Marketing “Nothing”


AUDIO FILE to listen while you read (with maybe one reading error):

So, it’s come to this?

I started a reading a piece based on a lecture based on book called, you got it: “Doing Nothing”

It had nothing to do with nothing. It was a ploy, a tease, a ruse, a lure to get me to read an article about the meanderings of a creative artist’s mind. I felt irritated – however the artist had some brilliant pieces of art she had photographed and a chuggingly slow river of tangential ideas, images and sensations. I suppose if one weren’t withdrawing from the intoxication of USA productivity and strung-out on random stuff it could seem like nothing relatively speaking. If it wasn’t titled “Doing Nothing” I might have liked it.

But I was anally attached to finding out how to do nothing, which, of course is an oxymoron. And I’m still attached aka stuck in the fucking past obsessing about not finding nothing. Go ahead – smile and feel embarrassed for me. And I’m being serious.

Let’s face it – no can do nothing at any time. But—

If we rule out autonomic functions such as blood pimping around in our arteries and veins or breathing then we have at least pretended we can make a space for maybe doing nothing.

Here’s the thing though – and I know I’m splitting hairs (very hard to do by the way) – as a nation of workers who eschew down-time and laziness the idea of doing nothing seems more Zen and cooler than acting lazy.

Maybe, the closest seemingly non-action state we can take is Za Zen Meditation. If it weren’t connected to the idea of mindfulness it would be an excellent cover for laziness. I mean sit and just “watch” all your thoughts and ideas et cetera coming and going. The one who watches is the mindfulness give-away so it’s not as close to doing nothing as I might imagine.

There’s lots of apps – one of which promotes “doing nothing” for a certain number of minutes – but in reality it’s listening to rain and sounds of nature as a mediation. Anyway, you get the idea.

The idea is that as workaholics who love to work, work, work – even if you love what you do and in your spare time you work and improve yourself – if you’re filling up all your time with stuff to do then you’re never celebrating laziness.  Here’s what I think – Americans love to be busy, even when they’re in downtime. So, when some American says:

“I’ve been doing nothing,”

it really means they are doing something that seems like nothing in comparison to a super busy lifestyle. They need re-grooving in the cognitive think department – unless they are attempting to market “nothing”.  Marketing “nothing” is got to be the perfect scam, because you can make up anything especially if its tangential, has no plan and seems like the positive side of laziness – though I don’t see how doing nothing is more positive than being lazy.

I say celebrate your laziness!  

You lazy ass.

I’m the President of the Lazy Ass Club

Being Is



Being work is difficult to describe because words are separate representations of reality in action or ego related finite mindsets.

Recently I had a powerful encounter with a woman that I had gone to HS with whose FB friendship ended.

My guides advised me to “Go Wide”- meaning go wide as possible to include all beings. With momentary releases of ego in minute fractions of nanoseconds _ was – is shared being with Planet Earth offering love, freedom, peace and consciousness. From ego I have no idea from my little self whether the feelings of Love and Freedom were accepted as offered.

Questions arose from what ego thought of as the creator (God?).

Questions from the Being of Creation arose with: How does Being act or move?

Answer: Being does not act or move. Being is urged into being.

Question: What urges Being?

A: Creation urges Being.

Q: What is Creation? Or, where is Creation?

A: Creation is in the Being of Everything and is everywhere even in anti-matter and dark matter. Creation is the urge that creates Being. Being includes without taking action.

After having experienced a wider perspective and the infinite inclusiveness of Being and having returned to ego I felt profound peace, love / consciousness and freedom that these words are a flimsy representation of the expansive ineffable multiverse in which Being includes. While including could be viewed as a receptive action from ego’s point of view – from Being it is not an action per se. And since it falls out of linear time into no-time there are no words for this Being State.

This wish is that everyone could experience this… Being inclusiveness. Word fail.

we did to ourselves


hotrod die cast model on board
Photo by Suzy Hazelwood on



I’m not a Consumer

I’m a free person!

“Yeah, right…”

Add sarcasm here.


This is a simple logic argument with two premises where healthcare and healthcare insurance went from being a service to being a predatory profit high growth business.

Context is required here.

“Greed is good.”

