Triggers – a personal story

corona

I’m no expert. I have lived with triggers all my life but didn’t know they were triggers until I was in my late 30s.

It was a body memory evoking trigger [that lasted] ten years

What is a trigger in terms of a psychological phenomena? Wikipedia describes:

trauma trigger is the subjective attribution that a psychologic stimulus caused someone to recall the memory of a previous psychological trauma, although the stimulus itself need not be frightening or traumatic and can be indirectly or superficially reminiscent of an earlier traumatic incident. Trauma triggers are related to posttraumatic stress disorder(PTSD), a condition in which people often cannot control the recurrence of emotional or physical symptoms,[1] or of repressed memory.[2][3][4] Triggers can be subtle and difficult to anticipate,[1][5] and can sometimes exacerbate PTSD. A trauma trigger may also be referred to as a trauma stimulus or a trauma stressor.[6]

Remembering times in my past where I had been mildly dissociated. I surmised that I may have been triggered and didn’t know it. Then there were the blackouts with substances and then without substances where triggers were most definitely involved, but impossible to identify.

I told myself that my body felt safe

One of the first pervasive triggers that I experienced lasted during all my waking hours for ten years. It was was a body memory that evoked triggers but in the beginning had no emotion attached to it and then there were fleeting feelings of sadness, grief and moments of profound depression. After those feelings passed the one that remained was rage. It was always there in the background.

The body memory was related to sexual trauma and PTSD symptoms. The specific body memory was a sensation in my jaw that someone was trying to open my mouth and I was resisting with all my might.

One of the difficulties with triggers are identifying that I have been triggered.

I told myself that my body felt safe enough to remember the trigger. Each time I noticed the body memory trigger its physical sensations and accompanying emotions I told myself that my body was releasing the memories.

One day after ten years I woke up and thought: “Something is different.” When I first acknowledged that the body memory had ceased it came back immediately. Within a few days it disappeared. It returns occasionally but is no longer a fixture in my life.

One of the difficulties with triggers are identifying that I have been triggered. Sometimes it has taken me days to realize I have been triggered especially if I feel angry or rageful with a seemingly rational reason.

The nature of being triggered flips me into being isolated because perpetrators isolated me to abuse me.

There have only been three times where I have been able to identify the source of the trigger. One was the body memory of sexual abuse, already mentioned above. I was with a client in his home. He pursed his lips a certain way and I had a visceral response of wanting to punch him and beat him up. I had to bite my tongue to calm down and restraint myself from beating him up. Why the trigger occurred was not in doubt, what it was – was uncertain.

In October of 1995 when I was driving back from having had therapy in Pt. Reyes Station I was driving under a plume of smoke from the Mt Vision fires that destroyed over 40,000 acres. The smoke made the sun red as it set. When I returned home I was inconsolably in tears. I called my therapist – why was I so upset? I had asked. “The fire is big and out-of-control just as your perpetrators were when you were young.” She suggested I use a coping tool to calm down and manage the trigger. I did.

The problems with most triggers are:

  • An environmental cue activates trauma from our past.
  • Once triggered we often enter a regressed or frozen state when we had been traumatized – and may not realize we have been triggered (a call for help to a support person or persons may be useful).
  • We may act out as a result of having been triggered. (This can be mild to major and perhaps life-threatening).
  • We may appear non-rational to others where they may shun us or they may also get triggered.
  • The desire to identify and control future triggers may consume us. Realizing this is an impossible venture is a good first step to work on defusing and working with future triggers.

The nature of being triggered flips me into being isolated because perpetrators isolated me to abuse me. So when I get triggered, especially when I don’t realize I am triggered I isolate. It was a strategy I used as a child to survive. It may or may not have worked very well but when I am triggered and don’t know I am triggered it remains my “go-to” strategy.

Thinking about what “just happened” and analyzing it with the thought that “If I can figure it out I can – know what happened to me; – I can prevent it from happening again.

Thinking was what I used as a child from inside the trauma to survive is a habit. But it doesn’t necessarily work very well to solve the emotional trigger of the trauma. Its one of the ways I perpetuate remaining isolated and lost in a regressive or frozen state of trauma from the past.

Its good to have a preemptive plan to deal with triggers in advance so we can get the help we need until we reach a place where we can deal with triggers more effectively.

This is where a therapist can assist or a self-help guide.

I have found that when I know that I’m triggered that I tell myself I am ready to handle it because I’m aware that I’ve been triggered. However if I’m triggered but am not yet aware of it, I know that I feel stuck, agitated, and/or distressed emotionally I try one of the following options:

  • I reach out for support
  • I ask for feedback
  • I ask for help
  • I sit with my feelings and try to identify what they are before taking any action.

This is just a sample and in no way is what I recommend.

What I do recommend is for you to come up with your own safety plan for dealing with emotional upsets, stuck places and triggers.

[NOTE: I was triggered by my partner when we were hiking Mount Tamalpais (in Marin County California). I told her. She wanted to take responsibility by wanting to know what she had done to trigger me. I told her I didn’t know and that it wasn’t her fault. I told her that I just wanted her to know in case she felt me pulling away from her during my process of the trigger and using my safety measures. I’m not sure she understood and decided not to tell her again if I had been triggered due to her response.

Often in dysfunctional relationships we put responsibility on others for our emotions. This is a reaction that does not make another responsible for our response. We have feelings. In relationships – couple therapy is a good idea to help resolve interpersonal communications and dysfunctional dynamics. Individual therapy can be useful too.

