Being work is difficult to describe because words are separate representations of reality in action or ego related finite mindsets.
Recently I had a powerful encounter with a woman that I had gone to HS with whose FB friendship ended.
My guides advised me to “Go Wide”- meaning go wide as possible to include all beings. With momentary releases of ego in minute fractions of nanoseconds _ was – is shared being with Planet Earth offering love, freedom, peace and consciousness. From ego I have no idea from my little self whether the feelings of Love and Freedom were accepted as offered.
Questions arose from what ego thought of as the creator (God?).
Questions from the Being of Creation arose with: How does Being act or move?
Answer: Being does not act or move. Being is urged into being.
Question: What urges Being?
A: Creation urges Being.
Q: What is Creation? Or, where is Creation?
A: Creation is in the Being of Everything and is everywhere even in anti-matter and dark matter. Creation is the urge that creates Being. Being includes without taking action.
After having experienced a wider perspective and the infinite inclusiveness of Being and having returned to ego I felt profound peace, love / consciousness and freedom that these words are a flimsy representation of the expansive ineffable multiverse in which Being includes. While including could be viewed as a receptive action from ego’s point of view – from Being it is not an action per se. And since it falls out of linear time into no-time there are no words for this Being State.
This wish is that everyone could experience this… Being inclusiveness. Word fail.
In these days of social distancing feeling close to others, loved ones, family, extended family and friends is heart-wrenchingly difficult.
Allow a resonance of feeling to arise in your heart.
The next best experience of physical touch is heart to heart contact which can be done over great distances. Some of you may already know this. Here are a few suggestions and guidelines –
This can be a heart to heart contact – or making space for your loved ones – family, friends, marriage partner, lover – literally imagine a space next to you on the couch, chair, or bed and inviting their emotional presence to be near you. It helps to visualize how they appear to you.
And / or you can use the technology of phones, FaceTime, Skype or Zoom.
The heart is the source of emotion. There are neurons in the heart similar to the ones in our brains. Our cognitive processes (the neocortex) interpret, delineate and name emotions that we feel – from the heart. Our neocortex also screens love through opinions, beliefs and judgments to interpret love into a context that our egos can become attached to such as romantic love; love in a long-term relationship or marriage; or a parent’s love of a child for example. The love that is beyond ego is the resonance you may feel in your heart as you practice the “I-am”
Love is the underpinning of all emotions.
The purpose of the “I-Am” exercise is to activate and affirm our emotional presence.
One of my teachers, Bhante, lends his presence near to me since he left his body at 110. He taught meditation and the unwrapping of illusion to help reveal our Being within.
Being is love. Being does nothing. Being is.
Once ego is dropped, if for only a moment Being can be realized and enlightenment begins. Love that is Being emerges and is all life everywhere.
Practicing the “I-Am”
Or Listen to the audio file:
Find a chair, turn off or mute your phone for the next ten to fifteen minutes or so. Sit; leave your eyes open and pick a spot to look at on the floor. Later as you get the hang of it, you can do the I-Am anywhere without anyone noticing.
Breath-in focusing your attention on your sternum, the place between your pecs or your breasts and say “I” silently to yourself.
As you get to the top of your inhalation hold your breath a nano-second, or two.
As you exhale, still keeping your attention at your sternum, say silently to your-self “Am” on the out breath.
Repeat this for 7 to 12 times.
You may notice a resonance or a special sensual feeling developing there. Eventually you can drop holding your pause in breath at the top and do continuous “I-Am”s.
Make the Phone Call – the Skype – FaceTime – or Zoom contact as you notice the resonance or special feeling.
Listen and respond with your “I-Am” exercise or the resonance of your heart. You don’t have to continue to do the “I-Am” constantly throughout your audio and / or video contact, just when you remember and / or are listening.
Listen deeply with a softening heart.
Don’t offer advice.
Just be a witness to their sadness, loneliness, heartbreak, worry, fears, anxiety or their joy, fun, bliss, exuberance and / or love.
You’ll feel some of or all of those feelings too.