We cannot take healthcare as a service and healthcare insurance out of the context of an insanely profit driven system that puts the health and well-being of 100% of humans’ health at risk. And it isn’t just healthcare its – well everything is at risk. It’s the snake that eats its own tail. And we are all to blame.

In the Oliver Stone film Wall Street, the character Gordon Gekko said “Greed is good.” Stone was tapping into the zeitgeist of America and the origins of predatory capitalism that was building towards the insanity that is now – worldwide.

How it has happened – here are some factors involved (but not all):

  • World-Wide Corporate Power exploded with deregulation under President Reagan.
  • Representative Governments sell-out to Corporate Power
  • The USA Republicans became the tools of Corporate Power under the free-enterprise system
  • The Democrats followed the Republican sell-out model beginning with Bill Clinton’s second term as President
  • The Republicans have been plotting to end the Democratic control of the Country by whatever means necessary – enter Trump the ultimate tool of Corporate Power and corruption
  • The Baby-Boomers – for the most part dropped out of politics for the New Age movement or Spiritual Development at the expensive of political activism for the most part. Other Boomers became millionaires and even billionaires while others just went along with the status quo (“Our leaders will take care of us,” attitude because we elected them and were under the illusion that they represent the people.) Or lost faith in government after Nixon and Watergate. Subsequent generations have just gone along with “the status quo”.


What has been happening and where the Climate aka World-Wide Health Crisis originated (but not all):

  • Free-market capitalism will police itself. Well, only in terms of maximizing profits in the short term. Pollution? What’s that?
  • The EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) was signed into being by Nixon but was never given real power to effectively stop polluters from polluting.
  • And we – former citizens – made into consumers by the facts of capitalism in its extreme continued passively to accept polluting technologies.
  • No one with maybe one exception has raised the issue of what is a healthy planet – Patch Adams and how the health or non-health of the planet has contributed to human beings’ health.
  • Why healthcare is a human right? Corporations and the citizens / consumers have made blind choices to the worship of money, profit and greed to an increasing toxic world for the sake of increasing comforts and convenience
  • Consumer passivity – who has time for activism when you’re working two jobs and so is your partner to provide for your family. (All part of the oppressive / suppressive oligarchical design aka keep the consumer in-line.)
  • And the upcoming mass extinction event coming to a multiplex near you or maybe too close to you.



The two premises are:

  1. Healthcare Industry is a gambling industry based on the odds that you will not fall ill. Their job is not to pay for your claim regarding your illness if at all possible. Their primary aim is making money, their secondary aim is paying for your partial healthcare costs.
  2. Health does not occur in a vacuum. It’s related to an environmentally balanced world. A planet that receives toxic substances grows increasing unbalanced until its systems require balance. If a number of humans or all the humans are eliminated the planet will seek to rebalance her/him/itself. Thus, the upcoming mass extinction event.


Healthcare as a human right. Water belongs to the people. A Bill of Rights for the Planet. These are antithetical to the world-wide corporate cabal and needed for the survival of the human species on the planet.

Is it too late? Maybe or maybe not. We’ll never know unless we go for it.

When is it ever too late to relieve suffering?

Never is my answer.

All the systems of modern life are synergistically related to human healthcare, the health (toxicity) of the planet etc. income inequality, substandard justice, the USA continually at war, Machiavellian Politics and the use of the scapegoat to name a few. At time where worldwide cooperation is needed to provide community solutions to the Climate Crisis the fomented atmosphere of the US of A is every person for themselves – and blame problems on non-white groups mainly immigrants, LGBTQ, and religious groups such as Muslims. This mentality has infected every element of our culture. Fear, anger, rage and sometimes violence has been promulgated to keep people divided and oppressed. The corporate has secretly promoted an “us versus them” to keep government from doing anything that would assist her citizens.

By the way the internet aka Social Media provides the illusion of immediate solutions the same way people solved all the problems of the world in coffeehouses by just talking about it. So many of us go ballistic when politics doesn’t keep pace with what we want. We’ve been lured into an either / or dynamic of seemingly quick change. A change in politics takes a long time, although when our money is effected voting patterns foster seeming changes.





