Nine Life Shaping Events and…

earth grids1loveflameEternity-copy2


My early life as a child and later as a teenager was punctuated by extraordinary events that helped shape all subsequent experiences.

Before I attended kindergarten I was eager to learn spelling, which included writing out my name. In the mid 1950s my parents did not send me to nursery school. Between birth and five years old my parents and younger sister and I lived in a second floor apartment that had once been part of an attic in one big house.

At age four I was lying in bed one night watching the floaters in the film of my eyes dart across the night-light lit ceiling of my bedroom. I believed the floaters were stars and I was trying to catch one of them. As soon as I thought I had one it would dart away. It was a futile activity and I don’t know how long I spent doing it. Perhaps I was awakening.

I asked Jesus to protect me. Then I felt Jesus put the heel of his hand near my groin while his fingertips just reached my throat. Even though my body was small, Jesus’s hand must have been extraordinarily big. And I felt safe, grateful and joyous. I saw a piece of glass on the floor.

I took the piece of glass and I carved Jesus’s name in the top drawer of my bureau. The “J” was backwards and the writing was wonky. I threw the piece of glass in the wastebasket and went back to sleep.

In the morning I thought it had all been a dream until I saw Jesus’s name carved in the top drawer of my bureau. I knew that I was going to be in trouble with my parents for defacing the furniture. They said nothing and seemed to pretend that it didn’t exist.

Years later through flashbacks I uncovered a memory of sexual abuse that my father had perpetrated and my mother had covered up. It put the Jesus memory in a context that made sense. I chose to remember my contiguous memory of Jesus’s protection even though I had acknowledged the abuse and its cover-up.



At eleven or twelve years of age my mother drove us to the mall in the adjacent town. “How do these cars not hit each other?” I was wondering in my mind. They are in this dance of cooperation. The dance was fascinating especially when I extrapolated this dance around the world.


At age twelve I had been wandering in the library and found two books. One book reflected my depressive self and the other my expansive self. The first book reflecting the depressive in me was “Notes from Underground” by Dostoyevsky. The second book – “The Future of Man” by Teilhard de Chardin reflected my expansive higher consciousness self. That evening I asked to talk with my father about not using fear to shape his children.


In the summer of 1967 at age fifteen while I was on vacation with my family on Cape Cod I hiked up the beach from Eastham by Nauset Light to Truro about twelve miles – north of the Marconi Station. I had a heart-based experience that love untied the world. It filled ne with bliss and ecstasy. Words pale. The experience was ineffable.


In the summer of 1968 at age sixteen while I was on vacation with my family on Cape Cod I went out onto the mudflats at low tide in Wellfleet. The sun was beginning to set. I leapt into the air and I felt “the world as one”. And in a vision I saw every being connected by beams of light, one heart to another. From space the entire planet was consumed by light.



In 1984 I was in a leadership-training course. I was 32 years old. Our group was team building on a Ropes Course near Woodland, California. One of our teammates was up in the trees preparing to jump onto a wobbly platform, supported in a safety harness by two burly fellows on the ground and two support people in the trees. Our support consisted of us yelling like rabid cheerleaders at her. It made no sense to me so I projected the supportiveness of my heart energy into the trees and towards her.

Something happened that I hadn’t expected.

I saw light coursing through the trunks and branches of the trees. Looking at the light streaming so quickly through the trees was intense.

I looked down. I looked at the ground and then at the bare skin on my left arm.

I saw inside my arm. Where blood was pumping through the arteries and veins I saw light pulsing.  Light from a near by leafy bush (the leaves were tender and sweet to look at) extended a cloudy plasmic field of light around my arm as if to comfort me.

At that time it was too intense for me to process it and I closed my eyes and prayed for normalcy.  When I opened by eyes moments later I saw what I had expected to see – all was normal and reassuring.


The Calling –


Eight, Nine and more – explore this blog.


Its all backwards or

spacewave1Expressions of Consciousness- the tiny aka human experience to the Greater…

Remembering that there is no window

What is the purpose of the human experience?

Where is the meaning?

On February 1, 1973 I attempted suicide, my stomach was pumped and I was in a coma for 3 and a half days. A priest was called to perform last rites. Apparently I woke from the coma and told the priest “Go fuck yourself.” I went back into the coma for another day and a half. I didn’t remember what I had said to the priest. My girlfriend told me. I woke from the coma around 3 pm on February 4th it was a Sunday, though I barely registered it.