By merely witnessing your friend’s and/or loved-one’s emotions of course you’ll feel it in yourself and by being there for them you’ll act as vent to help release their negative feelings and celebrate the positive ones and yours in that moment.
After you get the hang of it you can teach the “I-Am” to your friends, relatives and/or loved-ones. In the meantime, if appropriate ask if they need help. Offer help if you can and if you want – don’t do it from obligation or the expectation of reciprocity.
The resonance or special feeling created at your sternum can enhance an emotional connection and remind us that we can connect through the love we feel in our hearts for one another.
In 1967 at age 15 I had this experience:
I stood surrounded by the sand in the luxurious quiet and breathed in relief under a hot sun.
A feeling spread over me:
Time seemed to stop. I was agog in wonder; my hands went to either side of my open mouth. When I let go of my arms they gracefully fell through woven layers of white light to my sides. I was surrounded by this light so refined, comforting and beautiful – I was filled with bliss. All the people of the earth were woven into this light so that distance had melted by love or light. We were all in a sea of light close and far simultaneously.
And in 2003:
I used to make space for my physically absent lover on the bench seat of my truck when I would drive home from work. We felt each other side by side when I did this.
The bond of our love grew stronger as a result.
If your having trouble with the “I-Am” you may be trying too hard, or you may need to get grounded first. Try a A_Grounding_Practice
This practice is designed to find a middle way within. In other words, I find that helps to create a place between acting out anger or rage and running away – fear. Anger when expressed effectively does not become toxic (see Men-Anger-and-Rage-in-the-Toxic-Patriarchy).
The Peace Practice can calm us for a more compassionate thoughtful response to emerge.
I was taught this practice or exercise as a way to relieve the desire to light a cigarette. The practice only worked if I did not pick-up a cigarette in my hand. Once the cigarette was between my fingers it went straight to the mouth and was the lit – too late. The technique was simple enough that I began to incorporate it into the work I was already engaged in – into developing an impartial compassionate witness within.
I expanded the technique to help cultivate a place of peace within myself. This exercise can be done anywhere. To begin for the first time, I recommend starting by sitting. To identify where you’ll be sending your attention bring one hand to the back of your neck. Using your fingers trace up the neck to where your spine meets your skull. There is a bump there and a space between your vertebrae. That’s the spot. You can remove your hand and place them in a comfortable position at or near your waist or on your knees.
Sit quietly and put your attention on the spot. Visualize your in breath going to that spot. Hold it there for the briefest of moments and exhale (see photo below). That is the Peace Practice or exercise.
The place of attention in the Peace Practice is in the brain stem where the medulla is located and is part of the flight or fight response. Anti-depressants such as Paxil – for impulse-control-related depressive moods interrupts the flight or fight response in the same area of the brain.
The time the flight or fight response is essential in situations where immediate danger is immanent. In modern civilization this function is still expressed and is often an inappropriate maladaptive response within complex social behaviors.
The Peace Practice can calm us to allow for a more compassionate thoughtful response to emerge. Like any practice the Peace Practice takes time to develop for better effectiveness.
Garden of Delights breakfast and lunch restaurant 113 C Highland St. Worcester, MA
From 1975 to early 1976 I had one of the best part-time jobs of my life if you could even call it a job. It combined two of my favorite past-times: driving and having fun. It also revealed a few other tasks I excelled at – more on those later.
I began as a dishwasher in a lunch and dinner restaurant – the Garden of Delights on Highland Street in Worcester, Massachusetts. Inside it was all black – black walls, black ceilings, interrupted by two tropical fish tanks, spider plants with their own grow lights and placards with single cell cartoons each with their own illuminated lights and a few maps and prints. This was the work of Tinker and Princess. They were the owners of the restaurant. It was obvious that Tinker had done the interior work / décor.
Tinker was dressed in all black with long black hair and custom-made shoes that curled up at the toes with tiny bells on them. He made them, of course, along with his black vest and its many pockets. He may have bought the wide-brimmed black hat. Princess was the chef. She created the specials that changed every week. It was a vegetarian restaurant except for the tuna of the very famous open-faced tuna melts on toast.