Suggestions for further reading

timelapse photo of trees with background of star
Photo by Free Nature Stock on

I am pleased to announce that my new book is nearly ready to go to my editor after a second draft. (I began the first draft in October 2019 and finished it in February of 2020.)

The new book is a memoir based on my rather strange life and evolution as a healer. Even though it is a non-fiction account of the salient points in my life of evolving consciousness and struggle in life’s trenches it reads in a stranger than fiction manner.

There will be a print book with a small number of photographs scattered in the text. There will be an e-book (following the print book very closely) with links and the possibility of an audio book too. Formatted – it is slightly over 200 pages.

Suggestions for further readings from other works of fiction and non-fiction as well as selections from this blog will be included fairly soon.


The works of Ken Wilber

Entering The Circle by Olga Kharatidi, Psychiatrist – entering the invisible world of Belldovia aka Shambhalla

Articles from my blog: Psychesweather:

The-Locus-Of-Consciousness does consciousness originate in the brain or elsewhere.






“The Green Man of Destiny”

a little Photoshop magic was done to reveal the full title

This fantasy novel, for adults, is the hero’s journey to find the Green Man and bring him back to the desert to restore the ancient trees that were once there.

The Green Man in Druid Lore is a man with green skin who heals plants and trees – he is the go-between between humans and the elemental world of devas, elves, fairies, and Pan. While writing the book had its own life of synchronicity that could be called magical it was also partially channeled. For instance, I was writing long-hand where the main character, Gren raises the sword of power and calls out to Spirit – demanding he be shown the way to the Green Man. Lightning strikes the sword and…  As soon as I wrote “Lightning -” lightning struck in the distance followed by thunder a second later.  It’s a grand adventure story about self-discovery, dealing with conflict, addictions and the nature of power.

It takes place in three parts.

Part One: The Desert (part two: Into the Forest, part three: After The Fall)

Chapter One Home is excerpted below:

page 3:


page 4:


page 5:



The book is on sale marked way down from $16.99. If you’re interested contact me:

F. K. Ontario at

for more information



In times of High Stress aka the Pandemic: A Quick No-Think Grounding Method

photo of woman standing near trees
Photo by Alana Sousa on

It’s easy to become spaced-out under high stress situations or forgetting to eat and drink H2O. On the low end we may be missing our exit on the interstate or getting lost in thought when we’re late for a meeting. The more our schedule becomes undefined, scattered, disorganized due to stress and worry the greater the chance of dissociation or feeling spaced-out.

And audio recording of the instructions for the written instructions for the quick grounding that may help you relax and take the edge off of your anxiety:

Here’s a quick way to get grounded and centered in your body:

  1. Go into your kitchen or a place where there is a firm counter-top with a “lip” at about waist-level (the countertop or desk must be close to waist level and firmly anchored to the floor).
  2. Make a mental note of how your body is feeling right now.
  3. Stand facing the counter-top (about a foot to six inches away from the edge).
  4. Bend your elbows at your waist and put your finger-tips underneath the lip of the counter-top or below the molding.
  5. Bend your knees slightly and balance your weight between your left and right feet.
  6. Focus your attention on your feet as you gently pull up with your finger-tips under the counter-top.
  7. Hold for a moment or two (count one thousand-one, one thousand-two) and Stop.


Do you notice the isometric tension in your body? Or do you feel the subtle difference in your body? Is the spaced out feeling gone? Do you feel your physical presence? Are you grounded?

If yes – you have succeeded.

If no – repeat x1 or x2

A complete systems relaxation meditation may be useful: A_Relaxation_Meditation

If not go to the relaxation meditation link above and click on it with audio files.



Heart-Felt Contact and Unity


In these days of social distancing feeling close to others, loved ones, family, extended family and friends is heart-wrenchingly difficult.

Allow a resonance of feeling to arise in your heart.

The next best experience of physical touch is heart to heart contact which can be done over great distances. Some of you may already know this. Here are a few suggestions and guidelines –


The Means

This can be a heart to heart contact – or making space for your loved ones – family, friends, marriage partner, lover – literally imagine a space next to you on the couch, chair, or bed and inviting their emotional presence to be near you. It helps to visualize how they appear to you.

And / or you can use the technology of phones, FaceTime, Skype or Zoom.

