Overcoming Advertising



Underlying –Whims, Goals and Aims ———–An Introduction to Higher Consciousness Part One

Since we have egos we are awash in a sea of whims (sounds like little mythic creatures, doesn’t it?). Whims are the driving force behind advertising, capitalism, money and inequality. There are no escaping whims. The only hope is recognizing whims as they arise and being at choice.

Whims then are much like the pursuit of happiness.

Whims arise from curiosity and can come from a creative urge within us. The arising of whims within us may not come from ego but when we pursue a whim then trouble may ensue because ego is most often the pursuant. Whims then are much like the pursuit of happiness or just the pursuit of most anything.

The formula of ego, whims, most monetary systems and inequality is a finite formula in a zero sum game resulting in diminishing returns.

When we engage in pursuit we assume a lack within. We separate ourselves from our innate happiness or our curiosity in order to find it. This seems counter intuitive. This is the way of ego and a linear space-time reality. Our language and ego – intertwined reflects a separation of the self from a desire for something. Ego, whims, capitalism and money produces gaps between a beginning coming from nothing – initiating a step,  a middle – an action and an end achieving something. The formula of ego, whims, most monetary systems and inequality is a finite formula in a zero sum game resulting in diminishing returns. [In mathematical theory a zero-sum game is always competitive and results in winners and losers – see https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zero-sum_game] This kind of finite system is a breeding ground for greed, possessiveness, fear / paranoia, oppression, isolationism and ultimately an apocalyptic ending of humanity.

leads to the ultimate ending – the apocalypse.

The a priori supposition of this finite zero-sum game base does not allow for the sacredness of being. All the finite players become obsessed with having more and as a result of the diminishing return emotions based on an infinite non-zero sum game such as love, empathy, compassion are removed so the focus on more grows more intense. Addictive behaviors to satisfy the charge in winning ultimately fail due to diminishing returns. The people driven by this model cease to recognize being, treat others and themselves as things including the bounty of Earth and Earth as being. Using people and resources in this manner leads to the ultimate ending – the apocalypse.

On the other end of the spectrum aims arise from the infinite and are couched in systems of cooperation and interdependence.

An infinite non-zero sum game is about the win/win and is based on interdependence with regard to increasingly complex societal systems. Survival of the human species on Earth is an infinite non-zero sum game because humans and all biological and non-biological beings are sacred and must cooperate in order to survive. Put in another way this is a system of Love connecting and including all beings in a sacred manner.

Returning to whims in the context of capitalism we can see that the variety of instruments of this money making system are in the business of generating conditions for whims to foment in buying frenzies. Advertising under psychographics or strategies to target consumers based on data mining for lifestyle, personality, attitudes, beliefs etc.

Aims belong to the infinite.

On the other end of the spectrum aims arise from the infinite and are couched in systems of cooperation and interdependence. An aim has no beginning and no end. Aims belong to the infinite. An aim that continually renews me and helps align me to the path of the divine that flows within me is: to relieve suffering. I could work towards this aim for the rest of my life and never be finished.

Being is that which is. Being transcends space and time.

Aims arise from being. What is being? Philosophers and mystics have grappled with defining and/or describing being. Being is that which is. Being transcends space and time. Words, because they arise from a linear time-space reality systems cannot describe the depth, breath and the divinity of being. Once we attempt to solve a mystery we bring it out of the realm of the unknowable and destroy its essence. Being is analogous to mystery.

surrendering into the divine

Discovering being is about surrendering into the divine, releasing ego if only for a moment and embracing a wider higher consciousness. There are no pat formulas or teachings that can assist the student in discovering being.

Goals are the bridges between aims and whims. Goals have beginnings, middles and ends. They can arise from the infinite or the finite. Aims can be expressed in goals, but goals cannot be adequately expressed in aims. Whims tickle the edges of goals.

Part of the problem with whims and advertising is the appeal to the ego in a finite mindset. A well-developed being sees advertising as a finite whim based game. Being can assist us in noticing whim as a momentary desire of ego for a temporary drug-high of fleeting happiness and remind ego of the lasting happiness within.

The real work of letting go of attachment to the temporary or fleeting desires of ego begins. Oppositional thinking and action with regard to advertising produced whims can help us resist corporations that use psychographics to sell stuff to us. For instance if you see an ad on the internet that sparks your interest in the moment – ignore it. Most likely we forget about the spark. Advertising repeats the tease in an effort to get you to click on the link. Again, ignore it and wait. Does the tease persist?