It was a special place at a special time.
Dish washing was not my most favorite task, actually it was my least favorite task. But everyone that worked there brought in a vinyl rock LP that was stacked about 15 records high on the spindle. We’d rock out all night long as we worked, worked, worked.
My good friend, Valerie who worked there, as a waitress, told me they were looking for a driver to pick-up food and supplies for the restaurant. Tinker and Princess did not own a car. My job was to pick up food for the week on one day and make bank deposits. I started in the spring of 1975. I drove my 1969 VW Bug which was mostly a good car for pick-up.
I went to Mitchell’s Bakery every Wednesday and shopped for the rest of the stuff on Thursdays to my recollection. At Mitchell’s I would buy 100 loaves of whole wheat bread and 50 pounds of fresh ground Mocha Java Coffee; I loved the aroma of all those coffee beans being ground into the bags. They would grind the beans as I loaded the bread in the bug. Next stop – Stop ‘n Shop for cans of White Albacore Tuna – it was the only brand of Tuna where dolphins were not attracted to the nets of the fishing boats. On the other day I’d do everything else:
Off to the Greek Market for 2 to 3 pounds of Feta Cheese, jaw with the owner.
On the opposite side of town was a cheese wholesaler open to the public where I would buy Gouda and Muenster in large bars, no need for cutting. A woman customer remarked once: “You must have a big family?” “You have no idea,” I cracked.
Then to the bank for a deposit.
The cheese wholesaler stopped carrying 50-pound wheels of Aged Vermont Cheddar Cheese, so Princess or Tinker had to locate a different source. I was given an address down in the warehouse section of Worcester. I parked and started to walk towards the enormous building whose sign read: Boston Beef. I had to laugh. A Natural Foods restaurant that did not serve poultry or red meat was the address I was sent to. In my minds eye I could see Tinker and Princess laughing.
There was a buzzer at a side door. A guy with a hard-hat and a white blood-soaked coat arrived there. I gave him my name, the name of the business and the product I wanted. He had me wear a hard-hat. We walked through the place with beef hanging on hooks deep into the back of the building. He opened the door to a cold-storage locker and brought out a giant wheel of cheese. It was on account and I signed it and he gave me a receipt. Then I hiked out with him. He took the hat and away I went.
I’d go over their apartment a block away from the restaurant for food experiments that Princess would try out for the three of us – as vegetarian dinner specials. After dinner in the dining room amid the low slung and bean bags chairs surrounded by industrial sized wooden spools for tables and swing arms mounted on stands with an alligator clip at the end of each arm, four arms all together. It was the lazy person’s way of smoking a joint. Well one of the three of us would have to get the joint and transfer it to the next clip, oh such work for “the slammed”.
Summer was great. But the winter of 75 – 76 with the snow storms and the sludge was a drag. On a Wednesday I did a small bit of driving in the city and then off to pick-up 80 gallons of organic Apple Cider and Juice in Sterling north of the city about 30 miles. It had started snowing during my morning run, it was light, but wet.
a 4-foot exact replica of Donald Duck made of solid sharp Vermont Cheddar Cheese with toothpicks holding the pieces together
When I arrived at the mill the parking lot up to the loading deck wasn’t plowed yet. I had stripped all superfluous stuff including two small sandbags from the trunk in order to fit all the cider in the Bug. There wasn’t enough weight in the from to get across the parking lot. Two guys around my age stood on the front bumpers and the drive over to the loading dock was one of ease.
It was an engineering feat getting those 80 gallons of glass bottles loaded with that sweet nectar into the car. There were 60 gallons of cider and 20 gallons of juice: 4 gallons to a box. I tried loading them with the backseat down, but it worked better with it up because I could get some boxes on the floor. Boxes in the passenger seat and one on the floor and two in the trunk with it tied down by some cord. I laughed.
