“I Made a Mistake, I Apologize.”

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In April of 1983 I was living at Eden Square Apartments in midtown Stockton, California. Parking was on the street. I had moved there in November of 1983.  I had moved to the Big Valley in 1982 from the east coast where I was unfamiliar with the kind of parking described below.

I parked on East Acacia – a side street. The front entrance was on El Dorado around the corner.

A guy started shouting at me and pointing at the street. At first I paid him no heed and continued to walk away.

“Hey you, Guy! You parked wrong.” He was yelling at me.

I stopped and looked at him.

       “What?”

He jabbed his arm / finger towards my car and shouted:

“You parked wrong.”

“Its how I always park,” and started to walk away.

“You see those lines painted on the street?”

“What?”

He pointed to the lines painted on the street. I looked.

“They’re there for a reason, buddy,” he was boiling mad.

The lines on the street were like a grid.

Duh, I got it.

 

 “Sorry, didn’t see it. Didn’t think to look. I’m sorry. I’ll move my car.” I got in and moved the car to in-between the lines.

 

            This guy was suddenly my best friend. Immediately his mouth dropped. He invited me to join him at Gold’s Gym- below my apartment building. I respectfully declined.

            He shook my hand and thanked me.

 

 

 

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4-magicThe duck pond on the Sonoma Plaza 🙂

 

On an early Sunday morning in February of 1983 my best friend Kent and I went to Sonoma and the Valley of the Moon.

I had moved to the Stockton area in 1982 to live and work with Bhante – the Dharmawara Mahathera and learn Vipassana Meditation in greater depth. However I rebelled against being a devotee – something he had wanted (not me) and moved out.

Hanging out at the Blackwater Café in Stockton I came to know Kent. We became good friends. He introduced me to the magic of Sonoma.

His introduction was replete with great wisdom and insight.

I am eternally grateful to him for opening the door to my home.

We left around 6 am in the dusk of a cold morning on that February. He drove his van with his dog and me across the delta towards Sonoma. He had a knack for introducing me to the magic of Sonoma and the Valley of the Moon with his mythic-poetic musings peppered into our conversations.

We missed Bill at perform with his guitar at the church. We met Bill and his wife Shirley at the First Congregational Church on West Spain Street in Sonoma at the tail end of the 7 am Service. Then Kent drove us to their cabin near the top of Moon Mountain Drive in Sonoma. We ate brunch and talked.

My third eye opened wide upon entry into the Sonoma Valley.

Kent and I took a short walk on the fire trail to the south of their house and he waxed on about castles in Europe appearing out of the fog – such as the fog in the valley.

Something quite unexpected had happened that day. I digress – that for the past 18 months I had been doing an inner exercise – a meditation in the morning to create light for the “soul’s body” and open the 3rd eye. My third eye opened wide upon entry into the Sonoma Valley.

I felt the town welcomed me, just as Mount Diablo “spoke” to me about becoming a healer. Of course the impressions didn’t come in English but I translated them into language for a better understanding. At first I explained the opening of my Third Eye by all the spiritual work that was done by others in the valley.

Many years after another answer came to me in a softer manner. It was the land herself, the configuration of the Valley of the Moon and the power center (the Plaza) of Sonoma Valley that has been a source of mystery and powerful transformation. I believe the way in which Kent introduced me to Sonoma and the Valley was replete with great wisdom and insight. I am eternally grateful to him for opening the door to my home.

Towards the end of this Field of Dreams film clip Burt Lancaster’s character Doc Graham makes a powerful statement about “home”. This is how it is for me in Sonoma.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCNp_jl5m6c

PS I give workshops/individual sessions in some of the magical places in Sonoma http://the-kai.com

 

The Solar Eclipse – some personal notes

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Coastal fog obscured what would have been a partial solar eclipse in the wine country of Northern California.

I meditated instead.

I felt a profound peace coming from how the event pulled everyone together. I felt a collective sadness.

I felt a physical realignment to Earth’s core and a reconfiguration on my 2nd chakra, birth chakra and solar plexus.

I felt peace in my heart the the burdens of sadness, although I was not identified with this sadness.  It was there and I was witness to it.

