A New Kind of Christmas Prayer

X-MasCard

My mother liked buying Christmas cards all year long. She had huge clear plastic bags of them in the cedar closet and elsewhere in our house.

I told people I was from the future.

In my 20s she invited me to take some to send. I took some, she said take more… So I selected bunches that were all the same painting. I wasn’t much into sending Christmas cards but I took them because my mom wanted me to have some. I think she was overwhelmed with the amount of the cards she had stored up.

Every year for many years I had many of these Christmas cards. It was impossible to send them all to people I knew – maybe I had over 100 cards.

universal wishes

Every since I could remember I longed for a better world as if I had a memory of this world. Perhaps I did remember a different world because I told people I was from the future. I could feel a world and people at peace with themselves, everyone in the community, not just locally but nationally and internationally. And not just with people, but will all the beings of Earth. Often we ascribe life to biological beings only, I saw and I see all beings, rock, water, air and our sun as beings.

There’s something magical about getting mail (snail mail) from yourself especially if you don’t immediately remember that you sent it.

Every year sometime in my 20s I would write a Christmas card to myself with 7 wishes written inside. Four or five were universal wishes and the other two or three were personal. There’s something magical about getting mail (snail mail) from yourself especially if you don’t immediately remember that you sent it.

I began practicing finding a sense of peace within myself

You retrieve it from the post box and look at the envelope. The writing / printing looks familiar. You rip it open and your remember that old mill in winter and your read the wishes. I stopped sending cards when I ran out and I had begun thinking that wishes were melancholy ways to stay stuck – keeping wishes as wishes that would never come true because they postponed the event into a future that didn’t exist.

Create the peace you want in yourself and be it in the world.

I began to visualize using all my senses to what world peace might feel, look, smell and be like. I began practicing finding a sense of peace within myself and finding threads that would connect peace feelings to others.

I invite you to send a snail mail card to yourself of your wishes and then visualize with your thoughts and senses and your emotions what you are creating now. Create the peace you want in yourself and be it in the world.

For an unwind hot non-alcoholic beverage in a mug try: https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2016/12/02/a-non-alcoholic-hot-toddy-for-sleep/

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Lost and – Found

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As I get older I seem to lose stuff. I lost my cell phone a few years back, called my provider had them deactivate the account and then a few hours later found the phone. Where? It was where I had left it. But I didn’t employ the finding techniques I have sometimes used to find lost or misplaced stuff.

A friend who has since passed into another life without her body passed on this technique:

The Eye-Flicking – Remembering where I put It – tool

The women that discovered / invented EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) for dealing with people suffering from PTSD, used eye movement to recover and reintegrate repressed memories. My friend said – though this may not have been accurate that the woman, Francine Shapiro was flicking her eyes back and forth to allow a memory to return. My friend said it was possible to move throughout one’s home – flick your eyes back and forth – not in an attempt to visually find the object that you lost but to uncover the memory of where it was. This worked for me a few times.

Cleaning one’s house tool – Frantically cleaning your house to find where you misplaced stuff – works sometimes but not enough.

The Tony-Tony tool – was given to me by a good friend of Italian-American heritage who passed away too young (in my book). Tony is short for St. Anthony finder of lost objects and who also had an undying love and devotion to the poor and the sick. Here’s how this works:

  1. begin with this chant: “Tony, Tony, come around, something’s lost and must be found.” It could be chanted x3.
  2. Wait until it shows up – up to 48 hours
  3. If it shows give anywhere from $1 to $20 to St. Anthony’s to help feed the poor at Christmas.

This worked the best for me. Back in the day when I didn’t have much money to give I started with a dollar. When it reached 10 found items of more I wrote a check to St. Anthony’s of San Francisco, CA.

A Code of Conduct for Men with Women, Children and Other Men

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Or Equality Hugging

Preface

Men are in a position of power in this culture because of their gender and that has been invisible for the most part to them. Women have known about the abuses of men’s power positions for as long as the patriarch is old. It’s becoming more visible now, thankfully and has a long way to go. Men have set many precedents to treat women and others as objects to be subjugated and this has remained acceptable and even hailed as “good” amongst men and some women.

Men who have been victims of sexual crimes such as rape, sexual assault, violations, incest and ritualized sexual abuse as children and feel to be victims / survivors are keenly aware of men’s power than those men acting as perpetrators.