Later, on a winter’s Wednesday morning I was taking a shortcut back to the G.O.D. from the bank. There had been two heavy snows earlier in the week and it was snowing lightly when I came into a very tiny traffic circle. It was the exact same time a woman in a Mercedes entered from the right and I pumped the breaks to stop. It wasn’t enough. Our bumpers crunched. My bug was more damaged than hers. It was clearly my fault. We exchanged insurance information and phone numbers.
When I got back Princess and Tinker could see something had happened. It was around 10:30 am before the place opened. There was another guy there in a suit. I explained what had happened. Fortunately, my work for that day was done.
“What can we do,” they both asked. I didn’t know. The suit, Tom, had overheard me. He told me he had just graduated from Law School but hadn’t taken the Massachusetts Bar yet. He wondered if he could investigate the accident for me.
“Sure,” I said.
He had me draw a map of how I hit the car and the names of streets etc.
Later I negotiated with Princess and Tinker for one free meal a week, all the free coffee I could drink and to smoke pot with them in the basement after my run once in a while.
They both beamed:
“Yes. Good. Anytime,” they said.
A few weeks later Tom was waiting for me when I returned from my run. He told me that she was driving the wrong way down a one-way street, but hadn’t seen the signs: one was broken off by a plow and the other signs were covered by piles of snow.
In the meantime, I had used a heavy-duty rope to pull my bumper out. I called the woman on the phone and explained the new situation. She was beside herself. But since I had done my own “repairs” I told her there was no need for our insurance companies to get involved. Relieved and disappointed, she agreed and that was that.
Near St. Patrick’s Day ’76 Prink, Princess had shortened her name to match Tinker and they had become Prink and Tink, she had me drive her to a deli south of Clark University on Main. On the way there she told me her real name:
“And you have to promise never to tell anyone. Okay?”
“Yeah, sure. No problem.”
“And I’m thinking of going to the Culinary Institute of America in New York.”
“Oh God, the CIA,” and we both laughed.
By early spring of ’76 I had to stop working there due to faltering grades at Clark. I graduated in May of ‘76
Years later – in ’77 Tink found me and invited me and Val to their Thanksgiving Day Feast at the GOD for all employees past and current complete with a 40-pound turkey, stuffing, and all the fixings including a veggie alternative. And pies, pies, pies and a cheese cake, the same kind I used to get – the one that was so thick and sticky you had to cut it with waxed dental floss.
Tink made a 4-foot exact replica of Donald Duck made of solid sharp Vermont Cheddar Cheese with toothpicks holding the pieces together.
What a riot.
In 1986 the Gardens of Delights was gone… Nobody knew what happened. Prink and Tink had disappeared. Someone had said the owner of the building had raised the lease… but no one really knew.
The Trees are my friends who speak in a language (not English, nor a human language) that is too slow for us fast moving humans to perceive. It’s more than likely that we have all had opportunities and may have felt the presence of trees.
reconnecting with the sacred inside us through a personal relationship with a tree
The Japanese practice of “forest bathing” an immersion in the woods or forest is a cleansing experience. Certainly, I have noticed the peace that the forest affords. I have experienced it in myself and observed the outward manifestation in others in the forest. [Amongst others there is a stream of conversation that goes on and on. The talk abrupt stops as they have detoxed enough and notice the trees and are quiet much like the quiet of a church service.]
Upon entering the forest or woods I automatically dip into the stream of consciousness that many carry with us whether that comes in the form of an inner dialogue, music and/or visual images. For me it’s mostly visual images sometimes with dialogue or narration that is the streaming junk of my daily life. Then it stops.
Wow, there are Trees Here!
When it does stop I notice my surroundings. Peace emerges and pervades my being as I stand near a copse of trees on the path in the woods. Sometimes when I stop moving and the stream of conscious ceases I feel the presence of large boulders, tall trees, a stream or brook, maybe a small waterfall. I feel washed clean by the powers of nature.
feeling of being grounded and connected to Earth; our shared home.
