The Toilet Paper Chronicles with Tex Papel



(insert Texas accent here)


Me, Tex JB Papel and my team of 4 of the Toilet Paper Brigade of the Texas Rangers have ben fielden calls and letters or emails lack this one from ordinary citizens lack you. Due to them crazy-ass TP hoarders – understandably panicked by the Co-Vid- nan teen crisis – we were ordered into the field to seek justice for kneady pursuns lack yourselves in search of a soft wipe. Here is an example of one of da emails my office has received, I’ll read it fer ya all brackets below are my comments [in-serted]:


“I ordered 36 rolls of the Family Sized Cottonelle TP for friends of mine. They reported the following: 1. They only received 24 rolls of TP and they were not “Family Sized” rolls [maybe rolls for single pursuns]; 2. The box it arrived in was tampered with, had holes and was beat up.

My friends are technophobes, and though I have instructed them to use the iPad Camera to photograph the package material, which in their haste – due to a need to have toilet paper [rott away] they opened it. Nevertheless, I asked them to photograph the box and the packaging to prove to you that they did not receive the item as paid for by me and promised as advertised.

Due to the shelter-in-place order I won’t be entering their apartment. But tomorrow, Sunday, I hope to instruct them on how to take a photo with their iPad and email it to me so I can email it to you.

Either your employees [of the manufacture-er] or your local post office have a black-market toilet paper ring or have made a mistake of some kind.

I expect you to rectify the matter.

name withheld for confidenture-ality

[reported sympathically by Tex Papel of the Toilet Paper Brigade of the Texas Rangers]





Although we have not found anything out from the local company or the United States Postal Office we have brokered a deal with your go-between agent and will be refunding you money of $1,200.00. Next thyme you buy TP don’t pay so much in da first place.


Our bill will faollow sune.


(based on a true story and Apologies to all Texans.)

The Biggest Nonsensical Solution /Hoax to COVID19 prevention and cure

adult art beautiful beauty
Photo by Pixabay on


It’s Blow-Drying your nose.  Really?

The YouTube Video I saw made sense in the narrowest of parameters (and has been taken down by YouTube btw).

The video claimed that viruses can be killed through high heat at 133 ˚ F. While this may be true there are a number of fallacies at work here.

  • When you breathe in through your nose or mouth viruses are inhaled into your lungs. THEY DON’T STAY IN YOUR NOSE – Oh yeah, we’re just waiting our turn to get into your lungs. Really?
  • You can’t blow-dry your nose 24/7
  • What about your mouth? Many people breathe in through the mouth and/or nose.
  • Touching surfaces and transfer the virus into your eyes – the mucus membrane of your eyes. The eyes could get infected through aerosol carrying viruses contacting the eyes.
  • Blow drying your mouth & eyes seem – well – stupid. And dangerous to the eyes.
  • Isn’t this an excuse to sell hair driers to people that don’t already have them?


All things that seem reasonable at first glance hit our fear buttons and encourage us to skip our common sense.  If you see a claim that seems reasonable don’t jump on it immediately. Don’t let you fear be your guide. Our bodies may feel the fear while our emotions are bypassed and we jump on a solution.

Here logic is your friend.

First – allow yourself to calm down so you can think through the “solution”. In the case of the Blow-Dryer – the fact that it was taken down – says something. Second check with the CDC website, or other websites that don’t spout conspiracy theories.  Wait a day or two and re-visit the information.

Think about the Blow-Drier in a broader context. If all the viruses were hanging out in your nose before they crept into your nasal passages down your throat into your body, then sure use the blow-dryer. But if you’re breathing the Blow Dryer while it might kill off a few its not going to get most of them.

Coronavirus, economies – tracking change

astronomy cosmic cosmos dark
Photo by Pixabay on

The bigger frame: In 2025 a 6,000-year cycle comes to an end; namely the Kali Yuga. This is not an abrupt end like the slamming of a car door. There is a 300-year transition period before the next cycle of 2,700 years begins: The Ascending Dwapara Yuga.

The Kali Yuga named for the Hindu Goddess Kali – she is the Goddess of Time, Power, Destruction and Creation. In her earliest of appearances, she is known as “the destroyer of evil forces” (see link below). Much like Pluto, Greek God of the Underworld representative of the Phoenix – he is a symbol of destruction followed by creation, Kali is similar.

