Blessings

EssenceFlameEternal
Essence of Light Within

From “Forever Young” by Bob Dylan

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you…

“God, what am I suppose to do with my life?”

was the question I asked myself before going to bed on a Monday night on February 5, 1990
loveflameEternity
Light as seen by Others

The answer led me to a life that while there was previously undeveloped and unfolded into a life of grace and blessings.

We forget that within the core of each individual is being

One of the greatest gifts or blessings in my life has been and continues to be is an ability to “see”.  I have “seen” others to the depths of their beings and they have all been beautiful.

In my interdimensional healing practice of nearly 30 years I have been blessed to see and embrace other peoples’ realities. My heart is full with that privilege of this life that has been afforded me.

In the beginning I did readings and embraced others’ realities. Then I began to work with helping others heal the blocks that stood (stand) in the way of their own light and embraced their realities.

the love is boundless

We all long to be seen, accepted and know that our presence has been acknowledged. We are hungry for that connection and may do all sorts of things distracting us from feeling that connection while thinking its out there somewhere. We see behaviors and attributes that we don’t like, loathe, hate and judge in the other. We discount and judge ourselves. We forget that the actions and attributes of the other person are surface waters and not who they are. We do not see people for who they are because we are so concerned with judging, criticizing and berating ourselves and maybe others. We forget that within the core of each individual is being.

loveflameEternity-copy2

When we are quiet enough to experience being in another we can experience being in ourselves. Then the love is boundless.

 


For further reading: The Calling

For more about my work visit:  Ontario’s The Kai

I grew up inside a Terrorist Regime – my family

 

CypressGrove5x

The Road Out via Compassion

 

I grew up inside a Terrorist Regime: in my family of origin where my father was the dictator and his word was law.

When I was a pre-teen he would shout me down into submission when he disagreed with something I said and end with telling me I was being illogical.

This was worse than death, torture of my dog.

He would continue to castigate my mother by telling her she was “irrational”. More often than not she was intuitive and non-rational

Around that time we adopted a stray dog: Peewee. He went everywhere with me – on my walks in the woods and to the reservoir. We never tied him up when we weren’t home. He ran with a pack of dogs that ate sheep. The sheep owner told us we would have to tie him up. We did for a while and then not having the heart to keep him tied up we let him go and he ate sheep again. My father was to take him to the vet to be put down. At dinner that night my father said:

I took Peewee to Yale to be experimented on. 

My head sank. This was worse than death, torture of my dog. I was so sad and down.

I thought you liked science – my father said.

 Not anymore – I said starting to get angry.

But I couldn’t show my anger otherwise I’d get in-trouble so I stuffed it.

After dinner beginning in my early teens we played Ping-Pong every night after dinner. He’d use psychological tactics on me to goad me to become angry, throw me off balance so he could win. One night, I thought – this is supposed to be fun. I decided not to get angry and started winning games. Once that happened he stopped playing and admitted that I had been a better player than he was and that by using psychological tactics he knew he could win.

he would bait others into Republican ideological arguments and then shout them down when they didn’t agree with them

When I was a teenager my father would bait me into arguments that I was emotionally invested in and then use his premise to make me feel wrong and confused. I’d fall for his debate tactics every time. When I was in my twenties I began to disagree with his premises and all “debate” ended.

My mom came to me and asked: “What am should I do about your father?”

 “What do you mean?”

“Well you know how he is.”

My mother’s friends never came over anymore because he would bait others into Republican ideological arguments and then shout them down when they didn’t agree with them.

            “You could see a therapist or minster,” I said.

            “I couldn’t do that,” she replied.

            “You could get a divorce,” I said.

           “Oh no, I couldn’t do that,” she replied.

            “Well, I don’t know what else to tell you,” I said.

My sister and I would spend all daylight hours outside of the house away from my mother and father and that I supposed was normal. We lived surrounded by bucolic regions of farms, fields and woods. My father would use his booming voice to call us for dinner while we were at least a mile away. He had had a lot of practice bellowing.

He told me once that he promised never to hit us like his father had done to his mother, him and his two sisters. But he broke his promise a few times. However he made up for actually physical violence by terrorizing us with verbal and non-verbal threats.

He often accused and never apologized even when he made a mistake.

He oscillated between sometimes being a looming or threatening boss to be a playful child albeit isolating. He was jealous of my mother having any recognition and acted passive-aggressively to quell her recognition: My mother would play the piano and we would sing folk songs and Christmas Carols after dinner. My mom also painted some. My father decided he could paint too. He painted some squares and a triangle on a canvas and put a mahogany frame around it. He hung it over the piano. When this happened I felt a profound shame and the childish jealousy of my father. My mother’s only visible protest was never to play the piano again. We all knew and my father had won his petty little game.