Seventeen years later the calendar and the dates of the 1973 experience were synchronized, On Monday February 5th just before going to sleep I asked:

God, what am I suppose to do with my life?

 In the morning I woke and there had been no dream that answered my question. It was a question I did not expect an answer. Lying in bed and feeling groggy I had a strange experience:

A presence entered through my groin and curled up into a ball in my abdomen. A name came to me. It was someone I had met..

I didn’t expect to find the woman’s name in the phone book. If her name hadn’t been there I’d be off-the hook. It was there. I called her, apologized and reported the crazy experience I had had.

She reported that she had been curled up into the fetal position and had been thinking about killing herself. I made a verbal contract with her and an agreement to talk a couple of days from that Tuesday morning 2/6/90.

Two days later she related what had happened to her over the holidays and when I offered her the names of therapists to see she said:

The universe put you out there to hear my call and that all I needed.

Surrendering to the experience opened by inner world to “seeing” which had always been there and letting me facilitate healing for others.

It took me many years to connect the two experiences together and parse the meaning. The most obvious was erasing the karma of attempting to annihilate myself. And there was something else there. It was as if it had been written and I was being allowed a glimpse into a larger pattern of my life.


Many years later between 2000 and 2001 I had a television but it was not connected to broadcast TV or cable. So when the planes hit the World Trade Center on 9/11 thankfully I didn’t see these images until many years later. In November I was visiting a friend who had a Quantum Xeroid Machine. She asked me if I wanted to “do past lives”?

“Sure,” I said.

I expected that I might experience “a past life”.

She pressed a button and I “flew over ten thousand past lives I had had on Planet Earth”. I joined a partner being and was with 11 other partnered beings watch the physical Planet Earth form and anchoring “free will” to the planet. I was part of a being that was and is the spiritual guardian of Earth and all her beings. I traveled “further back” and was an alien on a rogue planet with its own light/heat source. I experimented in going all the way forward in my life and wound up at the beginning.

Then. I heard my friend repeating a word. After a long time I realized the word was my name in the current reality.

When I walked home it was night and foggy. I felt as if my ego had been stripped down and was inconsequential. That Americans were inconsequential, and that humans were also inconsequential. Consciousness is the only being that endures survives and evolves all the rest is superfluous.

The next day my ego returned and was full of myself as usual.


Our experience is backwards. We identify with this puny existence of our current lifetime. We don’t experience or remember that we are One-Unified-Consciousness experiencing a variety of lifetimes each has the potential to raise our consciousness allow us to evolve to increasingly higher levels until it is no longer necessary to return to the Earth Plain.

Of course there are the Bodhisattvas* such as the Dali Lama that chooses to return remembering previous lifetimes, serving as an example to assist us to remember that we are a Consciousness that transcends ego.

Our purpose here is to let go of the illusion of suffering and transmute the energy of pain and anguish into light, which is Love.

Our lives are analogous to looking out of a window of a building. As humans we have parameters. The building and the window are like the parameters of a human life. The window and the building define who and where we are. When we pass and shed the skin of the human body the building and the window have no meaning and fall away. They disappear.


The First Incarnation

We separate ourselves from our self and forget or repress our larger self. We strip away the largess of our Great Consciousness and become an individual who then incarnates within a family or a unit on Planet Earth.

Here there is more forgetting of what went before. We are experiencing life and sensuality for the hedonism of life for the first time. Addiction becomes rampant. The choices seem narrow and we push put against them greedy for more.

This is characteristic of a young soul or lightbody inhabiting a corporeal form – a physical body.


Subsequent Incarnations

As the lightbody matures the individual begins to care as much about themselves as they do for others. Choice is more varied. Addiction and attachment abound. They are only beginning to catch glimpses of the divinity of self.

Old souls or the eldest of lightbodies often reach enlightenment. This is a seeing beyond the current lifetime. There are many choices yet these beings choose love. They are able to see addition and attachment and they work to release. They work tirelessly to release and transmute suffering into light and love.