The heart is the source of emotion. There are neurons in the heart similar to the ones in our brains. Our cognitive processes (the neocortex) interpret, delineate and name emotions that we feel – from the heart. Our neocortex also screens love through opinions, beliefs and judgments to interpret love into a context that our egos can become attached to such as romantic love; love in a long-term relationship or marriage; or a parent’s love of a child for example. The love that is beyond ego is the resonance you may feel in your heart as you practice the “I-am”

Love is the underpinning of all emotions.

The purpose of the “I-Am” exercise is to activate and affirm our emotional presence.

One of my teachers, Bhante, lends his presence near to me since he left his body at 110. He taught meditation and the unwrapping of illusion to help reveal our Being within.

Being is love. Being does nothing. Being is.

Once ego is dropped, if for only a moment Being can be realized and enlightenment begins. Love that is Being emerges and is all life everywhere.


Practicing the “I-Am”

The technique

Or Listen to the audio file:

Find a chair, turn off or mute your phone for the next ten to fifteen minutes or so. Sit; leave your eyes open and pick a spot to look at on the floor. Later as you get the hang of it, you can do the I-Am anywhere without anyone noticing.

Breath-in focusing your attention on your sternum, the place between your pecs or your breasts and say “I” silently to yourself.

As you get to the top of your inhalation hold your breath a nano-second, or two.

As you exhale, still keeping your attention at your sternum, say silently to your-self “Am” on the out breath.

Repeat this for 7 to 12 times.

You may notice a resonance or a special sensual feeling developing there.  Eventually you can drop holding your pause in breath at the top and do continuous “I-Am”s.

Make the Phone Call – the Skype – FaceTime – or Zoom contact as you notice the resonance or special feeling.

Listen and respond with your “I-Am” exercise or the resonance of your heart. You don’t have to continue to do the “I-Am” constantly throughout your audio and / or video contact, just when you remember and / or are listening.

Listen deeply with a softening heart.

Don’t offer advice.

Just be a witness to their sadness, loneliness, heartbreak, worry, fears, anxiety or their joy, fun, bliss, exuberance and / or love.

You’ll feel some of or all of those feelings too.

By merely witnessing your friend’s and/or loved-one’s emotions of course you’ll feel it in yourself and by being there for them you’ll act as vent to help release their negative feelings and celebrate the positive ones and yours in that moment.

After you get the hang of it you can teach the “I-Am” to your friends, relatives and/or loved-ones. In the meantime, if appropriate ask if they need help. Offer help if you can and if you want – don’t do it from obligation or the expectation of reciprocity.

The resonance or special feeling created at your sternum can enhance an emotional connection and remind us that we can connect through the love we feel in our hearts for one another.

In 1967 at age 15 I had this experience:

I stood surrounded by the sand in the luxurious quiet and breathed in relief under a hot sun.

A feeling spread over me:

Time seemed to stop. I was agog in wonder; my hands went to either side of my open mouth. When I let go of my arms they gracefully fell through woven layers of white light to my sides. I was surrounded by this light so refined, comforting and beautiful – I was filled with bliss. All the people of the earth were woven into this light so that distance had melted by love or light. We were all in a sea of light close and far simultaneously.

Words paled. 



And in 2003:

I used to make space for my physically absent lover on the bench seat of my truck when I would drive home from work.  We felt each other side by side when I did this.

The bond of our love grew stronger as a result.

If your having trouble with the “I-Am” you may be trying too hard, or you may need to get grounded first.  Try a A_Grounding_Practice








A Peace Practice

male gymnast in spacious sports hall
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on

This practice is designed to find a middle way within. In other words, I find that helps to create a place between acting out anger or rage and running away – fear. Anger when expressed effectively does not become toxic (see Men-Anger-and-Rage-in-the-Toxic-Patriarchy).

The Peace Practice can calm us for a more compassionate thoughtful response to emerge.

I was taught this practice or exercise as a way to relieve the desire to light a cigarette. The practice only worked if I did not pick-up a cigarette in my hand. Once the cigarette was between my fingers it went straight to the mouth and was the lit – too late. The technique was simple enough that I began to incorporate it into the work I was already engaged in – into developing an impartial compassionate witness within.