When a trigger brings up a feeling in one person and that one person blames another for their trigger – this is an incorrect understanding of a trigger. Conversely of a non-triggered person enters into an interaction with a triggered partner for example especially if the triggered person is unaware they have been triggered then a mess ensues. If the triggered person becomes aware they have been triggered and the non-triggered partner attempts to intervene – to fix the situation then what occurs still could result in a mess.

One possible way to prevent a trigger from creating a mess would to speak with your partner about your triggers. Explain to them they are in no way responsible for the emotional reactions they – the triggered person, may have and that they may need:

  • space
  • try to be patient – wait
  • for the non-triggered person not to make assumptions
  • know they are in no way responsible for having been triggered.

A Short Story: Rump, Impeachment and the 2020 elections

wethepeople

America will need healing on a massive scale

Here is a short science-fiction story: Some time back I made a prediction based on visions that were revealed to me that Rump would leave office in June of 2019.

https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2017/12/01/vision-and-the-headline-reads/

Fact or Fiction?

Recently that changed and I saw him completing his term.

That lasted until today when I received new information that the impeachment process will begin on June 1, 2019. When it nears completion in August or September (or during its process) it’s likely that Rump will do one of the following:

  • Create or foment a crisis to sway the impeachment vote and invoke Marshall Law
  • Have a medical emergency and leave office
  • Leave office before the final vote but not resign
  • Resign and be pardoned by Tence
  • Arrange for an “accidental” death of a Senator
  • Be the first president to be impeached.

If Rump is nominated to be re-elected the impeachment process would be catastrophic to his re-election bid.

Nevertheless America will need healing on a massive scale.

Composite Beings – Part Two

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The higher vibrational being (HVB) who enters may remain as an observer for a time before it produces a noticeable event in the child’s or adolescent’s life. Fractured or alternative personalities already exist within the host due to traumatic events that are often on going. A DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) is a coping strategy that some individuals use to deal with extremely impactful traumatic wounds. HVBs are attracted to those suffering from DIDs and look for ways to mesh with the wounded individuals that provide a modicum of strength, protection and may be utilized for aspects of integration in a therapeutic healing process.

Self-acceptance is very important in the healing process.

Just as traumatic events produce fractured wounds and decimate the individual into separate personalities to manage aspects of the trauma the Higher Vibrational Being seeks to augment managing personality parts with positive past, current and parallel realities and lives to support the individual in a wider context. Once the individual begins to incorporate the HVB neuronal patterns, and experiential fragments of the wider context then a cognitive frame can be created with the original organizing self for more effective administration of the wounded personalities for healing.

the HVB may produce synchronistic events that appear “magical” or have extrasensory phenomena

The HVB and the various fragmented parts can come together more quickly and can either be reintegrated into a healing self or co-exist cooperatively with one another. Self-acceptance is very important in the healing process. Finding a therapist and /or a shaman-interdimensional healer who works towards unconditional acceptance of the DID / HVB synergy is extremely important for healing and for future work. [NOTE: not all DID individuals have a HVB entree]. The shaman and/or interdimensional healer can offer a community for the wounded individual with a HVB to be accepted into gracefully.

It’s also possible and likely that the wounded individual will not notice the HVB until the individual has worked towards reintegration and /or a peace cooperation or coexistence between the alternate personalities. When recognition occurs there has been enough work to raise the vibration of the individual as well as integration between the HVB and at least one of the conscious core selves.

Awareness of a high vibration being is a tricky affair.

 Until the time of recognition the HVB may produce synchronistic events that appear “magical” or have extrasensory phenomena associated with an incident or incidents. The presence of an HVB within a person with a dissociative identity disorder or fractured selves does not necessarily guarantee automatic healing. Therapeutic work on a psychological level must occur as well as somatic treatments and inner work as in a spiritual practice or some semblance thereof.

Awareness of a high vibration being is a tricky affair. If the HVB reveals itself before a context has been established and the ego of the host is not strong enough to handle the impact the individual may be prematurely diagnosed with additional psychiatric disorders such as schizophrenia. Medication could destroy the host’s identity as well as extremely hinder the effectiveness of the HVB to carry out its mission.

[NOTE: Amalgamated Beings are several HVBs fused together that take human form bypassing indigenous humans in the reincarnation process.]

Composite Beings – Part One

spacewave1

A number of years ago in the 1980s the term “walk-in” gained popularity especially with new age thinkers. Ruth Montgomery first coined it in a book published in 1979: Strangers Among Us [1].

peaceful co-existence between the dissociative parts and personalities or a hunger for integration.

Walk-Ins were high vibrational beings who replaced “souls” that wanted to leave due to personal trauma [1]. Later in the 1980s and 90s the walk-in name was expanded to include a permanent or temporary stay by the higher vibrational being and/or sharing knowledge with the individual host [2].

Composite Beings have been with us before our current written history

However when knowledge and experience are shared between the original host and the higher vibrational being there is a blending. This is a Composite Being. Usually the single “walk-in” experience was obscured or cloistered from the host for many years until an urge for healing becomes oriented towards either peaceful co-existence between the dissociative parts and personalities or a hunger for integration.