We need only look at the world around us to see the separation and divisive self-centeredness that is current in-control of the world in this dominant hierarchy to realize that we are in the final stages of the Ascending Kali Yuga – a time of destruction before rebirth.

phases of the moon
Photo by Alex Andrews on

March 11, 2020 to March 21, 2020 Saturn sits at the last degree of Capricorn 29 degrees

Straight data: Decision making is slow or even frozen with extraordinary time being spent weighing possible actions to take. Negative karma of the patriarchy being stuck in time and erring on the side of inaction could be the norm especially for the United States.

Astro Tech: Saturn in astrology is about time and the constraints of time. Because Saturn is exalted in Capricorn (rules Capricorn) it belongs to the male patriarchal tradition. The constraints of time within the Saturnian frame is the authority for discipline, hard work, focus, and established traditions. There is an implication of judgment, the wisdom of old age implicit in the ways of Saturn as well as austerity especially in terms of economics and money. It has also been termed the planet of karma – lessons, what goes around comes around.

Any planet at 29 degrees is one in a crisis. With Saturn at 29 degrees think of all the negative attributes being crammed into the 29th degree and with regard to Saturn / Capricorn it is the negative karma of the patriarchy being indecisive.

March 19th Spring Equinox

Straight data: A feeling of hope.

Astro Tech: 8:49 pm Sun moves into Aries, Moon (emotion) in Aquarius

On March 21 at 9 pm to July 1st

Straight data: If lockdowns are made worldwide lives will be saved – duh, and once that occurs the Coronavirus may mutate out of existence* and /or allow many humans to develop a natural immunity. The economy will show signs of recovery.

*or may appear to go dormant.

Astro Tech: Saturn moves into Aquarius and returns to Capricorn on July 1, 2020:

First Week of July to December 16th

Straight data: look for civil unrest. Populist movements could butt heads and challenge government authority. A mutant strain of Coronavirus could portend a 2nd outbreak.

Astro Tech: Jupiter, Pluto and Saturn play tag by blending energies. Uranus supports revolt.


NOTE: Kali




How Astrology Works

Image by

Fractal Geometry is analogous to one way Shamans see



I view astrology lightly. It’s one tool amongst many for navigating through life’s challenges and accentuating the blessings. Besides astrology I use many of the following for navigating life’s passages:

  • Aims and Goals (an aim is a goal without an end such as “relieving suffering”)
  • My will
  • Inner or spiritual practices
  • My gut (intuition)
  • Intellect
  • Empathy – Emotional Maturity
  • Somatic Knowing
  • Shaman practices


The Three Explanations of “why” astrology works (theories)

Astrology deals in parameters.

If we filter astrology parameters through negative / fear screens the parameters become limiting. If we look at the filters without a positive or negative bent – with neutrality then caution may be exercised. I often experiment with positive astrological parameters to see how a result might manifest between extremes – the results are surprising in a good way.

Explanation One – Astrology Correlates

When the ancient astronomers- also astrologers observed the planets and the moon they noticed the relationships of various movements with seasons of earth: spring, summer, autumn and winter. Phases of the moon. Planets and stars were then associated with the mythology of spring, winter and so on. Other visible planets were tracked out to Saturn and brought into the mythology. Astronomy and astrology have long ago been separated.

Explanation Two – Physics Causalities

Both the gravitational force or fields (GF) and the electromagnetic field (EMF) around planets, moons, the sun, asteroids, comets and other debris in our solar system have been measured by astrophysicists and studied. The entire solar system has a discernible field. It only makes sense that the astrophysics of the community of planets within the sun’s gravitational field along with the EMF and the GF has subtle effects between planets as suggested by astrology.

Explanation Three – Shaman’s Holistic Perspective

The Shaman’s reality combines correlates, astrophysics causalities and a Living Being – The Solar Community of our local star into a personalized knowing of relationships in a wider context. It’s possible that ancient astrologers / astronomers like the three Magi, that followed a star or comet to bring gifts to the newborn Christ were shamans.

Shamans have the ability to “see” / experience reality in macro and micro perspectives through an inclusion principle. In other words, shamans may experience the solar system either in their physical bodies or in their electromagnetic fields produced by their bodies. This is analogous to fractal geometry – as above/so below.



breathable grief; breathable air

a fireman at work
Photo by Brett Sayles on

Start with stuckness

I grew up in a family that was emotionally constipated. The only permissible emotion was anger usually accompanied by yelling, shouting and SCREAMING.

