A Father’s Day Tribute

A Good Dad Pic

My Father passed on my 55th birthday. If his body had survived he would have been 100 years old this year going on 101. He’s a better father and friend since he passed than when he was alive.

He was highly intelligent with an incredible vocabulary (which rubbed off on me).  He taught me logic and debating while using these tools to brainwash me into his way of thinking and believing – the conservative mindset. At the same time, he modeled being a free thinker. Well I could be free as long as I thought within his parameters of acceptable thinking and behaviors. Nevertheless he was proud of my intellectual prowess while he occupied his body and I felt this and am grateful.

He was very self-centered and a narcissist. He belittled my mother’s non-rational intuition as if he was admonishing a child. When I was a kid I wanted to defend my mom but didn’t know how. My dad was very fearful all his life and over-compensated by having to be “right” and angry at all costs even if that meant bullying others and “shouting them into submission.”

After he passed the shell of his fragile damaged ego fell away and he became the sweet innocent that I had seen in photographs of his childhood. We share love and occasional communication. He has told me he is proud of me especially after I published my first novel – a fantasy – The Green Man of Destiny.

This is for you Dad as you really are – not some patriarchal definition of a man afraid and always defending himself but a Dad with a boundless curiosity about everything and a dorky sense of humor.

This is for my Dad with a boundless heart and intellect exploring consciousness as a sweet curious boy in the world beyond the corporeal body.

I love you, Dad.

what i am working on now

multicolored abstract painting
Photo by Amber Lamoreaux on Pexels.com

 

Will Humans Survive the Climate Crisis as a Species? How will life be different?

Was there a time when Humans didn’t have an ego? were they primitive or more advanced than we are today?

Grief, Anger, Disability and Racism – privilege in its worst iteration doesn’t see itself as privileged and systemic racism may spring from this.

What can we do now to transform ourselves and allow this transformation to affect others in a way to transform the world?

Why Predatory Capitalism Now?

Was Atlantis and Lemuria the Highest Point of Evolution and its been downhill ever since?

 

 

The Garden of Delights – 1975- 76

GardenofDelightsformerlocation
former location of Garden of Delights – courtesy of Google Earth

Garden of Delights breakfast and lunch restaurant 113 C Highland St. Worcester, MA

From 1975 to early 1976 I had one of the best part-time jobs of my life if you could even call it a job. It combined two of my favorite past-times: driving and having fun. It also revealed a few other tasks I excelled at – more on those later.

I began as a dishwasher in a lunch and dinner restaurant – the Garden of Delights on Highland Street in Worcester, Massachusetts. Inside it was all black – black walls, black ceilings, interrupted by two tropical fish tanks, spider plants with their own grow lights and placards with single cell cartoons each with their own illuminated lights and a few maps and prints. This was the work of Tinker and Princess. They were the owners of the restaurant. It was obvious that Tinker had done the interior work / décor.

Tinker was dressed in all black with long black hair and custom-made shoes that curled up at the toes with tiny bells on them. He made them, of course, along with his black vest and its many pockets. He may have bought the wide-brimmed black hat. Princess was the chef. She created the specials that changed every week. It was a vegetarian restaurant except for the tuna of the very famous open-faced tuna melts on toast.

It was a special place at a special time.  

Dish washing was not my most favorite task, actually it was my least favorite task. But everyone that worked there brought in a vinyl rock LP that was stacked about 15 records high on the spindle. We’d rock out all night long as we worked, worked, worked.

My good friend, Valerie who worked there, as a waitress, told me they were looking for a driver to pick-up food and supplies for the restaurant. Tinker and Princess did not own a car. My job was to pick up food for the week on one day and make bank deposits. I started in the spring of 1975. I drove my 1969 VW Bug which was mostly a good car for pick-up.