Many of these old souls never return to a human corporeal existence having completed coating their light being and completed their soul work ready to return to the next stage in an evolving Higher Consciousness. Or as stated earlier they return as Bodhisattvas* to help others reach a higher evolutionary path.



* Bodhisattva (in Mahayana Buddhism) a person who is able to reach nirvana but delays doing so out of compassion in order to save suffering beings.


Building Human Reality

Lightheadthe author with an illusion of light – what is the illusion?


Elon Musk was interviewed recently and reported great odds (in the billions) that we are in a computer generated reality. This implies an AI being controlled outside the scope of humans or previously more advanced humans from an ancient civilization. While possible there is another more insidious programming that already exists within human beings themselves.

We exist inside a virtual reality due to how our human limitations perceive what we call reality. Our perceptual facilities, our genetic code, our mammalian / biological nature in juxtaposition with: the biosphere, civilization, society, Planet Earth, the Solar System, the Milky Way galaxy, the multiverse factor in how we perceive / project reality.

Language is the means that we symbolize reality.

Humans have built reality and we are slaves to it. Very few have escaped slavery to become free.

The film “The Matrix” arose from a more insidious reality that we have already created – not built by AI but by the nature of humans as addictive beings who project their reality onto a wider world and then live within the narrow confines of the world that they have created. It’s easier to think that an advance AI created a simulated reality because this idea is yet another way to release us for our responsibilities to work to free ourselves from the slavery we have created. The forces of addiction and /or attachment are the elements or glue that hold the reality together and prevent slavery from being seen – so in short we believe we are free when we are enslaved.


Some basics of a finite system

When language was first developed ego began. Language is a structure of communication and processing thought into concepts. Language is the means that we symbolize reality. Symbolizing reality in this way is so entrenched in our lives we forget that it is a technology that defines and enslaves us within its linear time constraints. It is a seamless technology. Language defines and constrains who we are in some ways and liberates us in other ways but within its system of rules. Language separates us through subject and object connected through verbs and modifiers. Language defines us gives us identity and separates us from “me” and “not-me” concepts.

Humans seek to complete themselves, which is impossible under the finite rules of linear perception.

Ego and language are inseparable. Ego is identity in a group-based matrix or community / society / civilization. Ego and language make life possible, as we know it. Ego is the manager of linear time; it dictates what we do, how we do it, when we do it and what it means to us. Ego and language make curiosity possible. Sentences have a beginning, middle and end and are action-movies, they are motion driven along linear time.

I walked across the room.

“I” is the subject, “walked” the verb – past tense, “across” the preposition indicating location “the” definite article – making special the noun that follows it, “room” noun and object of the sentence. The sentence indicated that the action took place in the past along a linear time line.

If we were to form a sentence to satisfy the wholeness of our entire being there would no longer be a need to make more sentences. One of the reasons we create more sentences is to find completion. This is one of the bases of curiosity and creativity. However, language, ego and linear time are closed systems and human beings are open systems living with complex closed systems. Humans seek to complete themselves, which is impossible under the finite rules of linear perception.

Linear perception is grounded in many rules. Human perceptual faculties assist in supporting, defining and honing the rules that support slavery to the finite system. The finite system is invisible because we believe that we have free will. One reason for this belief is the life we live within this closed system. Open beings inside a closed system will always create illusions in order to believe that they are free. From the point of view of the closed system free will is a possibility, but a quick examination of our lives reveal many truths including how free will as we currently think of it is an illusion.


Actions, habits beliefs – the family

Setting societal class and money systems aside, we believe we live free of history, both personal, familial, racially, ethnically and nationally. So when we make a choice we assume it’s free because we are unaware of the underpinnings of that choice.

Family teaches children. Children inevitable learn “do as I say, not as I do,” from parents. We unconsciously adopt beliefs from our parents including behaviors that contradict those beliefs. Even when we rebel against a belief of our parents we are still bound by emotional glue to a reaction response, which holds us in a dyad of prescribed behavior. We learn from our parents who learned from their parents and so on throughout history.

My father rebelled against “the government” because he transposed his rebellion against his father to a entity that couldn’t thrash him directly. It was safer to rebel against something so big and impersonal as the government. I rebelled against my Father directly – against the war in Vietnam and he thrashed me. I rebelled against the republican and conservative philosophies as a way of rebelling against my father. Having “seen” these beliefs in my father and the emotional underpinnings of his behaviors I have forgiven him for his violence and manipulation against me. However I am still a slave to this behavior on some levels. Working on it.

