The Garden of Delights – 1975- 76

GardenofDelightsformerlocation
former location of Garden of Delights – courtesy of Google Earth

Garden of Delights breakfast and lunch restaurant 113 C Highland St. Worcester, MA

From 1975 to early 1976 I had one of the best part-time jobs of my life if you could even call it a job. It combined two of my favorite past-times: driving and having fun. It also revealed a few other tasks I excelled at – more on those later.

I began as a dishwasher in a lunch and dinner restaurant – the Garden of Delights on Highland Street in Worcester, Massachusetts. Inside it was all black – black walls, black ceilings, interrupted by two tropical fish tanks, spider plants with their own grow lights and placards with single cell cartoons each with their own illuminated lights and a few maps and prints. This was the work of Tinker and Princess. They were the owners of the restaurant. It was obvious that Tinker had done the interior work / décor.

Tinker was dressed in all black with long black hair and custom-made shoes that curled up at the toes with tiny bells on them. He made them, of course, along with his black vest and its many pockets. He may have bought the wide-brimmed black hat. Princess was the chef. She created the specials that changed every week. It was a vegetarian restaurant except for the tuna of the very famous open-faced tuna melts on toast.

It was a special place at a special time.  

Dish washing was not my most favorite task, actually it was my least favorite task. But everyone that worked there brought in a vinyl rock LP that was stacked about 15 records high on the spindle. We’d rock out all night long as we worked, worked, worked.

My good friend, Valerie who worked there, as a waitress, told me they were looking for a driver to pick-up food and supplies for the restaurant. Tinker and Princess did not own a car. My job was to pick up food for the week on one day and make bank deposits. I started in the spring of 1975. I drove my 1969 VW Bug which was mostly a good car for pick-up.

I went to Mitchell’s Bakery every Wednesday and shopped for the rest of the stuff on Thursdays to my recollection. At Mitchell’s I would buy 100 loaves of whole wheat bread and 50 pounds of fresh ground Mocha Java Coffee; I loved the aroma of all those coffee beans being ground into the bags. They would grind the beans as I loaded the bread in the bug. Next stop – Stop ‘n Shop for cans of White Albacore Tuna – it was the only brand of Tuna where dolphins were not attracted to the nets of the fishing boats.  On the other day I’d do everything else:

  • Off to the Greek Market for 2 to 3 pounds of Feta Cheese, jaw with the owner.
  • On the opposite side of town was a cheese wholesaler open to the public where I would buy Gouda and Muenster in large bars, no need for cutting. A woman customer remarked once: “You must have a big family?” “You have no idea,” I cracked.
  • Then to the bank for a deposit.

The cheese wholesaler stopped carrying 50-pound wheels of Aged Vermont Cheddar Cheese, so Princess or Tinker had to locate a different source. I was given an address down in the warehouse section of Worcester. I parked and started to walk towards the enormous building whose sign read: Boston Beef. I had to laugh. A Natural Foods restaurant that did not serve poultry or red meat was the address I was sent to. In my minds eye I could see Tinker and Princess laughing.

There was a buzzer at a side door. A guy with a hard-hat and a white blood-soaked coat arrived there. I gave him my name, the name of the business and the product I wanted. He had me wear a hard-hat. We walked through the place with beef hanging on hooks deep into the back of the building. He opened the door to a cold-storage locker and brought out a giant wheel of cheese. It was on account and I signed it and he gave me a receipt. Then I hiked out with him. He took the hat and away I went.

I’d go over their apartment a block away from the restaurant for food experiments that Princess would try out for the three of us – as vegetarian dinner specials. After dinner in the dining room amid the low slung and bean bags chairs surrounded by industrial sized wooden spools for tables and swing arms mounted on stands with an alligator clip at the end of each arm, four arms all together.  It was the lazy person’s way of smoking a joint. Well one of the three of us would have to get the joint and transfer it to the next clip, oh such work for “the slammed”.

Summer was great. But the winter of 75 – 76 with the snow storms and the sludge was a drag. On a Wednesday I did a small bit of driving in the city and then off to pick-up 80 gallons of organic Apple Cider and Juice in Sterling north of the city about 30 miles. It had started snowing during my morning run, it was light, but wet.

a 4-foot exact replica of Donald Duck made of solid sharp Vermont Cheddar Cheese with toothpicks holding the pieces together

When I arrived at the mill the parking lot up to the loading deck wasn’t plowed yet. I had stripped all superfluous stuff including two small sandbags from the trunk in order to fit all the cider in the Bug. There wasn’t enough weight in the from to get across the parking lot. Two guys around my age stood on the front bumpers and the drive over to the loading dock was one of ease.