One time my sister and I – always the rivals often competing for my father’s attention were having a blast; bickering. It was a bit like the Monte Python sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLlv_aZjHXc

Our father yelled from the other room to “Stop it,” in his booming voice. We furtively glanced at each other snickering under our breaths and then began bickering again:

“Yes it is,” I fired out.

“No it isn’t,” my sister came back.

And on we went…

Our father appeared in the door of the kitchen his face red with rage, fists clenched he spewed in a vitriolic manner:

You kids cease and desist this instant!

 I thought blood would spurt from a vein in his forehead. He glared at us full of fury and rage. I had to bite my tongue so as not to speak or laugh. Many years later my sister told me she was so terrified that she had wet herself.

In my arguments to my father about the Vietnam war – I returned from college and told him I was against the war: he punched me across the face with a 1-2 punch and then in the stomach. He opened the front door of the house and threw me into the bushes and said:

Don’t you ever set foot in this house, again.

I was shaking and crying. A moment later he came out and invited me back inside saying:

I guess I didn’t brainwash you good enough.

 I knew my mother had stood up for me in that moment.

I learned to bring emotion into our debate and was able to stop many debates cold such as: The Vietnam war is wrong because killing for any reason is wrong and that’s how I feel.

my father was extremely obnoxious … after drinking in the afternoon

Later when I was going through a very rough time and we were in family therapy without my sister who was in college out west my father agreed to be nice to me. For about a year and a half he was nice. And then he changed back.

When I asked him about the change he said: “I can see that you were okay so I decided to be myself again.”

I offered to do some hands-on healing.

My father would have an occasional beer and an after dinner liquor when his friends came over for dinner. Once I had lunch with him in New Haven in the 1974 when we both worked in the city (it was the summer that Nixon resigned). He had a pitcher of beer with lunch. He seemed the same before as he did afterwards. At that time I wasn’t as aware of the various shades of alcoholism as I became later.

In the 1980s my sister visited with my mother and father. I met them for lunch. I was to meet them later at their Bed and Breakfast and then we were to meet up my woman lover at a restaurant in Glen Ellen. When I met them at the B&B my father was extremely obnoxious: grabbing a magazine article from my hands while I was reading it, ignoring my protest, telling me I had to listen to him etc… Later I learned that he and my sister had gone to a bar after lunch and had been drinking. My mother probably just watched – she didn’t drink due to health issues.

I felt satisfied that I was able to help him and that he had accepted my help.

They moved from Connecticut to North Carolina and I visited them in 2000.

My father said out of the blue:

            They’ve discovered planets in other solar systems.”

            “Good for them,” I replied.

            “How does astrology explain that?”

‘Oh brother here we go again.’ I thought

“Sounds like your trying to make fun of my profession as an astrologer,” I said going to the end point.

“Ah, no, no I wasn’t,” he said and dropped the whole thing. I was relieved and he seemed relieved as well.

He often accused and never apologized, ever.

By August of 2005 my father was on oxygen from pulmonary fibrosis – a lung disease. Even on O2 he had difficulty breathing, gasping for air. Towards the last hour of my stay I offered to do some hands-on healing. I thought he would refuse since he rarely praised me and denigrated my actions, choices and accomplishments at every turn of my life. I was surprised that he agreed.

For the next 45 minutes while I was there he breathed normally and appeared thankful though he said nothing. I felt satisfied that I was able to help him and that he had accepted my help.

He died in 2006 on my birthday from from pulmonary fibrosis.


END NOTES:  I learned much about the frightened Conservative stance towards the world through my father and his strong patriarchal ideals. Underneath all that bluster, anger and rage was a frightened boy who had never recovered from the abuse at the hands of his father. My father acknowledged the beatings that my grandfather had meted out on him his sisters and his mother. I’m sure there was sexual abuse that was repressed and / or supressed by alcohol abuse and acting-out rage, just as my garndfather had sexually abused me in horrific ways.

Beyond the unhealed abuse and fear that caused him to shift from an expansive man who had voted for JFK to one who embraced Nixon, Reagan, and both Bushs. Nixon was elected in 1969 when my father was almost 50. This is sometimes the period that people wither or break free from their parents belief systems. Or they become dissillusioned with the ideals of youth and fall back into what they know. My father embraced conservativism because it was about the past – government unresponsive to the needs of the many and only able to see the needs of the privelged and the elite in which he identified.

Fear is a breeding ground for greed, having enough, believing government stood in the way of making as much money as possible for himself. He was angry at those in civil service work because they made almost as much as he did as an executive for Ma Bell. Manual labor was beneath him. The intellect was all powerful and deserved the best of the elite. The common man – the middle class became superfluous, invisible and therefore inconsequential to him.