We hold conflicting beliefs.

How we respond to romantic partners is shaped by our relationship to our opposite sexed or dominant parent and how we perceived the behavioral and emotional interactions with their partners. Part of our attraction to romantic partners is a desire to feel the familiar – how we felt in our families. Its what we know. When we become aware of this dynamic we may try to fix/heal our family of origin and /or our primary relationship as a way of resolving our relationship with our opposite sex partner or dominant partner and our mother or father. Or divorce and start again with the same or a different facet of the same person. Or we learn to live with our partner that represents something healthier.

We assume that the predominant personality presenting itself in the now is master of our world. The extreme of the Dissociative Identity Disorder (formerly Multiple Personality Disorder) is on a continuum between the highly dysfunctional to a function acceptability of differs selves within us. There is no Master but an array of different selves that rise up from the sub or unconscious sea with us. For instance I might say I have decided to lose weight by cutting out sweets. Hours later I see a fudge chocolate cookie that I eat without a second thought. Who was it that ate that cookie in me? A whimsical impulse driven child perhaps? It certainly wasn’t the decider that chose hours before to stop eating sweets.

We hold conflicting beliefs. We may have high ethical beliefs but we may not follow them. A friend did a statistical study of 6th graders. She found that most all of the students had many altruistic beliefs but did not follow them depending on a number of factors.

Capitalism requires an increasing division of things and services and a consumer base to fuel the engine of this system. Media including the sensory input of all that is visual and auditory drives to capture and excite the whim in us with the pull of associative memory to capture our attention.



[I’m intentionally ignoring most of the traditional and invisible perceptual facilities that we utilize in navigating the world for investigation later.]

 Attention is the first building block of consciousness. An understanding three stances of attention is a useful tool in the quest to see beyond the projected reality we as humans have created.

First the rudimentary aspects of attention via The Merriam-Webster Dictionary definition of attention:

1. a : the act or state of applying the mind to something Our attention was on the game. You should pay attention to what she says.
b : a condition of readiness for such attention involving especially a selective narrowing or focusing of consciousness and receptivity Students, do I have your attention?

  1.  : observation, notice; especially : consideration with a view to action a problem requiring prompt attention

all thinking is associative

 In the definition above is an implicit meaning of the focusing of attention from a subject to an object. Attention in linear time is associated with focus, a narrowing bandwidth in which to concentrate consciousness in an active and receptive fashion. When attention is focused it means to put aside extraneous associative thinking and concentration vision and auditory facilities on a point. Another facet of attention is the dualistic notion of the origin of attention – a person focusing and the object that the person is focusing on.

Humanity is caught in a dualistic dilemma, which limits thought to a binary sequence of on/off, either/or, right/wrong and so on. This is the dilemma of the pattern of all thinking. In short all thinking is associative. One though is associated with another. A human cannot hold two thoughts in consciousness at the same time. We can switch rapidly between two thoughts giving the illusion of multi-tasking. Many studies have debunked multitasking as a skill and show it as a way of shattering attention making the work less efficient.

Due to how we think as humans association naturally leads to dualistic thinking even though we all know that problems are more complex than black or white. Underneath the surface of associative thinking is a process that though fleeting at first can offer an in-between place between dualistic and /or associative thinking. This is a neutral place.

we are already enslaved by the history of beliefs, by the limits of perception, by habit that runs into a seamless unconscious flow

Before exploring the neutral place there are three centers of neuronal activity in the human body. The first is our top brain – the cerebral cortex, the second is the heart brain and the third is the gut brain. So far the discussion has involved only the cerebral cortex. [Aside: the other two brain impulses are always interpreted through the cerebral cortex.]

The Heart Brain is the seat of emotional impressions and regulates the heart muscle. The Gut Brain – or in Chinese Medicine – the Chi regulated the moving center or the Corporeal Body’s Brain as well as assimilation of nutrients and elimination of waste.

