July 20, 1969 – I remember…

I was with my father in front of a TV at my aunt and uncle’s house in Guilford, Connecticut. It was the afternoon of Sunday, July 20, 1969 – a little less that a month and a half from my 18th birthday. And a month or so from my High School Graduation. Together we watched the Apollo 11 Commander Neil Armstrong step onto the Moon.

Hearing the words of JFK calling us

“my fellow citizens”

space research science astronaut
July 20, 1969 – Apollo Moon Landing, American Men on the Moon

I watched the documentary Apollo 11 and the feelings that struck me were the unity of us as American People. We achieved something as a nation through Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins along with all of NASA that allowed us a feat in modern exploration. The shots of the people that watched the launch, hearing Walter Cronkite, anchor of CBS News brought back a feeling of solidarity.

It was the solidarity that ended the war in Vietnam, the solidarity that ignited the Civil Rights Movement, that supported Unions and hope and made us all feel that anything was possible.

Hearing the words of JFK calling us “my fellow citizens” in his 1962 speech about putting men on the moon and returning them safely reminded me that we are not cogs in a predatory capitalist machine but a part of a greater community striving for democracy. The Merriam-Webster dictionary lists citizen as:  “an inhabitant of a city or town; especially : one entitled to the rights and privileges of a freeman” I would add “free person” to include everybody beyond just men.

Seeing the films of the ticker-tape parades for Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins and the pride and love of the people for the astronauts and how we supported them as a people and a nation. I felt once again that we were the United States of America.

Let’s begin to engender those feelings of unity again.

This is my vision.

blue and white planet display
Spaceship Earth – Home – Stop Climate Change

This is my wish.

 

No fooling – The Best Career / Avocation Ever

Purpledaywave

In the beginning…

Ever since I was very young I saw my mission to help relieve suffering in the world. I wanted to be a therapist and work to relieve suffering one person at a time. I studied Psychology in college and received a BA.

I began as a counselor.

In 1990 I received a calling, a mandate from God.

One night before retiring I asked God what I was supposed to do with my life. In the morning I had a waking experience that lead me to a woman that was thinking of killing herself. I listened with acceptance and did not offer advice. I was about to give her the names of therapists and groups to which she replied:

“The universe put you out there to hear my call and that’s all I needed.”

She chose to live and is alive today.

 

Further along…

As a counselor and later as a healer I have encountered peoples’ many personal realities. As a counselor in alternative mental health facilities for over 20 years I learned to listen deeply to others problems.

In the course of that work I began to let go of judgment.

When I felt their helpless I allowed myself to feel helpless with them without necessarily saying anything. Sometimes that appeared to have helped them.

Initiation…

All my life I have had bizarre experiences that have been “out-of-this-world”. I never spoke of them for fear of being condemned and shamed as “crazy” or “weird”.

landscape nature sky person
Gateway into Wonder

When I moved to California in 1982 I felt that the land and the mountains accepted me and that I had arrived home. The east-coast Connecticut Yankee critic in me was very harsh regarding the “foo-foo” impressions and thoughts running through my consciousness at that time. I continued to engage in inner “spiritual” work and observed this new consciousness within me.

In 1984 was a bizarre time for me. I saw light running like blood through trees. I had x-ray vision into my left arm where there was blood pumping there was light. A nearby plant extended its light over that very arm. I decided I was crazy – I closed my eyes and prayed for normalcy. When I opened my eyes, everything returned to normal. For more follow the link: Connection to Nature via the Heart

A couple of months later I moved a pool skimmer that was caught-up on a wave-gutter of a backyard in-ground swimming pool without touching it – for more follow the link: Gateway into the Light

I saw a white-light come from friend’s heart to my heart about 20 feet away. I felt love and the warmth of friendship.

Not normal experiences.

Sacred privilege…

As it has always been with my work as a crisis and half-way house counselor the information shared remains confidential so it is with the many clients I have seen in my healing practice.

loveflameEternity-copy2

Clients have come for a wide array of problems ranging from a concern over future events, physical / disease problems, opening to other worlds and many more. The intimacy I share with people is very sacred to me and I feel honored and blessed to be trusted so. I have found that there is something in me that always has transcended the Connecticut Yankee skeptic and critic inside to completely accept, honor and embrace a person’s reality with kindness and compassion. This has been a great blessing.

Each person brings the gift of their dilemma and with that a teaching for me. This completes a cycle of assisting them to solve a problem or problems while receiving a teaching. The cycle of giving and receiving is completed within each session that in-turn creates many blessings for me and the world at large.

Continually letting acceptance flow from me has taught me to embrace the shadow within, and to apply love and support to the parts of myself that I dislike and fear. The cycle of acceptance is a grace from a higher place where we all long to dwell.

When I complete a session, I feel vulnerable and in a trance of higher vibrational energies. The acceptance spills out imbued with love and compassion to include others throughout the world in a new kind of inclusiveness.

The feelings evoked are indescribably joyous.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Consciousness and Memory in a Quantum Reality

two multicolored slinky toys

 

Memory Inside

When science describes our brain and memory there seems to be a mechanized reductionism at work.

memory as recall

Science states that memory is stored in our brain, specifically at the synaptic transfer between neurons. When we experience something new, new synapses are formed as a part of making new memories.