He belived in the platitudes and the American Dream and thought that all had access to it through hard work. He was sexist and racist and homeophobic. He was a sad broken man who took out his wounds on others.

I am happy to have survived my childhood with my heart intact though it took me many years to get in-touch with my emotions. I have forgiven my father for all the wounds he had perpertated on me. And I trust that his consciousness is growing in a life beyond his mortal coil.

 

An Odyssey of Loss and Rebirth (May 2017 to May 2018)

fires

Fires of October 2017

 

I had dreams of the death of my friend Wendy former lover and good friend in early May and she had given me hints of her upcoming death over the phone but I missed them. Denial is so self-protecting at least initially.

the October fires of Northern California began

News came of Tom Petty’s death…

I got a voice mail from a good friend’s daughter on 9/28/17 about his impending death. I had known it was coming but it took me my surprise. The next day he passed out of his cancer-ridden physical body into the next life.

Wendy had died of cancer in May.

A week later the October fires of Northern California began. I evacuated, as did my neighbors – only to find that it wasn’t a mandatory evacuation as I was lead to believe by authorities on the scene. (I later learned they had moving heavy equipment – massive bulldozers into the mountains at the end of the road.). My cat and I stayed with a good friend in Windsor. I returned one day in the midst of smoke as thick as fog that not even air conditioning in my car, a mask or the interior of my house would eliminate to retrieve a few items and found a message on my answering machine to call the niece of Wendy in Canada.

The losses from the fires were and continue to be heartbreaking and devastating.

I waited until I arrived back in Windsor to call Wendy’s niece. She had gotten my letter (Wendy’s phone had been disconnected). Wendy had died of cancer in May.

My old boss was shot

The losses from the fires were and continue to be heartbreaking and devastating. Thankfully my place and my neighborhood were spared. Many homes that were completely destroyed are just now starting the re-building process. Loss and the anniversary of that loss have had us holding our breaths a bit. I felt us all sigh relief, exhaling as the rains came October first and second.

He was taken off hospice in May 2018

In December another friend passed from cancer.

My old boss was shot during the time my boss asked a question and was in critical condition for a time and then started his recovery.

A friend was put on hospice in February. I could see he wasn’t going to die that soon. He was taken off hospice in May 2018

Making It Simple

EssenceFlameEternal

 

multiEarthReality

Why making it simple is dangerous:

When I look back to my childhood things seemed idyllic and I often long for those simpler times. The operative word regarding the simplicity of childhood is seemed. Childhood seems simpler for two reasons – our minds have not developed enough to grasp complex ideas, notions and systems; and two as the population increases with technological advances, climate change not-withstanding the world has become mindbogglingly complex.

a desire for “the good old days”

In my family I have noticed in my sibling that the loss of our father marked a shift in her to embrace the conservative values of my father and the nostalgia of my mother’s romanticisms. She may have thought she had fully processed her grief, but her reversion to a desire for “the good old days” became evident in her insular attitudes and an increased right-wing conservative political stance as well as a refusal to see that the world has changed around her.

These models of individualism while admirable create winners and losers

I suspect that those that embrace the desire for simpler times (of the past) are intellectually and/or emotionally stuck at a variety of childhood ages. They often long for parent-figures that will lead them to the Promised Land [1]. This longing is often expressed in ideologies that emphasize past philosophies of mythological successes such as rugged individualism, rags to riches stories and the like – mirrored in “The American Dream”.

President is a father figure that can solve all our problems

These models of individualism while admirable create winners and losers that in our current world fall apart. Winners either want to assist “losers” or they wish to punish losers for the most part. This is a longer discussion based on the failings of the patriarchy and its new god of consumer capitalism.

Simple answers are not enough for a prosperous people

The childhood longing for simplicity in a complex world leads individuals with antiquated beliefs to vote for Presidents that offer simple solutions to complex problems. Extreme examples of leaders with a simple answers philosophies lead may lead to fascist states. Part of the idea of a President is a father figure that can solve all our problems and make the world safe whether it be simple or complex especially in a failing patriarchal system [2]. (Even a woman president plays by patriarchal rules so that it’s impossible for any of us to escape patriarchal thinking.)

ensure the survival of the human species in the face of climate change

I used to think after President Clinton and President Obama were elected that I could “relax” and that things were taken care of. In hindsight neither of these Presidents did not institute enough nor the right kind of reforms to represent the majority of people economically, to adequately address the role of the military, or aggressively pursue the problems of climate change – though Obama did make some initial strides here.

Simple answers are not enough for a prosperous people. A president alone is not enough. Our representatives are not enough. As a citizen (and not a consumer) it is my responsibility to take an active role beyond merely voting for representatives and a president.