Though I may have been kissed when I was a baby, it’s a time I never remembered. So – so what? Like mostly all mothers of that time they were constantly yelling.

Our mother was constantly criticizing my sister’s and mine every move, phrase, appearance and yelling when we didn’t fit her ideas of perfection, I guess. Our father was a picture of vitriolic rage of a beet exploding in a pressure cooker with an implicit threat of violence always there ready to strike. He’d exercise his rageful right arm and fist by shouting at those damn Democrats on the tv news.

He told me once: “I made a promise never to hit my kids, like my father did.”  Well he broke that promise with me a few times.  But did that phrase mean that he would never hit us or he wouldn’t do it exactly like his father hit him? Like so many things that never got answered.

The “highs” of emotion are temporary

My mother seemed to be sad and anxious about 70 percent of the time and mad the rest of the time. One time she burst into my room when I was 13 or 14 in her dramatic and explosive way. I was relatively happy and ensconced in building my plastic clipper ship model and I just burst into tears for no apparent reason.

“You’re such a cry-baby,” she told me. “Be a man.”

It took me many years to realize that I had been feeling her emotions and then acting them out.


Stoic Death Dealing in a fortress of, well… walls

In our family crying wasn’t tolerated. My cousin’s young daughter or five or six died and I shed some tears when I found out. My mother, father and sister looked at me and regarded me strangely.

In February 1973 a phone call came in and my father somberly announced that his sister, my Aunt Rosie had died. Nobody talked about it being good Catholics and all but she had died due to complications from suicide. I went into my bedroom and cried for 45 minutes. My parents didn’t cry. Nobody at the funeral cried either. It was all that stiff-upper-lip-New England, Connecticut Yankee kind of thing.

Full expression of grief is not permitted in some cultures. Much of the grief is rationalized, fragmented and suppressed, repressed and denied. Loss, grief and sadness goes “underground” and often becomes righteous anger as a defense against the “weaker” vulnerable feelings.

vitriolic rage of a beet exploding in a pressure cooker

In general, we as humans have a problem with loss of any kind. We hate being deprived of anything even if its detrimental to our health. When I stopped smoking cigarettes over 35 years ago I replaced it with breathing cleaner air.

When a person dies or spirit leaves their corporeal body we experience a loss that overwhelms the senses and is heartbreaking. Nothing is quite as impactful as the death of a loved one. Even if we experience them in the realms beyond the loss of the body it is often only briefly. Our attachment to the sensory world shapes our identity and its loss is a stunning and overwhelming event that can produce a variety of results.

Depending on how we were raised, how we express our grief, and the layers of grief that may be caught in our musculature, skeletal or organs for many years may be expressed in somatic pain. If raised in an emotionally constipated family like me, where the predominant emotions expressed were fear/anger based then we may be ensconced in an atmosphere of grief without realizing it. This could be characterized as a personality stance where security is sought by idealizations of the past projected on a present or future. This is a set-up bound to trigger feelings of loss and addictions to power-powerlessness dynamics that repeat in a variety of addictive cycles.


Living in the past where the rent is cheaper

Living in an environment where generations of fear producing anger suppresses the so-called “weaker” or vulnerable emotions produces cycles of denial, suppression and repression. This, in-turn, produces greater and more elaborate cycles of frustration within generational family systems keeping the expression of grief at “acceptable” levels and thus preventing its release in the moment.

Through many years studying and treating many people with mental / emotional health (illness) issues I realized that I was the stronger person in my family because of my willingness to display my vulnerability emotionally. I lived through it felt wounded and recovered from it. I learned that I was the “scapegoat” or “identified patient”. My mother, father and sister placed / projected their unexpressed feelings onto me. I acted it out for them and they blamed and shamed me for having done so.

Often wounded people unable or unwilling to express grief and sadness are seeking feelings of constant love either in a relationship, through an addiction and/or excessive physical activity. They may go from relationship to relationship, maybe marathon runners or be addicted to a substance or activity to feel full or feel at peace or feel happy to the exclusion of feeling empty, unloved, anxious, depressed etc.


Living in peace with a mess of emotions

Finding the equanimity of a neutral place inside, observing fleeting joys, happiness, sadness, grief and loss seems to make life, loss and grief bearable and allows for a kind of magic to emerge. From a tolerance of emptiness, stress, anxiety, loss and grief comes a tolerance to these feelings – that they are only temporary. The “highs” of emotion are temporary as well. From that in-between place where the compassionate neutral observer dwells comes a love that has no object and a realization / embodiment that the pursuit of happiness is an illusion. As I work to shed that illusion inner happiness is mine albeit temporary in a world of ego.