What if the reverse is true?

Memory is retrieved through our brains, our body and emotions from memories in constant flux in what we have previously referred to as “the past”. Even memories in “the future” are available to us but the constraints of language and the misperceptions of time create blocks to so-called future memories.

there is no past

Could all memories, including our own be everywhere?

 

Recall Waves

Better to re-frame memory as recall.

Our attachment to the concept of memory as originating in “the past” is so strong and our automatic response to the concept of memory is rarely questioned. Past and future are illusory because recall of the past “in the past” is present as recollections of past events. There is no past. Recall of “the future” never happens because the technology of our written and spoken language dissects relationships into distinct packets of information, subject / nouns, descriptors / adjectives, actions / verbs. The English language is based on separation of objects / nouns linked by change agents / verbs. This way of organizing language is coordinated with the actions of linear space-time namely – past, present and future. The idea that future events could be recalled as memories is alien to us – it is fantasy or science-fiction because future and past are objectified and separated based on the invisible technology of language.

We are thinking of the present as a pass-through point, so it becomes just as illusory as past or future.

Since “the past” does not exist and is really a continuous wave of the present and the future doesn’t exist either because it belongs to one continuous wave of energy.

 

An Exploratory Venture into Recall of the Continuous Wave of Presenting

Our attachment to “the past” and objectifying all that we experience makes recall of past memories easy to see as events as we experience in them in the present. When we approach experiencing “the future” in the same way we experience “the past” blocks automatically appear.

Present-ing

The problem isn’t with “the past” or “the future”, its with “the present”. The present isn’t static. We are thinking of the present as a pass-through point, so it becomes just as illusory as past or future. Instead of past, present and future we are in one continuous presenting wave that includes what we have previously separated into past, future and present.

most spoken and written languages are predicated on separation

Present-ing as a continuous wave makes the past and the future irrelevant and taken one step further makes the singularity of human experience backwards and non-relevant. We think of ourselves as separate from other selves and from others in the present-ing wave. Even our human life from birth to death is experienced as separate from death or an unknown or other lives – as in past lives, future lives etc.

Its logical that many humans do not experience a daily reality based on oneness and compassion due to the perceptual filters of separation.

All human life as perceived through most spoken and written languages are predicated on separation. Other forms built on language within the civilization construct support separation such as, the patriarch epoch, ownership, monetized trade, social classes, religions, democracy, communism, fascism and capitalism to name a few. The nature of separation besides strengthening strong egos and rugged individualism are reinforced through a variety of structures within civilization as listed above. The perception of separation through the tech of language are extensions of the technology of language and its perceptual off-shoots of linear space-time. Language rewires the neocortex to perceive the interactive world as separate and inflates an egocentric position of separation creating a circular reinforcing dynamic with almost all structures within civilization. Civilization is a co-conspirator with language to reinforce the separation reality.

Stepping out of separation into a “present-ing wave” reveals the real-world expressing consciousness through the screeners of separation and through the oneness of love and compassion. Its logical that many humans do not experience a daily reality based on oneness and compassion due to the perceptual filters of separation. Instead there may be holes in the fabric of separation dynamic where a larger reality or consciousness breaks through much like sunlight appearing to breakthrough cloud cover.

We are this wider reality or greater consciousness being expressed through the perceptual filters of ego and separation. In short separation and ego are illusion and stand in the way of what we already have – happiness, fulfillment, oneness and enlightenment.

Present-ing is experienced in two modes: 1. Separation is released in the moment to experience a greater consciousness that does not make sense under the rules of separation reality; and 2. Love and compassion are experienced as a transcendent experience to the Oneness that supports separation consciousness.

 

Memory in the context of released separation

In this mode our experience is one where magic or an “ah-ha” is felt.

Writers, artists and entrepreneurs that seemingly “come up with a brilliant idea” only to find that someone else has already completed, the novel, the painting, the movie or the product already.

When I was fifteen years old I wrote a short story about a group of scientists that boarded a small submarine that was miniaturized and injected into the President of the United States to repair a valve in his heart. A week later Life Magazine published Isaac Asimov’s “Fantastic Voyage” with photographs from the film. I felt immediately angered – thinking he had robbed me of my ideas until I realized that he must have conceived of the idea long before I had thought of it.

Then where did my story originate? I concluded that his idea and my idea came from a collective consciousness.

Around the same age I had had a dream where my sister and I were in a town along the coast of Connecticut. There was a storm and flooding. I broke into the basement of a church hall that had been converted into a museum where we could have shelter from the storm.

Three weeks later we (my father, mother, sister and me) visited the church in Stonington, Connecticut on the shore by the Long Island Sound. It was a museum inside. My father asked me where the bathroom was. I gave him complicated instructions on how to get there. He told me that I knew where it was because I had been there. I said – “No, I just know.” My father didn’t believe in anything but math, science and engineering. He found the bathroom where I had said it was.

The practice of quieting the mind may lead to a feeling of peace.

In the 1990s I had an idea to make turnip, parsnip, yam and sweet potato chips after having deep-fried up a few batches. This would be a good business to get into. Three months later I was in a upscale supermarket and found a manufacturer had already made these kinds of chips. I told myself it was not a good idea to turn all my ideas into businesses because; where’s the fun in that?