Charlottesville and the Downside of The Solar Eclipse

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The eclipse is the shadow of the moon obscuring the light of the Sun on the Earth. Shadow elements of the blockage of the Sun (in late Leo – proud heart of love) is bringing forth its opposite hate, fear and violence to be released.

The god of war – Mars is also associated with action and leadership – on the high side and anger, violence and aggression on the low side. Mars is a (male) yang planet. Mars in Leo can be pushy and dynamic and is associated with the eclipse, part of the shadow.

The impulsive/ dark side violent energy of Mars in Charlottesville was fueled by Moon in Aries wildly impulsive prone to emotional outbursts.

The shadow of fear and hatred has come to light. One of the perpetrators has lost his job. Others are under investigation for their crimes.

The Illinois State Legislators have proposed a law:

http://reverepress.com/news/illinois-senate-passes-bill-label-white-supremacists-terrorist-organization/

Covering the Bases on August Total Solar Eclipse – 2017

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INTRODUCTION

In 999 AD there was a total solar eclipse in Southern Europe. The combination of the ellipse with the calendar – the upcoming 1000 AD produced interesting effects. Many people believed the world was going to end. Farmers stopped tilling their fields. Many people gave property and “worldly possessions” to The Roman Catholic Church.

There was a famine

On New Year’s Eve 999 many huddled in churches waiting for the end. When nothing happened many demanded what they had given to the church back. The Church Fathers said no. There was a famine and the middle/business class collapsed. It took Middle Class took ten years to rebuild.

Many succumbed to a similar hysteria around the Y2K virus. A friend never recovered from going into debt in preparation for the collapse and has been looking into conspiracy theories for new collapses.

Endings and beginnings are based on the invention of language that feed ego.

Astrologers and the current eclipse are predicting big changes and transformation. There is a need in a culture based in capitalism for events and a cellular desire / fear-aversion for endings (also built into Judaeo-Christian and Islamic philosophy). Endings and beginnings are based on the invention of time and language that feed ego functions in us all. While eclipses occur four to seven times per year – both solar and lunar. Solar and lunar eclipses are approximately two weeks apart from one another.

A Solar Eclipse both total and partial are positions of the Moon in front of the Sun casting a shadow on Earth. A Lunar Eclipse is the shadow of Earth that blocks the Sun from illuminating the Moon. The symbology of eclipses or metaphors  in Solar Eclipses – unconscious or “the dark side” of personality / inner self comes to light and in Lunar Eclipses – unconscious or “the dark side” of emotions come to light – because we observe the process.

The Astrologers I have read so far regarding the eclipse event do NOT predict exact events. It’s all rather vague, claiming transformation. There are some reasons for this:

  • Modern Astrology doesn’t predict events
  • Astrological transits (planets, the Sun and Moon in relationships with one another and/or with natal – or birth charts or progressed charts of persons, entities – the USA for example) are parameters of possibility.
  • Parameters of possibility don’t predict events per se. Parameters are about limits and a way of prescribing sets of variables within a set, in a formal manner.
  • Parameters of possibility can fall High, Medium or Low probabilities
  • Parameters of possibility can be interpreted from a Transcendental Perspective, from a Conscious Perspective or an Unconscious Perspective.
  • Whether our experience falls within the parameters of possibilities depends on too many factors, but if we were to list the salient factors they might be:
  • Choice, will, and decision
  • Soul age
  • Hazard / luck
  • If an astrologer were to predict a specific “fearful” event and they proved to be correct then is a self-fulfilling prophecy dictating the process may have occurred. No person or astrologer would want this responsibility.
  • If an astrologer were to predict a specific “positive” event and it proved to be correct then others would look to this astrologer for past and future replication of this “educated guess”. And /or consider them “psychic”.
  • If an astrologer predicts a “positive” but vague and seemingly magical future event then there is usually no way to determine whether it actually happened or not from a common perspective.

BUT

According to astrological cycles the new moon / solar eclipse (August 21, 2017 at 18:30 UT, 2:30 pm EDT, 11:30 am PDT) are about new beginnings having to do with revealing the shadows of the emboldened ego /self. (Trump’s chart relates strongly to this eclipse – more later on that.)

a new world could be opening into a shared power base

Astrologically the obvious major influences are the release of shadow elements regarding authority and a revolution. This could portend a shift of power in the world – ie the USA being dethroned as the top of the heap of the Superpowers and / or a healing of that power.