There they are – these standing ones whether they be Douglas firs, pines, redwoods, the deciduous aspens, the Japanese maples, and some oaks. They stand and wait for a human to make contact. Once contact is made and we allow ourselves – mostly our minds to slow to the patient levels of the trees we can begin the feel the peace trees exude. As I slow further I may merge my spirit with the spirit that the tree surrounds its body and we share a space together. In that space there are many non-verbal answers and somatic emotional states. One is a feeling of being grounded and connected to Earth; our shared home.
peace becomes evident and the love slows me down into a being state
As I continue to open my senses of touch, directionality, groundedness, sight and heart-centered emotion I feel embraced and accepted by my friend and friends – tree(s). Deeper – even before “the hug” there can be a singular song of a tree or a choir of song by a family of trees. The peace becomes evident and the love slows me down into a being state. I may temporarily slip out of ego into being and experience my place amongst the animals and trees in that local community of nature in which I have chosen to be a member. Ah such sweetness…
we can begin to become a co-equal member of a forest
I have made a bond with the Redwood species; and deciduous Sycamores and Maples both individually and as species. In these bonds I have asked the trees to hold spiritual or plasma energy for me. This is a technique for inner – spiritual work. Often, we receive an epiphany or a “high” when engaging in spiritual work there is an automatic tendency in us as humans to blow off the energy by “ego-talking” to others about our experiences. The use of accumulators becomes important in spiritual / inner work as a way to deposit some of our energy in a tree or group of trees. Later we can make a “withdrawal” on the “interest accrued” as long as we don’t withdraw all the energy we have “deposited” in the tree. It’s one way to stay silent about on-going inner work without blowing it off by talking with others about it. Another way to stay silent in addition to asking a tree to deposit or give energy to him/her/it is to make an agreement with oneself to pay attention to our breath instead of talking (and blowing off energy).
Its so easy to forget that trees are beings too
In asking a tree to participate in acting as an “accumulator” we can begin to become a co-equal member of a forest and /or woodland community. We become members of an ecological local community and remember our roots to help cultivate an intimate relationship with Earth on a local level. Its so easy to forget that trees are beings too and treat them as objects for use in a soulless society of use and waste that’s disconnected from the sacred.
Here is the beginning of reconnecting with the sacred inside us through a personal relationship with a tree or a community of trees in the context of a larger local community in which each member plays a part.
What a wondrous world to uncover and honor the sacred.
I am reminded of when I first cultivated a place for peace in my belly. Ridiculously enough it was when I danced with a vacuum cleaner in a house cleaning practice that grew as a front for spreading light and peace while removing chaos, disorganization and dirt.
I would ask myself:
“What is peace?” while doing aikido moves with a vacuum cleaner.
I won’t bore you with all the logical common-sense notions of peace that my recycled thoughts regurgitated into my overly crowded brain. Instead I will try to describe the feelings of peace that arose after my mind made-up the mundane answers for it. After all I was cultivating a place for peace in my belly, but what does this really mean?
I guess you could say that I was looking to find a personal meaning for peace without using words to describe it. And I was dancing with my vacuum cleaner which could be an obscure hint that my belly was merely a metaphorical place for the cultivation of peace. Before I completely lose you and go woo-woo, I was cultivating peace in my chi or 2nd chakra — the brain or center of the physical body or moving center.
Peace that doesn’t move stagnates and dies. I can’t tell you what feelings arose in me about peace in my belly / chi / brain of my physical body/ moving center because there were never any words to for these personal emotive sensations.
Years later a boss of mine said that peace is the positive flip-side of boredom. Imagine it. Imagine thousands of bored people, maybe slightly depressed who are nanoseconds away from the elation of peace. Like flipping a switch.
So, then, what is peace? But if one more person tells me that peace is the absence of war, well then, I might have to revert to sarcasm. Of course, it’s easier to describe war and conflict than it is to describe peace. War is a violent conflict where people use weapons to kill each other. Conflict is a disagreement. Peace arises from a kind of creative inactivity that is not observable from outward obvious phenomena.
Outward conflict may arise between two or more people that voice disagreement based on different perceptual stances. Conflict intensifies when the battle between “yes” and “no” is personalized, anger and rage become evident, rules may be broken, twisted, bent or narrowed to insist on an outcome favorable for an oppressor who currently holds more sway. In an intractable conflict between “yes” and “no” there is no middle ground — no peace.