It was an engineering feat getting those 80 gallons of glass bottles loaded with that sweet nectar into the car. There were 60 gallons of cider and 20 gallons of juice: 4 gallons to a box. I tried loading them with the backseat down, but it worked better with it up because I could get some boxes on the floor. Boxes in the passenger seat and one on the floor and two in the trunk with it tied down by some cord. I laughed.

Later, on a winter’s Wednesday morning I was taking a shortcut back to the G.O.D. from the bank. There had been two heavy snows earlier in the week and it was snowing lightly when I came into a very tiny traffic circle.  It was the exact same time a woman in a Mercedes entered from the right and I pumped the breaks to stop. It wasn’t enough. Our bumpers crunched. My bug was more damaged than hers. It was clearly my fault. We exchanged insurance information and phone numbers.

When I got back Princess and Tinker could see something had happened. It was around 10:30 am before the place opened. There was another guy there in a suit. I explained what had happened. Fortunately, my work for that day was done.

“What can we do,” they both asked. I didn’t know. The suit, Tom, had overheard me. He told me he had just graduated from Law School but hadn’t taken the Massachusetts Bar yet. He wondered if he could investigate the accident for me.

“Sure,” I said.

He had me draw a map of how I hit the car and the names of streets etc.

Later I negotiated with Princess and Tinker for one free meal a week, all the free coffee I could drink and to smoke pot with them in the basement after my run once in a while.

They both beamed:

“Yes. Good. Anytime,” they said.

A few weeks later Tom was waiting for me when I returned from my run. He told me that she was driving the wrong way down a one-way street, but hadn’t seen the signs: one was broken off by a plow and the other signs were covered by piles of snow.

In the meantime, I had used a heavy-duty rope to pull my bumper out. I called the woman on the phone and explained the new situation. She was beside herself. But since I had done my own “repairs” I told her there was no need for our insurance companies to get involved. Relieved and disappointed, she agreed and that was that.

Near St. Patrick’s Day ’76 Prink, Princess had shortened her name to match Tinker and they had become Prink and Tink, she had me drive her to a deli south of Clark University on Main. On the way there she told me her real name:

“And you have to promise never to tell anyone. Okay?”

“Yeah, sure. No problem.”

“And I’m thinking of going to the Culinary Institute of America in New York.”

“Oh God, the CIA,” and we both laughed.

By early spring of ’76 I had to stop working there due to faltering grades at Clark. I graduated in May of ‘76

Years later – in ’77 Tink found me and invited me and Val to their Thanksgiving Day Feast at the GOD for all employees past and current complete with a 40-pound turkey, stuffing, and all the fixings including a veggie alternative. And pies, pies, pies and a cheese cake, the same kind I used to get – the one that was so thick and sticky you had to cut it with waxed dental floss.

Tink made a 4-foot exact replica of Donald Duck made of solid sharp Vermont Cheddar Cheese with toothpicks holding the pieces together.

What a riot.

In 1986 the Gardens of Delights was gone… Nobody knew what happened. Prink and Tink had disappeared. Someone had said the owner of the building had raised the lease… but no one really knew.

Being with Trees / Finding My Soul

low angle photography of conifer trees
Photo by Ricardo Esquivel on Pexels.com

The Trees are my friends who speak in a language (not English, nor a human language) that is too slow for us fast moving humans to perceive. It’s more than likely that we have all had opportunities and may have felt the presence of trees.

reconnecting with the sacred inside us through a personal relationship with a tree

The Japanese practice of “forest bathing” an immersion in the woods or forest is a cleansing experience. Certainly, I have noticed the peace that the forest affords. I have experienced it in myself and observed the outward manifestation in others in the forest. [Amongst others there is a stream of conversation that goes on and on. The talk abrupt stops as they have detoxed enough and notice the trees and are quiet much like the quiet of  a church service.]

Upon entering the forest or woods I automatically dip into the stream of consciousness that many carry with us whether that comes in the form of an inner dialogue, music and/or visual images. For me it’s mostly visual images sometimes with dialogue or narration that is the streaming junk of my daily life. Then it stops.

Wow, there are Trees Here!

When it does stop I notice my surroundings. Peace emerges and pervades my being as I stand near a copse of trees on the path in the woods. Sometimes when I stop moving and the stream of conscious ceases I feel the presence of large boulders, tall trees, a stream or brook, maybe a small waterfall. I feel washed clean by the powers of nature.

feeling of being grounded and connected to Earth; our shared home.