Here are a few mistakes where we betray ourselves:

–  Trading in the idea that more money will make us feel safe (greed is good)

Using money to express love – that’s what my father did. I think many people are stuck in the “more money will make me feel good, safe – happy, satisfied etc.” The trouble with that is the “more” part is never ending. Addiction to money, when enough money is achieved then money is also power – do as I say not as I do and so on.

One day I decided that I had enough to live on and I allowed my feelings to change.


 –  Living in the past

This is especially true past the age of 50. Longing for the good old days. The use of memory to paint a better picture of the past rather than the full picture. Basing present decisions on premises that held together in the 1950s, 60s and 70s.

One of the best techniques I learned along the way is the Socratic Method or asking questions and receiving answers. This method allows us to be connected to others in a forum of community to assist in solving problems – community problems when more than 2 people are involved in the method.


– Looking to a thing to make us happy

In short consumerism, we have been trained out of citizenship into buying stuff. (and throwing that stuff away into a dump that has become the nightmare of a world that will kill us aka the Climate Crisis.)

The real stuff is the love that binds us all together and tolerating the differences when love falters. I’ve been thinking about how to move my life into a greater sustainable place.

What does it mean to live sustainably?


And finally, at least for now

My father died on my birthday in 2006. He visited me three times around the time of his death and once about 6 months after his death. Since then he has been around a few times. I have a better relationship with him now than when he was in a body. I am able to celebrate my birthday without the sadness interfering with my happiness and joy.




Mercury Retrograde 2nd cycle of 2020

June 17th – July 12th length of retrograde period when Mercury will be as close to the Earth during its orbit around the Sun.

the planet Mercury

From Jyotish (Hindu) Interpretation of Retrograding Planets – the attributes of Mercury mainly those of thought, communication, contracts, travel, machinery – will be intensely affected. Western astrologers would have us believe that retrograde means a turning inward of energies when there is no correlative evidence to support this, rather the close proximity of Mercury to the Earth increases the intensity for creating opportunities to meet the challenge of the “retrograde motion” in three ways:

  • Actively rising to the challenge of Mercurial attributes
  • Receptively observing the attributes of Mercury
  • Remaining Neutral or in a Witness State in the face the effects of Mercury

Other astrological events during this cycle of Mercury Retrograde:

Pluto begins to blend energies with The US Birth Chart of 7/4/1776 and will be exact on 2/20/2022 meaning that from now until October of 2023 altogether-it will be blending. The experiment of American Democracy may come to an end and something else may arise from its ashes or Democracy may be reborn. This promises to be a time of death and rebirth.

It will be a particularly intense Mercury in Retrograde due to Jupiter, Pluto and Saturn all in retrograde and close to blending energies. Remember Pluto in Capricorn represents large institutions like government and corporations as well as patriarchal values – with Jupiter – think expansion / grandiosity will mostly like make the crisis bigger or add hope and may portend an increase in earthquakes and volcanic activity and Saturn -authority constrain, accomplishment in the patriarch showing signs of promise as it moves into Aquarius and then retrogrades back into Capricorn cleaning up patriarchy karma in the excesses of capitalism with regard to democracy and climate change.

Look for intensity in June, July and August.

Add to this that on July 4th there will be a penumbra (partial) Lunar Eclipse – although it will only be 35% visible. On a meta level shadow material of Capricorn – the patriarchy will be released on the 244th year of the birth of the USA. So shadow material of the birth of the US will also be released.

When a planet appears to change direction it slows down and appears to virtually stand still only moving in minutes or seconds – this is called stationing. Mercury stations for up to a day or less in both it’s “turn” to go retrograde and then direct. Outer planets such as Uranus, Neptune and Pluto station retrograde and direct for as many as 15 days. When a planet stations it is more intense than when it goes retrograde or direct.

Below is the Mercury Retrograde chart for the 2nd cycle:



The Garden of Delights – 1975- 76

former location of Garden of Delights – courtesy of Google Earth

Garden of Delights breakfast and lunch restaurant 113 C Highland St. Worcester, MA

From 1975 to early 1976 I had one of the best part-time jobs of my life if you could even call it a job. It combined two of my favorite past-times: driving and having fun. It also revealed a few other tasks I excelled at – more on those later.