I went to Mitchell’s Bakery every Wednesday and shopped for the rest of the stuff on Thursdays to my recollection. At Mitchell’s I would buy 100 loaves of whole wheat bread and 50 pounds of fresh ground Mocha Java Coffee; I loved the aroma of all those coffee beans being ground into the bags. They would grind the beans as I loaded the bread in the bug. Next stop – Stop ‘n Shop for cans of White Albacore Tuna – it was the only brand of Tuna where dolphins were not attracted to the nets of the fishing boats.  On the other day I’d do everything else:

  • Off to the Greek Market for 2 to 3 pounds of Feta Cheese, jaw with the owner.
  • On the opposite side of town was a cheese wholesaler open to the public where I would buy Gouda and Muenster in large bars, no need for cutting. A woman customer remarked once: “You must have a big family?” “You have no idea,” I cracked.
  • Then to the bank for a deposit.

The cheese wholesaler stopped carrying 50-pound wheels of Aged Vermont Cheddar Cheese, so Princess or Tinker had to locate a different source. I was given an address down in the warehouse section of Worcester. I parked and started to walk towards the enormous building whose sign read: Boston Beef. I had to laugh. A Natural Foods restaurant that did not serve poultry or red meat was the address I was sent to. In my minds eye I could see Tinker and Princess laughing.

There was a buzzer at a side door. A guy with a hard-hat and a white blood-soaked coat arrived there. I gave him my name, the name of the business and the product I wanted. He had me wear a hard-hat. We walked through the place with beef hanging on hooks deep into the back of the building. He opened the door to a cold-storage locker and brought out a giant wheel of cheese. It was on account and I signed it and he gave me a receipt. Then I hiked out with him. He took the hat and away I went.

I’d go over their apartment a block away from the restaurant for food experiments that Princess would try out for the three of us – as vegetarian dinner specials. After dinner in the dining room amid the low slung and bean bags chairs surrounded by industrial sized wooden spools for tables and swing arms mounted on stands with an alligator clip at the end of each arm, four arms all together.  It was the lazy person’s way of smoking a joint. Well one of the three of us would have to get the joint and transfer it to the next clip, oh such work for “the slammed”.

Summer was great. But the winter of 75 – 76 with the snow storms and the sludge was a drag. On a Wednesday I did a small bit of driving in the city and then off to pick-up 80 gallons of organic Apple Cider and Juice in Sterling north of the city about 30 miles. It had started snowing during my morning run, it was light, but wet.

a 4-foot exact replica of Donald Duck made of solid sharp Vermont Cheddar Cheese with toothpicks holding the pieces together

When I arrived at the mill the parking lot up to the loading deck wasn’t plowed yet. I had stripped all superfluous stuff including two small sandbags from the trunk in order to fit all the cider in the Bug. There wasn’t enough weight in the from to get across the parking lot. Two guys around my age stood on the front bumpers and the drive over to the loading dock was one of ease.

It was an engineering feat getting those 80 gallons of glass bottles loaded with that sweet nectar into the car. There were 60 gallons of cider and 20 gallons of juice: 4 gallons to a box. I tried loading them with the backseat down, but it worked better with it up because I could get some boxes on the floor. Boxes in the passenger seat and one on the floor and two in the trunk with it tied down by some cord. I laughed.

Later, on a winter’s Wednesday morning I was taking a shortcut back to the G.O.D. from the bank. There had been two heavy snows earlier in the week and it was snowing lightly when I came into a very tiny traffic circle.  It was the exact same time a woman in a Mercedes entered from the right and I pumped the breaks to stop. It wasn’t enough. Our bumpers crunched. My bug was more damaged than hers. It was clearly my fault. We exchanged insurance information and phone numbers.

When I got back Princess and Tinker could see something had happened. It was around 10:30 am before the place opened. There was another guy there in a suit. I explained what had happened. Fortunately, my work for that day was done.

“What can we do,” they both asked. I didn’t know. The suit, Tom, had overheard me. He told me he had just graduated from Law School but hadn’t taken the Massachusetts Bar yet. He wondered if he could investigate the accident for me.

“Sure,” I said.

He had me draw a map of how I hit the car and the names of streets etc.

Later I negotiated with Princess and Tinker for one free meal a week, all the free coffee I could drink and to smoke pot with them in the basement after my run once in a while.

They both beamed:

“Yes. Good. Anytime,” they said.

A few weeks later Tom was waiting for me when I returned from my run. He told me that she was driving the wrong way down a one-way street, but hadn’t seen the signs: one was broken off by a plow and the other signs were covered by piles of snow.