If the tease persists ask yourself:

  • How does following this whim support my aim? If it does not leave it behind – release the attachment.
  • Is the whim a distraction that detracts from my long-term or immediate purpose? If so, release it.
  • Where does the whim exist on my list of priorities? Low, middle or high? If its high, use a pen or pencil to write it down. Don’t pursue it immediately. Decide on a time to look or investigate the product, service or experience. If its middle or low let it go and move on.


If you don’t know what your purpose is then meditation could assist you in uncovering it within yourself and this takes time. If meditation is not your thing, explore a book, schedule a session with an astrologer, a metaphysical advisor or a shaman to assist you in finding your purpose. Or if that’s not appealing look into your past, your childhood and see what inspired you as a child, as an adolescent etc.

If you know your purpose you can choose to surrender to it or allow other interests to direct you. Or let whim tickle you down the road. Whim could be wasting your time, but maybe you will decide that’s okay.

discovering my purpose and surrendering into it.

Just know that when you impulsively click on some thing or other the data miners come along and start developing a profile on you to sell you stuff. Most browsers collect data – Chrome being notorious for it. Apple announced it would not be data mining on its last major re-boot of its Safari browser.

I’m not anywhere close to an expert on this subject. Check out Wired Magazine for more info on this subject and possible Mozilla Foundation whose makes the Firefox browser.

When I was younger I was on fire to find “the Truth” and this evolved into finding “my truth” which lead to discovering my purpose and surrendering into it. I worked hard and surrendered into spaces of grace where I was blessed by the divine.

When people write about the divine or God or the Creator they separate this force or urge from themselves. My experience of the divine is a force that transcends ego and yet is inseparable from me, from my being. But as soon as I try to claim it – the “I”   – my ego destroys that lightness of being that connects me from the higher expression of myself.

My most favorite non-fiction book of all time – about creativity, play and boundless possibilities transcending small minded greediness is James Carse’s Finite and Infinite Games.

Here in PDF:



breaking the Rules

Every family makes rules. Some of these rules are well stated, some are not and both represent good values and living for the most part.


For as many stated rules and values there are many more meta-rules (unspoken rules) that often contradict each other and are passed on generationally. Some of the inter-generational rules may blend with regional rules.

be invisible

When I was 21 years old my Aunt passed away. She was in her 40s. I went to my bedroom in my childhood home and cried for twenty minutes. When I emerged to be with my stone-faced parents watching television they treated me like a weirdo (all unspoken).

For more on the New England mindset: https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2017/03/07/exploring-perception-a-new-england-mindset/

In 1990 I changed part of my name to rid myself of a suffix – junior. I had considered the change for ten years but had decided against it because I knew my father’s feeling would be hurt and discounted my feelings. When I put myself in the equation I broke a big rule.

My father’s influence in my life was both positive and negative mixed together. Sometimes it was possible to disconnect one from the other and sometimes not. In retrospect I see how my fears of punishment from my father were transferred onto the authority of the county courts and to a lesser degree the DMV.

It was my own fear of my father’s (wrath) authority

In November of 2017 I broke another family meta-rule, which states roughly: work hard, don’t draw attention to your self and be invisible in the world at large. I ordered a “specialty license plate” or more commonly known as a vanity plate – the 1960 Legacy plate with dark brown background and yellow lettering. It took nearly ten months to decide to order one. Feelings began to arise that I was doing something wrong, that I would be punished for drawing attention to myself.

It was my own fear of my father’s (wrath) authority – even though he passed on my 55th birthday in 2006 that helped create the following events:

On the DMV website they wrote that it would be a maximum of 12 weeks before a Vanity plate could be in my possession. When those 12 weeks passed I called the DMV and found it was a 3 to 4 month wait.

I received a notice that the plate had arrived at the designated DMV office so I made an appointment on-line. A few days later I received a summons to jury duty. Jury duty fell in the same week as my appointment. Would I have to reschedule my DMV appointment, would there be enough time? The info I received from the DMV indicated that I would have to pick-up my plate within 30 days or I would not get it. A good friend reminded me that I was complaining and that I could stand in line like everybody else.