This morning during a meditation while making a space within and feeling peace enter I thought of all those poor United States Senators in that impeachment trial in Washington DC. What if they had an opportunity to feel peaceful in that space of contentiousness? I decided to project myself to sit by one GOP Senator and emanate the peace that had been cultivated within me. I made an offering of peace to eight GOP Senators in total. Then I made an offer of the feelings of peace engendered in me to the entire body of Senators and others in the Senate chamber.
Could the spaciousness of peace provide relief in the midst of all that bipartisan contentiousness? When peace is allowed to enter into one’s consciousness, not by force but by choice, then options for resolution of conflict could more easily present themselves.
If you find it in your heart and feel peaceful please send your over-flowing peace consciousness as a gift to share with others in conflict. Will they accept the gift of peace and dwell in that peace a while? It’s a choice that I might make surrounded by Senators in conflict.
Ordinary waking consciousness emanates from ego and attachment. Ego – the “I” that is oneself is attached to everything. This is the way of the outer world. We forget about our “inner world” and come to believe that ego and attachment are all that is. In other words, ego, language and thought is caught up in attachment.
I’m sure you have heard or read that meditation is about quieting the mind. I can only write to the meditation that I know: Vipassanā Meditation or Insight Meditation. This kind of meditation works with the breath and helps to quiet the mind. It takes practice to quiet the mind as many who practice meditation already know.
The mind creates what is known as a stream of consciousness which includes all matter of attachments – thoughts, memories, ideas, fantasies and so on. Anyone who has daydreamed in a classroom, or in boring business meetings falls into the stream of consciousness. The stream is constantly flowing so that when we stop being present our attention falls into it and is taken away by the stream. The draw of the stream is one of attachment – a kind of addiction so common that it is not referred to as an addiction. We have accepted that attachment / addiction to thoughts, language, fantasies, identity, status and so on is all there is, so we never come to realize that all attachments are distractions that form a recycling whirlpool that eats itself. The distraction is one that leads away from peace and happiness. On a deeper level attachment is the distraction from oneness with all beings.
On my first Vipassanā Meditation retreat over 35 years ago the facilitator, Bhante aka the Venerable Dharmawara Mathahera, a 92-year-old Cambodian Buddhist monk sent us to meditate on our own. We had spent four days in group meditation.
It was a muggy and overcast day. I spread my blanket on the ground and sat. I began to notice my breath, in and out. Flies landed on my bare skin, tickling the hairs of my arms, and I laughed aloud. Mosquitoes landed on me and did not bite me. Deeper into the meditation, with my eyes closed, I felt presences near me. I opened my eyes a slit and saw a squirrel, a rabbit and a skunk sitting in a semicircle in front of me. My thought was, “this is normal.” I continued to meditate.
When it was done I felt at peace with the world.
The Current World
The world of attachment is filled with divisiveness and antagonistic rivalries; as you may have noticed. This is to be expected in the cycle of history we find ourselves within.
According to the scholar – Bidhu Dev Misra we are near the end of the Ascending Kali Yuga. It’s ends in 2025 and is followed by a 300-year transition period before the Ascending Dwapara Yuga begins (seen End Notes for more information about the Yugas).
Kali is the goddess/god of destruction – a phoenix that destroys itself to rise from the ashes. Opposite the 6,000 years of the Descending and Ascending Kali Yugas are the 6,000 years of the Satya Yugas – an age of oneness where there is no ego, no religion, no money… only peace, harmony and oneness.
Characteristic of the age of destruction is both a fear of “the end” as characterized by rabid divisive thoughts and actions as a way to obliterate the end by hanging on to a short-term power, a short-term quarterly dividend – in short, the greed and lust for power. Ego, attachment and thinking are in a whirlpool of oppositional thinking that seeks its own destruction. This might be funny except for a denial and resistance to the existential threat of the climate crisis.