Composite Beings have been with us before our current written history and occur for a variety of opposing reasons:

The Host (receptive vessel):

  • Is an old soul in the cycle of reincarnation
  • Has had single or numerous severe traumatic events and/or losses in childhood or adolescence
  • Has responded to trauma with a Dissociative Personality Disorder strategy over time
  • In the multiple dissociative states including Alternate Personalities there is a great longing for unification and/or peace and balance.

 

A Higher Vibrational Being (active vessel):

  • The Higher Vibrational Being is an older soul than the host
  • Has a karma/dharma link with the receptive vessel or host
  • Provides a unifying personality feature and strength of character needed by the host
  • The Higher Vibrational Being is on an active mission that allows healing to occur for the host while healing energies spill over to humanity at large directly and/or indirectly
  • The Higher Vibrational Being’s mission besides healing may extend to other areas.

 

The Neutral Vessel is Planet Earth.

 

Composite Beings are attracted to one another whether or not they are aware of the composite blending within themselves for the purpose of awakening and healing.

Once a fractured personality strategy is acknowledged in the conscious ego of the host where the Composite Being is acknowledged and recognized and healing begins other Composite Beings are attracted to one another on a higher vibrational level for the purpose of their missions.

When awakening begins to blossom within the Composite Being other Composite beings on the same or higher vibrational frequency are drawn to each other. The other Composite Beings are on a continuum of self-discovery where they may assist or be assisted by each other for the purpose of healing and fulfilling the individual and collective missions.

 

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walk-in

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walk-in

[2] http://www.crystalinks.com/walk_ins.html

 

The Luckiest of Days: Friday the 13th

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Sacred Day: Friday April 13, 2018 at 13:13:13 GMT

History

The patriarch authority in the form of Christian monks demonized all Goddess worship in order to suppress and replace pagan rituals.

Friday or the Goddess Freya was called unlucky by the Christian authority because it was a day of the sacred female divinity. Friday the 13th was made to be unlucky because it was associated with the 13th month of the year in the Menstrual Calendar. [1]

In many religions Friday was (is) considered the 7th day of the week and is the most sacred day.

Fish was eaten on Fridays as a fertility right, which was later absorbed into a Christian ritual. [1]

The Church in Europe used the Julian calendar. Peasants used the Menstrual or Goddess-Given calendar. The Lunar calendar was 13 months of 28 days each, each week being 7 days. (13×28=364 plus 1) – was the Menstrual Calendar that conformed to the cycles or phases of the moon namely:

  • New
  • Waxing
  • Full
  • Waning

The Moon cycles correspond with a woman’s menstrual cycle thus the Menstrual Calendar. [2]

Chinese women established a lunar calendar about 3,000 years ago dividing the stellar sky into 28 “mansions” that the moon transversed. The Great Mayan calendar had first been based on “her menstrual cycles”. The word “mensis” is Latin for month, Greek, Middle English and High German – moon. [2]

No one knows – as in a documented sense where this suppression and demonization of woman / the Goddess arises. Astrologer Jeffery Wolf Green writes about the end of the matriarchy and beginnings of the patriarchy in his astrology books. The male rebellion against the Goddess appeared to contain the seeds of the hatred and repudiation of the feminine within a patriarchal dominated culture.

Green states (am I am summarizing and paraphrasing) that women believed that spirit – the divine worked through men to delivery the seed for children to come into the womb of women. Men were superfluous vessels for the seed to be carried. The seed or sperm did not originate with men it originated in the divine feminine and men were hollow vessels in service to the Goddess. The matriarchy raised children in a group setting, there was no family with a man as the leader. All property was held communally. There was no need for weapons of war, no armies, no defense against invaders because everyone lived this way for a few thousand years. [3]

Green states that men became increasingly angry over time and began to over throw female leadership in a violent acting-out manner of raping, pillaging and murder on a massive scale. [3]

What evolved out of that was the family. The man was the leader and the owner of woman and children. I would be remiss if I didn’t write about the legacy of anger that each man holds over women, other men and children as well as dominion over “the earth”.

Some men continue to act-out this anger in the context of the patriarchal system without any self-awareness. Other men have or are continuing to struggle to examine the legacy of anger and the anger within themselves to find a cause for it and work on resolving it responsibly as it arises.

Until more men can and do step forward individually and as a group to own the accountability and responsibility for crimes against the other outside their gender then the legacy of anger will continue. This hard-wiring of anger is oppositional to all the principles of the matriarchy and the divine-feminine.

  • The matriarchy held all life as sacred with horizontal leadership
  • The matriarchy held all property communally.
  • The matriarchy treats property with equal rights and equal access.
  • The matriarchy held earth as a sacred being of the divine

 

  • The patriarchy holds the yang principle as supreme with hierarchical leadership.
  • The patriarchy holds only the elite or upper class as property owners.
  • The patriarchy is entitled to subjugate and enslave lower classes as property
  • The patriarchy in its rebellion against the matriarchy treats earth as an object to be used and consumed in a hierarchical matrix

 

 

Friday 4/13/18 at 13:13:13 Universal Time (1:13 pm GMT London, England)

The Divine Feminine Numbers:

Friday as the 7th day of the week represents constant rapid change

Four represent a foundation to be built upon

13 – the 13 months of the lunar year or menstrual calendar

2018 – 2 + 0 + 1 + 8 = 11

11 is Justice and/or a master number for building the new.

 

The Tarot Numbers:

 

month – 4

date – 13

hour (in military time) – 13

minutes – 13

seconds – 13

last two digits of the year – 18

equals – 74

add – (20 – the beginning two numbers of 2018) 2 + 0 + 7+ 4

equals – 13

add 1 + 3 = 4

 

Major Arcana:

13 is Death or Transformation (the Divine Feminine Principle)

4 is The Emperor – a principle of growth through a foundation of conflict seeking resolution

 

 

Astrology:

[All degrees in the chart (see illustration) are rounded up one degree if the number – not in bold is 1 minute or greater.]

13-13

Patriarchal Authority is highlighted and exhaled in authoritarianism. It is poised for a yang-based transformation triggered by a revolution of self. Patriarchal authority continues to go through a cycles of death and rebirth and this same authority is transforming the divine feminine. Goddess energies are making spiritual and emotional connections to the world community. Goddess energies are most likely to reveal an abundance of secrets set to transform the world of authority aka the patriarch. Communications and thinking are likely to be intense and in conflict seeking resolution with authority.

1. The Woman’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets,  Barbara Walker “Friday” pg 325-326

2. The Woman’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets,  Barbara Walker “Menstrual Calendar” pg 645-648

3. Pluto: The Evolutionary Journey of the Soul, Volume 1, Jeffery Wolf Green

Difficult Times – it’s not what you think.

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Uranus on the left and right in infrared & Earth in an EM field

 Or

The Patriarchy has Ended.            An Introduction to Higher Consciousness – Part Two

If you’re a progressive there’s a tendency to be pulled into the fray of bashing Trump. Its easy to succumb to the frustrations that the actions of Trump and the GOP / Conservatives elicit in us. When we engage in bashing we may feel better, vindicated, surrounded by others that believe as we do – as in a club of like-mindedness.

Before continuing context is important:

  • Climate Change / Global Warming / Extreme Weather
  • Dwindling natural resources
  • Explosive Advances in Technology
  • Eroding or disappearing democracy
  • Increased diseases including auto-immune diseases
  • Over-population
  • Sensory, intellectual, emotional and spiritual overwhelm
  • Income Inequality

Back to Trump and the social-political zeitgeist. On a deeper level we know that Trump really isn’t the problem at all. He’s a symptom and a very odious and obvious symptom like a giant pus-filled pimple on the tip of the nose. He’s the pimple that represents a face full of acne – the GOP, corporate greed, a nostalgic look at America before the income tax or fill-in “the blank”.

The problem has been stated in many ways much more succinctly as I am about to expound. The problem is deeper because many people in power in both political parties have ignored the needs of the people in favor of corporate donors to their campaigns.

Trump, the GOP and or lives within this perilous time represent a gestalt that is deeper and more insidious than we may have imagined. Some have chosen not to engage in Trump bashing and this is good because it is a sign of restraint based on rational thought. When we engage in Trump bashing daily we are engaging in three or more processes that are not immediately evident:

  1. We fall into the “Pit of Trump” – keeping negative attention on him is attention. He revels in any kind of attention. Negative attention can be useful in that it clearly defines:
  • A potential enemy or adversary
  • Puts people on the defensive
  • Raises the bar for irrational acts
  • Raises the bar for anger going to acting-out rage manifesting as violence
  • Justifies actions taken against protestors, suppressing voters’ rights, etc.
  • Possibly foments violence
  1. Trump represents the shadow in each of us. As he pokes at us especially those of us that bash him daily he fosters our shadow to come out in-reaction to his stuff. He becomes successful in dragging us down to his level where the bashing is all there is. In other words bashing is not followed by actions such as direct actions, organizing with others and so on. We get stuck in reacting, bashing – rinse, repeat and think of this as protest. Many of us, myself included don’t move out of the acting-out rage and name-calling -its overwhelming.

3. The patriarchy has ended energetically but socially and politically it persists. The  natural part of the process of ending of an epoch is upon us in the form represented by the caricature we have come to know as Trump. He represents a black hole of endless addictive fears of not being enough and allows us to air the “dirty laundry” of our shadow to the each other and the world. By remaining in the world of just bashing, signing a petition or two without a monetary contribution is an indulgence of shadow where the light never shines. It’s easy to fall into this place.

 

An example:

Slight changes in my job began to put me in a cycle of stress and decreasing sleep – 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night for over ten months. So I retired so I could recover and begin to work on my private practice. It took seven and a half months (until mid September 2017) to stabilize my sleep patterns and regain some health.

Then a good friend died of cancer at the end of September 2017. Two weeks later I had to evacuate due to the Northern California / Sonoma County fires. I was thrown back into shock, anxiety and disrupted sleep. Midway through the fires I got a phone message from the niece of a friend who moved back to Canada at the turn of the century who I hadn’t heard from. Because she didn’t answer her phone and then her phone was disconnected I wrote her a letter. We had been lovers and then friends for 29 years. When I got in-touch with Wendy’s niece she told me that Wendy had died of cancer in May 2017. She didn’t want anyone to know that she had had cancer. Her niece found out that she was dying by accident.

My house survived unscathed by the fires. I feel so grateful.

A man seeking revenge on another man in an adjacent town also shot my old boss. That was December 2017. He is recovering slowly in an ICU – slowly moving out of critical condition. Then another good friend in the beginning of February 2018 is now in hospice care due to a terminal lung disease. (April update – still under hospice care and improving somewhat)

I thought I had grieved, but I haven’t completed this process. Unconsciously I had been carrying around huge amounts of anger and dumping it on certain safe others inappropriately in part approved by Trump.

 

The Big Cycle

We are in the end times of the patriarch and the beginning times of the partnership. Cycles of five to ten thousand years do not end abruptly. There are no lines in space demarcating constellations from one another.

Think of the end and beginning times as analogous to a traffic light in slow motion denoting a longer time period.

The Green Light FLICKERS

  • The Green Light TURNS to YELLOW – CAUTION
  • The Yellow Light stays in – CAUTION: emotions build negativity is often displayed due to increasing impatience.
  • The Yellow Light FLICKERS
  • The Yellow Light turns to RED impatience increases more negativity
  • The Red Light impatience can be released
  • The Red Light turns to Green – a new age comes into being

 

These larger cycles of times have been described in the Vedic texts and are known as Yugas. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yuga

Add the concept of “Soul Age” into the mix of these embroiled end times. There are a number of different resources on Soul Age from the Michael Teachings to Astrology (these can be googled).

  1. The baby to young souls are survival-based peoples with a fluid moral compass. They tend to be opportunistic and self-centered. They are very driven to success and look at everything in win-lose frameworks.
  1. Middle souls live in a social context. Emotional drama may be part of their experience. They are searching for inner meaning. They are attached to emotional intensity, prosperity. While being empathic they interpret the feelings of others as they interpret their own.
  1. Older Souls have a wider perspective. They have a profound respect and acceptance of others- emotionally, intellectually and spiritual. They are working on letting go of their attachments.

The Younger Souls seems to have less choice while middle souls more choice and old souls the most choice. Younger souls push choice to the limit. Middle souls exercise choice within a social context. Old souls choose love.

 

Back to the Yugas for a Moment:

The Satya Yuga is divided into an ascending and descending arc of almost 10,000 years, though I have other sources that show it to be longer (Toltec) it was and will be a Spiritual Age where humankind in all soul ages will be able to form complete thoughtforms (http://theyugas.com/about-the-yugas/overview/overview/ see diagram after scrolling to bottom of the page of the link). The Satya (ascending and descending) are at the top of the diagram and the Kali Yugas are at the bottom. Kali is the Goddess of destruction and the Kali Yugas are the material epoch where society is in disarray. We are the cusp of the ascending Dwapara Yuga or Energy Age. But since this is the Yellow Light period in our traffic light metaphor we need to exercise caution in this in-between place. Within the structures of the Kali Yuga there is a direct cause and effect action in the world. In the Dwapara Yuga or Energy Age there is thought first then energy into action. The Treta Yuga or Mental Age – thoughtforms come into being once again.

A thoughtform is an original thought cleansed of base desires and negative emotions that is able to form a pattern with the electromagnetic field of the body that can manifest in its entirety. As humans in our current state of development; we are not able to create original thought nor are we able to craft a thoughtform on a conscious level. Many unconscious thoughtforms keep us stuck in war and violence worldwide. (For a more detailed look at the subject of thoughtforms see – https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2016/10/02/an-intuitive-look-at-thoughtforms/ )

Humans at the current level of development are not responsible for their thoughtforms. Unconscious and uncompleted thoughtforms seek out those of a lower vibration and manifest. Meaning that if we think harmful negative thoughts towards another – that are recycled from the gestalt of our world that thought will manifest willy-nilly in a lower vibration younger or middle soul and get acted out. It will probably not manifest in the person we are angry or bear ill-will towards because their vibration may not be low enough or due to the randomness of unconscious recycled though will likely go towards groups that already experience violence or where there is a war.

Humans are not advanced enough to create conscious original thoughtforms and so must enact laws to attempt a similar safeguard. In the Satya Age religion is not needed, anti-discrimination laws and laws against violence are no longer necessary because love exists in the hearts and minds of the individuals.

Higher Consciousness and Love are one. Love is just as light is. Photons of light are everywhere and in every being. Higher Consciousness includes everything including the darkness. Higher Consciousness is Knowing and Knowing is Accepting. Love accepts and allows knowing to be all.

Our vibration is not high enough to create an original thought and craft it into a thoughtform. That does not mean that we cannot work on ourselves to utilize the love in us to melt our own negativity and practice good thoughts towards others while using love to dissolve negative thinking towards ourselves and others.

Returning to the issues with Trump and the anger he evokes in me, the triggered anger about the multiple losses (deaths and death processes) I’ve experienced over the last six months and other triggered wounds from childhood – I’ve begun work on these issues in a different way.

I find it’s easy for me to go to outrage and sadness over the injustices that Trump, his administration and the GOP are foisting upon us. And I don’t want to stay wound-up inside the injustices he is dishing out by voicing outrage about it without taking positive action. For me it’s important to respond to Trump (on Facebook, or another public venue) with outrage in writing unless someone else has already written it. Then call or email my representative in the house and my two senators. Or write to the California Attorney General; call the ACLU or other agency. Budget monthly contributions to worthy causes, or a singular contribution to a candidate in favor of a progressive agenda and/or resisting the Trump agenda. Send faxes in campaigns resisting ludicrous bills before congress.

Reacting repeatedly in anger at Trump allows me to descend to the lower vibration that Trump lives and feed his agenda, keeps me tense, restricted and in fight mode – the tiredness sets in and I don’t want to do the actions that I have pledged in the above paragraph.

So I set myself to:

  • Briefly express anger at Trump et al.
  • Make phone calls, send faxes and /or emails to MoC (Members of Congress)
  • Donate to causes and candidates
  • Relax and envision a present spreading out into the future that is one of peace and justice for all (peoples – all biological beings, Earth, all so-called non-biological beings).
  • Make the love I recognize within available to those that want and/or need it (through quantum entanglement).

 

How will you be in these difficult times? What will you do to make it better?

———————————————————————————————————–

A final note: Jeffery Wolf Green, astrologer has a school in Evolutionary Astrology. He speaks about the change agents based on the nodes of Uranus. (Uranus is the trickster planet or revolution and evolution). People born between 1936 and now have the nodes of Uranus in the same place as those alive ( in reincarnation) during the change from the matriarchy to the patriarchy. Therefore we are The Change Agents between epochs. ?

 

Overcoming Advertising

time

Or

Underlying –Whims, Goals and Aims ———–An Introduction to Higher Consciousness Part One

Since we have egos we are awash in a sea of whims (sounds like little mythic creatures, doesn’t it?). Whims are the driving force behind advertising, capitalism, money and inequality. There are no escaping whims. The only hope is recognizing whims as they arise and being at choice.

Whims then are much like the pursuit of happiness.

Whims arise from curiosity and can come from a creative urge within us. The arising of whims within us may not come from ego but when we pursue a whim then trouble may ensue because ego is most often the pursuant. Whims then are much like the pursuit of happiness or just the pursuit of most anything.

The formula of ego, whims, most monetary systems and inequality is a finite formula in a zero sum game resulting in diminishing returns.

When we engage in pursuit we assume a lack within. We separate ourselves from our innate happiness or our curiosity in order to find it. This seems counter intuitive. This is the way of ego and a linear space-time reality. Our language and ego – intertwined reflects a separation of the self from a desire for something. Ego, whims, capitalism and money produces gaps between a beginning coming from nothing – initiating a step,  a middle – an action and an end achieving something. The formula of ego, whims, most monetary systems and inequality is a finite formula in a zero sum game resulting in diminishing returns. [In mathematical theory a zero-sum game is always competitive and results in winners and losers – see https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zero-sum_game] This kind of finite system is a breeding ground for greed, possessiveness, fear / paranoia, oppression, isolationism and ultimately an apocalyptic ending of humanity.

leads to the ultimate ending – the apocalypse.

The a priori supposition of this finite zero-sum game base does not allow for the sacredness of being. All the finite players become obsessed with having more and as a result of the diminishing return emotions based on an infinite non-zero sum game such as love, empathy, compassion are removed so the focus on more grows more intense. Addictive behaviors to satisfy the charge in winning ultimately fail due to diminishing returns. The people driven by this model cease to recognize being, treat others and themselves as things including the bounty of Earth and Earth as being. Using people and resources in this manner leads to the ultimate ending – the apocalypse.

On the other end of the spectrum aims arise from the infinite and are couched in systems of cooperation and interdependence.

An infinite non-zero sum game is about the win/win and is based on interdependence with regard to increasingly complex societal systems. Survival of the human species on Earth is an infinite non-zero sum game because humans and all biological and non-biological beings are sacred and must cooperate in order to survive. Put in another way this is a system of Love connecting and including all beings in a sacred manner.

Returning to whims in the context of capitalism we can see that the variety of instruments of this money making system are in the business of generating conditions for whims to foment in buying frenzies. Advertising under psychographics or strategies to target consumers based on data mining for lifestyle, personality, attitudes, beliefs etc.

Aims belong to the infinite.

On the other end of the spectrum aims arise from the infinite and are couched in systems of cooperation and interdependence. An aim has no beginning and no end. Aims belong to the infinite. An aim that continually renews me and helps align me to the path of the divine that flows within me is: to relieve suffering. I could work towards this aim for the rest of my life and never be finished.

Being is that which is. Being transcends space and time.

Aims arise from being. What is being? Philosophers and mystics have grappled with defining and/or describing being. Being is that which is. Being transcends space and time. Words, because they arise from a linear time-space reality systems cannot describe the depth, breath and the divinity of being. Once we attempt to solve a mystery we bring it out of the realm of the unknowable and destroy its essence. Being is analogous to mystery.

surrendering into the divine

Discovering being is about surrendering into the divine, releasing ego if only for a moment and embracing a wider higher consciousness. There are no pat formulas or teachings that can assist the student in discovering being.

Goals are the bridges between aims and whims. Goals have beginnings, middles and ends. They can arise from the infinite or the finite. Aims can be expressed in goals, but goals cannot be adequately expressed in aims. Whims tickle the edges of goals.

Part of the problem with whims and advertising is the appeal to the ego in a finite mindset. A well-developed being sees advertising as a finite whim based game. Being can assist us in noticing whim as a momentary desire of ego for a temporary drug-high of fleeting happiness and remind ego of the lasting happiness within.

The real work of letting go of attachment to the temporary or fleeting desires of ego begins. Oppositional thinking and action with regard to advertising produced whims can help us resist corporations that use psychographics to sell stuff to us. For instance if you see an ad on the internet that sparks your interest in the moment – ignore it. Most likely we forget about the spark. Advertising repeats the tease in an effort to get you to click on the link. Again, ignore it and wait. Does the tease persist?

If the tease persists ask yourself:

  • How does following this whim support my aim? If it does not leave it behind – release the attachment.
  • Is the whim a distraction that detracts from my long-term or immediate purpose? If so, release it.
  • Where does the whim exist on my list of priorities? Low, middle or high? If its high, use a pen or pencil to write it down. Don’t pursue it immediately. Decide on a time to look or investigate the product, service or experience. If its middle or low let it go and move on.

 

If you don’t know what your purpose is then meditation could assist you in uncovering it within yourself and this takes time. If meditation is not your thing, explore a book, schedule a session with an astrologer, a metaphysical advisor or a shaman to assist you in finding your purpose. Or if that’s not appealing look into your past, your childhood and see what inspired you as a child, as an adolescent etc.

If you know your purpose you can choose to surrender to it or allow other interests to direct you. Or let whim tickle you down the road. Whim could be wasting your time, but maybe you will decide that’s okay.

discovering my purpose and surrendering into it.

Just know that when you impulsively click on some thing or other the data miners come along and start developing a profile on you to sell you stuff. Most browsers collect data – Chrome being notorious for it. Apple announced it would not be data mining on its last major re-boot of its Safari browser.

I’m not anywhere close to an expert on this subject. Check out Wired Magazine for more info on this subject and possible Mozilla Foundation whose makes the Firefox browser.

When I was younger I was on fire to find “the Truth” and this evolved into finding “my truth” which lead to discovering my purpose and surrendering into it. I worked hard and surrendered into spaces of grace where I was blessed by the divine.

When people write about the divine or God or the Creator they separate this force or urge from themselves. My experience of the divine is a force that transcends ego and yet is inseparable from me, from my being. But as soon as I try to claim it – the “I”   – my ego destroys that lightness of being that connects me from the higher expression of myself.


My most favorite non-fiction book of all time – about creativity, play and boundless possibilities transcending small minded greediness is James Carse’s Finite and Infinite Games.

Here in PDF:

http://wtf.tw/ref/carse.pdf

breaking the Rules

Every family makes rules. Some of these rules are well stated, some are not and both represent good values and living for the most part.

Plate

For as many stated rules and values there are many more meta-rules (unspoken rules) that often contradict each other and are passed on generationally. Some of the inter-generational rules may blend with regional rules.

be invisible

When I was 21 years old my Aunt passed away. She was in her 40s. I went to my bedroom in my childhood home and cried for twenty minutes. When I emerged to be with my stone-faced parents watching television they treated me like a weirdo (all unspoken).

For more on the New England mindset: https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2017/03/07/exploring-perception-a-new-england-mindset/

In 1990 I changed part of my name to rid myself of a suffix – junior. I had considered the change for ten years but had decided against it because I knew my father’s feeling would be hurt and discounted my feelings. When I put myself in the equation I broke a big rule.

My father’s influence in my life was both positive and negative mixed together. Sometimes it was possible to disconnect one from the other and sometimes not. In retrospect I see how my fears of punishment from my father were transferred onto the authority of the county courts and to a lesser degree the DMV.

It was my own fear of my father’s (wrath) authority

In November of 2017 I broke another family meta-rule, which states roughly: work hard, don’t draw attention to your self and be invisible in the world at large. I ordered a “specialty license plate” or more commonly known as a vanity plate – the 1960 Legacy plate with dark brown background and yellow lettering. It took nearly ten months to decide to order one. Feelings began to arise that I was doing something wrong, that I would be punished for drawing attention to myself.

It was my own fear of my father’s (wrath) authority – even though he passed on my 55th birthday in 2006 that helped create the following events:

On the DMV website they wrote that it would be a maximum of 12 weeks before a Vanity plate could be in my possession. When those 12 weeks passed I called the DMV and found it was a 3 to 4 month wait.

I received a notice that the plate had arrived at the designated DMV office so I made an appointment on-line. A few days later I received a summons to jury duty. Jury duty fell in the same week as my appointment. Would I have to reschedule my DMV appointment, would there be enough time? The info I received from the DMV indicated that I would have to pick-up my plate within 30 days or I would not get it. A good friend reminded me that I was complaining and that I could stand in line like everybody else.

I regressed into a super anxious sixteen year old rebelling…

I had to inform my clients with appointments for the week of March 12th through the 16th that I had to be on-call for jury duty. Except for one emergency appointment all other appointments were cancelled or re-scheduled.

I was directed to call the info line each evening after 5 pm to find out whether I would be called in for jury duty on the following day. I called Sunday evening for Monday – no jury duty. I called Monday evening for Tuesday – no jury duty. I spoke to a person Tuesday afternoon who said that my number was high and it was likely I wouldn’t be called – so I would be off the hook by Thursday evening. I called Tuesday evening for Wednesday – no jury duty.

…I became my father and went into authority – lording it over another.

Wednesday I kept my DMV appointment and I did stand in-line until I saw a sign that read: “appointments this line only” and went into a different line – a shorter line – got a number – waited more and was able to finish my DMV business in an hour and get my plates.

I had lessons to be learned. I learned them the hard way.

I called Wednesday evening for Thursday. – no jury duty. I called Thursday evening for Friday – and was told to call back on Friday between 11:15 am and noon for “reporting instructions”. I felt my chain was being yanked at that point. I called Friday during the appointed time – and I was finally freed from jury duty. It wasn’t just the waiting it was the anxiety of dealing with two government agencies (authority figures aka my arbitrary father) that triggered crazy emotions in me. I regressed into a super anxious sixteen year old rebelling against authority and not winning. I feel sad for that sixteen year-old kid.

Being visible is a strange feeling

It didn’t stop there. The following week I became my father and went into authority – lording it over another. That incident ended in tragedy to which I bear my part in the interaction. And I had brought it on myself. I had lessons to be learned. I learned them the hard way.

As a automobile driver I am fairly responsible, either driving responsibly or going with the flow. Its difficult and dangerous being around drivers who are behaving irresponsibly with their cars and I usually move into a defensive posture with high awareness. Driving with the new plate I picked up on others judgments and also emotions of curiosity too. I checked myself for becoming arrogant while driving because I was “entitled” with my vanity plate and let go. Being visible is a strange feeling.

I am still working with my emotions around being visible with the new plate. It’s a process

The Demi-Date or Half (Shadow) Birthdate

FullNewMoonDemi-Day is your Half-Birthdate (Shadow Birthdate).

Add six months to your birthdate and Eureka –your Demi-Day. Demi means half in French. Demi Day is literally half-day and in this context Demi Day is Half-Birthday. I’ve been using it for years to assist those in celebrating the golden and dark shadows as a way to acknowledge “the other”. And our Demi-Days or Demi-Dates are good days to celebrate, have a party or go out to dinner while honoring the shadow.

My father was a diatriber with a vengeance and had to be right.

We’d like to think that we include all others in our lives, but really that’s impossible other than in a divine metaphysical manner. There are toxic others that we eliminate from our daily presence or “unfriend” on Facebook. Then we may have friends that have characteristics that we don’t like, find irritating, grating and/or annoying at times.

At one point in my life I was massively irritated around those that talked non-stop until I realized that I did this also, from time to time – also known as pontificating or the dreaded diatribe. My father was a diatriber with a vengeance and had to be right. When met with opposition after his diatribe (of righteousness) he would threaten or become combatively violent.

two gunslingers in a draw a shoot out in the street

A great assist in my understanding of the demi-day has been my study of astrology. People are often satisfied with a reading of the Natal (Birth) Chart – “Okay that’s who I am, wow,” or “I knew that.” As readers you probably know your Sun Sign. The sign opposite your Sun Sign is 6 months away. If your Sun Sign is Leo then your opposite is Aquarius and so on:

Taurus —————– Scorpio

Gemini —————- Sagittarius

Cancer —————- Capricorn

Leo ——————– Aquarius

Virgo —————– Pisces

Libra —————– Aries

Each opposite sign could be your golden shadow – all that your project on the other that is good and wonderful; or your dark shadow where the opposite sign becomes that which you shun because it represents all that is darkness and subterfuge. Yet opposites attract holds meaning. In astrological talk to many hard angles in relationship with the other (as in romance, marriage, business etc. – opposites, squares, inconjuncts (also called quincunxes) and sometimes conjuncts can mean the destruction of that relationship. Softer or more harmonious angles bring in the glue that binds relationships together (trines, sextiles and sometimes conjuncts).

Balancing oppositions may require a center, a neutral place within…

Opposites between planets in our own charts are the most difficult to deal with and if you reading this it means that you’re managing it. But what are opposites? The dictionary gives these choices: “diametrically different, an antagonistic position, contrary to one another or to a thing specified” * Another way of looking at the oppositional angle a 180 degree angle in Astrology is through enemies engaged in battle, lawyers arguing a court case or two gunslingers in a draw a shoot out in the street. The opposition is the most difficult to deal with both outside ourselves and in internal struggle. Balancing oppositions may require a center, a neutral place within and/or a witness self.

A Demi-Date Astrology Reading

Diplomats search for common ground between opposing parties when the energy for fighting and warring becomes less. The common ground could be a midpoint between the two views. In astrology this is the angle called a square – a 90-degree angle. This is still a conflict and yet it is a conflict that seeks continual resolution – a growth angle.

I am developing a Demi-Date Astrology reading to understand your shadow and help you develop a way to work with it through celebration and spiritual growth.

The and place of your birth determines your Ascendant or Rising Sign and then determines your house placement and what planets are in each house. The first house is the house of the self. The opposite house – the seventh house is the house of “the other” or the not self. This is another “place” of looking at an exploring shadow. And finally one could look at your Shadow-Return – the place the Sun returns to each year that is opposite your natal sun.

In the meantime find someone that you find irritating and hang with them and celebrate your annoying differences just for fun. Party on…

A Daily Plan

  1. images
  2. The Flush: a ten to fifteen minute rant on Trump, make it funny if possible
  3. Data: gather data on FLIPPING CONGRESS AND THE NATION, PLUS legislation to support or oppose.
  4. BREATHE
  5. ACTION PART ONE: look at legislation to oppose and / or support make 3 phone calls and send emails – 1 member of House of Reps and 2 Senators preferably in your state to start.
  6. BREATHE
  7. ACTION PART TWO: look at budget and who and how much to contribute to candidates (progressive and/or Dems guys*) opposed to GOP agenda and contribute
  8. BREATHE
  9. ACTION PART THREE: make report on social media

BREATHE!

* guys – womens, mens, androgynous-es, transgenders, gays, lesbians, genderqueers, asexuals and everybody else.

PS This is not about real soup you eat or slurp. This is about the soup we’re in. Hope that clears things up. Tuff if it doesn’t.