Expanding attention in a world that seeks to erode it is an increasingly difficult

Perhaps the neutral place was once a known intrinsic function of ancient humans before written history. Now it must be cultivated. The basis of its cultivation begins with the body and body knowing as the grounding of neutrality. Once neutrality has been noticed if only for fleeting moments then the fulcrum between duality begins to come into play. Attention begins to expand into higher forms. Attention is stretched as to allow more information to be processed especially when neutrality is cultivated.


Pushing Attention

As humans we are succumbing to sensory overload through the devices that stream technology and as a result our attention span is diminishing. Socio-economic forces fueled by power-possessors seeking to increasingly divide our attention and enslave us. And we are already enslaved by the history of beliefs, by the limits of perception, by habit that runs into a seamless unconscious flow. Room for play and creativity is nearly non-existent amongst children.

push the limits of reality

Expanding attention in a world that seeks to erode it is an increasingly difficult and unpopular task. Invariably during my work with clients trance-work is called for as a way of “seeing” the currents of habit that run below the surface of consciousness. Trance work requires dividing attention between what is being said and the flow underneath the speech. To effectively listen to their story and maintain a light trance state for receptively receiving impressions is made possible through the fulcrum of the neutral place. The trance state reveals an interdimensional reality that is at once separate and blended with the reality that we recognize.

Experimenting with lengthening attention and using attention in active / receptive and neutral ways then we can begin to push against the limits of how we project reality and become enslaved by it. The first step in solving a problem is recognizing that there is one.

We often equate perceptual attention with the visual. Our attention is drawn to something. The amount of visual stimuli that we allow ourselves to be subjected to is overwhelming. Here is a simple experiment in visual attention:

  1. Sit in a chair in a lit room and pick a point to look at opposite to where you are sitting.
  2. While looking at the point and not moving your eyes from that point pay attention to what is in your peripheral visual field, noting what is there.
  3. If you’ve moved your eyes from focusing on the point you have failed the exercise and start again.
  4. After a minute to five minutes stop. Close your eyes and recall what was in your periphery field. Now look at the area surrounding the point. Did you catch all the items that you noticed in the field?

This is an example of utilizing receptive sensory awareness and expanding attention to push the limits of reality. It’s a very mild push and it’s a beginning.

The use of trance, selective listening and the neutral point can be another tool in extending attention and awareness to places beyond ordinary reality.

The person begins speaking as I am prompted to drop-down into trance. I pop back and forth between worlds. Listening is half-listening and at times full listening. The trance state allows for a deeper level of receptive listening that gleans information and provides texture for the story that the client is weaving.

 After years of cultivating the neutral place within switching back and forth between worlds is easier and is one step closer to breaking free of the slavery which keeps me in an enslaved place. However I run on automatic just as many others do so I am still a slave to my habits and beliefs.


Acknowledging Perceptual Filters

The following five categories except number 1 may not represent all the perceptual facilities / filters that we as humans work with.

The obvious perceptions:

  1. Sight
  2. Sound,
  3. Touch,
  4. Taste
  5. Odor
  6. Balance
  7. Movement / Direction

The ignored perceptual facilities:

  1. Associative thought
  2. Perceiving emotion
  3. Memory (personal, familial, societal and their histories)
  4. Familial meta-rules
  5. Societal meta-rules


III. Unconscious biological perceptual facilities:

  1. Genetic interaction with the world based on familial and personal patterns
  2. Somatic knowing


IV. Underdeveloped perceptual facilities:

  1. Empathic perception
  2. Telepathic perception
  3. Transcending Linear Time


V. Transcendent perceptual facilities:

  1. Inter and trans dimensional perception
  2. Perception of invisible worlds
  3. Conscious bi-location
  4. Recognizing and transcending layers of illusion


All of these perceptual filters except number 5 are agreements that shape the projection we call reality. I believe that part of our mission as humans on planet earth is breaking through the illusions of the projection while transmuting suffering into energy or light / consciousness so that we make work to evolve into a higher consciousness state. Usually those that have completed this process are free to release the corporeal human state and live in the next stage of consciousness. Some do return to the projected human reality as Bodhisattvas to assist others in recognizing the illusion that we all create and help them with its release.








A New Kind of Christmas Prayer


My mother liked buying Christmas cards all year long. She had huge clear plastic bags of them in the cedar closet and elsewhere in our house.

I told people I was from the future.