A Possible Code of Conduct

When I was recovering from memories of having been raped as a child I began to create boundaries. Many people men and women make a tacit assumption – it is okay to hug. Amongst my friends and acquaintances I had to stop people from hugging me. I asked them to ask me if was okay to hug me.

Some men employ the bear-hug. This is a clamping down on the hugee to a point where the hugee is crushed by the hugger. Most hugs are unequal. There is a hugger and a hugee. The hugger gives a hug or is the aggressive hugger – even if gentle. The receiver of the hug does just that – receives without choice in the matter. Most hugs are not shared they are given and received. An aggressive hugger can “get-off” sexually on the hug without any seeming impropriety. The best a receiver of a hug may be able to do is the A-Frame Hug. They lean into the giver’s hug with their head and shoulders. Only the very top of their chests may be in contact with the other.

 

The Code of Conduct is Simple

Step One:

“May I give you a hug?”

“Yes.”     Or      “No.”

 

Step Two:

Or you could re-frame the experience:

“May I give you a hug?” Could be met with:

“No, but I will share a hug with you.”

“Same difference,” the hug perpetrator could say.

Response – Walk away

Or they could say: “What does that mean?”

If its said sarcastically its probably best to refuse all together and walk away.

 

In sharing a hug –

Each hugger gives and receives the hug equally.

Explanation and practice required.

 

Am I splitting hairs? Maybe, but I don’t think so…

 

Home

4-magicThe duck pond on the Sonoma Plaza 🙂

 

On an early Sunday morning in February of 1983 my best friend Kent and I went to Sonoma and the Valley of the Moon.

I had moved to the Stockton area in 1982 to live and work with Bhante – the Dharmawara Mahathera and learn Vipassana Meditation in greater depth. However I rebelled against being a devotee – something he had wanted (not me) and moved out.

Hanging out at the Blackwater Café in Stockton I came to know Kent. We became good friends. He introduced me to the magic of Sonoma.

His introduction was replete with great wisdom and insight.

I am eternally grateful to him for opening the door to my home.

We left around 6 am in the dusk of a cold morning on that February. He drove his van with his dog and me across the delta towards Sonoma. He had a knack for introducing me to the magic of Sonoma and the Valley of the Moon with his mythic-poetic musings peppered into our conversations.

We missed Bill at perform with his guitar at the church. We met Bill and his wife Shirley at the First Congregational Church on West Spain Street in Sonoma at the tail end of the 7 am Service. Then Kent drove us to their cabin near the top of Moon Mountain Drive in Sonoma. We ate brunch and talked.

My third eye opened wide upon entry into the Sonoma Valley.

Kent and I took a short walk on the fire trail to the south of their house and he waxed on about castles in Europe appearing out of the fog – such as the fog in the valley.

Something quite unexpected had happened that day. I digress – that for the past 18 months I had been doing an inner exercise – a meditation in the morning to create light for the “soul’s body” and open the 3rd eye. My third eye opened wide upon entry into the Sonoma Valley.

I felt the town welcomed me, just as Mount Diablo “spoke” to me about becoming a healer. Of course the impressions didn’t come in English but I translated them into language for a better understanding. At first I explained the opening of my Third Eye by all the spiritual work that was done by others in the valley.

Many years after another answer came to me in a softer manner. It was the land herself, the configuration of the Valley of the Moon and the power center (the Plaza) of Sonoma Valley that has been a source of mystery and powerful transformation. I believe the way in which Kent introduced me to Sonoma and the Valley was replete with great wisdom and insight. I am eternally grateful to him for opening the door to my home.

Towards the end of this Field of Dreams film clip Burt Lancaster’s character Doc Graham makes a powerful statement about “home”. This is how it is for me in Sonoma.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCNp_jl5m6c

PS I give workshops/individual sessions in some of the magical places in Sonoma http://the-kai.com

 

“Why Traps” – an Affirming Present or a Future Expectation of Negative Outcomes

brain_f2 Psychoanalysis uncovers the genesis of a problem or problems rooted in the unconscious and when understood by the conscious mind there is an occurrence of healing. This is a vast oversimplification and it belongs to a world of mechanistic cause and effect relationships with an assumption that the mind unlocks healing.

Our brains are hardwired for fear and possible negative outcomes.