I began as a dishwasher in a lunch and dinner restaurant – the Garden of Delights on Highland Street in Worcester, Massachusetts. Inside it was all black – black walls, black ceilings, interrupted by two tropical fish tanks, spider plants with their own grow lights and placards with single cell cartoons each with their own illuminated lights and a few maps and prints. This was the work of Tinker and Princess. They were the owners of the restaurant. It was obvious that Tinker had done the interior work / décor.

Tinker was dressed in all black with long black hair and custom-made shoes that curled up at the toes with tiny bells on them. He made them, of course, along with his black vest and its many pockets. He may have bought the wide-brimmed black hat. Princess was the chef. She created the specials that changed every week. It was a vegetarian restaurant except for the tuna of the very famous open-faced tuna melts on toast.

It was a special place at a special time.  

Dish washing was not my most favorite task, actually it was my least favorite task. But everyone that worked there brought in a vinyl rock LP that was stacked about 15 records high on the spindle. We’d rock out all night long as we worked, worked, worked.

My good friend, Valerie who worked there, as a waitress, told me they were looking for a driver to pick-up food and supplies for the restaurant. Tinker and Princess did not own a car. My job was to pick up food for the week on one day and make bank deposits. I started in the spring of 1975. I drove my 1969 VW Bug which was mostly a good car for pick-up.

I went to Mitchell’s Bakery every Wednesday and shopped for the rest of the stuff on Thursdays to my recollection. At Mitchell’s I would buy 100 loaves of whole wheat bread and 50 pounds of fresh ground Mocha Java Coffee; I loved the aroma of all those coffee beans being ground into the bags. They would grind the beans as I loaded the bread in the bug. Next stop – Stop ‘n Shop for cans of White Albacore Tuna – it was the only brand of Tuna where dolphins were not attracted to the nets of the fishing boats.  On the other day I’d do everything else:

  • Off to the Greek Market for 2 to 3 pounds of Feta Cheese, jaw with the owner.
  • On the opposite side of town was a cheese wholesaler open to the public where I would buy Gouda and Muenster in large bars, no need for cutting. A woman customer remarked once: “You must have a big family?” “You have no idea,” I cracked.
  • Then to the bank for a deposit.

The cheese wholesaler stopped carrying 50-pound wheels of Aged Vermont Cheddar Cheese, so Princess or Tinker had to locate a different source. I was given an address down in the warehouse section of Worcester. I parked and started to walk towards the enormous building whose sign read: Boston Beef. I had to laugh. A Natural Foods restaurant that did not serve poultry or red meat was the address I was sent to. In my minds eye I could see Tinker and Princess laughing.

There was a buzzer at a side door. A guy with a hard-hat and a white blood-soaked coat arrived there. I gave him my name, the name of the business and the product I wanted. He had me wear a hard-hat. We walked through the place with beef hanging on hooks deep into the back of the building. He opened the door to a cold-storage locker and brought out a giant wheel of cheese. It was on account and I signed it and he gave me a receipt. Then I hiked out with him. He took the hat and away I went.

I’d go over their apartment a block away from the restaurant for food experiments that Princess would try out for the three of us – as vegetarian dinner specials. After dinner in the dining room amid the low slung and bean bags chairs surrounded by industrial sized wooden spools for tables and swing arms mounted on stands with an alligator clip at the end of each arm, four arms all together.  It was the lazy person’s way of smoking a joint. Well one of the three of us would have to get the joint and transfer it to the next clip, oh such work for “the slammed”.

Summer was great. But the winter of 75 – 76 with the snow storms and the sludge was a drag. On a Wednesday I did a small bit of driving in the city and then off to pick-up 80 gallons of organic Apple Cider and Juice in Sterling north of the city about 30 miles. It had started snowing during my morning run, it was light, but wet.

a 4-foot exact replica of Donald Duck made of solid sharp Vermont Cheddar Cheese with toothpicks holding the pieces together

When I arrived at the mill the parking lot up to the loading deck wasn’t plowed yet. I had stripped all superfluous stuff including two small sandbags from the trunk in order to fit all the cider in the Bug. There wasn’t enough weight in the from to get across the parking lot. Two guys around my age stood on the front bumpers and the drive over to the loading dock was one of ease.