In my 20s she invited me to take some to send. I took some, she said take more… So I selected bunches that were all the same painting. I wasn’t much into sending Christmas cards but I took them because my mom wanted me to have some. I think she was overwhelmed with the amount of the cards she had stored up.

Every year for many years I had many of these Christmas cards. It was impossible to send them all to people I knew – maybe I had over 100 cards.

universal wishes

Every since I could remember I longed for a better world as if I had a memory of this world. Perhaps I did remember a different world because I told people I was from the future. I could feel a world and people at peace with themselves, everyone in the community, not just locally but nationally and internationally. And not just with people, but will all the beings of Earth. Often we ascribe life to biological beings only, I saw and I see all beings, rock, water, air and our sun as beings.

There’s something magical about getting mail (snail mail) from yourself especially if you don’t immediately remember that you sent it.

Every year sometime in my 20s I would write a Christmas card to myself with 7 wishes written inside. Four or five were universal wishes and the other two or three were personal. There’s something magical about getting mail (snail mail) from yourself especially if you don’t immediately remember that you sent it.

I began practicing finding a sense of peace within myself

You retrieve it from the post box and look at the envelope. The writing / printing looks familiar. You rip it open and your remember that old mill in winter and your read the wishes. I stopped sending cards when I ran out and I had begun thinking that wishes were melancholy ways to stay stuck – keeping wishes as wishes that would never come true because they postponed the event into a future that didn’t exist.

Create the peace you want in yourself and be it in the world.

I began to visualize using all my senses to what world peace might feel, look, smell and be like. I began practicing finding a sense of peace within myself and finding threads that would connect peace feelings to others.

I invite you to send a snail mail card to yourself of your wishes and then visualize with your thoughts and senses and your emotions what you are creating now. Create the peace you want in yourself and be it in the world.

For an unwind hot non-alcoholic beverage in a mug try:

Lost and – Found

IMG_3104 brain_f2

As I get older I seem to lose stuff. I lost my cell phone a few years back, called my provider had them deactivate the account and then a few hours later found the phone. Where? It was where I had left it. But I didn’t employ the finding techniques I have sometimes used to find lost or misplaced stuff.

A friend who has since passed into another life without her body passed on this technique:

The Eye-Flicking – Remembering where I put It – tool

The women that discovered / invented EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) for dealing with people suffering from PTSD, used eye movement to recover and reintegrate repressed memories. My friend said – though this may not have been accurate that the woman, Francine Shapiro was flicking her eyes back and forth to allow a memory to return. My friend said it was possible to move throughout one’s home – flick your eyes back and forth – not in an attempt to visually find the object that you lost but to uncover the memory of where it was. This worked for me a few times.

Cleaning one’s house tool – Frantically cleaning your house to find where you misplaced stuff – works sometimes but not enough.

The Tony-Tony tool – was given to me by a good friend of Italian-American heritage who passed away too young (in my book). Tony is short for St. Anthony finder of lost objects and who also had an undying love and devotion to the poor and the sick. Here’s how this works:

  1. begin with this chant: “Tony, Tony, come around, something’s lost and must be found.” It could be chanted x3.
  2. Wait until it shows up – up to 48 hours
  3. If it shows give anywhere from $1 to $20 to St. Anthony’s to help feed the poor at Christmas.

This worked the best for me. Back in the day when I didn’t have much money to give I started with a dollar. When it reached 10 found items of more I wrote a check to St. Anthony’s of San Francisco, CA.

A Code of Conduct for Men with Women, Children and Other Men


Or Equality Hugging


Men are in a position of power in this culture because of their gender and that has been invisible for the most part to them. Women have known about the abuses of men’s power positions for as long as the patriarch is old. It’s becoming more visible now, thankfully and has a long way to go. Men have set many precedents to treat women and others as objects to be subjugated and this has remained acceptable and even hailed as “good” amongst men and some women.

Men who have been victims of sexual crimes such as rape, sexual assault, violations, incest and ritualized sexual abuse as children and feel to be victims / survivors are keenly aware of men’s power than those men acting as perpetrators.

A Possible Code of Conduct

When I was recovering from memories of having been raped as a child I began to create boundaries. Many people men and women make a tacit assumption – it is okay to hug. Amongst my friends and acquaintances I had to stop people from hugging me. I asked them to ask me if was okay to hug me.