I regressed into a super anxious sixteen year old rebelling…

I had to inform my clients with appointments for the week of March 12th through the 16th that I had to be on-call for jury duty. Except for one emergency appointment all other appointments were cancelled or re-scheduled.

I was directed to call the info line each evening after 5 pm to find out whether I would be called in for jury duty on the following day. I called Sunday evening for Monday – no jury duty. I called Monday evening for Tuesday – no jury duty. I spoke to a person Tuesday afternoon who said that my number was high and it was likely I wouldn’t be called – so I would be off the hook by Thursday evening. I called Tuesday evening for Wednesday – no jury duty.

…I became my father and went into authority – lording it over another.

Wednesday I kept my DMV appointment and I did stand in-line until I saw a sign that read: “appointments this line only” and went into a different line – a shorter line – got a number – waited more and was able to finish my DMV business in an hour and get my plates.

I had lessons to be learned. I learned them the hard way.

I called Wednesday evening for Thursday. – no jury duty. I called Thursday evening for Friday – and was told to call back on Friday between 11:15 am and noon for “reporting instructions”. I felt my chain was being yanked at that point. I called Friday during the appointed time – and I was finally freed from jury duty. It wasn’t just the waiting it was the anxiety of dealing with two government agencies (authority figures aka my arbitrary father) that triggered crazy emotions in me. I regressed into a super anxious sixteen year old rebelling against authority and not winning. I feel sad for that sixteen year-old kid.

Being visible is a strange feeling

It didn’t stop there. The following week I became my father and went into authority – lording it over another. That incident ended in tragedy to which I bear my part in the interaction. And I had brought it on myself. I had lessons to be learned. I learned them the hard way.

As a automobile driver I am fairly responsible, either driving responsibly or going with the flow. Its difficult and dangerous being around drivers who are behaving irresponsibly with their cars and I usually move into a defensive posture with high awareness. Driving with the new plate I picked up on others judgments and also emotions of curiosity too. I checked myself for becoming arrogant while driving because I was “entitled” with my vanity plate and let go. Being visible is a strange feeling.

I am still working with my emotions around being visible with the new plate. It’s a process

The Demi-Date or Half (Shadow) Birthdate

FullNewMoonDemi-Day is your Half-Birthdate (Shadow Birthdate).

Add six months to your birthdate and Eureka –your Demi-Day. Demi means half in French. Demi Day is literally half-day and in this context Demi Day is Half-Birthday. I’ve been using it for years to assist those in celebrating the golden and dark shadows as a way to acknowledge “the other”. And our Demi-Days or Demi-Dates are good days to celebrate, have a party or go out to dinner while honoring the shadow.

My father was a diatriber with a vengeance and had to be right.

We’d like to think that we include all others in our lives, but really that’s impossible other than in a divine metaphysical manner. There are toxic others that we eliminate from our daily presence or “unfriend” on Facebook. Then we may have friends that have characteristics that we don’t like, find irritating, grating and/or annoying at times.

At one point in my life I was massively irritated around those that talked non-stop until I realized that I did this also, from time to time – also known as pontificating or the dreaded diatribe. My father was a diatriber with a vengeance and had to be right. When met with opposition after his diatribe (of righteousness) he would threaten or become combatively violent.

two gunslingers in a draw a shoot out in the street

A great assist in my understanding of the demi-day has been my study of astrology. People are often satisfied with a reading of the Natal (Birth) Chart – “Okay that’s who I am, wow,” or “I knew that.” As readers you probably know your Sun Sign. The sign opposite your Sun Sign is 6 months away. If your Sun Sign is Leo then your opposite is Aquarius and so on:


Taurus —————– Scorpio

Gemini —————- Sagittarius

Cancer —————- Capricorn

Leo ——————– Aquarius

Virgo —————– Pisces

Libra —————– Aries

Each opposite sign could be your golden shadow – all that your project on the other that is good and wonderful; or your dark shadow where the opposite sign becomes that which you shun because it represents all that is darkness and subterfuge. Yet opposites attract holds meaning. In astrological talk to many hard angles in relationship with the other (as in romance, marriage, business etc. – opposites, squares, inconjuncts (also called quincunxes) and sometimes conjuncts can mean the destruction of that relationship. Softer or more harmonious angles bring in the glue that binds relationships together (trines, sextiles and sometimes conjuncts).