In the meantime, I had used a heavy-duty rope to pull my bumper out. I called the woman on the phone and explained the new situation. She was beside herself. But since I had done my own “repairs” I told her there was no need for our insurance companies to get involved. Relieved and disappointed, she agreed and that was that.

Near St. Patrick’s Day ’76 Prink, Princess had shortened her name to match Tinker and they had become Prink and Tink, she had me drive her to a deli south of Clark University on Main. On the way there she told me her real name:

“And you have to promise never to tell anyone. Okay?”

“Yeah, sure. No problem.”

“And I’m thinking of going to the Culinary Institute of America in New York.”

“Oh God, the CIA,” and we both laughed.

By early spring of ’76 I had to stop working there due to faltering grades at Clark. I graduated in May of ‘76

Years later – in ’77 Tink found me and invited me and Val to their Thanksgiving Day Feast at the GOD for all employees past and current complete with a 40-pound turkey, stuffing, and all the fixings including a veggie alternative. And pies, pies, pies and a cheese cake, the same kind I used to get – the one that was so thick and sticky you had to cut it with waxed dental floss.

Tink made a 4-foot exact replica of Donald Duck made of solid sharp Vermont Cheddar Cheese with toothpicks holding the pieces together.

What a riot.

In 1986 the Gardens of Delights was gone… Nobody knew what happened. Prink and Tink had disappeared. Someone had said the owner of the building had raised the lease… but no one really knew.

July 20, 1969 – I remember…

I was with my family in front of a TV at my aunt and uncle’s house in Guilford, Connecticut. It was the evening/night of Sunday, July 20, 1969 – a little less than a month and a half from my 18th birthday. And a month or so from my High School Graduation. Together we watched the Apollo 11 Commander Neil Armstrong step onto the Moon.

Hearing the words of JFK calling us

“my fellow citizens”

space research science astronaut
July 20, 1969 – Apollo Moon Landing, American Men on the Moon

I watched the documentary Apollo 11 and the feelings that struck me were the unity of us as American People. We achieved something as a nation through Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins along with all of NASA that allowed us a feat in modern exploration. The shots of the people that watched the launch, hearing Walter Cronkite, anchor of CBS News brought back a feeling of solidarity.

It was the solidarity that ended the war in Vietnam, the solidarity that ignited the Civil Rights Movement, that supported Unions and hope and made us all feel that anything was possible.

Hearing the words of JFK calling us “my fellow citizens” in his 1962 speech about putting men on the moon and returning them safely reminded me that we are not cogs in a predatory capitalist machine but a part of a greater community striving for democracy. The Merriam-Webster dictionary lists citizen as:  “an inhabitant of a city or town; especially : one entitled to the rights and privileges of a freeman” I would add “free person” to include everybody beyond just men.

Seeing the films of the ticker-tape parades for Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins and the pride and love of the people for the astronauts and how we supported them as a people and a nation. I felt once again that we were the United States of America.

Let’s begin to engender those feelings of unity again.

This is my vision.

blue and white planet display
Spaceship Earth – Home – Stop Climate Change

This is my wish.

 

No fooling – The Best Career / Avocation Ever

Purpledaywave

In the beginning…

Ever since I was very young I saw my mission to help relieve suffering in the world. I wanted to be a therapist and work to relieve suffering one person at a time. I studied Psychology in college and received a BA.

I began as a counselor.

In 1990 I received a calling, a mandate from God.

One night before retiring I asked God what I was supposed to do with my life. In the morning I had a waking experience that lead me to a woman that was thinking of killing herself. I listened with acceptance and did not offer advice. I was about to give her the names of therapists and groups to which she replied:

“The universe put you out there to hear my call and that’s all I needed.”

She chose to live and is alive today.

 

Further along…

As a counselor and later as a healer I have encountered peoples’ many personal realities. As a counselor in alternative mental health facilities for over 20 years I learned to listen deeply to others problems.

In the course of that work I began to let go of judgment.

When I felt their helpless I allowed myself to feel helpless with them without necessarily saying anything. Sometimes that appeared to have helped them.