Communication will be intense (as in negotiation – perhaps) – Mercury in retrograde and fraught with possible deceptions and/or lofty ideals as a one-world government etc. – Neptune (ideals / spirituality, illusions and delusions) opposite Mercury.

Regulus – a “fixed” star has been in Leo for the last 2,000 years and has recently enter Virgo. Regulus – meaning royalty and those that serve royalty (the patriarchy) has moved into Virgo – innocence and healing bounded by a spiritual community.

This looks to be a time of stand-offs that are painfully entering a new time of healing.

Trump could get a karmic kick in the butt

Looking at this as a key opening a lock: a new world could be opening into a shared power base. In other worlds the patriarchal hierarchy is gone and this new way of a community of shared power is emerging. It could be felt in how all our relationships work – assuming you don’t take the role of the parent or child and instead become a peer.

 

RON

Trump’s natal chart reflects his impulsivity and his karma. This eclipse could reveal his shadow and end up with a karmic kick in the butt.

Dealing with Anxiety – a primer

The Unhealthy World

Anxiety arises from fear and it protects us from danger.

Anxiety has become a complex problem due to many factors.

There are two types of anxieties. One is exogenous and one endogenous. Exogenous means something that is produced outside of us. In and in the way I am using this word is directing the cause of anxiety to an event in our immediate present or near future. Endogenous means causes by something within us and I surmise that this type of anxiety began in the outside world in one or many traumatic events so that it appears to become internally produced or triggered. In this case there is no identifiable cause of feeling anxious and this becomes an existential condition.

Part of what the drug industry has done in helping to treat anxiety has made the emotion an undesirable problem to be eliminated or under constant management.

Exogenous anxiety is a cause and effect relationship. I’m anxious about my day in court. The day comes – it wasn’t as bad as I thought, I feel relived and anxiety is reduced significantly. However if I have experienced clustered exogenous anxiety producing events as a child then these can easily translate into an endogenous anxiety condition.

The two basic systemic problems of coping / dealing with anxiety are as follows:

  • We live in a complex world undergoing transformations even beyond institutional control that are stressful and anxiety producing.
  • Denial that anxiety is an emotion that could be valuable and is thus thought of as an emotion to be constantly controlled or virtually eliminated.

Part of what the drug industry has done in helping to treat anxiety has made the emotion an undesirable problem to be eliminated or under constant management. It is the perfect emotion to target with a product because our attitude towards the emotion (to be gotten rid of) and a world that is a nest for increasing anxieties and thus provides continuing and increasing profits. And it is not that simple either.

The use of street or illicit drugs at a young age for self-medication (dealing with depression and anxiety) and the concurrent addiction issues along with marketed pharmaceuticals on television has engendered a culture that looks to legal drugs to squash emotional problems of anxiety and depression amongst others. And while this may be effective it reduces our ability as a culture for self-reliant behaviors and creative problem solving.

Tolerating anxiety comes from learning and experience.

What happens when a younger person uses street drugs or prescribed medications to diminish anxiety, the anxiety goes away. Emotional growth stops at the age when street drugs and/or prescription drugs are used and often abused. A drug abusing person enters into a drug-culture. Later in life when a person wants to genuinely deal with emotional and psychologically difficulties their emotional responses may be childlike or childish because of legal or illegal drug use. Cognitively they may act like adults but when beset by anxiety they become stuck children. The frustration is overwhelming and dependence on drugs legal or illegal provides instantaneous relief.

 

Beginning to Deal with Anxiety

There are two basic strategies in dealing with anxiety:

  • Tolerate it until is dissipates.
  • Deal with it directly or indirectly.

In order to be able to tolerate anxiety one has to have had a history with it. Embedded in your history are the methods used to cope with anxiety until it goes away or disappears into the subconscious. Tolerating anxiety comes from learning and experience. Even part of tolerating anxiety becomes a part of dealing directly or indirectly with it.

Part of dealing with anxiety directly is being present, centered and grounded in our bodies.

In dealing indirectly with anxiety comes the use of distractions. Some of the distractions may be healthy and some unhealthy. If you are depressed and you begin using methamphetamines to lift your mood, you will get an instantaneous lift from depression along with feelings of grandiosity and anxiety / excitement and this will be temporary. If you use marijuana to reduce anxiety you may become insular, depressed and /or paranoid if used to excess. Watching television to excess can make a healthy distraction unhealthy serve to isolate the individual etc.

Some distractions can also be a direct strategy in lowering anxiety. Taking a walk in nature or a run is one way to burn and / create energy to lower anxiety. It distracts the mind from the feeling and allows the body to detox anxiety on a cellular level.

Part of dealing with anxiety directly is being present, centered and grounded in our bodies. In most modern cultures citizens don’t live in the body, we live in our minds (this also cold be called a preoccupation with thoughts to the exclusion of emotions and the sensory phenomena of the body). We know we have a physical body but we may be unaware of the body in a sensorial manner. Only un-mechanized agrarian cultures may remain in their bodies.

Immediate anxiety is an emotion that serves us when we are afraid and that fear is immediate. Anxiety serves to heighten awareness in this instance of immediacy. If a person is anxious about crossing the street because drivers are going through crosswalks illegally, anxiety and fear protect us from being hit by careless motorists. This is anxiety is exogenous.

Endogenous anxiety may be a feeling of dread upon awakening that develops into a full-blown anxiety attack. When that happens medications may or may not help. Practicing being aware of our body and our breath prior to a panic attack or increased unmanageable anxiety can assist in helping to lower anxious states if one remembers to employ the techniques. Dealing directly with anxiety can take on a number of strategies including:

  • Breath work
  • Systematized processes of reducing tension in various body parts allowing the person to be present with a body in a state of continuing relaxation.
  • a hot bath or shower
  • Receiving a massage
  • Drinking a relaxing non-caffeinated beverage
  • Listening to soothing (floatie-driftie) music
  • Reading
  • Sitting under a tree
  • Being with Redwood trees
  • Watching the waves at a beach
  • Soaking one’s feet in a foot bath
  • Centering and grounding
  • Hiking on a trail in nature
  • Running / Jogging
  • Swimming
  • Meditating

 

Besides using pharmaceutical anti-anxieties there are a number of natural alternatives. The supplement GABA or Gamma-Aminobutyric Acid is a neurotransmitter that has a number of benefits including lowering anxiety and … http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-and-supplements/gaba-uses-and-risks

 

And Acontium Napellus 30 c – a homeopathic formula for anxiety

 

 

Recent Violence with Astrological Correlatives

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London, Washington, DC, San Francisco, CA

INTERPRETATION:

Revolution and unpredictability blended with warlike / warrior energy fueled by an intense authoritarian backdrop with an eye towards a bold and perhaps narcissistic future.

Combine this with disembodied emotions in service to a grandiose indecisive expansiveness and connected to trying to hold everything together by doing the impossible.

Planets and Aspects:

Uranus and Eris TRINE Saturn (in retrograde) on one side and TRINE North Node on the other (Saturn in retrograde and North Node TRINE)

Sun TRINE Moon TRINE Jupiter TRINE Sun

Two inverted Grand Trines one in Air and one in Fire – not quite a Star of David but close.

 

 

Light in Blood – The Light imbues – All

(NOTE: Some of the material was previously posted from December 2016 see link below)

In the summer of 1968 I was with my family on Cape Cod near the Nauset Lighthouse.  One day I walked five miles up the coast to sand dunes.  It was there I had a peak experience of everyone on the planet connected by love and light.

I was “seeing” Earth from space where all was connected by light (and love). I felt oneness with all ~ ecstasy!

In 1984 I was in a leadership training course. Our group was team building on a Ropes Course near Woodland, California. One of our teammates was up in the trees preparing to jump onto a wobbly platform, supported in a safety harness by two burly fellows on the ground and two support people in the trees. Our support consisted of us yelling like rabid cheerleaders at her. It made no sense to me so I projected the supportiveness of my heart energy into the trees and towards her.

Something happened that I hadn’t expected.