The Inner World
Through Vipassanā Meditation a quieting of the mind can begin to manifest. Ego is surrendered in the moment and attachment is sometimes released in the space between an inhalation of breath and its exhalation. A regular practice of meditation can allow the ego to float and attachment’s roots to be loosened.
A wondrous aspect of the inner world is revealed as ego and attachment are released. A profound peace and simple happiness become apparent. Thought clears, consciousness expands, and time ceases to exist.
This “world” beyond ego and attachment is the beginning of the continuum of enlightenment. It lasts all too briefly as the worlds of ego, linear time and attachment come into claim the vestiges of enlightenment scantily clad through memory.
The Current World as seen from the Inner World
By freeing ourselves from time and attachment, the world of the Kali Yuga – the current world becomes evident. All thought in this epoch arises from attachment and as a result is not original thought. Attached thoughts swirl from a stream (as in the stream of consciousness) into a whirlpool (or black hole) to obliterate thought for the increasing enslavement of humankind.
There is no “we”. All are separate, divided into smaller camps of “us” and “them” living in the houses of anger, rage, hatred, envy and greed as reflected in:
statistical studies measuring a nation divided as much as in the times of the US Civil War,
science and technology as in reducing to understand, and
predatory capitalism as in dividing goods and services into smaller amounts – conquering and destroying smaller businesses in favor of the most profit, the most money and the least or no taxes.
Thought and action is divided into the dyad of good versus evil, right versus wrong and so on with no middle ground of reconciliation, governance and/or compromise.
The action of the dyad is choking itself and headed towards self-destruction characteristic of the Kali Yuga time cycle.
If we are to survive climate crisis as a species then as individuals we could choose:
Beginning the day with a 30 to 50-minute mediation.
Using the meditation as an anchor throughout the day to remind us to choose kindness, compassion and right (no-acting out) anger to right wrongs for the good of all.
Political Actions whether that be donating / volunteering time, money as a protest against excluding people from equal participation in a democratic process
Due to the enormous amounts of money contributed by billionaires and corporations to co-op the government (US) we as a people must take back our government to save it from dictatorial types and re-establish a democracy.
This can be done from a compassion stance where neutral ground can be established – once again – to govern as opposed to rule.
I awoke letting the convoluted dreams from sleep dissolve without pressing my intellect for possible meanings.
A short time later I began breakfast preparations. I felt the warm swathe of sunshine permeate my small abode – across the kitchen floor and into the bedroom. I gazed at the off-white stone tiled floor and felt a profound peace and happiness in the smallest of details.
I smiled to myself and thought / felt:
I am here.
My heart is full.
Happiness in the stillness of
A morning in sunlight.
It wasn’t an “overnight success”. It took 15 years to live, skirting a mess of miserable emotions; 6 months to jockey for position; 3 months of letting go of everything including my life in preparation for the death of my body* and 6 days of resurrection into that which continues to unfold.
During the 15 years I wasn’t such a dire mess as described above. I was floating in a boat in a becalmed ocean of slime feeding on the fleeting happiness of rarefied airs. In other words, I was an expert at compartmentalization and was kept alive on the higher aspects of my work. Intellectually its difficult to fathom how excruciating physical pain was (is) held in place by unresolved – stuck grief. Emotionally easy.
*I had to die to be reborn. This was not suicide, but it was a relinquishing of everything without hope of a solution,
I have found that turning off lights in the day time when temperatures soar over 100 degrees outside makes a room seem cooler. There is still some light that leaks in from outside so it’s not completely dark.
While there is the mundane of light bulbs radiating heat it’s not the psychological effect that I write to herein.
There’s something about the dark that’s ineffable. It’s mysterious because we can’t see so well into it. The dark of the night can be comforting when we embrace the mysteries with our hearts.
When I read The Night Country by Loren Eiseley (see end notes) I fell into his contemplative prose and was enveloped by the mysteries of his night journey. Night and darkness were never the same again.
Darkness became mystery of infinite worlds… Perhaps this is the psychology of a darkened room in the daytime and at night as well…