Initiation…

All my life I have had bizarre experiences that have been “out-of-this-world”. I never spoke of them for fear of being condemned and shamed as “crazy” or “weird”.

landscape nature sky person
Gateway into Wonder

When I moved to California in 1982 I felt that the land and the mountains accepted me and that I had arrived home. The east-coast Connecticut Yankee critic in me was very harsh regarding the “foo-foo” impressions and thoughts running through my consciousness at that time. I continued to engage in inner “spiritual” work and observed this new consciousness within me.

In 1984 was a bizarre time for me. I saw light running like blood through trees. I had x-ray vision into my left arm where there was blood pumping there was light. A nearby plant extended its light over that very arm. I decided I was crazy – I closed my eyes and prayed for normalcy. When I opened my eyes, everything returned to normal. For more follow the link: Connection to Nature via the Heart

A couple of months later I moved a pool skimmer that was caught-up on a wave-gutter of a backyard in-ground swimming pool without touching it – for more follow the link: Gateway into the Light

I saw a white-light come from friend’s heart to my heart about 20 feet away. I felt love and the warmth of friendship.

Not normal experiences.

Sacred privilege…

As it has always been with my work as a crisis and half-way house counselor the information shared remains confidential so it is with the many clients I have seen in my healing practice.

loveflameEternity-copy2

Clients have come for a wide array of problems ranging from a concern over future events, physical / disease problems, opening to other worlds and many more. The intimacy I share with people is very sacred to me and I feel honored and blessed to be trusted so. I have found that there is something in me that always has transcended the Connecticut Yankee skeptic and critic inside to completely accept, honor and embrace a person’s reality with kindness and compassion. This has been a great blessing.

Each person brings the gift of their dilemma and with that a teaching for me. This completes a cycle of assisting them to solve a problem or problems while receiving a teaching. The cycle of giving and receiving is completed within each session that in-turn creates many blessings for me and the world at large.

Continually letting acceptance flow from me has taught me to embrace the shadow within, and to apply love and support to the parts of myself that I dislike and fear. The cycle of acceptance is a grace from a higher place where we all long to dwell.

When I complete a session, I feel vulnerable and in a trance of higher vibrational energies. The acceptance spills out imbued with love and compassion to include others throughout the world in a new kind of inclusiveness.

The feelings evoked are indescribably joyous.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Empathic Process and Beyond

adult alone black and white blur
Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com

On this precipice of transformation the world seems entrenched in romanticizations of the past, which is producing unnecessary injustices pain and suffering beyond the pale of the ordinary.

as an empath I feel their pain

 Survival is an interesting balancing act between feeling deep anguish,pain and suffering and a retreat into rationalizations and /or other protections of the mind. The danger of a continuous retreat into the mind is a numbing of emotion. Too much emotional distress that is left unprocessed leads to overwhelm and shock, suppression recycling unconscious processes that have alternating anxiety, fear, anger and /or depressive moods to name a few a part of the emotional strategies of coping albeit unbalanced.

something happens that seems like divine intervention

When I work with people who are in pain I acknowledge their pain, its truth and being and as an empath I feel their pain. It pushes up against the pain I have felt in my life and allows me to identify and bear witness to their pain and mine. Merely by bearing witness with an open heart, suspending judgment sometime something happens that seems like divine intervention. Their pain is slowly allowed to release a little in the moment. It doesn’t mean that the pain won’t return it just means that if I hold a respectful loving and compassionate space for someone without expecting any result the pain sometimes leaves. This is miraculous. It seems divine because it has to do with a force that is invisible in our lives – the neutral space, the place of the witness.From the witness the higher vibrations of love and compassion flows through me and amazes me because – although it seems a part of me it belongs to a greater oneness that is part of the essence, core or divine self. From many years of healing work it has become easier to release judgment and accept another person’s reality completely. This has been a gift (from the mystery of the Divine).