Balancing oppositions may require a center, a neutral place within…

Opposites between planets in our own charts are the most difficult to deal with and if you reading this it means that you’re managing it. But what are opposites? The dictionary gives these choices: “diametrically different, an antagonistic position, contrary to one another or to a thing specified” * Another way of looking at the oppositional angle a 180 degree angle in Astrology is through enemies engaged in battle, lawyers arguing a court case or two gunslingers in a draw a shoot out in the street. The opposition is the most difficult to deal with both outside ourselves and in internal struggle. Balancing oppositions may require a center, a neutral place within and/or a witness self.

A Demi-Date Astrology Reading

Diplomats search for common ground between opposing parties when the energy for fighting and warring becomes less. The common ground could be a midpoint between the two views. In astrology this is the angle called a square – a 90-degree angle. This is still a conflict and yet it is a conflict that seeks continual resolution – a growth angle.

I am developing a Demi-Date Astrology reading to understand your shadow and help you develop a way to work with it through celebration and spiritual growth.

The and place of your birth determines your Ascendant or Rising Sign and then determines your house placement and what planets are in each house. The first house is the house of the self. The opposite house – the seventh house is the house of “the other” or the not self. This is another “place” of looking at an exploring shadow. And finally one could look at your Shadow-Return – the place the Sun returns to each year that is opposite your natal sun.

In the meantime find someone that you find irritating and hang with them and celebrate your annoying differences just for fun. Party on…

A Daily Plan

  1. images
  2. The Flush: a ten to fifteen minute rant on Trump, make it funny if possible
  3. Data: gather data on FLIPPING CONGRESS AND THE NATION, PLUS legislation to support or oppose.
  5. ACTION PART ONE: look at legislation to oppose and / or support make 3 phone calls and send emails – 1 member of House of Reps and 2 Senators preferably in your state to start.
  7. ACTION PART TWO: look at budget and who and how much to contribute to candidates (progressive and/or Dems guys*) opposed to GOP agenda and contribute
  9. ACTION PART THREE: make report on social media


* guys – womens, mens, androgynous-es, transgenders, gays, lesbians, genderqueers, asexuals and everybody else.

PS This is not about real soup you eat or slurp. This is about the soup we’re in. Hope that clears things up. Tuff if it doesn’t.

The 6 year old explanation of why Democracy Sucks



BIG MONEY                                                       VERSUS                                   BEING BROKE

How it use to be:

One group said let’s save money, balance our checkbook, don’t owe money or pay interest and everybody being equal works hard and gets what they want. After that the common good gets addressed.

Another group says let’s take care of the common good first since not everybody is equal in practice, so we have to make rules to make things fair. People who have so much money they can’t begin to spend it all need to pay more into the common good treasure chest to make things better for everyone including themselves. When this happens everybody gets richer.

How it is now:

One group says there are slackers created by the other group giving stuff away for free. But let’s save money, balance our checkbook, don’t owe money or pay interest, but if we have to pay interest let’s make a ton of money from it at the expense of the slackers to balance everything out and everybody being equal works hard and gets what they want.  Our ideas of the common good are different from theirs. The other group is anti-American so they should be punished.

Another group says let’s take care of the common good first since not everybody is equal in practice so we have to make rules to things fair. People who have so much money they can’t begin to spend it need to pay more into the common good treasure chest to make things better for everyone including themselves. When this happens everybody gets richer. We have to be fair to the other group that makes us look bad because we ARE fair. And we don’t need to fight the other group in a down and dirty way because we’re better than that.

Each group used to serve all American People regardless of the amount of money they made. Now each group sold their souls to BIG MONEY so they pretend to support all Americans when they are not doing this. So nothing gets done for regular shmoes. Only “the right people” and Corporations and their BIG MONEY are rewarded. Everyone else is shafted.

a very short story about Smartphones


I see people everywhere on their smartphones.

Then poof –no more.


Are aliens beaming them up?

— No.


Are they being eaten by they’re own addictiveness?



Are they being scammed out of existence?

Maybe – well No.


Are they being zapped into an AI Virtual Reality?



And to make things worse –it’s a big disappointment because its not paradise, nope. It’s just like here. And you thought you were going to be in a Trump Free World.


My story of the movies…


newscopythe flow of the stuff in my head…

About the age of 15 or 16 my best friend Paul D. and I got together to make a movie. We wrote a script based on our goofy sense of humor and our favorite movies of Sean Connery as 007. Our character was James Notch 008 and ½ based on the Notch Store on the west side of Cheshire with a 67 page script maybe (it was a long time ago). It was a movie that never got made.