Picking a shared idea or having a premonition from a dream are examples of memory in the context of released separation. They happen to all of us spontaneously from time to time.

 

Memories of the future

Memories of presenting…

Since the future is an illusion and we can begin to experience time as present-ing then memories can begin to expand into a lifetime of the present-ing experience.

recall of experiences from an on-going present-ing or a wave of time that has no beginning and no end

In meditation mindfulness is the vehicle to quieting the mind. The practice of quieting the mind may lead to a feeling of peace. A continuing practice begins to peel back the layers of our stream of consciousness whose content is one of whim and attachment. The illusion of ego and separateness begins to fall away revealing the being that resides in each of us. Love and compassion remain when the mind continues to be quieted. The layers of enlightenment touch the practitioner or stated in another way we experience enlightening, loving, peacing and compassioning.

A question

Just as we experience our fingers and choose to wave our fingers is our mind / consciousness everywhere choosing to wave the life that we find ourselves in?

 

Recall, Presenting and Reincarnation

Recall or accessing memories of past, parallel and future more aptly put recall of experiences from an on-going present-ing or a wave of time that has no beginning and no end. Recall of experiences from present-ing in a cyclical or spiral frame (with end or beginning) could originate from the whole of consciousness or a being living in a cycle or reincarnation.

If there is a being enlightenment consciousness that incarnates along a present-ing continuum to experience finite lifetimes then our smaller ego selves have the possibility of rarely feeling alone or separated from consciousness.


Present-ing – is an on-going present wave. By changing present from a static state of “the present” to an continuously renewing on-going wave of energies present-ing becomes a regenerative word. Present-ing fills birth to death. Once birth and death become meaningless by a Consciousness Being living everywhere outside of time then present-ing in a finite biological body becomes more palliative.

 

 

 

 

 

Empathic Process and Beyond

adult alone black and white blur
Photo by Kat Jayne on Pexels.com

On this precipice of transformation the world seems entrenched in romanticizations of the past, which is producing unnecessary injustices pain and suffering beyond the pale of the ordinary.

as an empath I feel their pain

 Survival is an interesting balancing act between feeling deep anguish,pain and suffering and a retreat into rationalizations and /or other protections of the mind. The danger of a continuous retreat into the mind is a numbing of emotion. Too much emotional distress that is left unprocessed leads to overwhelm and shock, suppression recycling unconscious processes that have alternating anxiety, fear, anger and /or depressive moods to name a few a part of the emotional strategies of coping albeit unbalanced.

something happens that seems like divine intervention

When I work with people who are in pain I acknowledge their pain, its truth and being and as an empath I feel their pain. It pushes up against the pain I have felt in my life and allows me to identify and bear witness to their pain and mine. Merely by bearing witness with an open heart, suspending judgment sometime something happens that seems like divine intervention. Their pain is slowly allowed to release a little in the moment. It doesn’t mean that the pain won’t return it just means that if I hold a respectful loving and compassionate space for someone without expecting any result the pain sometimes leaves. This is miraculous. It seems divine because it has to do with a force that is invisible in our lives – the neutral space, the place of the witness.From the witness the higher vibrations of love and compassion flows through me and amazes me because – although it seems a part of me it belongs to a greater oneness that is part of the essence, core or divine self. From many years of healing work it has become easier to release judgment and accept another person’s reality completely. This has been a gift (from the mystery of the Divine).

The Divine enters and is both me and not me

Surrendering ego is the push that keeps a boundary in place that may as well be a wall and that is extraordinarily difficult to release until it isn’t. In that moment when the “I” is released all compassion, love and/or the divine that is all round as it has always been. I have kept it out, me the ego. The release of ego is so simple in the act. Getting to the place of release, of surrender, of sacrifice is gut-wrenchingly arduous. The release is sweetness and freeing.

the light of relief is experienced in all its innocence

In that momentary place of release and holding space the healing empathic forces come into play. They come through me when I step out of the way in the moment.

The Divine enters and is both me and not me, is a child of mirth and wild play; and that which is greater acting through me. Still the ego in me would like to lift the suffering from the one who is with me. I, the ego, realizes this is a disservice to the person in front of me who is suffering. I have come to see that by holding sacred space and allowing the person’s pain and suffering to run its course that they are learning a new grace and wisdom of unwinding karma and releasing their pain. I feel privileged that I can witness a birth within another as suffering and pain go and the light of relief is experienced in all its innocence.

This is one gift of the empath.

For more about my work visit:  Ontario’s The Kai

Blessings

EssenceFlameEternal
Essence of Light Within

From “Forever Young” by Bob Dylan

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you…

“God, what am I suppose to do with my life?”

was the question I asked myself before going to bed on a Monday night on February 5, 1990

loveflameEternity
Light as seen by Others

The answer led me to a life that while there was previously undeveloped and unfolded into a life of grace and blessings.

We forget that within the core of each individual is being

One of the greatest gifts or blessings in my life has been and continues to be is an ability to “see”.  I have “seen” others to the depths of their beings and they have all been beautiful.

In my interdimensional healing practice of nearly 30 years I have been blessed to see and embrace other peoples’ realities. My heart is full with that privilege of this life that has been afforded me.