The Divine enters and is both me and not me

Surrendering ego is the push that keeps a boundary in place that may as well be a wall and that is extraordinarily difficult to release until it isn’t. In that moment when the “I” is released all compassion, love and/or the divine that is all round as it has always been. I have kept it out, me the ego. The release of ego is so simple in the act. Getting to the place of release, of surrender, of sacrifice is gut-wrenchingly arduous. The release is sweetness and freeing.

the light of relief is experienced in all its innocence

In that momentary place of release and holding space the healing empathic forces come into play. They come through me when I step out of the way in the moment.

The Divine enters and is both me and not me, is a child of mirth and wild play; and that which is greater acting through me. Still the ego in me would like to lift the suffering from the one who is with me. I, the ego, realizes this is a disservice to the person in front of me who is suffering. I have come to see that by holding sacred space and allowing the person’s pain and suffering to run its course that they are learning a new grace and wisdom of unwinding karma and releasing their pain. I feel privileged that I can witness a birth within another as suffering and pain go and the light of relief is experienced in all its innocence.

This is one gift of the empath.

For more about my work visit:  Ontario’s The Kai

Blessings

EssenceFlameEternal
Essence of Light Within

From “Forever Young” by Bob Dylan

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you…

“God, what am I suppose to do with my life?”

was the question I asked myself before going to bed on a Monday night on February 5, 1990

loveflameEternity
Light as seen by Others

The answer led me to a life that while there was previously undeveloped and unfolded into a life of grace and blessings.

We forget that within the core of each individual is being

One of the greatest gifts or blessings in my life has been and continues to be is an ability to “see”.  I have “seen” others to the depths of their beings and they have all been beautiful.

In my interdimensional healing practice of nearly 30 years I have been blessed to see and embrace other peoples’ realities. My heart is full with that privilege of this life that has been afforded me.

In the beginning I did readings and embraced others’ realities. Then I began to work with helping others heal the blocks that stood (stand) in the way of their own light and embraced their realities.

the love is boundless

We all long to be seen, accepted and know that our presence has been acknowledged. We are hungry for that connection and may do all sorts of things distracting us from feeling that connection while thinking its out there somewhere. We see behaviors and attributes that we don’t like, loathe, hate and judge in the other. We discount and judge ourselves. We forget that the actions and attributes of the other person are surface waters and not who they are. We do not see people for who they are because we are so concerned with judging, criticizing and berating ourselves and maybe others. We forget that within the core of each individual is being.

loveflameEternity-copy2

When we are quiet enough to experience being in another we can experience being in ourselves. Then the love is boundless.

 


For further reading: The Calling

For more about my work visit:  Ontario’s The Kai

An Odyssey of Loss and Rebirth (May 2017 to May 2018)

fires

Fires of October 2017

 

I had dreams of the death of my friend Wendy former lover and good friend in early May and she had given me hints of her upcoming death over the phone but I missed them. Denial is so self-protecting at least initially.

the October fires of Northern California began

News came of Tom Petty’s death…

I got a voice mail from a good friend’s daughter on 9/28/17 about his impending death. I had known it was coming but it took me my surprise. The next day he passed out of his cancer-ridden physical body into the next life.

Wendy had died of cancer in May.

A week later the October fires of Northern California began. I evacuated, as did my neighbors – only to find that it wasn’t a mandatory evacuation as I was lead to believe by authorities on the scene. (I later learned they had moving heavy equipment – massive bulldozers into the mountains at the end of the road.). My cat and I stayed with a good friend in Windsor. I returned one day in the midst of smoke as thick as fog that not even air conditioning in my car, a mask or the interior of my house would eliminate to retrieve a few items and found a message on my answering machine to call the niece of Wendy in Canada.

The losses from the fires were and continue to be heartbreaking and devastating.

I waited until I arrived back in Windsor to call Wendy’s niece. She had gotten my letter (Wendy’s phone had been disconnected). Wendy had died of cancer in May.

My old boss was shot

The losses from the fires were and continue to be heartbreaking and devastating. Thankfully my place and my neighborhood were spared. Many homes that were completely destroyed are just now starting the re-building process. Loss and the anniversary of that loss have had us holding our breaths a bit. I felt us all sigh relief, exhaling as the rains came October first and second.

He was taken off hospice in May 2018

In December another friend passed from cancer.

My old boss was shot during the time my boss asked a question and was in critical condition for a time and then started his recovery.