This myth is perpetuated into logical thought and the some of shortcomings of the scientific method. In other words psychoanalysis has perpetuated an assumption that thought and the will can overcome unconscious traumas of childhood. That would be true if everyone lived in a cause and effect world.

Fears and anxieties based on an expectation of a negative outcome is an urge some people to begin to try and think how to escape the negative outcome. This in-turn encourages more thinking to solve the problem. This is the cycle of worry or obsessive thinking. The pattern of this kind of thinking may soothe the thinker for a nanosecond but then initiates the obsessive pattern again. The worrier doesn’t use fear to attract the negative outcome to themselves but allows them to find situations were the negative pattern manifests. [People come to me and ask about romantic relationships they inevitably say they feel in-love for the person because it feels “right” and “familiar”. The root word of “familiar” is family. After a few dates I suggest some questions. If the person asking me is a woman talking about a man, I ask the woman about her relationship with her father. I suggest that the woman ask the man about his relationship with his mother. You get the idea.] The family we were raised in represented a particular world. Some offspring leave the world of the dysfunction – often cause and effect relationships for a world in the present and they may slip back into the cause and effect world when encountering a parent or two or siblings. The function of expectation for a negative outcome is key and this is often an unconscious process.

When we humans feel joy and happiness expectation falls away.

Our brains are hardwired for fear and possible negative outcomes. This took place over a long period of time probably tens of thousand of years and was based in survival against real danger, such as being attacked and eaten by predators. Eventually the patterns that helped our ancestors cope with dangers were substituted with fears based on anxieties about our negative expectations of a future based on a causal world.

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When we humans feel joy and happiness expectation falls away. These are emotions that expand and uplift and belong to a different reality than the expectations of negative outcomes and how to solve them. Expectations of negative outcomes and its solution – obsessional thinking curl us into self-protective loops that create conditions for suffering and breakdowns. Joy and happiness belong to a separate reality divorced from expectation and in the world of the present.

This takes a compassionate neutral place within our Being.

I had a friend that would ask me “Why?” to whatever subject she was grappling with at the time. I would answer that “Why?” questions assume that if one knew the reason for this or that problem then there would be a self-evident solution. “Why” questions belong to the cause and effect world of psychoanalysis. Cause and effect worlds are less complex and predictable. The Higher Worlds predicated in the present are more complex because the emotions of joy, happiness and love open us and make “Why” questions superfluous. The intellect and rational thought is not the answer to everything.

Overcoming worry and causal realities takes time and effort. Awareness is the first step. Awareness must be free of judgment. The spin of worry / obsessional thinking must be observed without judgment. This takes a compassionate neutral place within our Being. This place requires cultivation. Once the force of a witness is sufficiently cultivated we become aware when we are obsessing and have an expectation for a negative outcome.

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A conscious breath may be enough to interrupt the pattern for a second. The use of distraction, moving out pattern of thinking to feelings of hope and joy may help us shift out of the pattern. Repeated efforts along these lines are necessary throughout our lives because of the hard-wiring of our brain explained above. For a better habit to replace a bad habit- especially one that is hardwired into our brains must be continually practiced.

I have noticed that breakthroughs into other worlds and even into a “place” beyond time are possible.

 

Light in Blood – The Light imbues – All

(NOTE: Some of the material was previously posted from December 2016 see link below)

In the summer of 1968 I was with my family on Cape Cod near the Nauset Lighthouse.  One day I walked five miles up the coast to sand dunes.  It was there I had a peak experience of everyone on the planet connected by love and light.

I was “seeing” Earth from space where all was connected by light (and love). I felt oneness with all ~ ecstasy!

In 1984 I was in a leadership training course. Our group was team building on a Ropes Course near Woodland, California. One of our teammates was up in the trees preparing to jump onto a wobbly platform, supported in a safety harness by two burly fellows on the ground and two support people in the trees. Our support consisted of us yelling like rabid cheerleaders at her. It made no sense to me so I projected the supportiveness of my heart energy into the trees and towards her.

Something happened that I hadn’t expected.

I saw light coursing through the trunks and branches of the trees. Looking at the light streaming so quickly through the trees was intense.

I looked down. I looked at the ground and then at the bare skin on my left arm.

I saw inside my arm. Where blood was pumping through the arteries and veins I saw light pulsing.  Light from a near by leafy bush (the leaves were tender and sweet to look at) extended a cloudy plasmic field of light around my arm as if to comfort me.

