Expressions of Consciousness- the tiny aka human experience to the Greater…
Remembering that there is no window
What is the purpose of the human experience?
Where is the meaning?
On February 1, 1973 I attempted suicide, my stomach was pumped and I was in a coma for 3 and a half days. A priest was called to perform last rites. Apparently I woke from the coma and told the priest “Go fuck yourself.” I went back into the coma for another day and a half. I didn’t remember what I had said to the priest. My girlfriend told me. I woke from the coma around 3 pm on February 4th it was a Sunday, though I barely registered it.
Seventeen years later the calendar and the dates of the 1973 experience were synchronized, On Monday February 5th just before going to sleep I asked:
God, what am I suppose to do with my life?
In the morning I woke and there had been no dream that answered my question. It was a question I did not expect an answer. Lying in bed and feeling groggy I had a strange experience:
A presence entered through my groin and curled up into a ball in my abdomen. A name came to me. It was someone I had met..
I didn’t expect to find the woman’s name in the phone book. If her name hadn’t been there I’d be off-the hook. It was there. I called her, apologized and reported the crazy experience I had had.
She reported that she had been curled up into the fetal position and had been thinking about killing herself. I made a verbal contract with her and an agreement to talk a couple of days from that Tuesday morning 2/6/90.
Two days later she related what had happened to her over the holidays and when I offered her the names of therapists to see she said:
The universe put you out there to hear my call and that all I needed.
Surrendering to the experience opened by inner world to “seeing” which had always been there and letting me facilitate healing for others.
It took me many years to connect the two experiences together and parse the meaning. The most obvious was erasing the karma of attempting to annihilate myself. And there was something else there. It was as if it had been written and I was being allowed a glimpse into a larger pattern of my life.
Many years later between 2000 and 2001 I had a television but it was not connected to broadcast TV or cable. So when the planes hit the World Trade Center on 9/11 thankfully I didn’t see these images until many years later. In November I was visiting a friend who had a Quantum Xeroid Machine. She asked me if I wanted to “do past lives”?
“Sure,” I said.
I expected that I might experience “a past life”.
She pressed a button and I “flew over ten thousand past lives I had had on Planet Earth”. I joined a partner being and was with 11 other partnered beings watch the physical Planet Earth form and anchoring “free will” to the planet. I was part of a being that was and is the spiritual guardian of Earth and all her beings. I traveled “further back” and was an alien on a rogue planet with its own light/heat source. I experimented in going all the way forward in my life and wound up at the beginning.
Then. I heard my friend repeating a word. After a long time I realized the word was my name in the current reality.
When I walked home it was night and foggy. I felt as if my ego had been stripped down and was inconsequential. That Americans were inconsequential, and that humans were also inconsequential. Consciousness is the only being that endures survives and evolves all the rest is superfluous.
The next day my ego returned and was full of myself as usual.
Our experience is backwards. We identify with this puny existence of our current lifetime. We don’t experience or remember that we are One-Unified-Consciousness experiencing a variety of lifetimes each has the potential to raise our consciousness allow us to evolve to increasingly higher levels until it is no longer necessary to return to the Earth Plain.
Of course there are the Bodhisattvas* such as the Dali Lama that chooses to return remembering previous lifetimes, serving as an example to assist us to remember that we are a Consciousness that transcends ego.
Our purpose here is to let go of the illusion of suffering and transmute the energy of pain and anguish into light, which is Love.
Our lives are analogous to looking out of a window of a building. As humans we have parameters. The building and the window are like the parameters of a human life. The window and the building define who and where we are. When we pass and shed the skin of the human body the building and the window have no meaning and fall away. They disappear.
The First Incarnation
We separate ourselves from our self and forget or repress our larger self. We strip away the largess of our Great Consciousness and become an individual who then incarnates within a family or a unit on Planet Earth.
Here there is more forgetting of what went before. We are experiencing life and sensuality for the hedonism of life for the first time. Addiction becomes rampant. The choices seem narrow and we push put against them greedy for more.
This is characteristic of a young soul or lightbody inhabiting a corporeal form – a physical body.
As the lightbody matures the individual begins to care as much about themselves as they do for others. Choice is more varied. Addiction and attachment abound. They are only beginning to catch glimpses of the divinity of self.
Old souls or the eldest of lightbodies often reach enlightenment. This is a seeing beyond the current lifetime. There are many choices yet these beings choose love. They are able to see addition and attachment and they work to release. They work tirelessly to release and transmute suffering into light and love.
Many of these old souls never return to a human corporeal existence having completed coating their light being and completed their soul work ready to return to the next stage in an evolving Higher Consciousness. Or as stated earlier they return as Bodhisattvas* to help others reach a higher evolutionary path.
* Bodhisattva (in Mahayana Buddhism) a person who is able to reach nirvana but delays doing so out of compassion in order to save suffering beings.