There they are – these standing ones whether they be Douglas firs, pines, redwoods, the deciduous aspens, the Japanese maples, and some oaks. They stand and wait for a human to make contact. Once contact is made and we allow ourselves – mostly our minds to slow to the patient levels of the trees we can begin the feel the peace trees exude. As I slow further I may merge my spirit with the spirit that the tree surrounds its body and we share a space together. In that space there are many non-verbal answers and somatic emotional states.  One is a feeling of being grounded and connected to Earth; our shared home.

peace becomes evident and the love slows me down into a being state

As I continue to open my senses of touch, directionality, groundedness, sight and heart-centered emotion I feel embraced and accepted by my friend and friends – tree(s). Deeper – even before “the hug” there can be a singular song of a tree or a choir of song by a family of trees. The peace becomes evident and the love slows me down into a being state. I may temporarily slip out of ego into being and experience my place amongst the animals and trees in that local community of nature in which I have chosen to be a member. Ah such sweetness…

we can begin to become a co-equal member of a forest

I have made a bond with the Redwood species; and deciduous Sycamores and Maples both individually and as species. In these bonds I have asked the trees to hold spiritual or plasma energy for me. This is a technique for inner – spiritual work. Often, we receive an epiphany or a “high” when engaging in spiritual work there is an automatic tendency in us as humans to blow off the energy by “ego-talking” to others about our experiences. The use of accumulators becomes important in spiritual / inner work as a way to deposit some of our energy in a tree or group of trees. Later we can make a “withdrawal” on the “interest accrued” as long as we don’t withdraw all the energy we have “deposited” in the tree. It’s one way to stay silent about on-going inner work without blowing it off by talking with others about it. Another way to stay silent in addition to asking a tree to deposit or give energy to him/her/it is to make an agreement with oneself to pay attention to our breath instead of talking (and blowing off energy).

Its so easy to forget that trees are beings too

In asking a tree to participate in acting as an “accumulator” we can begin to become a co-equal member of a forest and /or woodland community. We become members of an ecological local community and remember our roots to help cultivate an intimate relationship with Earth on a local level. Its so easy to forget that trees are beings too and treat them as objects for use in a soulless society of use and waste that’s disconnected from the sacred.

Here is the beginning of reconnecting with the sacred inside us through a personal relationship with a tree or a community of trees in the context of a larger local community in which each member plays a part.

What a wondrous world to uncover and honor the sacred.

 

What if Peace Prevailed in the US Senate for example?

loveflameEternity

I am reminded of when I first cultivated a place for peace in my belly. Ridiculously enough it was when I danced with a vacuum cleaner in a house cleaning practice that grew as a front for spreading light and peace while removing chaos, disorganization and dirt.

I would ask myself:

“What is peace?” while doing aikido moves with a vacuum cleaner.

I won’t bore you with all the logical common-sense notions of peace that my recycled thoughts regurgitated into my overly crowded brain. Instead I will try to describe the feelings of peace that arose after my mind made-up the mundane answers for it. After all I was cultivating a place for peace in my belly, but what does this really mean?

I guess you could say that I was looking to find a personal meaning for peace without using words to describe it. And I was dancing with my vacuum cleaner which could be an obscure hint that my belly was merely a metaphorical place for the cultivation of peace. Before I completely lose you and go woo-woo, I was cultivating peace in my chi or 2nd chakra — the brain or center of the physical body or moving center.

Peace that doesn’t move stagnates and dies. I can’t tell you what feelings arose in me about peace in my belly / chi / brain of my physical body/ moving center because there were never any words to for these personal emotive sensations.

Years later a boss of mine said that peace is the positive flip-side of boredom. Imagine it. Imagine thousands of bored people, maybe slightly depressed who are nanoseconds away from the elation of peace. Like flipping a switch.

So, then, what is peace? But if one more person tells me that peace is the absence of war, well then, I might have to revert to sarcasm. Of course, it’s easier to describe war and conflict than it is to describe peace. War is a violent conflict where people use weapons to kill each other. Conflict is a disagreement. Peace arises from a kind of creative inactivity that is not observable from outward obvious phenomena.

Outward conflict may arise between two or more people that voice disagreement based on different perceptual stances. Conflict intensifies when the battle between “yes” and “no” is personalized, anger and rage become evident, rules may be broken, twisted, bent or narrowed to insist on an outcome favorable for an oppressor who currently holds more sway. In an intractable conflict between “yes” and “no” there is no middle ground — no peace.

This morning during a meditation while making a space within and feeling peace enter I thought of all those poor United States Senators in that impeachment trial in Washington DC. What if they had an opportunity to feel peaceful in that space of contentiousness? I decided to project myself to sit by one GOP Senator and emanate the peace that had been cultivated within me. I made an offering of peace to eight GOP Senators in total. Then I made an offer of the feelings of peace engendered in me to the entire body of Senators and others in the Senate chamber.