A friend was put on hospice in February. I could see he wasn’t going to die that soon. He was taken off hospice in May 2018

A Native American Ritual for Bringing Rain

country-lane-field-meadow-rain

this ritual was passed on from Gregg Braden and his Native American friend.

This ritual uses multiple sensory modalities as part of a visualization tool to bring rain. Of course it can be modified to whatever you are working towards.

Remember that we are beings of Earth, our sacred home.

For any manifestation to occur a 3 bodied action to bring rain.

1. Feeling from the heart

2. Feeling from the body

3. Visualizing from the mind.

What you will need:

  • Water enough to wet dry dusty earth and parts of your skin/body (a bucket, canteen, bottles of water).
  • Bare feet (or stripped down to a shirt and underwear)
  • A towel (optional)

 

What to do:

  • Find a spot where the dirt is dusty enough to make mud
  • Sanctify the spot in the following ways. Burning white sage (if safe – no wind), humble yourself and bring in purity or setting up a crystalline grid.
  • Take off your shoes and socks
  • Pour water on the spot and make mud.
  • Put your bare feet in the mud.
  • Sprinkle or pour water over your feet
  • If you wish to manifest more rain pour water over your legs too
  • Even more water strip down to a shirt and underwear or over your clothes (isn’t this how we soaked in the rain in our clothing?) and pour water over your body.

 

The Next Waking Dream Flow of Manifestation

Feel how the water has made mud against your feet and the waters on your body. See a low front/ rain clouds having arrived overhead in the place where you and Earth thirst for rain. Feel with your heart the relief and all the other joyous emotions that rain brings in you See the rain falling and making mud and quenching the thirst of Earth. Feel the sacredness of rain.

 

Thank Earth for producing the rain (present tense). Bow to the four directions giving thanks and offering a gift of love to earth and water. Remove the crystals, re-sage the area, or with your full body, mind and heart humbly thank earth and rain.

 

Walk back to your vehicle or house and use towel.

Difficult Times – it’s not what you think.

1bgearth grids11bg

Uranus on the left and right in infrared & Earth in an EM field

 Or

The Patriarchy has Ended.            An Introduction to Higher Consciousness – Part Two

If you’re a progressive there’s a tendency to be pulled into the fray of bashing Trump. Its easy to succumb to the frustrations that the actions of Trump and the GOP / Conservatives elicit in us. When we engage in bashing we may feel better, vindicated, surrounded by others that believe as we do – as in a club of like-mindedness.

Before continuing context is important:

  • Climate Change / Global Warming / Extreme Weather
  • Dwindling natural resources
  • Explosive Advances in Technology
  • Eroding or disappearing democracy
  • Increased diseases including auto-immune diseases
  • Over-population
  • Sensory, intellectual, emotional and spiritual overwhelm
  • Income Inequality

Back to Trump and the social-political zeitgeist. On a deeper level we know that Trump really isn’t the problem at all. He’s a symptom and a very odious and obvious symptom like a giant pus-filled pimple on the tip of the nose. He’s the pimple that represents a face full of acne – the GOP, corporate greed, a nostalgic look at America before the income tax or fill-in “the blank”.

The problem has been stated in many ways much more succinctly as I am about to expound. The problem is deeper because many people in power in both political parties have ignored the needs of the people in favor of corporate donors to their campaigns.

Trump, the GOP and or lives within this perilous time represent a gestalt that is deeper and more insidious than we may have imagined. Some have chosen not to engage in Trump bashing and this is good because it is a sign of restraint based on rational thought. When we engage in Trump bashing daily we are engaging in three or more processes that are not immediately evident:

  1. We fall into the “Pit of Trump” – keeping negative attention on him is attention. He revels in any kind of attention. Negative attention can be useful in that it clearly defines:
  • A potential enemy or adversary
  • Puts people on the defensive
  • Raises the bar for irrational acts
  • Raises the bar for anger going to acting-out rage manifesting as violence
  • Justifies actions taken against protestors, suppressing voters’ rights, etc.
  • Possibly foments violence
  1. Trump represents the shadow in each of us. As he pokes at us especially those of us that bash him daily he fosters our shadow to come out in-reaction to his stuff. He becomes successful in dragging us down to his level where the bashing is all there is. In other words bashing is not followed by actions such as direct actions, organizing with others and so on. We get stuck in reacting, bashing – rinse, repeat and think of this as protest. Many of us, myself included don’t move out of the acting-out rage and name-calling -its overwhelming.