“Everybody knows they only make movies in Hollywood,”

classmates told us.


Coincidentally the Notch Store was the backdrop for the final scene in a film directed by Paul Newman called Rachel, Rachel in 1968 and was nominated for 4 Oscars including Best Picture (it didn’t win any Oscars).

I threw myself on the floor and rolled around. I moaned, I whined until she (my mom) agreed.

The next film that Paul and I filmed didn’t have a script. It was just visual ideas I had that I thought would look good strung together. It was a silent color film shot on a Double 8mm film made with a wind-up camera with three twists lenses and had variable shooting speeds. Back in the days of film – sound films were shot at 24 frames per second and silent films at 18 frames per second. Shoot at slower speeds and everyone would speed up. Shoot at faster speeds and slow-motion happens.

I convinced a girl down the street who was a year older than me to be in the film. She was the good guy with a white cowboy hat. I shot that first scene at sunset. The camera was on the ground, which meant I was on the ground too. She ran towards the camera hat on and she brandished the gun (an unloaded Luger my Father had as a souvenir from WWII) and jumped over me. She refused to be in the film after that. I even offered to pay her, but she said no. It was okay to use that footage she told me, mainly because she was in silhouette and no one could see her face.

After that I pleaded with my mom to be in the movie. I threw myself on the floor and rolled around. I moaned, I whined until she agreed. And she did. Phil B my best friend (the trio of nerdy guys – me, Paul and Phil) was the villain, though he looked like an innocent kid.

The Fordham’s Young Filmmakers Festival of 1968 in NYC

It was called: The Chase and it was awful. It was about 40 minutes too long. There were two special effects. My mom shoots at Phil and his black beret whips off his head. I used a fishing pole with some line. We shot all the scenes with my mom with slow film speeds so she looked like a lone Keystone Cop running in long shots that were way too long. And there was a car chase with one long POV (point of view) shot from the car, very boring.

The dying scenes were hilarious because my mom and Phil hammed it up.

Our art teacher suggested we send it to the Fordham’s Young Filmmakers Festival in NYC. We did and the only good thing about the movie was our entry into the festival. It was in 1968 in the winter during the first garbage strike. John Lindsay was major.

I learned so much about films and Paul and I had a good time – away from parents for a whole weekend. We saw a pre-screening of The Planet of The Apes with Charlton Heston.

When I returned I began studying film – Ingmar Bergman, Truffaut, Godard and American Film. I started a film club of watching great films and making small films, though we never got around to watching the great films.

I made one successful short film of 3 minutes made via pixilation or 3D animation (now CGI would be used). It was called King Chair. It made a $45 profit and was shown all over the world. When I asked my mom to be in subsequent movies she agreed if I was never to show her face.

I was thinking about going to go to New York University Film School and was toying with schools focusing on Creative Writing but my Guidance Counselor didn’t have the bravery to tell me that my SAT scores abysmally low. She brought me to the lounge of the other Guidance Counselors for their support in telling me. (Who was supporting me?). They basically said I was too stupid to get a BA and should settle for a BFA in film. I was angry and decided to let go of film school for a BA in English.

Writing pervaded my life.

I got side-tracked into psychology and ended up graduating from one of the top 20 universities in the US with a 3.2 cumulative average. I guess that proved I wasn’t stupid. I got a BA in Psychology with 2 Minors – one in English Literature and the other in Philosophy.

Writing pervaded my life. I tried going back into film in the mid to late 80s. I met Robert Altman who gave me an obscure window into his next film but I was too stupid to get it. (Maybe the guidance counselors were right – I was “too stupid”). His next film was The Player.

I’m still writing and doing my other work that I had surrendered into – as a healer. Being a healer/shaman/astrologer is something I have been doing formally since 1990. I have a fantasy novel that is being readied for publication – The Quest for The Green Man and I have been working on a series of 9 science-fiction novels.

Throughout it all I love stories and I love making-up and writing stories. I only wish I could transfer the images I see in my head to the reader’s head or the film goer, but I love the texture and wobble of words to send the images.


Nine Life Shaping Events and…

earth grids1loveflameEternity-copy2


My early life as a child and later as a teenager was punctuated by extraordinary events that helped shape all subsequent experiences.

