it was advised. So Friday I went back: found power on, but phone (cable down). On the way there I felt the devastation. It wasn’t just peoples’s lives being lost and homes destroyed by fire, it was wildlife fleeing and being killed, it was the sorrow of Earth, it was all the sorrow and loss everywhere. I had to shut it down and go into my head. A survival mechanism and I had been driving at the time.

Some, maybe many people have stayed in Sonoma since the fires started. The Plaza, the square downtown is mostly abandoned many have already fled. Other mandatory evacuations and a fire east of The Plaza have been reported since yesterday and some this morning. I will probably take another trip back on Tuesday 10/17 unless the road is blocked off by the authorities or go back to stay if the all clear comes. I doubt the all clear will come on by Tuesday.

This morning I reached the niece of my ex and good friend of 32 years. She had moved back to Canada about 15 years ago. We had kept in-touch through letters (snail mail), email and phone calls. But I couldn’t reach her so I wrote a letter. Her niece told me she had died of a rare form of cancer in May. She had checked into a Hospice and said she didn’t have any family. The hospice discovered her niece. The hospice reported she had done well for about 4 weeks and then took a turn for the worst. Her niece went to fill out paperwork and while she was working on that Wendy passed. Another loss. On Sept 29 another good friend passed from cancer.

All this loss. Naturally I feel grief and loss on all fronts. And I’m doing okay.

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