In the beginning I did readings and embraced others’ realities. Then I began to work with helping others heal the blocks that stood (stand) in the way of their own light and embraced their realities.

the love is boundless

We all long to be seen, accepted and know that our presence has been acknowledged. We are hungry for that connection and may do all sorts of things distracting us from feeling that connection while thinking its out there somewhere. We see behaviors and attributes that we don’t like, loathe, hate and judge in the other. We discount and judge ourselves. We forget that the actions and attributes of the other person are surface waters and not who they are. We do not see people for who they are because we are so concerned with judging, criticizing and berating ourselves and maybe others. We forget that within the core of each individual is being.

loveflameEternity-copy2

When we are quiet enough to experience being in another we can experience being in ourselves. Then the love is boundless.

 


For further reading: The Calling

For more about my work visit:  Ontario’s The Kai

I grew up inside a Terrorist Regime – my family

 

CypressGrove5x

The Road Out via Compassion

 

I grew up inside a Terrorist Regime: in my family of origin where my father was the dictator and his word was law.

When I was a pre-teen he would shout me down into submission when he disagreed with something I said and end with telling me I was being illogical.

This was worse than death, torture of my dog.

He would continue to castigate my mother by telling her she was “irrational”. More often than not she was intuitive and non-rational

Around that time we adopted a stray dog: Peewee. He went everywhere with me – on my walks in the woods and to the reservoir. We never tied him up when we weren’t home. He ran with a pack of dogs that ate sheep. The sheep owner told us we would have to tie him up. We did for a while and then not having the heart to keep him tied up we let him go and he ate sheep again. My father was to take him to the vet to be put down. At dinner that night my father said:

I took Peewee to Yale to be experimented on. 

My head sank. This was worse than death, torture of my dog. I was so sad and down.

I thought you liked science – my father said.

 Not anymore – I said starting to get angry.

But I couldn’t show my anger otherwise I’d get in-trouble so I stuffed it.

After dinner beginning in my early teens we played Ping-Pong every night after dinner. He’d use psychological tactics on me to goad me to become angry, throw me off balance so he could win. One night, I thought – this is supposed to be fun. I decided not to get angry and started winning games. Once that happened he stopped playing and admitted that I had been a better player than he was and that by using psychological tactics he knew he could win.

he would bait others into Republican ideological arguments and then shout them down when they didn’t agree with them

When I was a teenager my father would bait me into arguments that I was emotionally invested in and then use his premise to make me feel wrong and confused. I’d fall for his debate tactics every time. When I was in my twenties I began to disagree with his premises and all “debate” ended.

My mom came to me and asked: “What am should I do about your father?”

 “What do you mean?”

“Well you know how he is.”

My mother’s friends never came over anymore because he would bait others into Republican ideological arguments and then shout them down when they didn’t agree with them.

            “You could see a therapist or minster,” I said.

            “I couldn’t do that,” she replied.

            “You could get a divorce,” I said.

           “Oh no, I couldn’t do that,” she replied.

            “Well, I don’t know what else to tell you,” I said.

My sister and I would spend all daylight hours outside of the house away from my mother and father and that I supposed was normal. We lived surrounded by bucolic regions of farms, fields and woods. My father would use his booming voice to call us for dinner while we were at least a mile away. He had had a lot of practice bellowing.

He told me once that he promised never to hit us like his father had done to his mother, him and his two sisters. But he broke his promise a few times. However he made up for actually physical violence by terrorizing us with verbal and non-verbal threats.

He often accused and never apologized even when he made a mistake.

He oscillated between sometimes being a looming or threatening boss to be a playful child albeit isolating. He was jealous of my mother having any recognition and acted passive-aggressively to quell her recognition: My mother would play the piano and we would sing folk songs and Christmas Carols after dinner. My mom also painted some. My father decided he could paint too. He painted some squares and a triangle on a canvas and put a mahogany frame around it. He hung it over the piano. When this happened I felt a profound shame and the childish jealousy of my father. My mother’s only visible protest was never to play the piano again. We all knew and my father had won his petty little game.

One time my sister and I – always the rivals often competing for my father’s attention were having a blast; bickering. It was a bit like the Monte Python sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLlv_aZjHXc

Our father yelled from the other room to “Stop it,” in his booming voice. We furtively glanced at each other snickering under our breaths and then began bickering again:

“Yes it is,” I fired out.

“No it isn’t,” my sister came back.

And on we went…

Our father appeared in the door of the kitchen his face red with rage, fists clenched he spewed in a vitriolic manner:

You kids cease and desist this instant!

 I thought blood would spurt from a vein in his forehead. He glared at us full of fury and rage. I had to bite my tongue so as not to speak or laugh. Many years later my sister told me she was so terrified that she had wet herself.

In my arguments to my father about the Vietnam war – I returned from college and told him I was against the war: he punched me across the face with a 1-2 punch and then in the stomach. He opened the front door of the house and threw me into the bushes and said:

Don’t you ever set foot in this house, again.

I was shaking and crying. A moment later he came out and invited me back inside saying:

I guess I didn’t brainwash you good enough.

 I knew my mother had stood up for me in that moment.

I learned to bring emotion into our debate and was able to stop many debates cold such as: The Vietnam war is wrong because killing for any reason is wrong and that’s how I feel.

my father was extremely obnoxious … after drinking in the afternoon

Later when I was going through a very rough time and we were in family therapy without my sister who was in college out west my father agreed to be nice to me. For about a year and a half he was nice. And then he changed back.