Could the spaciousness of peace provide relief in the midst of all that bipartisan contentiousness? When peace is allowed to enter into one’s consciousness, not by force but by choice, then options for resolution of conflict could more easily present themselves.

If you find it in your heart and feel peaceful please send your over-flowing peace consciousness as a gift to share with others in conflict. Will they accept the gift of peace and dwell in that peace a while? It’s a choice that I might make surrounded by Senators in conflict.

Unconditional peace — it feels like…

Meditation and Transformation

aged ancient asian buddhism
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

Ordinary waking consciousness emanates from ego and attachment. Ego – the “I” that is oneself is attached to everything. This is the way of the outer world. We forget about our “inner world” and come to believe that ego and attachment are all that is. In other words, ego, language and thought is caught up in attachment.

I’m sure you have heard or read that meditation is about quieting the mind. I can only write to the meditation that I know: Vipassanā Meditation or Insight Meditation. This kind of meditation works with the breath and helps to quiet the mind. It takes practice to quiet the mind as many who practice meditation already know.

The mind creates what is known as a stream of consciousness which includes all matter of attachments – thoughts, memories, ideas, fantasies and so on. Anyone who has daydreamed in a classroom, or in boring business meetings falls into the stream of consciousness. The stream is constantly flowing so that when we stop being present our attention falls into it and is taken away by the stream. The draw of the stream is one of attachment – a kind of addiction so common that it is not referred to as an addiction. We have accepted that attachment / addiction to thoughts, language, fantasies, identity, status and so on is all there is, so we never come to realize that all attachments are distractions that form a recycling whirlpool that eats itself. The distraction is one that leads away from peace and happiness. On a deeper level attachment is the distraction from oneness with all beings.

On my first Vipassanā Meditation retreat over 35 years ago the facilitator, Bhante aka the Venerable Dharmawara Mathahera, a 92-year-old Cambodian Buddhist monk sent us to meditate on our own. We had spent four days in group meditation.

It was a muggy and overcast day. I spread my blanket on the ground and sat. I began to notice my breath, in and out. Flies landed on my bare skin, tickling the hairs of my arms, and I laughed aloud. Mosquitoes landed on me and did not bite me. Deeper into the meditation, with my eyes closed, I felt presences near me. I opened my eyes a slit and saw a squirrel, a rabbit and a skunk sitting in a semicircle in front of me. My thought was, “this is normal.” I continued to meditate.

When it was done I felt at peace with the world.

 

The Current World

The world of attachment is filled with divisiveness and antagonistic rivalries; as you may have noticed. This is to be expected in the cycle of history we find ourselves within.

According to the scholar – Bidhu Dev Misra we are near the end of the Ascending Kali Yuga. It’s ends in 2025 and is followed by a 300-year transition period before the Ascending Dwapara Yuga begins (seen End Notes for more information about the Yugas).

Kali is the goddess/god of destruction – a phoenix that destroys itself to rise from the ashes. Opposite the 6,000 years of the Descending and Ascending Kali Yugas are the 6,000 years of the Satya Yugas – an age of oneness where there is no ego, no religion, no money… only peace, harmony and oneness.

Characteristic of the age of destruction is both a fear of “the end” as characterized by rabid divisive thoughts and actions as a way to obliterate the end by hanging on to a short-term power, a short-term quarterly dividend – in short, the greed and lust for power. Ego, attachment and thinking are in a whirlpool of oppositional thinking that seeks its own destruction.  This might be funny except for a denial and resistance to the existential threat of the climate crisis.

 

The Inner World

Through Vipassanā Meditation a quieting of the mind can begin to manifest. Ego is surrendered in the moment and attachment is sometimes released in the space between an inhalation of breath and its exhalation. A regular practice of meditation can allow the ego to float and attachment’s roots to be loosened.

A wondrous aspect of the inner world is revealed as ego and attachment are released. A profound peace and simple happiness become apparent. Thought clears, consciousness expands, and time ceases to exist.

This “world” beyond ego and attachment is the beginning of the continuum of enlightenment. It lasts all too briefly as the worlds of ego, linear time and attachment come into claim the vestiges of enlightenment scantily clad through memory.

The Current World as seen from the Inner World

By freeing ourselves from time and attachment, the world of the Kali Yuga – the current world becomes evident. All thought in this epoch arises from attachment and as a result is not original thought. Attached thoughts swirl from a stream (as in the stream of consciousness) into a whirlpool (or black hole) to obliterate thought for the increasing enslavement of humankind.

There is no “we”. All are separate, divided into smaller camps of “us” and “them” living in the houses of anger, rage, hatred, envy and greed as reflected in:

  • political camps,
  • statistical studies measuring a nation divided as much as in the times of the US Civil War,
  • science and technology as in reducing to understand, and
  • predatory capitalism as in dividing goods and services into smaller amounts – conquering and destroying smaller businesses in favor of the most profit, the most money and the least or no taxes.

Thought and action is divided into the dyad of good versus evil, right versus wrong and so on with no middle ground of reconciliation, governance and/or compromise.

The action of the dyad is choking itself and headed towards self-destruction characteristic of the Kali Yuga time cycle.

 

Possible Solutions

If we are to survive climate crisis as a species then as individuals we could choose:

  1. Beginning the day with a 30 to 50-minute mediation.
  2. Using the meditation as an anchor throughout the day to remind us to choose kindness, compassion and right (no-acting out) anger to right wrongs for the good of all.
  3. Political Actions whether that be donating / volunteering time, money as a protest against excluding people from equal participation in a democratic process
  4. Voting

 

Due to the enormous amounts of money contributed by billionaires and corporations to co-op the government (US) we as a people must take back our government to save it from dictatorial types and re-establish a democracy.

 

This can be done from a compassion stance where neutral ground can be established – once again – to govern as opposed to rule.

 

End Notes:

https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2020/01/21/the-locus-of-consciousness/

 

https://www.bibhudevmisra.com/2012/07/end-of-kali-yuga-in-2025-unraveling.html

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

presence, peace, happiness and sunshine

brown wooden kitchen cupboards

I awoke letting the convoluted dreams from sleep dissolve without pressing my intellect for possible meanings.

A short time later I began breakfast preparations. I felt the warm swathe of sunshine permeate my small abode – across the kitchen floor and into the bedroom. I gazed at the off-white stone tiled floor and felt a profound peace and happiness in the smallest of details.

I smiled to myself and thought / felt:

I am here.

My heart is full.

Peace.

Peace permeates

Happiness in the stillness of

A morning in sunlight.

 

It wasn’t an “overnight success”. It took 15 years to live, skirting a mess of miserable emotions; 6 months to jockey for position; 3 months of letting go of everything including my life in preparation for the death of my body* and 6 days of resurrection into that which continues to unfold.

During the 15 years I wasn’t such a dire mess as described above. I was floating in a boat in a becalmed ocean of slime feeding on the fleeting happiness of rarefied airs. In other words, I was an expert at compartmentalization and was kept alive on the higher aspects of my work. Intellectually its difficult to fathom how excruciating physical pain was (is) held in place by unresolved – stuck grief. Emotionally easy.

______________________________

*I had to die to be reborn. This was not suicide, but it was a relinquishing of everything without hope of a solution,

then… it arrived.

Something Simple: The Psychological Effect of Turning off Lights in a Darkened House During Daylight

Well… maybe not so simple

woman pose wearing black abaya dress

An observation:

I have found that turning off lights in the day time when temperatures soar over 100 degrees outside makes a room seem cooler. There is still some light that leaks in from outside so it’s not completely dark.

While there is the mundane of light bulbs radiating heat it’s not the psychological effect that I write to herein.

There’s something about the dark that’s ineffable. It’s mysterious because we can’t see so well into it. The dark of the night can be comforting when we embrace the mysteries with our hearts.

When I read The Night Country by Loren Eiseley (see end notes) I fell into his contemplative prose and was enveloped by the mysteries of his night journey. Night and darkness were never the same again.

Darkness became mystery of infinite worlds… Perhaps this is the psychology of a darkened room in the daytime and at night as well…

 

Notes:

The Night Country by Loren Eiseley

Loren Eiseley Books

 

 

Comments about Driving a Car, Being On-Time and Multitasking

action asia asian auto

I currently operate two businesses out of my home so my need for driving has been reduced to three to four days a week.

When I worked a 40 hour per week job about 20 miles from my house the commute time to work ranged from 45 to 50 minutes with moderate to heavy traffic on the way to work, and 20 to 30 minutes returning. I worked swing shift and a couple of graveyard shifts.

increased stress and anxiety

When I was working I practiced the art of being on-time, which is arriving 5 to 15 minutes early if possible. With the USA work ethic is a frantic obsessiveness to gain every advantage and never stop working. Such illusory notions as multitasking have been introduced to give us more time to do everything and this is: The Myth of Multitasking

multicolored abstract painting

Trying to compress more activities into a finite time can lead to maddening outcomes with increased stress and anxiety. Down-time can lead to creative leaps in our work when we appear to be doing nothing but day-dreaming perhaps.

The Peace System or cooperative automobile driving – works.

asphalt blur car city

When I was commuting to work 4 to 5 days a week using a car I purchased it gave good gas mileage. Now that I am working from home and ninety percent of my trips are short and local gas mileage has dropped (admittedly not very good planning – unforeseen health challenges forced me to retire earlier than I had intended). To work on the ecology of it I drive less. This means planning trips even short ones. I apply the same principles of arriving on time to driving to a destination like a friend’s house, the Post Office, market, or bank.

Driving is about intention followed by executing actions

Drivers, Roads, Traffic, Traffic-Lights, Freeways, Police are part of the largest Peace System in the world. Each of us gets a license to drive a car by which a certain set of rules are applicable. The Police are there as part of a safety-net to ensure that the rules are followed so the system runs as smoothly as possible. When we follow the rules, we can move from place to place safely. The Peace System or cooperative automobile driving – works.

I give myself enough time

Driving is about intention followed by executing actions. Intention/action moves can be carried out with a calm compassion, with thoughtlessness, with humor, with thanks, with rushed anger and entitlement (or wild abandonment) etc. I depart (most of the time) 10 to 15 minutes before an appointment so I can have a stress-free drive, use intention effectively and work on being patient especially with drivers who think they are control the only car on the road. If I am turning the car I try to use my turn signal at least 500 to 1,000 yards before the turn. This is about good communication (with intention).

Projecting an intention towards another driver allows me to be more aware of possible unpredictable actions they may take based on their distractability or in other words driving defensively. Also I find that keeping my speed within the limit allows me to minimize wait times at traffic stops even in heavy traffic to some degree.

person performing fire dance at night

Driving becomes pleasant when I give myself enough time to do it. When I give myself time to work and lie idle as long as I apply a modicum of awareness to what I am doing.

Thoughts?

 

Consciousness and Memory in a Quantum Reality

two multicolored slinky toys

 

Memory Inside

When science describes our brain and memory there seems to be a mechanized reductionism at work.

memory as recall

Science states that memory is stored in our brain, specifically at the synaptic transfer between neurons. When we experience something new, new synapses are formed as a part of making new memories.

What if the reverse is true?

Memory is retrieved through our brains, our body and emotions from memories in constant flux in what we have previously referred to as “the past”. Even memories in “the future” are available to us but the constraints of language and the misperceptions of time create blocks to so-called future memories.

there is no past

Could all memories, including our own be everywhere?

 

Recall Waves

Better to re-frame memory as recall.

Our attachment to the concept of memory as originating in “the past” is so strong and our automatic response to the concept of memory is rarely questioned. Past and future are illusory because recall of the past “in the past” is present as recollections of past events. There is no past. Recall of “the future” never happens because the technology of our written and spoken language dissects relationships into distinct packets of information, subject / nouns, descriptors / adjectives, actions / verbs. The English language is based on separation of objects / nouns linked by change agents / verbs. This way of organizing language is coordinated with the actions of linear space-time namely – past, present and future. The idea that future events could be recalled as memories is alien to us – it is fantasy or science-fiction because future and past are objectified and separated based on the invisible technology of language.

We are thinking of the present as a pass-through point, so it becomes just as illusory as past or future.

Since “the past” does not exist and is really a continuous wave of the present and the future doesn’t exist either because it belongs to one continuous wave of energy.

 

An Exploratory Venture into Recall of the Continuous Wave of Presenting

Our attachment to “the past” and objectifying all that we experience makes recall of past memories easy to see as events as we experience in them in the present. When we approach experiencing “the future” in the same way we experience “the past” blocks automatically appear.

Present-ing

The problem isn’t with “the past” or “the future”, its with “the present”. The present isn’t static. We are thinking of the present as a pass-through point, so it becomes just as illusory as past or future. Instead of past, present and future we are in one continuous presenting wave that includes what we have previously separated into past, future and present.

most spoken and written languages are predicated on separation

Present-ing as a continuous wave makes the past and the future irrelevant and taken one step further makes the singularity of human experience backwards and non-relevant. We think of ourselves as separate from other selves and from others in the present-ing wave. Even our human life from birth to death is experienced as separate from death or an unknown or other lives – as in past lives, future lives etc.

Its logical that many humans do not experience a daily reality based on oneness and compassion due to the perceptual filters of separation.

All human life as perceived through most spoken and written languages are predicated on separation. Other forms built on language within the civilization construct support separation such as, the patriarch epoch, ownership, monetized trade, social classes, religions, democracy, communism, fascism and capitalism to name a few. The nature of separation besides strengthening strong egos and rugged individualism are reinforced through a variety of structures within civilization as listed above. The perception of separation through the tech of language are extensions of the technology of language and its perceptual off-shoots of linear space-time. Language rewires the neocortex to perceive the interactive world as separate and inflates an egocentric position of separation creating a circular reinforcing dynamic with almost all structures within civilization. Civilization is a co-conspirator with language to reinforce the separation reality.

Stepping out of separation into a “present-ing wave” reveals the real-world expressing consciousness through the screeners of separation and through the oneness of love and compassion. Its logical that many humans do not experience a daily reality based on oneness and compassion due to the perceptual filters of separation. Instead there may be holes in the fabric of separation dynamic where a larger reality or consciousness breaks through much like sunlight appearing to breakthrough cloud cover.

We are this wider reality or greater consciousness being expressed through the perceptual filters of ego and separation. In short separation and ego are illusion and stand in the way of what we already have – happiness, fulfillment, oneness and enlightenment.

Present-ing is experienced in two modes: 1. Separation is released in the moment to experience a greater consciousness that does not make sense under the rules of separation reality; and 2. Love and compassion are experienced as a transcendent experience to the Oneness that supports separation consciousness.

 

Memory in the context of released separation

In this mode our experience is one where magic or an “ah-ha” is felt.

Writers, artists and entrepreneurs that seemingly “come up with a brilliant idea” only to find that someone else has already completed, the novel, the painting, the movie or the product already.

When I was fifteen years old I wrote a short story about a group of scientists that boarded a small submarine that was miniaturized and injected into the President of the United States to repair a valve in his heart. A week later Life Magazine published Isaac Asimov’s “Fantastic Voyage” with photographs from the film. I felt immediately angered – thinking he had robbed me of my ideas until I realized that he must have conceived of the idea long before I had thought of it.

Then where did my story originate? I concluded that his idea and my idea came from a collective consciousness.

Around the same age I had had a dream where my sister and I were in a town along the coast of Connecticut. There was a storm and flooding. I broke into the basement of a church hall that had been converted into a museum where we could have shelter from the storm.

Three weeks later we (my father, mother, sister and me) visited the church in Stonington, Connecticut on the shore by the Long Island Sound. It was a museum inside. My father asked me where the bathroom was. I gave him complicated instructions on how to get there. He told me that I knew where it was because I had been there. I said – “No, I just know.” My father didn’t believe in anything but math, science and engineering. He found the bathroom where I had said it was.

The practice of quieting the mind may lead to a feeling of peace.

In the 1990s I had an idea to make turnip, parsnip, yam and sweet potato chips after having deep-fried up a few batches. This would be a good business to get into. Three months later I was in a upscale supermarket and found a manufacturer had already made these kinds of chips. I told myself it was not a good idea to turn all my ideas into businesses because; where’s the fun in that?

Picking a shared idea or having a premonition from a dream are examples of memory in the context of released separation. They happen to all of us spontaneously from time to time.

 

Memories of the future

Memories of presenting…

Since the future is an illusion and we can begin to experience time as present-ing then memories can begin to expand into a lifetime of the present-ing experience.

recall of experiences from an on-going present-ing or a wave of time that has no beginning and no end

In meditation mindfulness is the vehicle to quieting the mind. The practice of quieting the mind may lead to a feeling of peace. A continuing practice begins to peel back the layers of our stream of consciousness whose content is one of whim and attachment. The illusion of ego and separateness begins to fall away revealing the being that resides in each of us. Love and compassion remain when the mind continues to be quieted. The layers of enlightenment touch the practitioner or stated in another way we experience enlightening, loving, peacing and compassioning.

A question

Just as we experience our fingers and choose to wave our fingers is our mind / consciousness everywhere choosing to wave the life that we find ourselves in?

 

Recall, Presenting and Reincarnation

Recall or accessing memories of past, parallel and future more aptly put recall of experiences from an on-going present-ing or a wave of time that has no beginning and no end. Recall of experiences from present-ing in a cyclical or spiral frame (with end or beginning) could originate from the whole of consciousness or a being living in a cycle or reincarnation.

If there is a being enlightenment consciousness that incarnates along a present-ing continuum to experience finite lifetimes then our smaller ego selves have the possibility of rarely feeling alone or separated from consciousness.


Present-ing – is an on-going present wave. By changing present from a static state of “the present” to an continuously renewing on-going wave of energies present-ing becomes a regenerative word. Present-ing fills birth to death. Once birth and death become meaningless by a Consciousness Being living everywhere outside of time then present-ing in a finite biological body becomes more palliative.

 

 

 

 

 

The Light, the Dark and Earth “Below”

Happy Solstice

time lapse photo of stars on night

A possible way of looking at Solstices and Equinoxes as the function of a patriarchal separation of people from planet earth to a reorientation based on the sun and light.

life was under stewardship

taurus

In the matriarchal times the beginning of the Zodiac was Taurus, the sign denoting the womb with the Fallopian tubes on top and not the bull. At the equatorial zones and in the northern latitudes the seasons of planting began after the frost towards the end of April -the beginning of spring for earth. Worship of earth as womb and creator of life was honored and built into an agrarian based culture / civilization. Though women nurtured life and men were thought to be vessels of the Goddess of an earth based deity the culture was communally oriented, nothing was owned. All was shared with the group and life was under stewardship.

honoring the Goddess

It could also have been that the Southern Hemispheres were grounded in a culture where the beginning of the zodiac was Virgo, based on spring there. Jeffrey Wolf Green, astrologer suggests that when men began realizing they contributed sperm and were not just vessels used by the Goddess they rebelled and the patriarchy was born – in reaction. Men owned property, women and children. Male children passed on the ownership and legacy of men etc.

a hierarchy took root

The focus moved away from nurturing earth, honoring the Goddess into worship of a God in the heavens thus the solstices and equinoxes, seasons divided into four quarters by amounts of light. Agriculture continued under the increasingly greater control of men and eventually science (an extension of men) but the focus was shifted from Earth to Sky and a hierarchy took root.

a sky God that meshed with the patriarchal structure of leadership

Goddess as Earth was a bountiful civilization with a nurturing structure of stewardship that maintained a mostly horizontal structure with the exception of the dimishment of the importance of the male. In the European and Tigris-Euphrates Rivers of Turkey, Syria and Iraq the overthrow of the matriarchy though violence was easy, as Attila the Hun swept across Asia – conquering. The matriarchy wasn’t prepared for the sudden change. In the Americas the changes in the indigenous population was more gradual from matriarchy to patriarchy. The patriarchal tribes retained many of the matriarchal transitions before they were albeit destroyed by the Europeans.

pure Goddess / Matriarchy roots

 The patriarchal God was a reactionary and vengeful God that came from above – a sky God that meshed with the patriarchal structure of leadership. This seemed to be a rageful reaction to the oppression by the matriarchy and the systemic misogyny based in the newer system. It wasn’t until the patriarchal God sent male saviors that retribution was supplanted by other forms of leadership though that appears to have been largely unsuccessful.

Wicca and Pagan celebrations though influenced by the patriarchy were still rooted in the matriarchy and may have tried to combine Solstice and Equinox traditions with pure Goddess / Matriarchy roots. The patriarchy sought to demonize them on many occasions, early Christians hid their celebrations by blending them with Pagan and Wicca celebrations and later demonized them via the Roman Catholic Church, for example.

Nevertheless, below in figures 1 through 4 are 3 representations of the upcoming Winter Solstice and one of the Summer Solstice:

WinterSolstice1n2

The gap between the patriarchy and the next epoch of which we are on the cusp is about a balancing and/or healing of the patriarchy with the matriarchy to help co-create an age of cooperative partnership.

Solstice3-4

Interpretations of each solstice chart will be coming very soon.

 

For more about my work visit:  Ontario’s The Kai

Slowing Down – De-Stressing

cat lying on cloth

It takes practice to set your own slower pace in a world that is hurried, stressed and frantic. Part of our collective stress can be found in driving patterns and increased volumes of traffic. (Bravo to those who don’t own cars and use public transportation).

hurry slowly

If you own a car and drive / commute to work or drive in traffic at any time of day or night there is an increasing tendency to drive faster on interstates and secondary roads. There is a tendency to run lights that are yellow and red. It could be built-in to the predatory capitalism and a me-first attitude on the roads.

 

Rush hour is no longer just an hour. Weekends and holidays exacerbate traffic and impatience to get their first. “Half an inch, half an inch,” out of a Monte Python sketch or a Jerry Seinfeld bit of inching ahead in traffic at a stoplight. This is all a part of the out-of-breath frantic rev-up for more stress and anxiety fixed by a pill.

Smile and make eye contact

Breathe, slow down, hurry slowly, and practice patience.

Allow yourself 5 to 15 minutes extra time in traveling to your destination so you are ensured of being on time without a frantic dash to the finish line. Add extra time if you are traveling with someone else or with children. Begin by practicing slower breathing in tense situations, or in heavy traffic, especially bumper-to-bumper.

In lines of any kind such as the supermarket, the post office or in picking up your coffee shift your weight from one side to the other, bend your knees slightly and practice breathing slowly. Strike up a conversation with your line-mate if it seems right. Smile and make eye contact.

background beautiful blossom calm waters

 

For more on reducing anxiety follow these links:

Frantic for the Future

A Relaxation Meditation

Home Remedy for Stiff or Sore Muscles

Home Remedy – Nighttime Relaxing Hot Toddy (without alcohol)

Home Remedy – Optimal Rest

 

Good night to all and to All a Good Night…