No fooling – The Best Career / Avocation Ever

Purpledaywave

In the beginning…

Ever since I was very young I saw my mission to help relieve suffering in the world. I wanted to be a therapist and work to relieve suffering one person at a time. I studied Psychology in college and received a BA.

I began as a counselor.

In 1990 I received a calling, a mandate from God.

One night before retiring I asked God what I was supposed to do with my life. In the morning I had a waking experience that lead me to a woman that was thinking of killing herself. I listened with acceptance and did not offer advice. I was about to give her the names of therapists and groups to which she replied:

“The universe put you out there to hear my call and that’s all I needed.”

She chose to live and is alive today.

 

Further along…

As a counselor and later as a healer I have encountered peoples’ many personal realities. As a counselor in alternative mental health facilities for over 20 years I learned to listen deeply to others problems.

In the course of that work I began to let go of judgment.

When I felt their helpless I allowed myself to feel helpless with them without necessarily saying anything. Sometimes that appeared to have helped them.

Initiation…

All my life I have had bizarre experiences that have been “out-of-this-world”. I never spoke of them for fear of being condemned and shamed as “crazy” or “weird”.

landscape nature sky person
Gateway into Wonder

When I moved to California in 1982 I felt that the land and the mountains accepted me and that I had arrived home. The east-coast Connecticut Yankee critic in me was very harsh regarding the “foo-foo” impressions and thoughts running through my consciousness at that time. I continued to engage in inner “spiritual” work and observed this new consciousness within me.

In 1984 was a bizarre time for me. I saw light running like blood through trees. I had x-ray vision into my left arm where there was blood pumping there was light. A nearby plant extended its light over that very arm. I decided I was crazy – I closed my eyes and prayed for normalcy. When I opened my eyes, everything returned to normal. For more follow the link: Connection to Nature via the Heart

A couple of months later I moved a pool skimmer that was caught-up on a wave-gutter of a backyard in-ground swimming pool without touching it – for more follow the link: Gateway into the Light

I saw a white-light come from friend’s heart to my heart about 20 feet away. I felt love and the warmth of friendship.

Not normal experiences.

Sacred privilege…

As it has always been with my work as a crisis and half-way house counselor the information shared remains confidential so it is with the many clients I have seen in my healing practice.

loveflameEternity-copy2

Clients have come for a wide array of problems ranging from a concern over future events, physical / disease problems, opening to other worlds and many more. The intimacy I share with people is very sacred to me and I feel honored and blessed to be trusted so. I have found that there is something in me that always has transcended the Connecticut Yankee skeptic and critic inside to completely accept, honor and embrace a person’s reality with kindness and compassion. This has been a great blessing.

Each person brings the gift of their dilemma and with that a teaching for me. This completes a cycle of assisting them to solve a problem or problems while receiving a teaching. The cycle of giving and receiving is completed within each session that in-turn creates many blessings for me and the world at large.

Continually letting acceptance flow from me has taught me to embrace the shadow within, and to apply love and support to the parts of myself that I dislike and fear. The cycle of acceptance is a grace from a higher place where we all long to dwell.

When I complete a session, I feel vulnerable and in a trance of higher vibrational energies. The acceptance spills out imbued with love and compassion to include others throughout the world in a new kind of inclusiveness.

The feelings evoked are indescribably joyous.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Learning and Transformation Part 1 of 4

planet earth

 

Introduction to Learning and Transformation

Learning is the foundation for peak cognitive processing, interpreting modes of perception and whets the appetite for knowledge. Knowledge is the foundation for understanding and lays the groundwork for transformation through the four sources. The four sources [1] are:

  • Learning
  • Effective Struggle
  • Surrender / sacrifice
  • Help

 

Understanding the function, process and structures of thought is a beginning to perceiving the place of cognition in a quest for knowledge. Understanding and developing cognition is a good first step in exploring consciousness on all levels. Thought and cognition lay the groundwork for all learning.