3. The patriarchy has ended energetically but socially and politically it persists. The  natural part of the process of ending of an epoch is upon us in the form represented by the caricature we have come to know as Trump. He represents a black hole of endless addictive fears of not being enough and allows us to air the “dirty laundry” of our shadow to the each other and the world. By remaining in the world of just bashing, signing a petition or two without a monetary contribution is an indulgence of shadow where the light never shines. It’s easy to fall into this place.

 

An example:

Slight changes in my job began to put me in a cycle of stress and decreasing sleep – 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night for over ten months. So I retired so I could recover and begin to work on my private practice. It took seven and a half months (until mid September 2017) to stabilize my sleep patterns and regain some health.

Then a good friend died of cancer at the end of September 2017. Two weeks later I had to evacuate due to the Northern California / Sonoma County fires. I was thrown back into shock, anxiety and disrupted sleep. Midway through the fires I got a phone message from the niece of a friend who moved back to Canada at the turn of the century who I hadn’t heard from. Because she didn’t answer her phone and then her phone was disconnected I wrote her a letter. We had been lovers and then friends for 29 years. When I got in-touch with Wendy’s niece she told me that Wendy had died of cancer in May 2017. She didn’t want anyone to know that she had had cancer. Her niece found out that she was dying by accident.

My house survived unscathed by the fires. I feel so grateful.

A man seeking revenge on another man in an adjacent town also shot my old boss. That was December 2017. He is recovering slowly in an ICU – slowly moving out of critical condition. Then another good friend in the beginning of February 2018 is now in hospice care due to a terminal lung disease. (April update – still under hospice care and improving somewhat)

I thought I had grieved, but I haven’t completed this process. Unconsciously I had been carrying around huge amounts of anger and dumping it on certain safe others inappropriately in part approved by Trump.

 

The Big Cycle

We are in the end times of the patriarch and the beginning times of the partnership. Cycles of five to ten thousand years do not end abruptly. There are no lines in space demarcating constellations from one another.

Think of the end and beginning times as analogous to a traffic light in slow motion denoting a longer time period.

The Green Light FLICKERS

  • The Green Light TURNS to YELLOW – CAUTION
  • The Yellow Light stays in – CAUTION: emotions build negativity is often displayed due to increasing impatience.
  • The Yellow Light FLICKERS
  • The Yellow Light turns to RED impatience increases more negativity
  • The Red Light impatience can be released
  • The Red Light turns to Green – a new age comes into being

 

These larger cycles of times have been described in the Vedic texts and are known as Yugas. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yuga

Add the concept of “Soul Age” into the mix of these embroiled end times. There are a number of different resources on Soul Age from the Michael Teachings to Astrology (these can be googled).

  1. The baby to young souls are survival-based peoples with a fluid moral compass. They tend to be opportunistic and self-centered. They are very driven to success and look at everything in win-lose frameworks.
  1. Middle souls live in a social context. Emotional drama may be part of their experience. They are searching for inner meaning. They are attached to emotional intensity, prosperity. While being empathic they interpret the feelings of others as they interpret their own.
  1. Older Souls have a wider perspective. They have a profound respect and acceptance of others- emotionally, intellectually and spiritual. They are working on letting go of their attachments.

The Younger Souls seems to have less choice while middle souls more choice and old souls the most choice. Younger souls push choice to the limit. Middle souls exercise choice within a social context. Old souls choose love.