It was an engineering feat getting those 80 gallons of glass bottles loaded with that sweet nectar into the car. There were 60 gallons of cider and 20 gallons of juice: 4 gallons to a box. I tried loading them with the backseat down, but it worked better with it up because I could get some boxes on the floor. Boxes in the passenger seat and one on the floor and two in the trunk with it tied down by some cord. I laughed.

Later, on a winter’s Wednesday morning I was taking a shortcut back to the G.O.D. from the bank. There had been two heavy snows earlier in the week and it was snowing lightly when I came into a very tiny traffic circle.  It was the exact same time a woman in a Mercedes entered from the right and I pumped the breaks to stop. It wasn’t enough. Our bumpers crunched. My bug was more damaged than hers. It was clearly my fault. We exchanged insurance information and phone numbers.

When I got back Princess and Tinker could see something had happened. It was around 10:30 am before the place opened. There was another guy there in a suit. I explained what had happened. Fortunately, my work for that day was done.

“What can we do,” they both asked. I didn’t know. The suit, Tom, had overheard me. He told me he had just graduated from Law School but hadn’t taken the Massachusetts Bar yet. He wondered if he could investigate the accident for me.

“Sure,” I said.

He had me draw a map of how I hit the car and the names of streets etc.

Later I negotiated with Princess and Tinker for one free meal a week, all the free coffee I could drink and to smoke pot with them in the basement after my run once in a while.

They both beamed:

“Yes. Good. Anytime,” they said.

A few weeks later Tom was waiting for me when I returned from my run. He told me that she was driving the wrong way down a one-way street, but hadn’t seen the signs: one was broken off by a plow and the other signs were covered by piles of snow.

In the meantime, I had used a heavy-duty rope to pull my bumper out. I called the woman on the phone and explained the new situation. She was beside herself. But since I had done my own “repairs” I told her there was no need for our insurance companies to get involved. Relieved and disappointed, she agreed and that was that.

Near St. Patrick’s Day ’76 Prink, Princess had shortened her name to match Tinker and they had become Prink and Tink, she had me drive her to a deli south of Clark University on Main. On the way there she told me her real name:

“And you have to promise never to tell anyone. Okay?”

“Yeah, sure. No problem.”

“And I’m thinking of going to the Culinary Institute of America in New York.”

“Oh God, the CIA,” and we both laughed.

By early spring of ’76 I had to stop working there due to faltering grades at Clark. I graduated in May of ‘76

Years later – in ’77 Tink found me and invited me and Val to their Thanksgiving Day Feast at the GOD for all employees past and current complete with a 40-pound turkey, stuffing, and all the fixings including a veggie alternative. And pies, pies, pies and a cheese cake, the same kind I used to get – the one that was so thick and sticky you had to cut it with waxed dental floss.

Tink made a 4-foot exact replica of Donald Duck made of solid sharp Vermont Cheddar Cheese with toothpicks holding the pieces together.

What a riot.

In 1986 the Gardens of Delights was gone… Nobody knew what happened. Prink and Tink had disappeared. Someone had said the owner of the building had raised the lease… but no one really knew.

Explorations in Grief – Shifting the Cliff

beach calm cliffs coast line
Photo by Pixabay on

Since November of 2019 I have been engaged in a journey through the layers of grief and release.

Lately it’s been tough:

I realized that an old anger has returned – but maybe it’s been there all along and I hadn’t wanted to see it until now. It’s somatic anger, a clenched jaw. Okay not only anger resides there, fear too, tension, anxiety and oceans of sadness and grief. I can easily see the locus of it all – originating in an oppressive family system, wounding from childhood sexual abuse.

In my work as a healer I was assisted in temporarily shunting the anger aside which meant relaxing my jaw and releasing the tension. The fear also jetted away. I held the sadness behind a dam in a distant neutral land while I filled my body with light.

What remained was love. Such an abundance of sweet love. Impossible to describe I was able to fall back asleep sometime after six am.

A Dream Came:

The headlines read:

300 billion automatic weapons worldwide have been turned into the UN

and melted down into scrap

People from everywhere the Americas to Asia joyously turned in their automatic weapons to UN Stations throughout the world where they are now being melted down into scrap.

The above was in the headlines of all the papers, all over the internet and on television. All the people bringing in the guns were doing so spontaneously of their own volition. They reported they were no longer as afraid and didn’t need automatic weapons. They still had shotguns for hunting.