Before I attended kindergarten I was eager to learn spelling, which included writing out my name. In the mid 1950s my parents did not send me to nursery school. Between birth and five years old my parents and younger sister and I lived in a second floor apartment that had once been part of an attic in one big house.

At age four I was lying in bed one night watching the floaters in the film of my eyes dart across the night-light lit ceiling of my bedroom. I believed the floaters were stars and I was trying to catch one of them. As soon as I thought I had one it would dart away. It was a futile activity and I don’t know how long I spent doing it. Perhaps I was awakening.

I asked Jesus to protect me. Then I felt Jesus put the heel of his hand near my groin while his fingertips just reached my throat. Even though my body was small, Jesus’s hand must have been extraordinarily big. And I felt safe, grateful and joyous. I saw a piece of glass on the floor.

I took the piece of glass and I carved Jesus’s name in the top drawer of my bureau. The “J” was backwards and the writing was wonky. I threw the piece of glass in the wastebasket and went back to sleep.

In the morning I thought it had all been a dream until I saw Jesus’s name carved in the top drawer of my bureau. I knew that I was going to be in trouble with my parents for defacing the furniture. They said nothing and seemed to pretend that it didn’t exist.

Years later through flashbacks I uncovered a memory of sexual abuse that my father had perpetrated and my mother had covered up. It put the Jesus memory in a context that made sense. I chose to remember my contiguous memory of Jesus’s protection even though I had acknowledged the abuse and its cover-up.



At eleven or twelve years of age my mother drove us to the mall in the adjacent town. “How do these cars not hit each other?” I was wondering in my mind. They are in this dance of cooperation. The dance was fascinating especially when I extrapolated this dance around the world.


At age twelve I had been wandering in the library and found two books. One book reflected my depressive self and the other my expansive self. The first book reflecting the depressive in me was “Notes from Underground” by Dostoyevsky. The second book – “The Future of Man” by Teilhard de Chardin reflected my expansive higher consciousness self. That evening I asked to talk with my father about not using fear to shape his children.


In the summer of 1967 at age fifteen while I was on vacation with my family on Cape Cod I hiked up the beach from Eastham by Nauset Light to Truro about twelve miles – north of the Marconi Station. I had a heart-based experience that love untied the world. It filled ne with bliss and ecstasy. Words pale. The experience was ineffable.


In the summer of 1968 at age sixteen while I was on vacation with my family on Cape Cod I went out onto the mudflats at low tide in Wellfleet. The sun was beginning to set. I leapt into the air and I felt “the world as one”. And in a vision I saw every being connected by beams of light, one heart to another. From space the entire planet was consumed by light.



In 1984 I was in a leadership-training course. I was 32 years old. Our group was team building on a Ropes Course near Woodland, California. One of our teammates was up in the trees preparing to jump onto a wobbly platform, supported in a safety harness by two burly fellows on the ground and two support people in the trees. Our support consisted of us yelling like rabid cheerleaders at her. It made no sense to me so I projected the supportiveness of my heart energy into the trees and towards her.

Something happened that I hadn’t expected.

I saw light coursing through the trunks and branches of the trees. Looking at the light streaming so quickly through the trees was intense.

I looked down. I looked at the ground and then at the bare skin on my left arm.

I saw inside my arm. Where blood was pumping through the arteries and veins I saw light pulsing.  Light from a near by leafy bush (the leaves were tender and sweet to look at) extended a cloudy plasmic field of light around my arm as if to comfort me.

At that time it was too intense for me to process it and I closed my eyes and prayed for normalcy.  When I opened by eyes moments later I saw what I had expected to see – all was normal and reassuring.


The Calling – https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/the-calling/


Eight, Nine and more – explore this blog.

Its all backwards or

spacewave1Expressions of Consciousness- the tiny aka human experience to the Greater…

Remembering that there is no window

What is the purpose of the human experience?

Where is the meaning?

On February 1, 1973 I attempted suicide, my stomach was pumped and I was in a coma for 3 and a half days. A priest was called to perform last rites. Apparently I woke from the coma and told the priest “Go fuck yourself.” I went back into the coma for another day and a half. I didn’t remember what I had said to the priest. My girlfriend told me. I woke from the coma around 3 pm on February 4th it was a Sunday, though I barely registered it.