 

Back to the Yugas for a Moment:

The Satya Yuga is divided into an ascending and descending arc of almost 10,000 years, though I have other sources that show it to be longer (Toltec) it was and will be a Spiritual Age where humankind in all soul ages will be able to form complete thoughtforms (http://theyugas.com/about-the-yugas/overview/overview/ see diagram after scrolling to bottom of the page of the link). The Satya (ascending and descending) are at the top of the diagram and the Kali Yugas are at the bottom. Kali is the Goddess of destruction and the Kali Yugas are the material epoch where society is in disarray. We are the cusp of the ascending Dwapara Yuga or Energy Age. But since this is the Yellow Light period in our traffic light metaphor we need to exercise caution in this in-between place. Within the structures of the Kali Yuga there is a direct cause and effect action in the world. In the Dwapara Yuga or Energy Age there is thought first then energy into action. The Treta Yuga or Mental Age – thoughtforms come into being once again.

A thoughtform is an original thought cleansed of base desires and negative emotions that is able to form a pattern with the electromagnetic field of the body that can manifest in its entirety. As humans in our current state of development; we are not able to create original thought nor are we able to craft a thoughtform on a conscious level. Many unconscious thoughtforms keep us stuck in war and violence worldwide. (For a more detailed look at the subject of thoughtforms see – https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2016/10/02/an-intuitive-look-at-thoughtforms/ )

Humans at the current level of development are not responsible for their thoughtforms. Unconscious and uncompleted thoughtforms seek out those of a lower vibration and manifest. Meaning that if we think harmful negative thoughts towards another – that are recycled from the gestalt of our world that thought will manifest willy-nilly in a lower vibration younger or middle soul and get acted out. It will probably not manifest in the person we are angry or bear ill-will towards because their vibration may not be low enough or due to the randomness of unconscious recycled though will likely go towards groups that already experience violence or where there is a war.

Humans are not advanced enough to create conscious original thoughtforms and so must enact laws to attempt a similar safeguard. In the Satya Age religion is not needed, anti-discrimination laws and laws against violence are no longer necessary because love exists in the hearts and minds of the individuals.

Higher Consciousness and Love are one. Love is just as light is. Photons of light are everywhere and in every being. Higher Consciousness includes everything including the darkness. Higher Consciousness is Knowing and Knowing is Accepting. Love accepts and allows knowing to be all.

Our vibration is not high enough to create an original thought and craft it into a thoughtform. That does not mean that we cannot work on ourselves to utilize the love in us to melt our own negativity and practice good thoughts towards others while using love to dissolve negative thinking towards ourselves and others.

Returning to the issues with Trump and the anger he evokes in me, the triggered anger about the multiple losses (deaths and death processes) I’ve experienced over the last six months and other triggered wounds from childhood – I’ve begun work on these issues in a different way.

I find it’s easy for me to go to outrage and sadness over the injustices that Trump, his administration and the GOP are foisting upon us. And I don’t want to stay wound-up inside the injustices he is dishing out by voicing outrage about it without taking positive action. For me it’s important to respond to Trump (on Facebook, or another public venue) with outrage in writing unless someone else has already written it. Then call or email my representative in the house and my two senators. Or write to the California Attorney General; call the ACLU or other agency. Budget monthly contributions to worthy causes, or a singular contribution to a candidate in favor of a progressive agenda and/or resisting the Trump agenda. Send faxes in campaigns resisting ludicrous bills before congress.

Reacting repeatedly in anger at Trump allows me to descend to the lower vibration that Trump lives and feed his agenda, keeps me tense, restricted and in fight mode – the tiredness sets in and I don’t want to do the actions that I have pledged in the above paragraph.

So I set myself to:

  • Briefly express anger at Trump et al.
  • Make phone calls, send faxes and /or emails to MoC (Members of Congress)
  • Donate to causes and candidates
  • Relax and envision a present spreading out into the future that is one of peace and justice for all (peoples – all biological beings, Earth, all so-called non-biological beings).
  • Make the love I recognize within available to those that want and/or need it (through quantum entanglement).

 

How will you be in these difficult times? What will you do to make it better?

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A final note: Jeffery Wolf Green, astrologer has a school in Evolutionary Astrology. He speaks about the change agents based on the nodes of Uranus. (Uranus is the trickster planet or revolution and evolution). People born between 1936 and now have the nodes of Uranus in the same place as those alive ( in reincarnation) during the change from the matriarchy to the patriarchy. Therefore we are The Change Agents between epochs. ?