 

Major issues that need to be addressed and worked towards solutions:

  • To ensure the survival of the human species in the face of climate change
  • Superlative secondary education
  • Income equality
  • Housing
  • Corporate / Big Money out of politics
  • Fair agriculture
  • Addressing the future of work especially with regard to automation and robotics
  • Healthcare

 

These are complex and inter-related issues that can be solved when communities work together.

 

NOTES:

 

  1. The Greeks looked to the Elysium Fields of the west as the promised land of paradise. The west as myth woven with The American Dream was never equally accessible by former slaves. Even for those that felt they have achieved or are on their way of the American Dream they must belong to an educated upper class and have extraordinary luck. Also the Dream is based on the acquisition of “more” money of which there will never be enough.
  2. The patriarch system is a hierarchical structure with the Alpha male on top. It is based on power-over dynamics. There will always be someone over you and someone under you whether you are the most powerful person in the world or someone without any seeming power. The dangers in this kind of system is a focus on its internal criteria to the exclusion of those “objects: that ensure survival – the “object” that is a sacred being and the context of our home – Earth. Even though the patriarchy could be shaped to include earth and her bounty in a capitalistic economy the internal dynamic of winners and losers belies community systems

Tidbits – three errant ideas

“They’ve paved paradise and put up a parking lot…”

Joni Mitchell

Errant Idea #1

I have had many ideas.  Here’s one that could be useful if it were widely used to help lower temperature in summer and help Earth heal.

Aerated parking lots. Most parking lots are paved. Suppose parking lots are left unpaved and held together with buried cinder blocks flush with the surrounding soil and gravel. In the sandy soil chamomile could be planted – an herb than stands up to automobile traffic and could induce calm suggestions in a surrounding environment, Other usable herbs could be planted in addition to bushes. Each of these parking lots could be a bit dusty and car washes using recycled wastewater could be zoned for in each aerated lot. Each shop entrance could have mud scrapers and/or washes for shoes during winter months.

 

Errant Idea #2

This next idea is especially important in areas subject to drought and fire hazards during dry seasons. Tax incentives for existing properties and laws requiring residential and some commercial structures to recycle waste water and install cisterns to collect rainwater. Besides the obvious function of watering plants and gardens in summer months it could also be used (with battery back-ups) to water-down homes during fires.

Errant Idea #3

This next idea again good where in summer there’s no rain and mostly clear skies: community based solar farms to supply local residents electricity when the grid breaks down.

 

 

Composite Beings – Part Two

spacewave1spacewave1

The higher vibrational being (HVB) who enters may remain as an observer for a time before it produces a noticeable event in the child’s or adolescent’s life. Fractured or alternative personalities already exist within the host due to traumatic events that are often on going. A DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) is a coping strategy that some individuals use to deal with extremely impactful traumatic wounds. HVBs are attracted to those suffering from DIDs and look for ways to mesh with the wounded individuals that provide a modicum of strength, protection and may be utilized for aspects of integration in a therapeutic healing process.

Self-acceptance is very important in the healing process.

Just as traumatic events produce fractured wounds and decimate the individual into separate personalities to manage aspects of the trauma the Higher Vibrational Being seeks to augment managing personality parts with positive past, current and parallel realities and lives to support the individual in a wider context. Once the individual begins to incorporate the HVB neuronal patterns, and experiential fragments of the wider context then a cognitive frame can be created with the original organizing self for more effective administration of the wounded personalities for healing.

the HVB may produce synchronistic events that appear “magical” or have extrasensory phenomena

The HVB and the various fragmented parts can come together more quickly and can either be reintegrated into a healing self or co-exist cooperatively with one another. Self-acceptance is very important in the healing process. Finding a therapist and /or a shaman-interdimensional healer who works towards unconditional acceptance of the DID / HVB synergy is extremely important for healing and for future work. [NOTE: not all DID individuals have a HVB entree]. The shaman and/or interdimensional healer can offer a community for the wounded individual with a HVB to be accepted into gracefully.

It’s also possible and likely that the wounded individual will not notice the HVB until the individual has worked towards reintegration and /or a peace cooperation or coexistence between the alternate personalities. When recognition occurs there has been enough work to raise the vibration of the individual as well as integration between the HVB and at least one of the conscious core selves.

Awareness of a high vibration being is a tricky affair.

 Until the time of recognition the HVB may produce synchronistic events that appear “magical” or have extrasensory phenomena associated with an incident or incidents. The presence of an HVB within a person with a dissociative identity disorder or fractured selves does not necessarily guarantee automatic healing. Therapeutic work on a psychological level must occur as well as somatic treatments and inner work as in a spiritual practice or some semblance thereof.