I saw light coursing through the trunks and branches of the trees. Looking at the light streaming so quickly through the trees was intense.

I looked down. I looked at the ground and then at the bare skin on my left arm.

I saw inside my arm. Where blood was pumping through the arteries and veins I saw light pulsing.  Light from a near by leafy bush (the leaves were tender and sweet to look at) extended a cloudy plasmic field of light around my arm as if to comfort me.

At that time it was too intense for me to process it and I closed my eyes and prayed for normalcy.  When I opened by eyes moments later I saw what I had expected to see – all was normal and reassuring.

https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2016/12/11/we-are-the-matrix-and-the-wider-consciousness/

Life beyond Death

timeEssenceFlameEternalFullNewMoon

From all my encounters of death, stories of near-death and following others passage to death and beyond here is a composite:

When the physical body ceases the core or essence of light that passes from the crown to the root chakra is released and unites with our light body, the first frequency of energy in our Electromagnetic field and creates the tunnel of light.  When that tunnel ceases sometimes we see our previously passed relatives and friends their to greet us (this is not always the case).  We are still within the outer reaches of our auric field so we may be encountering our living memories of them recreated to help us pass. Or they may be co-created by us and them to welcome us into a new realm of consciousness.

Then we are in a line in an enormous building like a train station.  We meet a committee that asks us two basic questions:

Did you love?

Were you loved by others?

There are no wrong answers to these questions. Then you move away from the line and await you teacher.  But since there is no time or space what may often occur is a period where the person relives a favorite part of their lives or a fantasy of what they may have wanted but didn’t get and they do so in a their favorite time with a healthy body. This is also a time where they “visit” loved ones on the earth plain in the form of dreams and visions or a feeling of that person.

After that they meet with their teacher and review their lives from the library known as the Akashic Records – a holographic interactive record of what you have done and what would have happened if you had made a different choice.

The soul’s body is not complete. When our physical bodies die light from our light bodies is deposited into the soul’s body. When the soul’s body is completely coated with light it is no longer necessary to return to the earth plain. The individual may return as a Bodhisattva -great old soul of transcendental enlightenment love and compassion, or become a teacher for others.  Those that choose to return do so out of love and may be the only ones that choose their parents.

When all the work is done the hunger to make more light (love) is paramount.  The individual is pulled into conception at a certain time and anchored to a cell at the point of conception.

This is conception trauma worse than birth trauma because consciousness was free to be everywhere without attachment and at conception attachment begins.  From Freedom to attachment…

 

[NOTE – since there is no time the order of most what happens may not be necessarily accurate.]

Remembering Bhante

 

Bhante93Photo taken outside his rented house in Lathrop, CA in June of 1982

I came to California – arriving on Memorial Day Weekend 1982 – to study with Bhante or the Dharmawara Mathahera. In some ways I was ready to work with him – but in most ways I rebelled. A year later I moved out. Bhante gave me his shakti (spiritual energy from the guru) upon leaving and I used this to develop myself on my own spiritual path. Bhante and I remained friends. The photograph you see here was take when he was 93.  I saw him shortly after his 100th birthday (a second photo not shown here) and then again at 101 when he was living in Merced by the Merced River. I last saw Bhante when he turned 109 about a year before his death when he spoke in both English and lapsing into Cambodian in mid-sentence with a Monk to interpret.

About six months after his death I had this dream – one of those very real dream-time dreams –

I was at a small hut / temple in monsoon season in the midst of a rice paddy. It was night. The temple was on stilts to avoid being flooded. The Dali Lama was there.  I was bowing – and then on my knees kissing the hem of his garment.

“Get up, Frank,” The Dali Lama said laughing. “You’re one of us.”

I stood dazed and slightly disoriented:

“I am?”

“Oh yes.  Besides I am here as a bridge to open a way for this man…”

The Dali Lama pulled back a heavy drape.  There was smiling face with bright orange light all around. It was Bhante.

“How come you haven’t come to visit me before now?”

“Well, Bhante, I hate to tell you this, but you’re dead.”

“Do I look dead to you?”

“Oops…”

The dead are the death of bodies. Spirit lives on.

Bhante is with me and helps me in my work on an on-going basis.