When I asked him about the change he said: “I can see that you were okay so I decided to be myself again.”

I offered to do some hands-on healing.

My father would have an occasional beer and an after dinner liquor when his friends came over for dinner. Once I had lunch with him in New Haven in the 1974 when we both worked in the city (it was the summer that Nixon resigned). He had a pitcher of beer with lunch. He seemed the same before as he did afterwards. At that time I wasn’t as aware of the various shades of alcoholism as I became later.

In the 1980s my sister visited with my mother and father. I met them for lunch. I was to meet them later at their Bed and Breakfast and then we were to meet up my woman lover at a restaurant in Glen Ellen. When I met them at the B&B my father was extremely obnoxious: grabbing a magazine article from my hands while I was reading it, ignoring my protest, telling me I had to listen to him etc… Later I learned that he and my sister had gone to a bar after lunch and had been drinking. My mother probably just watched – she didn’t drink due to health issues.

I felt satisfied that I was able to help him and that he had accepted my help.

They moved from Connecticut to North Carolina and I visited them in 2000.

My father said out of the blue:

            They’ve discovered planets in other solar systems.”

            “Good for them,” I replied.

            “How does astrology explain that?”

‘Oh brother here we go again.’ I thought

“Sounds like your trying to make fun of my profession as an astrologer,” I said going to the end point.

“Ah, no, no I wasn’t,” he said and dropped the whole thing. I was relieved and he seemed relieved as well.

He often accused and never apologized, ever.

By August of 2005 my father was on oxygen from pulmonary fibrosis – a lung disease. Even on O2 he had difficulty breathing, gasping for air. Towards the last hour of my stay I offered to do some hands-on healing. I thought he would refuse since he rarely praised me and denigrated my actions, choices and accomplishments at every turn of my life. I was surprised that he agreed.

For the next 45 minutes while I was there he breathed normally and appeared thankful though he said nothing. I felt satisfied that I was able to help him and that he had accepted my help.

He died in 2006 on my birthday from from pulmonary fibrosis.


END NOTES:  I learned much about the frightened Conservative stance towards the world through my father and his strong patriarchal ideals. Underneath all that bluster, anger and rage was a frightened boy who had never recovered from the abuse at the hands of his father. My father acknowledged the beatings that my grandfather had meted out on him his sisters and his mother. I’m sure there was sexual abuse that was repressed and / or supressed by alcohol abuse and acting-out rage, just as my garndfather had sexually abused me in horrific ways.

Beyond the unhealed abuse and fear that caused him to shift from an expansive man who had voted for JFK to one who embraced Nixon, Reagan, and both Bushs. Nixon was elected in 1969 when my father was almost 50. This is sometimes the period that people wither or break free from their parents belief systems. Or they become dissillusioned with the ideals of youth and fall back into what they know. My father embraced conservativism because it was about the past – government unresponsive to the needs of the many and only able to see the needs of the privelged and the elite in which he identified.

Fear is a breeding ground for greed, having enough, believing government stood in the way of making as much money as possible for himself. He was angry at those in civil service work because they made almost as much as he did as an executive for Ma Bell. Manual labor was beneath him. The intellect was all powerful and deserved the best of the elite. The common man – the middle class became superfluous, invisible and therefore inconsequential to him.

He belived in the platitudes and the American Dream and thought that all had access to it through hard work. He was sexist and racist and homeophobic. He was a sad broken man who took out his wounds on others.

I am happy to have survived my childhood with my heart intact though it took me many years to get in-touch with my emotions. I have forgiven my father for all the wounds he had perpertated on me. And I trust that his consciousness is growing in a life beyond his mortal coil.

 

An Odyssey of Loss and Rebirth (May 2017 to May 2018)

fires

Fires of October 2017

 

I had dreams of the death of my friend Wendy former lover and good friend in early May and she had given me hints of her upcoming death over the phone but I missed them. Denial is so self-protecting at least initially.

the October fires of Northern California began

News came of Tom Petty’s death…

I got a voice mail from a good friend’s daughter on 9/28/17 about his impending death. I had known it was coming but it took me my surprise. The next day he passed out of his cancer-ridden physical body into the next life.

Wendy had died of cancer in May.

A week later the October fires of Northern California began. I evacuated, as did my neighbors – only to find that it wasn’t a mandatory evacuation as I was lead to believe by authorities on the scene. (I later learned they had moving heavy equipment – massive bulldozers into the mountains at the end of the road.). My cat and I stayed with a good friend in Windsor. I returned one day in the midst of smoke as thick as fog that not even air conditioning in my car, a mask or the interior of my house would eliminate to retrieve a few items and found a message on my answering machine to call the niece of Wendy in Canada.

The losses from the fires were and continue to be heartbreaking and devastating.

I waited until I arrived back in Windsor to call Wendy’s niece. She had gotten my letter (Wendy’s phone had been disconnected). Wendy had died of cancer in May.

My old boss was shot

The losses from the fires were and continue to be heartbreaking and devastating. Thankfully my place and my neighborhood were spared. Many homes that were completely destroyed are just now starting the re-building process. Loss and the anniversary of that loss have had us holding our breaths a bit. I felt us all sigh relief, exhaling as the rains came October first and second.