Awareness of a high vibration being is a tricky affair. If the HVB reveals itself before a context has been established and the ego of the host is not strong enough to handle the impact the individual may be prematurely diagnosed with additional psychiatric disorders such as schizophrenia. Medication could destroy the host’s identity as well as extremely hinder the effectiveness of the HVB to carry out its mission.

[NOTE: Amalgamated Beings are several HVBs fused together that take human form bypassing indigenous humans in the reincarnation process.]

Difficult Times – it’s not what you think.

1bgearth grids11bg

Uranus on the left and right in infrared & Earth in an EM field

 Or

The Patriarchy has Ended.            An Introduction to Higher Consciousness – Part Two

If you’re a progressive there’s a tendency to be pulled into the fray of bashing Trump. Its easy to succumb to the frustrations that the actions of Trump and the GOP / Conservatives elicit in us. When we engage in bashing we may feel better, vindicated, surrounded by others that believe as we do – as in a club of like-mindedness.

Before continuing context is important:

  • Climate Change / Global Warming / Extreme Weather
  • Dwindling natural resources
  • Explosive Advances in Technology
  • Eroding or disappearing democracy
  • Increased diseases including auto-immune diseases
  • Over-population
  • Sensory, intellectual, emotional and spiritual overwhelm
  • Income Inequality

Back to Trump and the social-political zeitgeist. On a deeper level we know that Trump really isn’t the problem at all. He’s a symptom and a very odious and obvious symptom like a giant pus-filled pimple on the tip of the nose. He’s the pimple that represents a face full of acne – the GOP, corporate greed, a nostalgic look at America before the income tax or fill-in “the blank”.

The problem has been stated in many ways much more succinctly as I am about to expound. The problem is deeper because many people in power in both political parties have ignored the needs of the people in favor of corporate donors to their campaigns.

Trump, the GOP and or lives within this perilous time represent a gestalt that is deeper and more insidious than we may have imagined. Some have chosen not to engage in Trump bashing and this is good because it is a sign of restraint based on rational thought. When we engage in Trump bashing daily we are engaging in three or more processes that are not immediately evident:

  1. We fall into the “Pit of Trump” – keeping negative attention on him is attention. He revels in any kind of attention. Negative attention can be useful in that it clearly defines:
  • A potential enemy or adversary
  • Puts people on the defensive
  • Raises the bar for irrational acts
  • Raises the bar for anger going to acting-out rage manifesting as violence
  • Justifies actions taken against protestors, suppressing voters’ rights, etc.
  • Possibly foments violence
  1. Trump represents the shadow in each of us. As he pokes at us especially those of us that bash him daily he fosters our shadow to come out in-reaction to his stuff. He becomes successful in dragging us down to his level where the bashing is all there is. In other words bashing is not followed by actions such as direct actions, organizing with others and so on. We get stuck in reacting, bashing – rinse, repeat and think of this as protest. Many of us, myself included don’t move out of the acting-out rage and name-calling -its overwhelming.

3. The patriarchy has ended energetically but socially and politically it persists. The  natural part of the process of ending of an epoch is upon us in the form represented by the caricature we have come to know as Trump. He represents a black hole of endless addictive fears of not being enough and allows us to air the “dirty laundry” of our shadow to the each other and the world. By remaining in the world of just bashing, signing a petition or two without a monetary contribution is an indulgence of shadow where the light never shines. It’s easy to fall into this place.

 

An example:

Slight changes in my job began to put me in a cycle of stress and decreasing sleep – 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night for over ten months. So I retired so I could recover and begin to work on my private practice. It took seven and a half months (until mid September 2017) to stabilize my sleep patterns and regain some health.

Then a good friend died of cancer at the end of September 2017. Two weeks later I had to evacuate due to the Northern California / Sonoma County fires. I was thrown back into shock, anxiety and disrupted sleep. Midway through the fires I got a phone message from the niece of a friend who moved back to Canada at the turn of the century who I hadn’t heard from. Because she didn’t answer her phone and then her phone was disconnected I wrote her a letter. We had been lovers and then friends for 29 years. When I got in-touch with Wendy’s niece she told me that Wendy had died of cancer in May 2017. She didn’t want anyone to know that she had had cancer. Her niece found out that she was dying by accident.

My house survived unscathed by the fires. I feel so grateful.

A man seeking revenge on another man in an adjacent town also shot my old boss. That was December 2017. He is recovering slowly in an ICU – slowly moving out of critical condition. Then another good friend in the beginning of February 2018 is now in hospice care due to a terminal lung disease. (April update – still under hospice care and improving somewhat)

I thought I had grieved, but I haven’t completed this process. Unconsciously I had been carrying around huge amounts of anger and dumping it on certain safe others inappropriately in part approved by Trump.

 

The Big Cycle

We are in the end times of the patriarch and the beginning times of the partnership. Cycles of five to ten thousand years do not end abruptly. There are no lines in space demarcating constellations from one another.