Some men employ the bear-hug. This is a clamping down on the hugee to a point where the hugee is crushed by the hugger. Most hugs are unequal. There is a hugger and a hugee. The hugger gives a hug or is the aggressive hugger – even if gentle. The receiver of the hug does just that – receives without choice in the matter. Most hugs are not shared they are given and received. An aggressive hugger can “get-off” sexually on the hug without any seeming impropriety. The best a receiver of a hug may be able to do is the A-Frame Hug. They lean into the giver’s hug with their head and shoulders. Only the very top of their chests may be in contact with the other.


The Code of Conduct is Simple

Step One:

“May I give you a hug?”

“Yes.”     Or      “No.”


Step Two:

Or you could re-frame the experience:

“May I give you a hug?” Could be met with:

“No, but I will share a hug with you.”

“Same difference,” the hug perpetrator could say.

Response – Walk away

Or they could say: “What does that mean?”

If its said sarcastically its probably best to refuse all together and walk away.


In sharing a hug –

Each hugger gives and receives the hug equally.

Explanation and practice required.


Am I splitting hairs? Maybe, but I don’t think so…



4-magicThe duck pond on the Sonoma Plaza 🙂


On an early Sunday morning in February of 1983 my best friend Kent and I went to Sonoma and the Valley of the Moon.

I had moved to the Stockton area in 1982 to live and work with Bhante – the Dharmawara Mahathera and learn Vipassana Meditation in greater depth. However I rebelled against being a devotee – something he had wanted (not me) and moved out.

Hanging out at the Blackwater Café in Stockton I came to know Kent. We became good friends. He introduced me to the magic of Sonoma.

His introduction was replete with great wisdom and insight.

I am eternally grateful to him for opening the door to my home.

We left around 6 am in the dusk of a cold morning on that February. He drove his van with his dog and me across the delta towards Sonoma. He had a knack for introducing me to the magic of Sonoma and the Valley of the Moon with his mythic-poetic musings peppered into our conversations.

We missed Bill at perform with his guitar at the church. We met Bill and his wife Shirley at the First Congregational Church on West Spain Street in Sonoma at the tail end of the 7 am Service. Then Kent drove us to their cabin near the top of Moon Mountain Drive in Sonoma. We ate brunch and talked.

My third eye opened wide upon entry into the Sonoma Valley.

Kent and I took a short walk on the fire trail to the south of their house and he waxed on about castles in Europe appearing out of the fog – such as the fog in the valley.

Something quite unexpected had happened that day. I digress – that for the past 18 months I had been doing an inner exercise – a meditation in the morning to create light for the “soul’s body” and open the 3rd eye. My third eye opened wide upon entry into the Sonoma Valley.

I felt the town welcomed me, just as Mount Diablo “spoke” to me about becoming a healer. Of course the impressions didn’t come in English but I translated them into language for a better understanding. At first I explained the opening of my Third Eye by all the spiritual work that was done by others in the valley.

Many years after another answer came to me in a softer manner. It was the land herself, the configuration of the Valley of the Moon and the power center (the Plaza) of Sonoma Valley that has been a source of mystery and powerful transformation. I believe the way in which Kent introduced me to Sonoma and the Valley was replete with great wisdom and insight. I am eternally grateful to him for opening the door to my home.

Towards the end of this Field of Dreams film clip Burt Lancaster’s character Doc Graham makes a powerful statement about “home”. This is how it is for me in Sonoma.

PS I give workshops/individual sessions in some of the magical places in Sonoma


“Why Traps” – an Affirming Present or a Future Expectation of Negative Outcomes

brain_f2 Psychoanalysis uncovers the genesis of a problem or problems rooted in the unconscious and when understood by the conscious mind there is an occurrence of healing. This is a vast oversimplification and it belongs to a world of mechanistic cause and effect relationships with an assumption that the mind unlocks healing.

Our brains are hardwired for fear and possible negative outcomes.

This myth is perpetuated into logical thought and the some of shortcomings of the scientific method. In other words psychoanalysis has perpetuated an assumption that thought and the will can overcome unconscious traumas of childhood. That would be true if everyone lived in a cause and effect world.