Let us start where we are.

loveflameEternity

 

The Function and Process of Thought in Learning

PREREQUISITES OF CURRENT HUMAN THOUGHT PATTERNS:

Without a verbal language thought may not exist or exist in a way vastly different than we can currently comprehend. Written language assists in associative memory and an imaginative re-construction of “past” memories. When memories fall outside immediate personal experiences it is referred to as history. Belief often springs from the recording of mutual so-called “past” experiences or histories. All of human thought in our current stage of development is linked associatively. Associative thought is a binary linking of one thought with another. The legacy of associative thought is predicated on memory, without which identity is severely disabled and may even be obliterated. As you might surmise memory and time are linked within the context of an unfolding present moment. Within the context of associative thought the Western Mind presents two different sets of logic: deductive and inductive. A sense that is not connected to a specific biological function that is necessary for comprehension and memory is attention. Vision for example is connected to the eye and interpreted in our neo-cortex. Attention and memory cannot exist without the other. Nevertheless attention is a key process that aids in thinking, but there is no “Attention” organ that acts as an intermediary (like the eye) to the neo-cortex. Attention utilizes many perceptual inputs – from eyes, ears etc. and are organized as a continuum of unfolding memories.

[Note – the “past” doesn’t exist in the “past” it only exists as memories in the present. The “past” is a construct of language and time, which are inventions to manage life efficiently.]

Within the context of associative thinking is deductive and inductive logic or reasoning. Deductive logic follows from a premise seeking truth. A statement can be logical but not true:

  • The police wear dark blue clothing.
  • That woman is wearing dark blue clothing.
  • Therefore that woman is a policewoman.

The logic is valid but the premise is not specific enough to illicit truth therefore the argument is unsound.

  • Doctors at ERs wear white lab coats, carry stethoscopes and talk to a patients about  medical diagnoses.
  • That woman in the ER wearing a white lab coat with a stethoscope is talking with a patient about a medical diagnosis.
  • Therefore that woman is a doctor.

The logic is valid the premise is specific enough to illicit truth therefore the argument is sound.

Traditionally inductive logic observes data within a field and draws conclusions based on that data. In a revised definition of inductive logic the results may be proved as false based on some premises. Results of inductive logic are probable and are thought of as “strong” or “weak”. If they are ‘strong” they are either cogent or uncogent. If they are weak they are uncogent.

LEARNING

“Learn for the sake of learning!”

A teacher of mind was fond of saying.

In other words:

Learning is its own reward.

When learning arises from an on-going thirst to know and renew, then the process of continuous learning becomes an aim belonging to infinity. Aims are goals that can be repeated endlessly without being completely fulfilled and are inherent rewards. A goal has a beginning, middle and end. Goals belong to a finite world and could be about learning a skill where instruction is primary for example. Goals under the rubric of learning are not about “knowing” or connecting with people of knowledge but are about learning with a small “l” often learning by rote. Learning with an aim in the process of eternity in the moment is a creative leap that is self-renewing. When goals are connected to aims they help support continuous learning. Infinity learning is “learning for the sake of learning”. Learning is fueled by play and curiosity, which aid in the work.

sky space telescope universe

Both finite and infinite learning are necessary for navigating our world. For the purposes of this exposition I am excluding most finite and infinite learning that does not pertain to transformation processes.

Infinite learning has many qualities that originate with childhood pre-language skills. Children when brought into a room without toys begin to play reflecting the facile and developing application of curiosity and invention. Below are some of the qualities of infinite learning:

  • Curiosity
  • Exploration
  • Wonder
  • Beginner’s Mind
  • Questioning
  • Answers that lead to more questions

When infinite learning is applied to truth seeking or a quest for truth a certain kind of knowledge is sought. In the past when a seeker read a book by a person of knowledge they would seek out the author to study with him or her, as in the time honored tradition of student-teacher. In our current time this is rarely true because of the volume of books published and the self-proclamation of the author as an expert. An expert may seem like a person of knowledge but if they are promoting it, it is usually not the case. A teacher can only teach a student when the student enters the relationship with “beginner’s mind”. If a student has too much information or has a bravado that purports to have more or as much knowledge as the teacher then the relationship won’t work. Students and teachers must have a “good fit”.