At that time it was too intense for me to process it and I closed my eyes and prayed for normalcy.  When I opened by eyes moments later I saw what I had expected to see – all was normal and reassuring.

https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2016/12/11/we-are-the-matrix-and-the-wider-consciousness/

Surrender

Occasionally I think about the arc of my life as a rainbow of possibilities replete with connections, connections of the heart to friends, relatives and lovers… Tonight I feel filled with love, blessed to live in community. I feel incredibly wealthy and blessed. Thank-you.

The community in Sonoma and in the world for all that I have touched and whose hearts have touched mine. The connections through the WordPress blogs, Facebook and Medium to name a few are also heartfelt. I am deeply grateful and honored.When I dip into the breath and down into meditation the web and weave of a greater consciousness seems to open. In that opening I have glimpsed destiny based on synchronicities, karma, perception and the oneness of the heart. It is as if my life has been written as I surrender into a higher consciousness letting go of ego for those briefest of moments.
In 1990 when I asked the question – “God what should I do with my life?” and the subsequent “answer” that led to a place of choice. I could have continued to pursue what “I” (ego) wanted to do – make video, write unsuccessful screenplays and continue to work as a Crisis Counselor or…

I could surrender to a life as a “seer” and healer. So I surrendered. However that initial act of surrender wasn’t the only one. My rebellious and bratty ego keeps making himself known and this requires continual acts of surrender to the path.

I wish I could adequately describe the feelings of sweetness connected to the act of surrender. However the 1990 act of surrender wasn’t my first. My ego remembers all the seemingly magical acts of surrender, and there were many that were failed or seemed not to produce any obvious results.
To arrive at a place in ourselves where surrender is possible other avenues of work are required to generate the energy of beingness necessary for the sacrifice in the surrender process.
Avenues of work on oneself:
Struggle: Most people have an onerous association to struggle and avoid it. Most of our struggles are successful and easy. Getting out of bed in the morning, or driving to work etc. Paying taxes may be a task we put off – so that may be an odious struggle.

Struggle is the battle between “Yes” and “No”. The cultivation of the Witness observer self helps in two ways: it allows non-attachment to develop and the observer / witness can create energy from the friction of the struggle.
Help: Most people ask for help much as a child would ask an adult for help in the same way people ask for help from God, the Divine, the Universe etc. Many people expect help will arrive because they asked and that the help will arrive in a clearly recognizable way. Help can come when we make space for it and are attentive to the ways in which it can arrive and how we respond to it.
Learning: Learning can come from books. Deeper learning comes from direct contact with a Master and /or teacher.
Surrender or Sacrifice: This can only happen in the present moment. It involves a surrender of thought, feeling and motion (somatic knowing). It involves letting go of expectation and fears. When ego is released the Witness or Observer self may be present.
In 1982 will participating with 50 or so individuals in a practice of a Gurdjieff Sacred Dance – The Great Prayer, during the last twenty minutes I experienced a divine presence “doing” the movement while my Witness Self observed. This was an ineffable experience where to use words to describe it would denigrate it.

Life beyond Death

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From all my encounters of death, stories of near-death and following others passage to death and beyond here is a composite:

When the physical body ceases the core or essence of light that passes from the crown to the root chakra is released and unites with our light body, the first frequency of energy in our Electromagnetic field and creates the tunnel of light.  When that tunnel ceases sometimes we see our previously passed relatives and friends their to greet us (this is not always the case).  We are still within the outer reaches of our auric field so we may be encountering our living memories of them recreated to help us pass. Or they may be co-created by us and them to welcome us into a new realm of consciousness.

Then we are in a line in an enormous building like a train station.  We meet a committee that asks us two basic questions:

Did you love?

Were you loved by others?

There are no wrong answers to these questions. Then you move away from the line and await you teacher.  But since there is no time or space what may often occur is a period where the person relives a favorite part of their lives or a fantasy of what they may have wanted but didn’t get and they do so in a their favorite time with a healthy body. This is also a time where they “visit” loved ones on the earth plain in the form of dreams and visions or a feeling of that person.

After that they meet with their teacher and review their lives from the library known as the Akashic Records – a holographic interactive record of what you have done and what would have happened if you had made a different choice.