Fears and anxieties based on an expectation of a negative outcome is an urge some people to begin to try and think how to escape the negative outcome. This in-turn encourages more thinking to solve the problem. This is the cycle of worry or obsessive thinking. The pattern of this kind of thinking may soothe the thinker for a nanosecond but then initiates the obsessive pattern again. The worrier doesn’t use fear to attract the negative outcome to themselves but allows them to find situations were the negative pattern manifests. [People come to me and ask about romantic relationships they inevitably say they feel in-love for the person because it feels “right” and “familiar”. The root word of “familiar” is family. After a few dates I suggest some questions. If the person asking me is a woman talking about a man, I ask the woman about her relationship with her father. I suggest that the woman ask the man about his relationship with his mother. You get the idea.] The family we were raised in represented a particular world. Some offspring leave the world of the dysfunction – often cause and effect relationships for a world in the present and they may slip back into the cause and effect world when encountering a parent or two or siblings. The function of expectation for a negative outcome is key and this is often an unconscious process.

When we humans feel joy and happiness expectation falls away.

Our brains are hardwired for fear and possible negative outcomes. This took place over a long period of time probably tens of thousand of years and was based in survival against real danger, such as being attacked and eaten by predators. Eventually the patterns that helped our ancestors cope with dangers were substituted with fears based on anxieties about our negative expectations of a future based on a causal world.


When we humans feel joy and happiness expectation falls away. These are emotions that expand and uplift and belong to a different reality than the expectations of negative outcomes and how to solve them. Expectations of negative outcomes and its solution – obsessional thinking curl us into self-protective loops that create conditions for suffering and breakdowns. Joy and happiness belong to a separate reality divorced from expectation and in the world of the present.

This takes a compassionate neutral place within our Being.

I had a friend that would ask me “Why?” to whatever subject she was grappling with at the time. I would answer that “Why?” questions assume that if one knew the reason for this or that problem then there would be a self-evident solution. “Why” questions belong to the cause and effect world of psychoanalysis. Cause and effect worlds are less complex and predictable. The Higher Worlds predicated in the present are more complex because the emotions of joy, happiness and love open us and make “Why” questions superfluous. The intellect and rational thought is not the answer to everything.

Overcoming worry and causal realities takes time and effort. Awareness is the first step. Awareness must be free of judgment. The spin of worry / obsessional thinking must be observed without judgment. This takes a compassionate neutral place within our Being. This place requires cultivation. Once the force of a witness is sufficiently cultivated we become aware when we are obsessing and have an expectation for a negative outcome.


A conscious breath may be enough to interrupt the pattern for a second. The use of distraction, moving out pattern of thinking to feelings of hope and joy may help us shift out of the pattern. Repeated efforts along these lines are necessary throughout our lives because of the hard-wiring of our brain explained above. For a better habit to replace a bad habit- especially one that is hardwired into our brains must be continually practiced.

I have noticed that breakthroughs into other worlds and even into a “place” beyond time are possible.


Light in Blood – The Light imbues – All

(NOTE: Some of the material was previously posted from December 2016 see link below)

In the summer of 1968 I was with my family on Cape Cod near the Nauset Lighthouse.  One day I walked five miles up the coast to sand dunes.  It was there I had a peak experience of everyone on the planet connected by love and light.

I was “seeing” Earth from space where all was connected by light (and love). I felt oneness with all ~ ecstasy!

In 1984 I was in a leadership training course. Our group was team building on a Ropes Course near Woodland, California. One of our teammates was up in the trees preparing to jump onto a wobbly platform, supported in a safety harness by two burly fellows on the ground and two support people in the trees. Our support consisted of us yelling like rabid cheerleaders at her. It made no sense to me so I projected the supportiveness of my heart energy into the trees and towards her.

Something happened that I hadn’t expected.

I saw light coursing through the trunks and branches of the trees. Looking at the light streaming so quickly through the trees was intense.

I looked down. I looked at the ground and then at the bare skin on my left arm.

I saw inside my arm. Where blood was pumping through the arteries and veins I saw light pulsing.  Light from a near by leafy bush (the leaves were tender and sweet to look at) extended a cloudy plasmic field of light around my arm as if to comfort me.

At that time it was too intense for me to process it and I closed my eyes and prayed for normalcy.  When I opened by eyes moments later I saw what I had expected to see – all was normal and reassuring.