Here are some guidelines to learning when in search of truth:

  1. A good first step in reading a book that speaks to “knowing” is to test this knowing on one’s own experience. Do you trust the source of the knowing? If so then the knowing may be accepted or temporary accepted until more evidence is gathered. Can you verify it? If you cannot, use your intuition to choose whether to discard it or put it aside until more information or experience is gathered.
  1. There is no final or permanent knowing. All knowing is subject to change based on an array of variables including changes in your perspective.
  1. Cross-reference what you have learned in two ways: 1. Compare information within the same system or the same “teaching” with one another; and 2. Use your intuition along with your common sense to verify the information or bit of knowledge that you’re examining.
  1. Cultivate and practice a compassionate and neutral witness within without indulging in “likes’ or “dislikes”. Work to avoid theorizing. Theorizing takes you out of the present into worlds of imaginative speculation, illusion and fantasy.
  1. Begin to utilize your intuition with you rational mind. Besides cross-referencing, intuition can go straight to a truth without “rational steps”. Later as you exercise the intuitive muscle you may open to a deeper method of exploration of utilizing somatic or “body” knowing.
  1. Use the action questions of “how” and “what”.

5.1 – Banish “why” questions from your vocabulary. Why questions are about ultimate answers.  “Why” questions linger in a transcendental higher consciousness state which cannot be accessed at the beginning or middle of the journey towards truth. Why questions are intellectual traps that keep us cycling in a “cognitive only” understanding, which is ultimately limited due to its continuous circular focus. Avoid re-wording “why” questions into “how” questions.

5.2 – “How” questions and “What” questions are inexorably linked. Knowing “how” could result in endlessly doing something without purpose unless you know “what” you are doing.

5.3 – “How” questions belong to the practical and are instructional. “What” questions initially belongs to the theoretical and meaning. If I know how to do something and what purpose I am doing it there is a completion process thus closing a loop.

  1. Growing in knowledge is never completed. Even if you cannot grasp where a fragment of specific or partial knowledge belongs in a bigger picture doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to expand yourself to meet its challenge. Beware of theorizing about partial knowledge – this can lead to imaginative fantasy and illusory beliefs.
  1. Sharing what you have learned with others is valuable because it grows with interpersonal interactions. Teaching what you have learned when done from “beginner’s mind” exponentially increases new learning in both teacher and student. [2]

ATTENTION

The Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines attention:

1.
a : the act or state of applying the mind to something Our attention was on the game. You should pay attention to what she says.

b : a condition of readiness for such attention involving especially a selective narrowing or focusing of consciousness and receptivity. Students, do I have your attention?        

2.
: observation, notice; especially : consideration with a view to action, a problem requiring prompt attention

 Attention is an action of the mind, the will, of short sets of time linked by memory and strung together along the lines of binary association. When our attention is said to wander does this not break the bonds of a focusing of consciousness on a topic or line of reasoning through tangential and/or straying thoughts? When attention becomes focused we can follow the rigors of a logical deductive discourse or gather evidence to make an on-going argument with inductive reasoning to make a strong cogent conclusion.

Modern culture and primary education does little to support the cultivation and the skill of focusing attention. Understanding attention is a building block towards free thinking, superior reasoning, mastery and higher consciousness. Elementary through secondary education the word “attention” connotes a harsh disciplinary action or punishment delivered by teachers to students. Modern culture through the tech of smart phones, tablets, laptops, chats, social media and internet searches contributes to shattering attention spans in order to condition students into consumers under Predatory Capitalistic models of behavior. A vicious cycle occurs for developing attention spans into smaller diffuse focused packets and thus destroying opportunities for critical thinking, free thought and creativity.

Building attention is not an easy task even under the best of circumstances. Consumer (or predatory) capitalism is about dividing and pulling attention with lures of immediate gratification whether that be the allure of sexuality, sensual imagery, solving puzzles and mysteries, or the greed to know more. The Internet as playground is a good example of attention reducing stimuli to manipulate and shorten attention along the paths of tangential thinking. This kind of conditioning is designed to hook the user / viewer into buying stuff. Maybe the reason you started an Internet search is lost by the time you’ve allowed your attention to dissolve into whims pulled by desire down the rabbit hole.

When I was in college my housemate gave me a book to read that she thought would be exciting for me. It wasn’t. The writer made it nearly impossible to read the book – very loosely – a science fiction novel, but it was more an allegory than anything else. He wrote paragraphs in long run-on sentences. My fascination with the book was supposed to whet my appetite to go to group meetings of this “cultish” group. It became clear that she wasn’t going to leave me in peace until I went to her group where I could then tell her I wasn’t interested.

Of course as you might have guessed I became interested. I had to wade through prejudices I had about the “spiritual”. I was invited to listen as this book I had previously tried to read was read aloud. I was called to read some aloud too. It tended to confirm my suspicions that the people there seemed insane. When I thought the group was winding down there was one more part of the session that changed my mind about the meetings.