Think of the end and beginning times as analogous to a traffic light in slow motion denoting a longer time period.

The Green Light FLICKERS

  • The Green Light TURNS to YELLOW – CAUTION
  • The Yellow Light stays in – CAUTION: emotions build negativity is often displayed due to increasing impatience.
  • The Yellow Light FLICKERS
  • The Yellow Light turns to RED impatience increases more negativity
  • The Red Light impatience can be released
  • The Red Light turns to Green – a new age comes into being

 

These larger cycles of times have been described in the Vedic texts and are known as Yugas. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yuga

Add the concept of “Soul Age” into the mix of these embroiled end times. There are a number of different resources on Soul Age from the Michael Teachings to Astrology (these can be googled).

  1. The baby to young souls are survival-based peoples with a fluid moral compass. They tend to be opportunistic and self-centered. They are very driven to success and look at everything in win-lose frameworks.
  1. Middle souls live in a social context. Emotional drama may be part of their experience. They are searching for inner meaning. They are attached to emotional intensity, prosperity. While being empathic they interpret the feelings of others as they interpret their own.
  1. Older Souls have a wider perspective. They have a profound respect and acceptance of others- emotionally, intellectually and spiritual. They are working on letting go of their attachments.

The Younger Souls seems to have less choice while middle souls more choice and old souls the most choice. Younger souls push choice to the limit. Middle souls exercise choice within a social context. Old souls choose love.

 

Back to the Yugas for a Moment:

The Satya Yuga is divided into an ascending and descending arc of almost 10,000 years, though I have other sources that show it to be longer (Toltec) it was and will be a Spiritual Age where humankind in all soul ages will be able to form complete thoughtforms (http://theyugas.com/about-the-yugas/overview/overview/ see diagram after scrolling to bottom of the page of the link). The Satya (ascending and descending) are at the top of the diagram and the Kali Yugas are at the bottom. Kali is the Goddess of destruction and the Kali Yugas are the material epoch where society is in disarray. We are the cusp of the ascending Dwapara Yuga or Energy Age. But since this is the Yellow Light period in our traffic light metaphor we need to exercise caution in this in-between place. Within the structures of the Kali Yuga there is a direct cause and effect action in the world. In the Dwapara Yuga or Energy Age there is thought first then energy into action. The Treta Yuga or Mental Age – thoughtforms come into being once again.

A thoughtform is an original thought cleansed of base desires and negative emotions that is able to form a pattern with the electromagnetic field of the body that can manifest in its entirety. As humans in our current state of development; we are not able to create original thought nor are we able to craft a thoughtform on a conscious level. Many unconscious thoughtforms keep us stuck in war and violence worldwide. (For a more detailed look at the subject of thoughtforms see – https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2016/10/02/an-intuitive-look-at-thoughtforms/ )

Humans at the current level of development are not responsible for their thoughtforms. Unconscious and uncompleted thoughtforms seek out those of a lower vibration and manifest. Meaning that if we think harmful negative thoughts towards another – that are recycled from the gestalt of our world that thought will manifest willy-nilly in a lower vibration younger or middle soul and get acted out. It will probably not manifest in the person we are angry or bear ill-will towards because their vibration may not be low enough or due to the randomness of unconscious recycled though will likely go towards groups that already experience violence or where there is a war.

Humans are not advanced enough to create conscious original thoughtforms and so must enact laws to attempt a similar safeguard. In the Satya Age religion is not needed, anti-discrimination laws and laws against violence are no longer necessary because love exists in the hearts and minds of the individuals.

Higher Consciousness and Love are one. Love is just as light is. Photons of light are everywhere and in every being. Higher Consciousness includes everything including the darkness. Higher Consciousness is Knowing and Knowing is Accepting. Love accepts and allows knowing to be all.

Our vibration is not high enough to create an original thought and craft it into a thoughtform. That does not mean that we cannot work on ourselves to utilize the love in us to melt our own negativity and practice good thoughts towards others while using love to dissolve negative thinking towards ourselves and others.

Returning to the issues with Trump and the anger he evokes in me, the triggered anger about the multiple losses (deaths and death processes) I’ve experienced over the last six months and other triggered wounds from childhood – I’ve begun work on these issues in a different way.

I find it’s easy for me to go to outrage and sadness over the injustices that Trump, his administration and the GOP are foisting upon us. And I don’t want to stay wound-up inside the injustices he is dishing out by voicing outrage about it without taking positive action. For me it’s important to respond to Trump (on Facebook, or another public venue) with outrage in writing unless someone else has already written it. Then call or email my representative in the house and my two senators. Or write to the California Attorney General; call the ACLU or other agency. Budget monthly contributions to worthy causes, or a singular contribution to a candidate in favor of a progressive agenda and/or resisting the Trump agenda. Send faxes in campaigns resisting ludicrous bills before congress.