He was taken off hospice in May 2018

In December another friend passed from cancer.

My old boss was shot during the time my boss asked a question and was in critical condition for a time and then started his recovery.

A friend was put on hospice in February. I could see he wasn’t going to die that soon. He was taken off hospice in May 2018

Composite Beings – Part Two

spacewave1spacewave1

The higher vibrational being (HVB) who enters may remain as an observer for a time before it produces a noticeable event in the child’s or adolescent’s life. Fractured or alternative personalities already exist within the host due to traumatic events that are often on going. A DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) is a coping strategy that some individuals use to deal with extremely impactful traumatic wounds. HVBs are attracted to those suffering from DIDs and look for ways to mesh with the wounded individuals that provide a modicum of strength, protection and may be utilized for aspects of integration in a therapeutic healing process.

Self-acceptance is very important in the healing process.

Just as traumatic events produce fractured wounds and decimate the individual into separate personalities to manage aspects of the trauma the Higher Vibrational Being seeks to augment managing personality parts with positive past, current and parallel realities and lives to support the individual in a wider context. Once the individual begins to incorporate the HVB neuronal patterns, and experiential fragments of the wider context then a cognitive frame can be created with the original organizing self for more effective administration of the wounded personalities for healing.

the HVB may produce synchronistic events that appear “magical” or have extrasensory phenomena

The HVB and the various fragmented parts can come together more quickly and can either be reintegrated into a healing self or co-exist cooperatively with one another. Self-acceptance is very important in the healing process. Finding a therapist and /or a shaman-interdimensional healer who works towards unconditional acceptance of the DID / HVB synergy is extremely important for healing and for future work. [NOTE: not all DID individuals have a HVB entree]. The shaman and/or interdimensional healer can offer a community for the wounded individual with a HVB to be accepted into gracefully.

It’s also possible and likely that the wounded individual will not notice the HVB until the individual has worked towards reintegration and /or a peace cooperation or coexistence between the alternate personalities. When recognition occurs there has been enough work to raise the vibration of the individual as well as integration between the HVB and at least one of the conscious core selves.

Awareness of a high vibration being is a tricky affair.

 Until the time of recognition the HVB may produce synchronistic events that appear “magical” or have extrasensory phenomena associated with an incident or incidents. The presence of an HVB within a person with a dissociative identity disorder or fractured selves does not necessarily guarantee automatic healing. Therapeutic work on a psychological level must occur as well as somatic treatments and inner work as in a spiritual practice or some semblance thereof.

Awareness of a high vibration being is a tricky affair. If the HVB reveals itself before a context has been established and the ego of the host is not strong enough to handle the impact the individual may be prematurely diagnosed with additional psychiatric disorders such as schizophrenia. Medication could destroy the host’s identity as well as extremely hinder the effectiveness of the HVB to carry out its mission.

[NOTE: Amalgamated Beings are several HVBs fused together that take human form bypassing indigenous humans in the reincarnation process.]

Composite Beings – Part One

spacewave1

A number of years ago in the 1980s the term “walk-in” gained popularity especially with new age thinkers. Ruth Montgomery first coined it in a book published in 1979: Strangers Among Us [1].

peaceful co-existence between the dissociative parts and personalities or a hunger for integration.

Walk-Ins were high vibrational beings who replaced “souls” that wanted to leave due to personal trauma [1]. Later in the 1980s and 90s the walk-in name was expanded to include a permanent or temporary stay by the higher vibrational being and/or sharing knowledge with the individual host [2].

Composite Beings have been with us before our current written history

However when knowledge and experience are shared between the original host and the higher vibrational being there is a blending. This is a Composite Being. Usually the single “walk-in” experience was obscured or cloistered from the host for many years until an urge for healing becomes oriented towards either peaceful co-existence between the dissociative parts and personalities or a hunger for integration.

Composite Beings have been with us before our current written history and occur for a variety of opposing reasons:

The Host (receptive vessel):

  • Is an old soul in the cycle of reincarnation
  • Has had single or numerous severe traumatic events and/or losses in childhood or adolescence
  • Has responded to trauma with a Dissociative Personality Disorder strategy over time
  • In the multiple dissociative states including Alternate Personalities there is a great longing for unification and/or peace and balance.

 

A Higher Vibrational Being (active vessel):

  • The Higher Vibrational Being is an older soul than the host
  • Has a karma/dharma link with the receptive vessel or host
  • Provides a unifying personality feature and strength of character needed by the host
  • The Higher Vibrational Being is on an active mission that allows healing to occur for the host while healing energies spill over to humanity at large directly and/or indirectly
  • The Higher Vibrational Being’s mission besides healing may extend to other areas.

 

The Neutral Vessel is Planet Earth.

 

Composite Beings are attracted to one another whether or not they are aware of the composite blending within themselves for the purpose of awakening and healing.

Once a fractured personality strategy is acknowledged in the conscious ego of the host where the Composite Being is acknowledged and recognized and healing begins other Composite Beings are attracted to one another on a higher vibrational level for the purpose of their missions.

When awakening begins to blossom within the Composite Being other Composite beings on the same or higher vibrational frequency are drawn to each other. The other Composite Beings are on a continuum of self-discovery where they may assist or be assisted by each other for the purpose of healing and fulfilling the individual and collective missions.