Later I discovered that reading these paragraphs long run-on sentences that strained my comprehension of the material at the very least stretched the capacity of my attention and increased my ability to concentrate. The book was written by G. I. Gurdjieff and was called “Beelzebub’s Tales to His Grandson”.

I learned how to focus and shift attention. I read many books on spiritualism, Sufis, and the Gurdjieff Work. I learned through experiences and through books that attention was the first building block to higher consciousness. Although there is no such thing as multitasking it is possible to shift attention rapidly from one focus to another. The rapid shifting of attention gives the illusion to the person that they are multitasking when they are not engaged in doing something that is impossible. This harks back to binary – associative thinking.

All of us are trained to reason and rely on mind or cognitive activities to the exclusion of emotive and somatic processes. We know (cognitively) that we have emotions and that we have a physical body but we objectively identify them intellectually rather than acknowledge and explore these emotive and somatic sensations. The ego / cognitive self believes that it exists in a certain way so that it obscures emotional and somatic elements that it doesn’t want to acknowledge so that illusions can be created to view so-called reality. The ego engages in deductive logic looking for what it believes itself to be both positive (to grandiosity for example) and negative (to fears and depressive emotions) states. Beliefs that are personal, generational, cultural, genetic, and species oriented float in an unconscious realm where ego seeks to find truth. The truth that is discovered is transitory and impermanent. Ego must continue a life-long search that becomes fruitless. Ego proves what it believes based on fears, prejudices, biases, and so on.

Attention is the key to finding a place in our self that may become a semi-permanent steward in a continuing quest for learning, effective struggle, help and surrender/sacrifice. The Steward is close to the core of our being and helps ego find an enduring peace and a compassionate neutrality instead of the temporary gratification that is never sufficient.

The use of attention is essential to learning, effective struggle, help, and surrender/sacrifice of which memory is the binding force. Memory is a content and process oriented sensation. The content of memories are obvious and basic to identity: “I remember my name.” “I remember who I am based on…” The process of memory is time, which has been conveniently defined and invented as linear: past, present and future.

Notes

  1. Transformation by J.G Bennett p. 27-60, published by The Claymont Society for Continuous Education copyright 1978.
  2. Transformation by J.G Bennett p. 32-33, published by The Claymont Society for Continuous Education copyright 1978.

 

  1. for further reading: https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2016/01/04/fields-of-perception-belief-and-attention/

 

  1. for further reading: https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2016/12/11/we-are-the-matrix-and-the-wider-consciousness/

 

  1. for further reading: https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2016/12/01/a-primer-autogenic-training/

 

 

 

 

Slowing Down – De-Stressing

cat lying on cloth

It takes practice to set your own slower pace in a world that is hurried, stressed and frantic. Part of our collective stress can be found in driving patterns and increased volumes of traffic. (Bravo to those who don’t own cars and use public transportation).

hurry slowly

If you own a car and drive / commute to work or drive in traffic at any time of day or night there is an increasing tendency to drive faster on interstates and secondary roads. There is a tendency to run lights that are yellow and red. It could be built-in to the predatory capitalism and a me-first attitude on the roads.

 

Rush hour is no longer just an hour. Weekends and holidays exacerbate traffic and impatience to get their first. “Half an inch, half an inch,” out of a Monte Python sketch or a Jerry Seinfeld bit of inching ahead in traffic at a stoplight. This is all a part of the out-of-breath frantic rev-up for more stress and anxiety fixed by a pill.

Smile and make eye contact

Breathe, slow down, hurry slowly, and practice patience.

Allow yourself 5 to 15 minutes extra time in traveling to your destination so you are ensured of being on time without a frantic dash to the finish line. Add extra time if you are traveling with someone else or with children. Begin by practicing slower breathing in tense situations, or in heavy traffic, especially bumper-to-bumper.