Reacting repeatedly in anger at Trump allows me to descend to the lower vibration that Trump lives and feed his agenda, keeps me tense, restricted and in fight mode – the tiredness sets in and I don’t want to do the actions that I have pledged in the above paragraph.

So I set myself to:

  • Briefly express anger at Trump et al.
  • Make phone calls, send faxes and /or emails to MoC (Members of Congress)
  • Donate to causes and candidates
  • Relax and envision a present spreading out into the future that is one of peace and justice for all (peoples – all biological beings, Earth, all so-called non-biological beings).
  • Make the love I recognize within available to those that want and/or need it (through quantum entanglement).

 

How will you be in these difficult times? What will you do to make it better?

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A final note: Jeffery Wolf Green, astrologer has a school in Evolutionary Astrology. He speaks about the change agents based on the nodes of Uranus. (Uranus is the trickster planet or revolution and evolution). People born between 1936 and now have the nodes of Uranus in the same place as those alive ( in reincarnation) during the change from the matriarchy to the patriarchy. Therefore we are The Change Agents between epochs. ?

 

breaking the Rules

Every family makes rules. Some of these rules are well stated, some are not and both represent good values and living for the most part.

Plate

For as many stated rules and values there are many more meta-rules (unspoken rules) that often contradict each other and are passed on generationally. Some of the inter-generational rules may blend with regional rules.

be invisible

When I was 21 years old my Aunt passed away. She was in her 40s. I went to my bedroom in my childhood home and cried for twenty minutes. When I emerged to be with my stone-faced parents watching television they treated me like a weirdo (all unspoken).

For more on the New England mindset: https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2017/03/07/exploring-perception-a-new-england-mindset/

In 1990 I changed part of my name to rid myself of a suffix – junior. I had considered the change for ten years but had decided against it because I knew my father’s feeling would be hurt and discounted my feelings. When I put myself in the equation I broke a big rule.

My father’s influence in my life was both positive and negative mixed together. Sometimes it was possible to disconnect one from the other and sometimes not. In retrospect I see how my fears of punishment from my father were transferred onto the authority of the county courts and to a lesser degree the DMV.

It was my own fear of my father’s (wrath) authority

In November of 2017 I broke another family meta-rule, which states roughly: work hard, don’t draw attention to your self and be invisible in the world at large. I ordered a “specialty license plate” or more commonly known as a vanity plate – the 1960 Legacy plate with dark brown background and yellow lettering. It took nearly ten months to decide to order one. Feelings began to arise that I was doing something wrong, that I would be punished for drawing attention to myself.

It was my own fear of my father’s (wrath) authority – even though he passed on my 55th birthday in 2006 that helped create the following events:

On the DMV website they wrote that it would be a maximum of 12 weeks before a Vanity plate could be in my possession. When those 12 weeks passed I called the DMV and found it was a 3 to 4 month wait.

I received a notice that the plate had arrived at the designated DMV office so I made an appointment on-line. A few days later I received a summons to jury duty. Jury duty fell in the same week as my appointment. Would I have to reschedule my DMV appointment, would there be enough time? The info I received from the DMV indicated that I would have to pick-up my plate within 30 days or I would not get it. A good friend reminded me that I was complaining and that I could stand in line like everybody else.

I regressed into a super anxious sixteen year old rebelling…

I had to inform my clients with appointments for the week of March 12th through the 16th that I had to be on-call for jury duty. Except for one emergency appointment all other appointments were cancelled or re-scheduled.

I was directed to call the info line each evening after 5 pm to find out whether I would be called in for jury duty on the following day. I called Sunday evening for Monday – no jury duty. I called Monday evening for Tuesday – no jury duty. I spoke to a person Tuesday afternoon who said that my number was high and it was likely I wouldn’t be called – so I would be off the hook by Thursday evening. I called Tuesday evening for Wednesday – no jury duty.

…I became my father and went into authority – lording it over another.

Wednesday I kept my DMV appointment and I did stand in-line until I saw a sign that read: “appointments this line only” and went into a different line – a shorter line – got a number – waited more and was able to finish my DMV business in an hour and get my plates.

I had lessons to be learned. I learned them the hard way.

I called Wednesday evening for Thursday. – no jury duty. I called Thursday evening for Friday – and was told to call back on Friday between 11:15 am and noon for “reporting instructions”. I felt my chain was being yanked at that point. I called Friday during the appointed time – and I was finally freed from jury duty. It wasn’t just the waiting it was the anxiety of dealing with two government agencies (authority figures aka my arbitrary father) that triggered crazy emotions in me. I regressed into a super anxious sixteen year old rebelling against authority and not winning. I feel sad for that sixteen year-old kid.