 

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walk-in

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walk-in

[2] http://www.crystalinks.com/walk_ins.html

 

Difficult Times – it’s not what you think.

1bgearth grids11bg

Uranus on the left and right in infrared & Earth in an EM field

 Or

The Patriarchy has Ended.            An Introduction to Higher Consciousness – Part Two

If you’re a progressive there’s a tendency to be pulled into the fray of bashing Trump. Its easy to succumb to the frustrations that the actions of Trump and the GOP / Conservatives elicit in us. When we engage in bashing we may feel better, vindicated, surrounded by others that believe as we do – as in a club of like-mindedness.

Before continuing context is important:

  • Climate Change / Global Warming / Extreme Weather
  • Dwindling natural resources
  • Explosive Advances in Technology
  • Eroding or disappearing democracy
  • Increased diseases including auto-immune diseases
  • Over-population
  • Sensory, intellectual, emotional and spiritual overwhelm
  • Income Inequality

Back to Trump and the social-political zeitgeist. On a deeper level we know that Trump really isn’t the problem at all. He’s a symptom and a very odious and obvious symptom like a giant pus-filled pimple on the tip of the nose. He’s the pimple that represents a face full of acne – the GOP, corporate greed, a nostalgic look at America before the income tax or fill-in “the blank”.

The problem has been stated in many ways much more succinctly as I am about to expound. The problem is deeper because many people in power in both political parties have ignored the needs of the people in favor of corporate donors to their campaigns.

Trump, the GOP and or lives within this perilous time represent a gestalt that is deeper and more insidious than we may have imagined. Some have chosen not to engage in Trump bashing and this is good because it is a sign of restraint based on rational thought. When we engage in Trump bashing daily we are engaging in three or more processes that are not immediately evident:

  1. We fall into the “Pit of Trump” – keeping negative attention on him is attention. He revels in any kind of attention. Negative attention can be useful in that it clearly defines:
  • A potential enemy or adversary
  • Puts people on the defensive
  • Raises the bar for irrational acts
  • Raises the bar for anger going to acting-out rage manifesting as violence
  • Justifies actions taken against protestors, suppressing voters’ rights, etc.
  • Possibly foments violence
  1. Trump represents the shadow in each of us. As he pokes at us especially those of us that bash him daily he fosters our shadow to come out in-reaction to his stuff. He becomes successful in dragging us down to his level where the bashing is all there is. In other words bashing is not followed by actions such as direct actions, organizing with others and so on. We get stuck in reacting, bashing – rinse, repeat and think of this as protest. Many of us, myself included don’t move out of the acting-out rage and name-calling -its overwhelming.

3. The patriarchy has ended energetically but socially and politically it persists. The  natural part of the process of ending of an epoch is upon us in the form represented by the caricature we have come to know as Trump. He represents a black hole of endless addictive fears of not being enough and allows us to air the “dirty laundry” of our shadow to the each other and the world. By remaining in the world of just bashing, signing a petition or two without a monetary contribution is an indulgence of shadow where the light never shines. It’s easy to fall into this place.

 

An example:

Slight changes in my job began to put me in a cycle of stress and decreasing sleep – 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night for over ten months. So I retired so I could recover and begin to work on my private practice. It took seven and a half months (until mid September 2017) to stabilize my sleep patterns and regain some health.

Then a good friend died of cancer at the end of September 2017. Two weeks later I had to evacuate due to the Northern California / Sonoma County fires. I was thrown back into shock, anxiety and disrupted sleep. Midway through the fires I got a phone message from the niece of a friend who moved back to Canada at the turn of the century who I hadn’t heard from. Because she didn’t answer her phone and then her phone was disconnected I wrote her a letter. We had been lovers and then friends for 29 years. When I got in-touch with Wendy’s niece she told me that Wendy had died of cancer in May 2017. She didn’t want anyone to know that she had had cancer. Her niece found out that she was dying by accident.

My house survived unscathed by the fires. I feel so grateful.

A man seeking revenge on another man in an adjacent town also shot my old boss. That was December 2017. He is recovering slowly in an ICU – slowly moving out of critical condition. Then another good friend in the beginning of February 2018 is now in hospice care due to a terminal lung disease. (April update – still under hospice care and improving somewhat)

I thought I had grieved, but I haven’t completed this process. Unconsciously I had been carrying around huge amounts of anger and dumping it on certain safe others inappropriately in part approved by Trump.

 

The Big Cycle

We are in the end times of the patriarch and the beginning times of the partnership. Cycles of five to ten thousand years do not end abruptly. There are no lines in space demarcating constellations from one another.

Think of the end and beginning times as analogous to a traffic light in slow motion denoting a longer time period.

The Green Light FLICKERS

  • The Green Light TURNS to YELLOW – CAUTION
  • The Yellow Light stays in – CAUTION: emotions build negativity is often displayed due to increasing impatience.
  • The Yellow Light FLICKERS
  • The Yellow Light turns to RED impatience increases more negativity
  • The Red Light impatience can be released
  • The Red Light turns to Green – a new age comes into being

 

These larger cycles of times have been described in the Vedic texts and are known as Yugas. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yuga

Add the concept of “Soul Age” into the mix of these embroiled end times. There are a number of different resources on Soul Age from the Michael Teachings to Astrology (these can be googled).