Some Meanings for the dream:

  • On the surface a sweet vision.
  • Given the work I did of letting go of anger/fear/anxiety to immerse myself and my body in love – the love that was already there
  • And mix it with Light
  • It removed the fear and anger that had sequestered the Love and let it out and manifested as a dream of peace

I look at the dream as being a remedy to my thought-forms of exclusion and how my anger / fear and anxiety – as well as sadness / grief has contributed to a violent world (thoughtforms).

The dream, then was a manifestation of love healing angers, fears, anxiety and sadness in me and the turning in of the automatic weapons (with joy)  [weapons as random angry thoughts – perhaps] into a world of love and inclusiveness.



Being with Trees / Finding My Soul

low angle photography of conifer trees
Photo by Ricardo Esquivel on

The Trees are my friends who speak in a language (not English, nor a human language) that is too slow for us fast moving humans to perceive. It’s more than likely that we have all had opportunities and may have felt the presence of trees.

reconnecting with the sacred inside us through a personal relationship with a tree

The Japanese practice of “forest bathing” an immersion in the woods or forest is a cleansing experience. Certainly, I have noticed the peace that the forest affords. I have experienced it in myself and observed the outward manifestation in others in the forest. [Amongst others there is a stream of conversation that goes on and on. The talk abruptly stops as they have detoxed enough and notice the trees and are quiet much like the quiet of  a church service.]

Upon entering the forest or woods I automatically dip into the stream of consciousness that many carry with us whether that comes in the form of an inner dialogue, music and/or visual images. For me it’s mostly visual images sometimes with dialogue or narration that is the streaming junk of my daily life. Then it stops.

Wow, there are Trees Here!

When it does stop I notice my surroundings. Peace emerges and pervades my being as I stand near a copse of trees on the path in the woods. Sometimes when I stop moving and the stream of consciousnees ceases I feel the presence of large boulders, tall trees, a stream or brook, maybe a small waterfall. I feel washed clean by the powers of nature.

feeling of being grounded and connected to Earth; our shared home.

There they are – these standing ones whether they be Douglas firs, pines, redwoods, the deciduous aspens, the Japanese maples, and some oaks. They stand and wait for a human to make contact. Once contact is made and we allow ourselves – mostly our minds to slow to the patient levels of the trees we can begin the feel the peace trees exude. As I slow further I may merge my spirit with the spirit that the tree surrounds its body and we share a space together. In that space there are many non-verbal answers and somatic emotional states.  One is a feeling of being grounded and connected to Earth; our shared home.

peace becomes evident and the love slows me down into a being state

As I continue to open my senses of touch, directionality, groundedness, sight and heart-centered emotion I feel embraced and accepted by my friend and friends – tree(s). Deeper – even before “the hug” there can be a singular song of a tree or a choir of song by a family or community of trees. The peace becomes evident and the love slows me down into a being state. I may temporarily slip out of ego into being and experience my place amongst the animals and trees in that local community of nature in which I have chosen to be a member. Ah such sweetness…

we can begin to become a co-equal member of a forest

I have made a bond with the Redwood species; and deciduous Sycamores and Maples both individually and as species. In these bonds I have asked the trees to hold spiritual or plasma energy for me. This is a technique for inner – spiritual work. Often, we receive an epiphany or a “high” when engaging in spiritual work there is an automatic tendency in us as humans to blow off the energy by “ego-talking” to others about our experiences. The use of accumulators becomes important in spiritual / inner work as a way to deposit some of our energy in a tree or group of trees. Later we can make a “withdrawal” on the “interest accrued” as long as we don’t withdraw all the energy we have “deposited” in the tree. It’s one way to stay silent about on-going inner work without blowing it off by talking with others about it. Another way to stay silent in addition to asking a tree to deposit or give energy to him/her/it is to make an agreement with oneself to pay attention to our breath instead of talking (and blowing off energy).

Its so easy to forget that trees are beings too

In asking a tree to participate in acting as an “accumulator” we can begin to become a co-equal member of a forest and /or woodland community. We become members of an ecological local community and remember our roots to help cultivate an intimate relationship with Earth on a local level. Its so easy to forget that trees are beings too and treat them as objects for use in a soulless society of use and waste that’s disconnected from the sacred.

Here is the beginning of reconnecting with the sacred inside us through a personal relationship with a tree or a community of trees in the context of a larger local community in which each member plays a part.

What a wondrous world to uncover and honor the sacred.