Seventeen years later the calendar and the dates of the 1973 experience were synchronized, On Monday February 5th just before going to sleep I asked:

God, what am I suppose to do with my life?

 In the morning I woke and there had been no dream that answered my question. It was a question I did not expect an answer. Lying in bed and feeling groggy I had a strange experience:

A presence entered through my groin and curled up into a ball in my abdomen. A name came to me. It was someone I had met..

I didn’t expect to find the woman’s name in the phone book. If her name hadn’t been there I’d be off-the hook. It was there. I called her, apologized and reported the crazy experience I had had.

She reported that she had been curled up into the fetal position and had been thinking about killing herself. I made a verbal contract with her and an agreement to talk a couple of days from that Tuesday morning 2/6/90.

Two days later she related what had happened to her over the holidays and when I offered her the names of therapists to see she said:

The universe put you out there to hear my call and that all I needed.

Surrendering to the experience opened by inner world to “seeing” which had always been there and letting me facilitate healing for others.

It took me many years to connect the two experiences together and parse the meaning. The most obvious was erasing the karma of attempting to annihilate myself. And there was something else there. It was as if it had been written and I was being allowed a glimpse into a larger pattern of my life.


Many years later between 2000 and 2001 I had a television but it was not connected to broadcast TV or cable. So when the planes hit the World Trade Center on 9/11 thankfully I didn’t see these images until many years later. In November I was visiting a friend who had a Quantum Xeroid Machine. She asked me if I wanted to “do past lives”?

“Sure,” I said.

I expected that I might experience “a past life”.

She pressed a button and I “flew over ten thousand past lives I had had on Planet Earth”. I joined a partner being and was with 11 other partnered beings watch the physical Planet Earth form and anchoring “free will” to the planet. I was part of a being that was and is the spiritual guardian of Earth and all her beings. I traveled “further back” and was an alien on a rogue planet with its own light/heat source. I experimented in going all the way forward in my life and wound up at the beginning.

Then. I heard my friend repeating a word. After a long time I realized the word was my name in the current reality.

When I walked home it was night and foggy. I felt as if my ego had been stripped down and was inconsequential. That Americans were inconsequential, and that humans were also inconsequential. Consciousness is the only being that endures survives and evolves all the rest is superfluous.

The next day my ego returned and was full of myself as usual.


Our experience is backwards. We identify with this puny existence of our current lifetime. We don’t experience or remember that we are One-Unified-Consciousness experiencing a variety of lifetimes each has the potential to raise our consciousness allow us to evolve to increasingly higher levels until it is no longer necessary to return to the Earth Plain.

Of course there are the Bodhisattvas* such as the Dali Lama that chooses to return remembering previous lifetimes, serving as an example to assist us to remember that we are a Consciousness that transcends ego.

Our purpose here is to let go of the illusion of suffering and transmute the energy of pain and anguish into light, which is Love.

Our lives are analogous to looking out of a window of a building. As humans we have parameters. The building and the window are like the parameters of a human life. The window and the building define who and where we are. When we pass and shed the skin of the human body the building and the window have no meaning and fall away. They disappear.


The First Incarnation

We separate ourselves from our self and forget or repress our larger self. We strip away the largess of our Great Consciousness and become an individual who then incarnates within a family or a unit on Planet Earth.

Here there is more forgetting of what went before. We are experiencing life and sensuality for the hedonism of life for the first time. Addiction becomes rampant. The choices seem narrow and we push put against them greedy for more.

This is characteristic of a young soul or lightbody inhabiting a corporeal form – a physical body.


Subsequent Incarnations

As the lightbody matures the individual begins to care as much about themselves as they do for others. Choice is more varied. Addiction and attachment abound. They are only beginning to catch glimpses of the divinity of self.

Old souls or the eldest of lightbodies often reach enlightenment. This is a seeing beyond the current lifetime. There are many choices yet these beings choose love. They are able to see addition and attachment and they work to release. They work tirelessly to release and transmute suffering into light and love.

Many of these old souls never return to a human corporeal existence having completed coating their light being and completed their soul work ready to return to the next stage in an evolving Higher Consciousness. Or as stated earlier they return as Bodhisattvas* to help others reach a higher evolutionary path.



* Bodhisattva (in Mahayana Buddhism) a person who is able to reach nirvana but delays doing so out of compassion in order to save suffering beings.