Being visible is a strange feeling

It didn’t stop there. The following week I became my father and went into authority – lording it over another. That incident ended in tragedy to which I bear my part in the interaction. And I had brought it on myself. I had lessons to be learned. I learned them the hard way.

As a automobile driver I am fairly responsible, either driving responsibly or going with the flow. Its difficult and dangerous being around drivers who are behaving irresponsibly with their cars and I usually move into a defensive posture with high awareness. Driving with the new plate I picked up on others judgments and also emotions of curiosity too. I checked myself for becoming arrogant while driving because I was “entitled” with my vanity plate and let go. Being visible is a strange feeling.

I am still working with my emotions around being visible with the new plate. It’s a process

Nine Life Shaping Events and…

earth grids1loveflameEternity-copy2

One:

My early life as a child and later as a teenager was punctuated by extraordinary events that helped shape all subsequent experiences.

Before I attended kindergarten I was eager to learn spelling, which included writing out my name. In the mid 1950s my parents did not send me to nursery school. Between birth and five years old my parents and younger sister and I lived in a second floor apartment that had once been part of an attic in one big house.

At age four I was lying in bed one night watching the floaters in the film of my eyes dart across the night-light lit ceiling of my bedroom. I believed the floaters were stars and I was trying to catch one of them. As soon as I thought I had one it would dart away. It was a futile activity and I don’t know how long I spent doing it. Perhaps I was awakening.

I asked Jesus to protect me. Then I felt Jesus put the heel of his hand near my groin while his fingertips just reached my throat. Even though my body was small, Jesus’s hand must have been extraordinarily big. And I felt safe, grateful and joyous. I saw a piece of glass on the floor.

I took the piece of glass and I carved Jesus’s name in the top drawer of my bureau. The “J” was backwards and the writing was wonky. I threw the piece of glass in the wastebasket and went back to sleep.

In the morning I thought it had all been a dream until I saw Jesus’s name carved in the top drawer of my bureau. I knew that I was going to be in trouble with my parents for defacing the furniture. They said nothing and seemed to pretend that it didn’t exist.

Years later through flashbacks I uncovered a memory of sexual abuse that my father had perpetrated and my mother had covered up. It put the Jesus memory in a context that made sense. I chose to remember my contiguous memory of Jesus’s protection even though I had acknowledged the abuse and its cover-up.

 

Two:

At eleven or twelve years of age my mother drove us to the mall in the adjacent town. “How do these cars not hit each other?” I was wondering in my mind. They are in this dance of cooperation. The dance was fascinating especially when I extrapolated this dance around the world.

Three:

At age twelve I had been wandering in the library and found two books. One book reflected my depressive self and the other my expansive self. The first book reflecting the depressive in me was “Notes from Underground” by Dostoyevsky. The second book – “The Future of Man” by Teilhard de Chardin reflected my expansive higher consciousness self. That evening I asked to talk with my father about not using fear to shape his children.

Four:

In the summer of 1967 at age fifteen while I was on vacation with my family on Cape Cod I hiked up the beach from Eastham by Nauset Light to Truro about twelve miles – north of the Marconi Station. I had a heart-based experience that love untied the world. It filled ne with bliss and ecstasy. Words pale. The experience was ineffable.

Five:

In the summer of 1968 at age sixteen while I was on vacation with my family on Cape Cod I went out onto the mudflats at low tide in Wellfleet. The sun was beginning to set. I leapt into the air and I felt “the world as one”. And in a vision I saw every being connected by beams of light, one heart to another. From space the entire planet was consumed by light.

 

Six:

In 1984 I was in a leadership-training course. I was 32 years old. Our group was team building on a Ropes Course near Woodland, California. One of our teammates was up in the trees preparing to jump onto a wobbly platform, supported in a safety harness by two burly fellows on the ground and two support people in the trees. Our support consisted of us yelling like rabid cheerleaders at her. It made no sense to me so I projected the supportiveness of my heart energy into the trees and towards her.

Something happened that I hadn’t expected.

I saw light coursing through the trunks and branches of the trees. Looking at the light streaming so quickly through the trees was intense.

I looked down. I looked at the ground and then at the bare skin on my left arm.

I saw inside my arm. Where blood was pumping through the arteries and veins I saw light pulsing.  Light from a near by leafy bush (the leaves were tender and sweet to look at) extended a cloudy plasmic field of light around my arm as if to comfort me.

At that time it was too intense for me to process it and I closed my eyes and prayed for normalcy.  When I opened by eyes moments later I saw what I had expected to see – all was normal and reassuring.

Seven:

The Calling – https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/the-calling/

 

Eight, Nine and more – explore this blog.