The soul’s body is not complete. When our physical bodies die light from our light bodies is deposited into the soul’s body. When the soul’s body is completely coated with light it is no longer necessary to return to the earth plain. The individual may return as a Bodhisattva -great old soul of transcendental enlightenment love and compassion, or become a teacher for others.  Those that choose to return do so out of love and may be the only ones that choose their parents.

When all the work is done the hunger to make more light (love) is paramount.  The individual is pulled into conception at a certain time and anchored to a cell at the point of conception.

This is conception trauma worse than birth trauma because consciousness was free to be everywhere without attachment and at conception attachment begins.  From Freedom to attachment…

 

[NOTE – since there is no time the order of most what happens may not be necessarily accurate.]

Remembering Bhante

 

Bhante93Photo taken outside his rented house in Lathrop, CA in June of 1982

I came to California – arriving on Memorial Day Weekend 1982 – to study with Bhante or the Dharmawara Mathahera. In some ways I was ready to work with him – but in most ways I rebelled. A year later I moved out. Bhante gave me his shakti (spiritual energy from the guru) upon leaving and I used this to develop myself on my own spiritual path. Bhante and I remained friends. The photograph you see here was take when he was 93.  I saw him shortly after his 100th birthday (a second photo not shown here) and then again at 101 when he was living in Merced by the Merced River. I last saw Bhante when he turned 109 about a year before his death when he spoke in both English and lapsing into Cambodian in mid-sentence with a Monk to interpret.

About six months after his death I had this dream – one of those very real dream-time dreams –

I was at a small hut / temple in monsoon season in the midst of a rice paddy. It was night. The temple was on stilts to avoid being flooded. The Dali Lama was there.  I was bowing – and then on my knees kissing the hem of his garment.

“Get up, Frank,” The Dali Lama said laughing. “You’re one of us.”

I stood dazed and slightly disoriented:

“I am?”

“Oh yes.  Besides I am here as a bridge to open a way for this man…”

The Dali Lama pulled back a heavy drape.  There was smiling face with bright orange light all around. It was Bhante.

“How come you haven’t come to visit me before now?”

“Well, Bhante, I hate to tell you this, but you’re dead.”

“Do I look dead to you?”

“Oops…”

The dead are the death of bodies. Spirit lives on.

Bhante is with me and helps me in my work on an on-going basis.

Metaphors for Healing – a primer

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I had the good fortune to work as a “seer” or (psychic reader) at The New Leaf Bookstore in Larkspur, California from 1995 to 1999 on Saturdays. It was good training for the next step. I began my day around 11 am and closed at 7 pm with a break for lunch.

Many people came for readings after having gone to the movies at the theatre next door. I often “saw” images of those movies in their persona and it gave me an inner laugh.

I guided people through a visualization and looked at the content of each of the seven chakras. Images appeared to me. I never asked what these images meant to the people that had “seen” them in.

One time while looking at a guy’s heart chakra I encountered an unusual image. A man was driving a sports car with the top down up a mountainside along a twisting road. A plume of smoke curled out of the exhaust. I was baffled.

I asked the image – what is your meaning. Spelled out in the white billowing exhaust was the word: “SMOKESCREEN”. What will it take for me to see beyond this distraction? The sense that washed over me was – be humbled. “Let go of your abilities and the pride you possess in “seeing””. I let go and in an instant I was let into a small part of his heart that was tender and vulnerable.

“You don’t let many people see how tender, sensitive and vulnerable you are. You give people distractions and stories so they can’t see your tenderness,” I said.

“Oh my God,” he said nearly falling off his chair. “How did you know that? Its so true. I’m blown away.”

Later as my readership expanded into healing, the visual metaphors have come quickly accompanied by emotional messages, voices – some of them from the divine, intuitive “hits” and so on. In the beginning when an image appeared I’d ask to see it from a variety of angles including from the inside-out. Occasionally I’ve been directed to share the image with my client with astonishing results and peels of laughter..

When permission is given by phone, email or text, it doesn’t matter how distant the person is from me their inner world by virtue of their consent is there for me to view and ascertain. Images, intent, emotional factors are quickly revealed. Sometimes there is an intent to hide and I must enter to tease the situation apart so it can be seen and dealt with.

In many instants the healing occurs very quickly because I am allied with the inherent holism of their natural healing predilections. What sometimes happens are the habits and beliefs of the client based on their fears (some conscious and some unconscious) resets the problem. Re-programming thought and belief are difficult to work with and they can be done.