I expanded the technique to help cultivate a place of peace within myself. This exercise can be done anywhere. To begin for the first time, I recommend starting by sitting. To identify where you’ll be sending your attention bring one hand to the back of your neck. Using your fingers trace up the neck to where your spine meets your skull. There is a bump there and a space between your vertebrae. That’s the spot. You can remove your hand and place them in a comfortable position at or near your waist or on your knees.

Sit quietly and put your attention on the spot. Visualize your in breath going to that spot. Hold it there for the briefest of moments and exhale (see photo below).  That is the Peace Practice or exercise.

approximate place of where spine meets skull

The place of attention in the Peace Practice is in the brain stem where the medulla is located and is part of the flight or fight response. Anti-depressants such as Paxil – for impulse-control-related depressive moods interrupts the flight or fight response in the same area of the brain.

The time the flight or fight response is essential in situations where immediate danger is immanent. In modern civilization this function is still expressed and is often an inappropriate maladaptive response within complex social behaviors.

The Peace Practice can calm us to allow for a more compassionate thoughtful response to emerge. Like any practice the Peace Practice takes time to develop for better effectiveness.


Musing over a past love

heart shaped candle
Photo by Pixabay on
A poem -

Love Neat, Straight Up and No Chaser


Terse, efficient, neat

Your style with me.


It’s love up front

Gentle, swift, neat

Down the shot

Take the blow


Ah but its good for me

Knowing I stand here

And not over there

Or floating high

Up in clouds

On the nine.


Love from you

With no chaser,

Straight up:

The good, the bad and

Held in love


One for the other

Love straight up.



F.K. Ontario

© September 2009

Smoking – ah hem – cigarettes

black and white portrait person smoker
Photo by omar alnahi on

Nobody wants to really quit smoking except maybe the non-smokers around you.

In fact, nobody wants to quit anything really. We hate loss is why we don’t want to quit. It took me 8 tries to quit smoking to realize that trying was just that: trying.

In the words of Yoda:

“There is no ‘try’. There is ‘do’ or do-not’.”

I started smoking because my girl friend, Tessa, from the college days; smoked. But it took more pressure from her. She smoked sometimes after we made-love and while she was studying at home. I had my own place but I spent a lot of time at her place a block away.

We were in a study group for a post graduate course given at the Boston VA Hospital on Brain Trauma and Injury. The final exam was the only determining factor for the grade. Due to the flu I missed all the lectures on Aphasia. Besides Tessa, everyone else in our small study group smoked. So I started. I picked up one of her smokes and lit-up. I liked it and I was hooked.

Two weeks later I tried to quit after having gone from filtered to non-filtered cigs. I did succeed in quitting for two weeks until I ran into a friend –  a smoker.

I began smoking in ’76 and stopped in 1983 – seven years. It was on again off again.

In the ’81 attempt it was initially freeing. I cleaned large and small bathrooms at an alternate school I attended at that time to replace the hand to mouth habit. About 6 months of smoke detox suppressed frustration and rage reared-up and were loosed on anyone nearby. It was overwhelmingly, which then drove me back to smoking so I could dampen down the intensity.

So, the 9th time around I rewarded myself with breathing cleaner air instead of filling my lungs with smoke. I weaned myself off slowly. I first stopped smoking in my car and then cleaned it – all that brown and yellowish gross film on everything. Next I stopped smoking in my apartment and went down into the back alley. You get the idea. Each time I desired – craved a cigarette – aka cancer stick I would remind myself that I was replacing smoking with breathing cleaner air (and do the peace exercise).

Filling my lungs with smoke whether marijuana or tobacco interfered with emotional cognition and yes — contact with “spiritual energy”. Maybe that’s too woo-woo – that spiritual stuff. I was able to let go of the frustrations and the rage just enough to get by and manage the outburst.  But I was into being a detective to find out where the rage was originating.

And then I was free of it well except for marijuana smoking. That habit lingered until the end of September of 1985 with a two year vow to breathe cleaner air and not smoke MJ. And it worked. However on the first day after the two-year vow ended someone offered me a joint. So I made a 3-year vow. Same thing happened again and I made a 5-year vow. After the 5-year vow ran out I lost the desire to get high.