In lines of any kind such as the supermarket, the post office or in picking up your coffee shift your weight from one side to the other, bend your knees slightly and practice breathing slowly. Strike up a conversation with your line-mate if it seems right. Smile and make eye contact.

background beautiful blossom calm waters

 

For more on reducing anxiety follow these links:

Frantic for the Future

A Relaxation Meditation

Home Remedy for Stiff or Sore Muscles

Home Remedy – Nighttime Relaxing Hot Toddy (without alcohol)

Home Remedy – Optimal Rest

 

Good night to all and to All a Good Night…

Rituals for Prosperity – Full Moon/New Moon

FullNewMoon

Full Moon – New Moon Manifestation Ritual

INTRODUCTION

If you’ve been working on a goal that doesn’t seem to be manifesting you may need this kind of help. Rituals are meant to augment what we are already doing on a practical level to fulfill our goals. This ritual by itself is not a magic bullet for success. It is here because it may help you that extra amount towards what you seek. Any ritual may or may not work and is not a guarantee for success.

Emotional receptivity is a precursor to a new way to manifest what we wish to happen. In the new world that began in 1992 (paradigm shift) – a world where every being is in relationship with all others, manifestation takes on a whole new meaning. The motto of this new way is: “Energy first, Manifestation second as aligned with Higher Self and Community at large.” That being said, working with the emotional receptivity of the lunar cycle is the next step. The Full Moon is a way to charge an object with its receiving power. When the papers are charged under the light of the Full Moon a way is made to give birth in the dark of the new moon.

Full Moons are always the opposite of the Sun sign. This ritual is most powerful when your Sun or Moon is in the sign of the current Full Moon or its opposite. Full Moons are doubled in power during a lunar eclipse.

However the following ritual can be beginning with any Full Moon.

THE RITUAL

WHAT TO DO WHEN THE MOON IS FULL:

Place a new, blank sheet of paper under the light of the Full Moon [outside, in a window, on your dashboard] you’ll be using on the next New Moon. If a Full Moon occurs at dawn for instance you can put your papers out the night before or the night after. Don’t worry if there’s cloud cover under the Full Moon – the luminosity of the Full Moon will still reach the paper. As in all things receptive it is not an exact science, more like an art. So you’ll need to experiment to see which works best for you. IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST TIME WITH THE RITUAL – After having left the paper out at night bring it in and dry out if need be and put it in a safe place or on your altar. You will need to take it out in approximately two weeks at the New Moon. If you park your car outside at night you could put your paper on your dashboard for “catching moonlight”.

ON GOING – At each Full Moon after you have written your wishes on the last New Moon you need to sit and see which came to pass and which did not. If a wish did not come to pass – was that wish in alignment with your Highest Good? Does it need editing – re-writing? Or does it need to be put aside or discarded?

WHAT TO DO IF THE MOON IS NEW:

Take the blank sheet of paper that you put under the light of the Full Moon from and write down your wishes from 1 to 13. You may only have to wait until the next Full Moon if you align yourself with your wishes. Write the wishes during the night of the new moon (with 24 hours of the beginning of the New Moon) when birth of a new cycle is imminent.

Full Moon in December (2018) is on the 22nd at 9:49 am

Full and New Moons of 2019


For more about my work visit:  Ontario’s The Kai

I grew up inside a Terrorist Regime – my family

 

CypressGrove5x

The Road Out via Compassion

 

I grew up inside a Terrorist Regime: in my family of origin where my father was the dictator and his word was law.

When I was a pre-teen he would shout me down into submission when he disagreed with something I said and end with telling me I was being illogical.

This was worse than death, torture of my dog.

He would continue to castigate my mother by telling her she was “irrational”. More often than not she was intuitive and non-rational

Around that time we adopted a stray dog: Peewee. He went everywhere with me – on my walks in the woods and to the reservoir. We never tied him up when we weren’t home. He ran with a pack of dogs that ate sheep. The sheep owner told us we would have to tie him up. We did for a while and then not having the heart to keep him tied up we let him go and he ate sheep again. My father was to take him to the vet to be put down. At dinner that night my father said:

I took Peewee to Yale to be experimented on. 

My head sank. This was worse than death, torture of my dog. I was so sad and down.

I thought you liked science – my father said.

 Not anymore – I said starting to get angry.

But I couldn’t show my anger otherwise I’d get in-trouble so I stuffed it.

After dinner beginning in my early teens we played Ping-Pong every night after dinner. He’d use psychological tactics on me to goad me to become angry, throw me off balance so he could win. One night, I thought – this is supposed to be fun. I decided not to get angry and started winning games. Once that happened he stopped playing and admitted that I had been a better player than he was and that by using psychological tactics he knew he could win.

he would bait others into Republican ideological arguments and then shout them down when they didn’t agree with them

When I was a teenager my father would bait me into arguments that I was emotionally invested in and then use his premise to make me feel wrong and confused. I’d fall for his debate tactics every time. When I was in my twenties I began to disagree with his premises and all “debate” ended.

My mom came to me and asked: “What am should I do about your father?”

 “What do you mean?”

“Well you know how he is.”

My mother’s friends never came over anymore because he would bait others into Republican ideological arguments and then shout them down when they didn’t agree with them.

            “You could see a therapist or minster,” I said.

            “I couldn’t do that,” she replied.

            “You could get a divorce,” I said.

           “Oh no, I couldn’t do that,” she replied.

            “Well, I don’t know what else to tell you,” I said.

My sister and I would spend all daylight hours outside of the house away from my mother and father and that I supposed was normal. We lived surrounded by bucolic regions of farms, fields and woods. My father would use his booming voice to call us for dinner while we were at least a mile away. He had had a lot of practice bellowing.

He told me once that he promised never to hit us like his father had done to his mother, him and his two sisters. But he broke his promise a few times. However he made up for actually physical violence by terrorizing us with verbal and non-verbal threats.

He often accused and never apologized even when he made a mistake.

He oscillated between sometimes being a looming or threatening boss to be a playful child albeit isolating. He was jealous of my mother having any recognition and acted passive-aggressively to quell her recognition: My mother would play the piano and we would sing folk songs and Christmas Carols after dinner. My mom also painted some. My father decided he could paint too. He painted some squares and a triangle on a canvas and put a mahogany frame around it. He hung it over the piano. When this happened I felt a profound shame and the childish jealousy of my father. My mother’s only visible protest was never to play the piano again. We all knew and my father had won his petty little game.

One time my sister and I – always the rivals often competing for my father’s attention were having a blast; bickering. It was a bit like the Monte Python sketch: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uLlv_aZjHXc

Our father yelled from the other room to “Stop it,” in his booming voice. We furtively glanced at each other snickering under our breaths and then began bickering again:

“Yes it is,” I fired out.

“No it isn’t,” my sister came back.

And on we went…

Our father appeared in the door of the kitchen his face red with rage, fists clenched he spewed in a vitriolic manner:

You kids cease and desist this instant!

 I thought blood would spurt from a vein in his forehead. He glared at us full of fury and rage. I had to bite my tongue so as not to speak or laugh. Many years later my sister told me she was so terrified that she had wet herself.

In my arguments to my father about the Vietnam war – I returned from college and told him I was against the war: he punched me across the face with a 1-2 punch and then in the stomach. He opened the front door of the house and threw me into the bushes and said:

Don’t you ever set foot in this house, again.

I was shaking and crying. A moment later he came out and invited me back inside saying:

I guess I didn’t brainwash you good enough.

 I knew my mother had stood up for me in that moment.

I learned to bring emotion into our debate and was able to stop many debates cold such as: The Vietnam war is wrong because killing for any reason is wrong and that’s how I feel.

my father was extremely obnoxious … after drinking in the afternoon

Later when I was going through a very rough time and we were in family therapy without my sister who was in college out west my father agreed to be nice to me. For about a year and a half he was nice. And then he changed back.

When I asked him about the change he said: “I can see that you were okay so I decided to be myself again.”

I offered to do some hands-on healing.

My father would have an occasional beer and an after dinner liquor when his friends came over for dinner. Once I had lunch with him in New Haven in the 1974 when we both worked in the city (it was the summer that Nixon resigned). He had a pitcher of beer with lunch. He seemed the same before as he did afterwards. At that time I wasn’t as aware of the various shades of alcoholism as I became later.

In the 1980s my sister visited with my mother and father. I met them for lunch. I was to meet them later at their Bed and Breakfast and then we were to meet up my woman lover at a restaurant in Glen Ellen. When I met them at the B&B my father was extremely obnoxious: grabbing a magazine article from my hands while I was reading it, ignoring my protest, telling me I had to listen to him etc… Later I learned that he and my sister had gone to a bar after lunch and had been drinking. My mother probably just watched – she didn’t drink due to health issues.

I felt satisfied that I was able to help him and that he had accepted my help.

They moved from Connecticut to North Carolina and I visited them in 2000.

My father said out of the blue:

            They’ve discovered planets in other solar systems.”

            “Good for them,” I replied.

            “How does astrology explain that?”

‘Oh brother here we go again.’ I thought

“Sounds like your trying to make fun of my profession as an astrologer,” I said going to the end point.

“Ah, no, no I wasn’t,” he said and dropped the whole thing. I was relieved and he seemed relieved as well.

He often accused and never apologized, ever.

By August of 2005 my father was on oxygen from pulmonary fibrosis – a lung disease. Even on O2 he had difficulty breathing, gasping for air. Towards the last hour of my stay I offered to do some hands-on healing. I thought he would refuse since he rarely praised me and denigrated my actions, choices and accomplishments at every turn of my life. I was surprised that he agreed.

For the next 45 minutes while I was there he breathed normally and appeared thankful though he said nothing. I felt satisfied that I was able to help him and that he had accepted my help.

He died in 2006 on my birthday from from pulmonary fibrosis.


END NOTES:  I learned much about the frightened Conservative stance towards the world through my father and his strong patriarchal ideals. Underneath all that bluster, anger and rage was a frightened boy who had never recovered from the abuse at the hands of his father. My father acknowledged the beatings that my grandfather had meted out on him his sisters and his mother. I’m sure there was sexual abuse that was repressed and / or supressed by alcohol abuse and acting-out rage, just as my garndfather had sexually abused me in horrific ways.

Beyond the unhealed abuse and fear that caused him to shift from an expansive man who had voted for JFK to one who embraced Nixon, Reagan, and both Bushs. Nixon was elected in 1969 when my father was almost 50. This is sometimes the period that people wither or break free from their parents belief systems. Or they become dissillusioned with the ideals of youth and fall back into what they know. My father embraced conservativism because it was about the past – government unresponsive to the needs of the many and only able to see the needs of the privelged and the elite in which he identified.

Fear is a breeding ground for greed, having enough, believing government stood in the way of making as much money as possible for himself. He was angry at those in civil service work because they made almost as much as he did as an executive for Ma Bell. Manual labor was beneath him. The intellect was all powerful and deserved the best of the elite. The common man – the middle class became superfluous, invisible and therefore inconsequential to him.

He belived in the platitudes and the American Dream and thought that all had access to it through hard work. He was sexist and racist and homeophobic. He was a sad broken man who took out his wounds on others.

I am happy to have survived my childhood with my heart intact though it took me many years to get in-touch with my emotions. I have forgiven my father for all the wounds he had perpertated on me. And I trust that his consciousness is growing in a life beyond his mortal coil.

 

An Odyssey of Loss and Rebirth (May 2017 to May 2018)

fires

Fires of October 2017

 

I had dreams of the death of my friend Wendy former lover and good friend in early May and she had given me hints of her upcoming death over the phone but I missed them. Denial is so self-protecting at least initially.

the October fires of Northern California began

News came of Tom Petty’s death…

I got a voice mail from a good friend’s daughter on 9/28/17 about his impending death. I had known it was coming but it took me my surprise. The next day he passed out of his cancer-ridden physical body into the next life.

Wendy had died of cancer in May.

A week later the October fires of Northern California began. I evacuated, as did my neighbors – only to find that it wasn’t a mandatory evacuation as I was lead to believe by authorities on the scene. (I later learned they had moving heavy equipment – massive bulldozers into the mountains at the end of the road.). My cat and I stayed with a good friend in Windsor. I returned one day in the midst of smoke as thick as fog that not even air conditioning in my car, a mask or the interior of my house would eliminate to retrieve a few items and found a message on my answering machine to call the niece of Wendy in Canada.

The losses from the fires were and continue to be heartbreaking and devastating.

I waited until I arrived back in Windsor to call Wendy’s niece. She had gotten my letter (Wendy’s phone had been disconnected). Wendy had died of cancer in May.

My old boss was shot

The losses from the fires were and continue to be heartbreaking and devastating. Thankfully my place and my neighborhood were spared. Many homes that were completely destroyed are just now starting the re-building process. Loss and the anniversary of that loss have had us holding our breaths a bit. I felt us all sigh relief, exhaling as the rains came October first and second.

He was taken off hospice in May 2018

In December another friend passed from cancer.

My old boss was shot during the time my boss asked a question and was in critical condition for a time and then started his recovery.

A friend was put on hospice in February. I could see he wasn’t going to die that soon. He was taken off hospice in May 2018

Movies in the 1960s…

abstract analog art camera
Photo by Skitterphoto on Pexels.com

Steven Soderbergh just completed a second feature film using an iPhone exclusively. Very cool. This could be a big break for budding filmmakers and continue to flood the world of film / movies with even more.

The Hollywood blockbuster ruled.

Before streaming, film experts reported that there were more films made than there were screens to display them on – that was the late 1980s. Enter streaming and millions of films. The amount and size of flat screens increases and even though 4-walling movies (on theaters) does not begin to cover the volume of film home theater is attempting to meet the challenge.

As a Boomer I remember when cinema was a big deal. The Hollywood blockbuster ruled. There was a theater in a city south of my little town named the CineMart. They had ushers in red uniforms and hats that seated folks. Movies like “The Sound of Music”, Lawrence of Arabia” and Dr. Zhivago” played for a whole month or more.

“You can’t make movies, they only do it in Hollywood.”

Kubrick’s “2001: A Space Odyssey” played for a whole summer in 1968.

Music from the film played before the movie started. There were no short subjects, no previews and no ads – for anything. When the logo of Metro Goldwyn Mayer Lion appeared on the screen the curtain parted as the film played.

There was an Intermission announced across the wide 70 mm screen and for 15 or 20 minutes music from the film played. People stayed until the credits ceased and the house lights came up. Even in my small town we saw Oscar winning shorts before the feature and slews of cartoons – mostly “Looney Tunes”.

That didn’t stop us

Movies were special. And of course there was a catch. My friend Paul and I made movies, mostly very bad movies. When we tried to get classmates to be in our very bad movies they invariably said: “You can’t make movies, they only do it in Hollywood.”

That didn’t stop us. Our High School Art teacher Mrs. Bernarzyk told us about the Fordham’s Young Filmmaker Festival in NYC in February 1968. Our bad movie – The Chase was our ticket in. It was very cool – movies day and night for 3 days. I met these geeky guys from Long Island that made 3-D animation Godzilla films with models in their basements. The first YFF was during the first garbage strike in the cold and snow of February.

We saw a pre-screening of The Planet of The Apes, cool.

I went home and made films with 3-D (pixilation) animation with chairs, sneakers, laundry baskets, rocks and sometimes with people too.

The last film I made in those days – King Chair that was 3 minutes long and took 3 eight hour days to make was distributed with 2 other shorts and the only project where I made a $45 profit.

…. Later I adapted a James Thurber story – Unicorn in the Garden to a 20-minute plot-boiler of “Alien in the Refrigerator”

Time and the Processes of Time through the Enneagram

 

EnnegramTimeAtWork“The distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.”

Einstein

 

To Start

An ordinary human perspective cannot separate time from space. Time cannot exist without space and space cannot exist without time. In discussing time in this piece assume that time is always bound by space unless stated otherwise.

Humans by definition are corporeal and are subject to entropy’s jaws in a sea of time. The reverse may also hold truth: Consciousness expresses itself through individual human experiences or lives. Human life in our current epoch is finite. When humans are born they grow, their biology is plastic, then growth slows, entropy promotes decay and human bodies die and consciousness moves on. However the human power of identification (similar to manifestation) is a powerful force where life is bonded with the physical. When the bond is broken biological life ceases.

Our search for meaning occurs within the boundaries of time that can be both finite and infinite. Discussing the intricacies and types of time is a good backdrop to the search for discovery of meaning of the human species and the consciousness that is associated with it.

The following discourse is meant as an introduction to Time as Process so topics that are introduced may not necessarily be explored in depth.

[see also: Memory, Time and Identity ]

 

Using the Enneagram as a process tool to map Time

Enneagram or Nine-Picture represents an on-going process of completion. In number theory nine represents completion. Ten is manifestation and belongs to a new cycle of numbers. The numbers of 1 – 9 are natural numbers. Nine is the highest one digit number in a system of numbers using base 10.

The enneagram examines the system of process that includes the law of three – a basic principle of action in this universe. The law of three contains these principles:

  • Affirming – active with a positive charge
  • Denying – receptive with a negative charge
  • Reconciling – neutral with no charge

Enneagram3-copy

Figure 1

The law of three is the principle of every action and transformative urge in our universe throughout the arc of time.

EnnegramTimeAtWork
Figure 2
  1. Biological                                                                                  5. Relative
  2. Linear                                                                                        6. Simultaneous
  3. