Northern California Wildfires – October 2017

I am struck by the stillness – feelings of people hunkering down and lost. I felt the sadness and fears of others and I felt my own fears and sadness. I felt a stillness and silence within me and in my surrounding space – it felt good and cosmic in my core surrounded by loss.

Then there is the power of the fire – to consume and how frail I am in the face of it. I am humbled by the power of nature, the impermanence of life. I feel my attachment to it and my attachment to my stuff.

 I drove to the store in the smoke this evening (10/9/17).

 The first feelings of the stillness feels good and then it is immediately followed by shock, loss, grief and fears. Soot falls like bizarre snowflakes in the day and at night. By day soot is snow-like and at night it could be mistaken for mist.

At the supermarket people seemed slowly rushed and disembodied as if somnambulates wandering in shock on short forays for survival.

And the fires burn on…

 

Over 100 wildfires are still burning and firefighters first priorities have been to rescue people and then work on containment.

 

 

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“I Made a Mistake, I Apologize.”

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In April of 1983 I was living at Eden Square Apartments in midtown Stockton, California. Parking was on the street. I had moved there in November of 1983.  I had moved to the Big Valley in 1982 from the east coast where I was unfamiliar with the kind of parking described below.

I parked on East Acacia – a side street. The front entrance was on El Dorado around the corner.

A guy started shouting at me and pointing at the street. At first I paid him no heed and continued to walk away.

“Hey you, Guy! You parked wrong.” He was yelling at me.

I stopped and looked at him.

       “What?”

He jabbed his arm / finger towards my car and shouted:

“You parked wrong.”

“Its how I always park,” and started to walk away.

“You see those lines painted on the street?”

“What?”

He pointed to the lines painted on the street. I looked.

“They’re there for a reason, buddy,” he was boiling mad.

The lines on the street were like a grid.

Duh, I got it.

 

 “Sorry, didn’t see it. Didn’t think to look. I’m sorry. I’ll move my car.” I got in and moved the car to in-between the lines.

 

            This guy was suddenly my best friend. Immediately his mouth dropped. He invited me to join him at Gold’s Gym- below my apartment building. I respectfully declined.

            He shook my hand and thanked me.

 

 

 

Dealing with Acute Physical Pain

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Originally Published: April 25, 2010

 

Acute pain is the body’s way of healing.

When an injury occurs our natural response to pain is to recoil and resist. One time I remember loosing my footing and twisting my ankle. My initial reaction was to tense up against the pain, but then I remembered something else. I sat down, relaxed my ankle breathed into and released the pain. There was no pain or swelling, just some tenderness that went away with walking.

Another time I was doing a wah-wah on my fingers where I had touched a hot light bulb without thinking. Then I remembered – duh – I can heal this. I went into the pain and released it outside my body – there was no burn, no blister and no redness.

When our bodies produce acute pain and inflammation in response to an injury the self-heal of the body is working. We can assist that process in a number of ways one that I have already described above.

 

  • Anti-inflammatories such as ibuprofen and other pills are useful – so take them in addition to alternate techniques.

 

  • Sending cold to the effected area can numb the pain.

 

  • I recommend venting the pain/heat and bringing in a kind of cooling purple gel like a purple-jello to soothe the effected area. This can reduce and /or eliminate the pain all together or reduce it.

 

  • Sometimes the pain can be lifted from the body and then floats in the auric field.

 

Chronic pain is another story.

Negative Emotions – part one of two

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What is the function of negative emotions? Why do we have them?

The seven deadly sins not withstanding negative emotions originate from our earliest beginnings and are built for our biological survival from immediate danger.

The seven deadly sins – put forth by the theology of the Roman Catholic Church are immersed in judgment and morality, but worth a look:

  • Pride (pride is a good emotion when not excessively indulged in creating hubris) Hubris is excessive pride where the “prideful” person is often divorced from reality and has an overly confident stance
  • Greed – a desire to possess more than one needs and seems to be addictive (greed for money – excessive wealth, power, status or the acquisition of things)
  • Lust – excessive desire for an experience or thing, mostly lust for sex, but could also be lust for power, another addictive emotion.
  • Envy – a desire to have what another has which can destroy the person experiencing this emotion due to possessiveness / greed (also addictive)
  • Gluttony – over indulgence in food and drink (also addictive)
  • Wrath – or anger / rage and when accompanied with violence is a volatile emotion (also can be addictive)
  • Sloth – laziness or apathy related to depressive emotions.

The Seven Deadly Sins or Negative Emotions particularly greed, lust, envy, gluttony, hubris and wrath appear to arise out of addictive emotional / somatic elements that are substitutes for the lack of love and the bond of love needed for children. Sloth may arise from depressive emotions.

It would appear that hubris, greed, excessive lust, wrath and envy are extremely addictive emotions that arise from maladaptive behaviors within society and whose basis derives from avoiding fears.

Part of the purpose emotions involves how humans become attached to life on earth. This process may be likened to an attachment, an identification and / or addiction to the experiences of life. More on the function of emotions in an evolutionary process in Part Two.

I think its safe to say that we as humans have experienced one or more the seven deadly negative emotions at some point in our lives.

If someone tells you your having negative emotions then they are putting judgments on you and shaming you for emotions that are common to us all. But wait – what they are really doing is judging you for expressing so-called “negative” emotions in an ineffective manner that is often called “acting-out”. Negative emotions expressed negatively are quite common because we have little to no emotional education and may be furthering the cause of make negative emotions increasingly negative.

~

Many people of “new age” view negative emotions as unwanted and bad. These emotions must be expunged or eradicated and replaced by positive feelings through affirmations, meditation etc. They often believe that the ego is bad and is associated with negative emotions and that the divine self or egoless self promotes only positive emotions. When the “negative emotions” are cut loose then a belief develops that the ego is functioning on an increasingly positive vector. This “cutting loose” of negative emotions may be an illusion based on a belief that the power of the mind (over matter) – over negative emotions when the emotion may have gone underground through denial, repression or suppression. This “new age” line of reasoning is based on many faulty assumptions that will be explored in part two.

Negative emotions may produce a fight or flight response. When no immediate danger is present then the acting-out expression of negative emotions often repel others. Negative emotions are not always wanted and sometimes abhorred. Many a time I have heard clients and acquaintances say: “I want to get rid of this feeling.” This kind of thinking is based both on a desire to focus only on positive emotions and avoid negative ones and a basic flaw in our emotional education albeit informal. A misunderstanding of the functions of all emotions, positive, negative, mixed feelings and neutral feelings creates a stigma around negative emotions. The result is a misunderstanding of the function of negative emotions and a disservice to our growth and evolution.

There is a unspoken bias in our civilization that emotional states are divided into two groups so feelings can be reduced to the simplest terms for understanding. However this creates a trap so that negative emotions are seldom addressed effectively.

Some values of Negative and Positive Emotions

negative

positive

unwanted wanted
unpleasant pleasant
shunned exalted

Emotions, especially negative emotions are usually expressed through stories especially amongst those of with no formal emotional education. Storytelling usually serves the function of describing the emotion without naming it and it justifies the storyteller in feeling a certain way adding morality such as I am right for feeling this way and it implies that the other person is “wrong” for feeling another way in the context of the story. In stories emotions are not left to stand on their own. Morality, judgments, rationalizations and justifications are attached to emotional states in an attempt to make one person better than another, the other being “the cause” of the emotional state – often negative.

Venting is a common storytelling morality play that serves in keeping the venter stuck in feeling and recycling the negative emotion as part of a cognitive belief.

Often it is through venting with / to another (or with our self) that many negative emotions become apparent and may be released however this is not so often the case. Venting doesn’t solve the source of the negative emotion it only lets it out to air. The underlying dysfunction from the past remains unsolved and venting begins again. This can take a variety of forms. Complaining is one kind of rift that is a kind of venting filled with storytelling ripe with frustrations, self-reproach and self-pity. I had a friend that would seek me out to vent about her relationship and ask for advice. She would paint herself as a victim: feel guilty, self-pitying and frustrated. She would ask for advice and I offered advice. Rinse-repeat. She never followed my advice. For a while I just listened. She repeatedly asked me what she should do. Finally I told her – I didn’t know and that I couldn’t help her and that she could seek therapy.

Repeated venting is often a rational justification for negative feelings through storytelling. Often the emotion is not expressed directly. The story has to do what the person has done and what was done to the person and a justification of righteousness. Repeated venting becomes an addiction. The justification for being right is separate from feelings (cognitive dissonance) and keeps the venter from taking action thus keeping people in the place of venting. This is especially true with regard to anger and rage. The emotion inflates the self of self and is linked to thinking of being right. When an injustice becomes evident many of like-mind become angry and the venting begins. Becoming angry / rageful over a perceived injustice may often be warranted and the anger may be an acting out that does not achieve justice. Venting is the result. Many of the group doesn’t take action or if they do there is no immediate result so more venting is warranted. When venting recycles enough it becomes addictive and no actionable results are produced.

Anger and/or rage may be the one negative emotion that may be wanted because it fuels righteousness and a sense of power over others and can be very addictive and abusive. Historically anger comes from the fight principle in defending the self from immediate danger. In our daily social politics those that display anger and / or rage do so from “acting-out” behaviors that may be adult tantrums that are refined or unrefined. Seldom I have seen anyone arousing anger in them selves as an effective emotion. Those that are acting-out their angers are impossible to avoid unless we run from them. Intervening with someone who is acting-out anger or rage is potentially dangerous due to the possibility of violence.

My father enjoyed baiting me into arguments so he could dominate me with his premises and make me bad, wrong and stupid. During the Vietnam war I constantly argued with him. I asked my lover during that time to assist me with the debate.

I said: “I feel all war, all killing is wrong.”

He said: “We have to defend our allies against the Commies.”

She said: “A feeling is a feeling. Its not right or wrong, it just is.”

From that point on I was able to diffuse all of my Father’s attacks (unless he had been drinking) by identifying his premise and either disagreeing with it or ask him if he meant to hurt my feelings with his argument.

This curtailed his yelling at me that I was bad wrong or stupid and we engaged in playful joking or conversations about the weather.

Many of us have been trained to believe that others are responsible for our emotional state. “You make me so mad,” and other similar statements allow us to remain children without power. Certainly our emotions may be triggered to arise from the unpleasant manifestations of others.

Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements speaks to others emotions and judgments. The second agreement:

Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

 

An honest approach to emotional expression may look something like this:

“I feel angry right now and I realize this is in no way your fault. I was triggered when you did such and such. If you’d like to assist me in processing my feeling that’s okay. Otherwise I’ll just sit with the feeling myself.”

Obviously this is ideal. When we come from environments where acting-out negative emotions and behaviors are modeled its difficult to make a transition to taking responsibility for or emotions.

In Part Two the function and necessity of negative emotions are discussed as a part of the way towards mastery.

Learning for The Sake of Learning

 

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Neptune- dreams and visions made

A tribute to one of my earliest mentors and good friend John White.

When we entered his classroom he wrote “Learn for the sake of learning” on the blackboard and he fostered an insatiable quest for life-=long learning that is on going.

He was hired at Cheshire High School in 1965 and fired when I was a senior in 1969. He was my sophomore and junior English Teacher and he recommended me for an honors fiction class – Themes in Modern Fiction. He was fired when I was a senior. He counseled classmates who were taking acid trips and refused to turn them over to the principle. In turn the principle was planning to turn the names over to the police so arrests could be made.

After I graduated John and I became friends. He helped me through some very rough times in the early seventies.

John published an anthology called: The Highest State of Consciousness. We talked at length about consciousness and about using drugs like LSD for spiritual awakenings. We discussed meditation and altered states. He listened as I relayed two experiences I had had about feeling Earth as One and all beings as beings of light. John spent time in Palo Alto California helping Astronaut Edgar Mitchell organize the Institute for Noetic Sciences. When I was a senior in college representing the Psychology Honors Fraternity I put together a three-day symposium entitled Higher States of Consciousness. John was instrumental in connecting me with the key players like: Robert Ornstein, Charles Tart and other consciousness researchers for a three day symposium on Higher Consciousness hosted at Clark University where I was a student and faculty and students were invited from Holy Cross and Assumption College.

While in California he was an agent for a non-fiction book that never sold. He retired from being an agent just as I was about to put a new book out to market. He advised self-publication through Amazon or a similar venue.

for more on John W. White:

http://prabook.com/web/person-view.html?profileId=358582#

 

 

Charlottesville and the Downside of The Solar Eclipse

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The eclipse is the shadow of the moon obscuring the light of the Sun on the Earth. Shadow elements of the blockage of the Sun (in late Leo – proud heart of love) is bringing forth its opposite hate, fear and violence to be released.

The god of war – Mars is also associated with action and leadership – on the high side and anger, violence and aggression on the low side. Mars is a (male) yang planet. Mars in Leo can be pushy and dynamic and is associated with the eclipse, part of the shadow.

The impulsive/ dark side violent energy of Mars in Charlottesville was fueled by Moon in Aries wildly impulsive prone to emotional outbursts.

The shadow of fear and hatred has come to light. One of the perpetrators has lost his job. Others are under investigation for their crimes.

The Illinois State Legislators have proposed a law:

http://reverepress.com/news/illinois-senate-passes-bill-label-white-supremacists-terrorist-organization/

Covering the Bases on August Total Solar Eclipse – 2017

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INTRODUCTION

In 999 AD there was a total solar eclipse in Southern Europe. The combination of the ellipse with the calendar – the upcoming 1000 AD produced interesting effects. Many people believed the world was going to end. Farmers stopped tilling their fields. Many people gave property and “worldly possessions” to The Roman Catholic Church.

There was a famine

On New Year’s Eve 999 many huddled in churches waiting for the end. When nothing happened many demanded what they had given to the church back. The Church Fathers said no. There was a famine and the middle/business class collapsed. It took Middle Class took ten years to rebuild.

Many succumbed to a similar hysteria around the Y2K virus. A friend never recovered from going into debt in preparation for the collapse and has been looking into conspiracy theories for new collapses.

Endings and beginnings are based on the invention of language that feed ego.

Astrologers and the current eclipse are predicting big changes and transformation. There is a need in a culture based in capitalism for events and a cellular desire / fear-aversion for endings (also built into Judaeo-Christian and Islamic philosophy). Endings and beginnings are based on the invention of time and language that feed ego functions in us all. While eclipses occur four to seven times per year – both solar and lunar. Solar and lunar eclipses are approximately two weeks apart from one another.

A Solar Eclipse both total and partial are positions of the Moon in front of the Sun casting a shadow on Earth. A Lunar Eclipse is the shadow of Earth that blocks the Sun from illuminating the Moon. The symbology of eclipses or metaphors  in Solar Eclipses – unconscious or “the dark side” of personality / inner self comes to light and in Lunar Eclipses – unconscious or “the dark side” of emotions come to light – because we observe the process.

The Astrologers I have read so far regarding the eclipse event do NOT predict exact events. It’s all rather vague, claiming transformation. There are some reasons for this:

  • Modern Astrology doesn’t predict events
  • Astrological transits (planets, the Sun and Moon in relationships with one another and/or with natal – or birth charts or progressed charts of persons, entities – the USA for example) are parameters of possibility.
  • Parameters of possibility don’t predict events per se. Parameters are about limits and a way of prescribing sets of variables within a set, in a formal manner.
  • Parameters of possibility can fall High, Medium or Low probabilities
  • Parameters of possibility can be interpreted from a Transcendental Perspective, from a Conscious Perspective or an Unconscious Perspective.
  • Whether our experience falls within the parameters of possibilities depends on too many factors, but if we were to list the salient factors they might be:
  • Choice, will, and decision
  • Soul age
  • Hazard / luck
  • If an astrologer were to predict a specific “fearful” event and they proved to be correct then is a self-fulfilling prophecy dictating the process may have occurred. No person or astrologer would want this responsibility.
  • If an astrologer were to predict a specific “positive” event and it proved to be correct then others would look to this astrologer for past and future replication of this “educated guess”. And /or consider them “psychic”.
  • If an astrologer predicts a “positive” but vague and seemingly magical future event then there is usually no way to determine whether it actually happened or not from a common perspective.