  1. The baby to young souls are survival-based peoples with a fluid moral compass. They tend to be opportunistic and self-centered. They are very driven to success and look at everything in win-lose frameworks.
  1. Middle souls live in a social context. Emotional drama may be part of their experience. They are searching for inner meaning. They are attached to emotional intensity, prosperity. While being empathic they interpret the feelings of others as they interpret their own.
  1. Older Souls have a wider perspective. They have a profound respect and acceptance of others- emotionally, intellectually and spiritual. They are working on letting go of their attachments.

The Younger Souls seems to have less choice while middle souls more choice and old souls the most choice. Younger souls push choice to the limit. Middle souls exercise choice within a social context. Old souls choose love.

 

Back to the Yugas for a Moment:

The Satya Yuga is divided into an ascending and descending arc of almost 10,000 years, though I have other sources that show it to be longer (Toltec) it was and will be a Spiritual Age where humankind in all soul ages will be able to form complete thoughtforms (http://theyugas.com/about-the-yugas/overview/overview/ see diagram after scrolling to bottom of the page of the link). The Satya (ascending and descending) are at the top of the diagram and the Kali Yugas are at the bottom. Kali is the Goddess of destruction and the Kali Yugas are the material epoch where society is in disarray. We are the cusp of the ascending Dwapara Yuga or Energy Age. But since this is the Yellow Light period in our traffic light metaphor we need to exercise caution in this in-between place. Within the structures of the Kali Yuga there is a direct cause and effect action in the world. In the Dwapara Yuga or Energy Age there is thought first then energy into action. The Treta Yuga or Mental Age – thoughtforms come into being once again.

A thoughtform is an original thought cleansed of base desires and negative emotions that is able to form a pattern with the electromagnetic field of the body that can manifest in its entirety. As humans in our current state of development; we are not able to create original thought nor are we able to craft a thoughtform on a conscious level. Many unconscious thoughtforms keep us stuck in war and violence worldwide. (For a more detailed look at the subject of thoughtforms see – https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2016/10/02/an-intuitive-look-at-thoughtforms/ )

Humans at the current level of development are not responsible for their thoughtforms. Unconscious and uncompleted thoughtforms seek out those of a lower vibration and manifest. Meaning that if we think harmful negative thoughts towards another – that are recycled from the gestalt of our world that thought will manifest willy-nilly in a lower vibration younger or middle soul and get acted out. It will probably not manifest in the person we are angry or bear ill-will towards because their vibration may not be low enough or due to the randomness of unconscious recycled though will likely go towards groups that already experience violence or where there is a war.

Humans are not advanced enough to create conscious original thoughtforms and so must enact laws to attempt a similar safeguard. In the Satya Age religion is not needed, anti-discrimination laws and laws against violence are no longer necessary because love exists in the hearts and minds of the individuals.

Higher Consciousness and Love are one. Love is just as light is. Photons of light are everywhere and in every being. Higher Consciousness includes everything including the darkness. Higher Consciousness is Knowing and Knowing is Accepting. Love accepts and allows knowing to be all.

Our vibration is not high enough to create an original thought and craft it into a thoughtform. That does not mean that we cannot work on ourselves to utilize the love in us to melt our own negativity and practice good thoughts towards others while using love to dissolve negative thinking towards ourselves and others.

Returning to the issues with Trump and the anger he evokes in me, the triggered anger about the multiple losses (deaths and death processes) I’ve experienced over the last six months and other triggered wounds from childhood – I’ve begun work on these issues in a different way.

I find it’s easy for me to go to outrage and sadness over the injustices that Trump, his administration and the GOP are foisting upon us. And I don’t want to stay wound-up inside the injustices he is dishing out by voicing outrage about it without taking positive action. For me it’s important to respond to Trump (on Facebook, or another public venue) with outrage in writing unless someone else has already written it. Then call or email my representative in the house and my two senators. Or write to the California Attorney General; call the ACLU or other agency. Budget monthly contributions to worthy causes, or a singular contribution to a candidate in favor of a progressive agenda and/or resisting the Trump agenda. Send faxes in campaigns resisting ludicrous bills before congress.

Reacting repeatedly in anger at Trump allows me to descend to the lower vibration that Trump lives and feed his agenda, keeps me tense, restricted and in fight mode – the tiredness sets in and I don’t want to do the actions that I have pledged in the above paragraph.

So I set myself to:

  • Briefly express anger at Trump et al.
  • Make phone calls, send faxes and /or emails to MoC (Members of Congress)
  • Donate to causes and candidates
  • Relax and envision a present spreading out into the future that is one of peace and justice for all (peoples – all biological beings, Earth, all so-called non-biological beings).
  • Make the love I recognize within available to those that want and/or need it (through quantum entanglement).

 

How will you be in these difficult times? What will you do to make it better?

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A final note: Jeffery Wolf Green, astrologer has a school in Evolutionary Astrology. He speaks about the change agents based on the nodes of Uranus. (Uranus is the trickster planet or revolution and evolution). People born between 1936 and now have the nodes of Uranus in the same place as those alive ( in reincarnation) during the change from the matriarchy to the patriarchy. Therefore we are The Change Agents between epochs. ?