BUT

According to astrological cycles the new moon / solar eclipse (August 21, 2017 at 18:30 UT, 2:30 pm EDT, 11:30 am PDT) are about new beginnings having to do with revealing the shadows of the emboldened ego /self. (Trump’s chart relates strongly to this eclipse – more later on that.)

a new world could be opening into a shared power base

Astrologically the obvious major influences are the release of shadow elements regarding authority and a revolution. This could portend a shift of power in the world – ie the USA being dethroned as the top of the heap of the Superpowers and / or a healing of that power.

Communication will be intense (as in negotiation – perhaps) – Mercury in retrograde and fraught with possible deceptions and/or lofty ideals as a one-world government etc. – Neptune (ideals / spirituality, illusions and delusions) opposite Mercury.

Regulus – a “fixed” star has been in Leo for the last 2,000 years and has recently enter Virgo. Regulus – meaning royalty and those that serve royalty (the patriarchy) has moved into Virgo – innocence and healing bounded by a spiritual community.

This looks to be a time of stand-offs that are painfully entering a new time of healing.

Trump could get a karmic kick in the butt

Looking at this as a key opening a lock: a new world could be opening into a shared power base. In other worlds the patriarchal hierarchy is gone and this new way of a community of shared power is emerging. It could be felt in how all our relationships work – assuming you don’t take the role of the parent or child and instead become a peer.

 

RON

Trump’s natal chart reflects his impulsivity and his karma. This eclipse could reveal his shadow and end up with a karmic kick in the butt.

Recent Violence with Astrological Correlatives

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London, Washington, DC, San Francisco, CA

INTERPRETATION:

Revolution and unpredictability blended with warlike / warrior energy fueled by an intense authoritarian backdrop with an eye towards a bold and perhaps narcissistic future.

Combine this with disembodied emotions in service to a grandiose indecisive expansiveness and connected to trying to hold everything together by doing the impossible.

Planets and Aspects:

Uranus and Eris TRINE Saturn (in retrograde) on one side and TRINE North Node on the other (Saturn in retrograde and North Node TRINE)

Sun TRINE Moon TRINE Jupiter TRINE Sun

Two inverted Grand Trines one in Air and one in Fire – not quite a Star of David but close.

 

 

Empathic Protection

Originally published May 21, 2015 and updated June 3, 2017

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Most children are empaths. Many people are empaths and sometimes this is a matter of degree. If we begin to think as the empathic ability as a continuum then sometimes people are highly empathic – highly sensitive and sometimes less empathic perhaps due to circumstance and/or better boundaries. However in every social group there may be one or more empaths that may function as checks for both conscious and unconscious emotional patterns within a particular group.

A client who was an empath asked me how she could keep out “bad energy” or “negative feelings”. How could she protect herself? This is a good question. No one who is an empath stays in a feeling place all the time. We go into our intellect as a way of protecting ourselves from the suffering of the world and from our own suffering.

Emotion is analogous to flowing water.

No one can stay in the heart one hundred percent of the time without breaking down. The best parts of ego allow us to balance emotions with the intellect. It is possible for an empath, stuck in fear for example, to begin to rationalize judge and exclude others shifting themselves from the heart into the mind and using the intellect as a fortress against emotions. A person overwhelmed with emotion could be fearful, defensive and react in anger if they are unaware of the empathic abilities. Other empaths may seem to attract nothing but negative energy from others (see Shadowcatchers below) and this may originate from being scapegoated as a child and accepting the role as an adult. Balancing mind and emotions requires attention and the use of thinking to identify emotions in others and our selves. Once we engage the mind to identify emotions we can develop a plan of action to help us cope with others’ feelings (see example below).

Most people who are empathic sponges would like to keep bad stuff out and let only the good stuff in, that’s only natural.

 

The best defense for empaths is flow.

 

Let it flow through you. A metaphor for flow of emotions is a fast flowing stream, waterfall or river. Emotion is the empaths currency. Emotion appears, we sometimes process it and then it goes. Empaths ability to feel others’ emotions and identify these emotions can be developed into a skill and can trigger responses in empaths that remind us of woundings from the past. As soon as you realize you are triggered remind yourself that you wouldn’t be able to recognize the trigger unless you were ready to deal with it.

If the empath can answer these questions when feeling others’ emotions then protection becomes simplified somewhat:

  1. Does this feeling I’m feeling belong to me? (Does it originate with me?)
  2. If YES, decide whether to deal with it in current time or postpone it until you can deal with it.
  3. If NO, then either let it flow through you quickly and ground it down into Molten Core of Earth, or offer it to be burnt up in the sun, or create a column of light to the left or right of you and put the emotion or set of emotions in the column of light.
  4. If MAYBE, it’s likely that the emotions that you’re feeling are similar emotions than the persons or persons producing them and you have lessons to learn here or you feel triggered. Ask that Spirit separate your feelings from the others and then deal with the feelings from the others as you would in #3 and /or in #1.

Many times the four-question method above may not be possible. When we encounter others’ emotions we may be overwhelmed with their emotions. Their emotions may trigger similar emotions in us. Part of our abilities as empaths is recognizing the common threads of emotion that bond humans together. Two common emotions that humans feel are grief and love. Feeling love in another or in others feels good. Feeling grief can be problematic. Part of the problem is that grief can spawn feelings such as sadness, anger / rage and these can turn into depression sometimes. Recognizing when you are triggered and dealing with the trigger is a first step at diffusing overwhelming emotions.

There can be two kinds of empaths for the purposes of this piece.[1] If you are reading this and feel you are an empath then you are on the path of a Conscious Empath. However there are unconscious empaths. These people become overwhelmed without knowing the reasons and sometimes blame others or become depressed. Their childhood traumas may be so complicated and their self-images so solid with walls instead of boundaries that their empathic abilities overwhelm them and prevent them from seeing triggers. They cannot process the overwhelming emotional onslaught without help. Usually some of these people feel they don’t need help.

You may also be a Shadowcatcher.

You may be a magnet for others shadows. Shadowcatchers may be absorbers of others unconscious projections. Essentially a shadowcatcher feels the shadow of another or shadows from groups. I noticed this when I was a participant in a healing circle. The facilitator asked for loving and healing energies from the group through coming forward – for a laying-on of hands or from our spot in the circle. Immediately I felt a surge of resentment and anger that was overwhelming. It happened many times until I realized what I was feelings was not coming from me. And as soon as I grounded it out I felt the love and was able to participate in the healing circle.

Sensitive people always attract less sensitive people to them especially if one or both parties are not conscious of their sensitivities. In psychology this is called Projective Identification.[2] Our culture often brands sensitive people as “weak” when in fact the opposite is true. I grew up in a stiff upper-lip Yankee family where tears were rarely shed. My Mother would shame me for my tearful behaviors by saying – “You’re too sensitive.” Often it was she who was projecting feelings onto me that I could express and then she would shame me for having done so because she did not want to acknowledge the feelings in herself. When sensitive people become aware of their sensitivities and can name their feelings and take responsibility for them with “I feel” statements then merely on the psychological basis feelings can be owned and the blame/shame game can be reduced.

If you are an empath that becomes infected with the shadows of others and these shadows blend with your emotions, then problems can become severely compounded. As a child and survivor of ritual sexual abuse that had been repressed I was severely depressed and passively suicidal for all of my teen years. When the memories of abuse began surfacing in my 40s I was able to begin to deal with the feelings and slowly work through the most arduous territories of the abuse. Every person on the planet has grown-up in a dysfunctional family to one degree or another. If you played the role of an empath in your family and that particular family was highly dysfunctional and negative then its likely that you may be carrying your family shadow and are acting out what had been passed on to you. There are three paths of approach that may help with your healing:

 

  • A daily spiritual practice that includes working on developing a non-judgmental and compassionate observed of your behaviors, thoughts and emotions (feelings)
  • Therapy
  • A visit to a healer to assist in removing possible ancestral beings stuck in your electromagnetic field.

 

I have been engaged in a daily spiritual practice for over 40 years and more intensely during the flashbacks of the abuse.

 

 

[1] The range of empathic abilities: https://lonerwolf.com/what-type-of-empath-are-you/

 

 

[2] Shadowcatchers in psychological terms: http://drs-oleary.com/Projective_Identification.htm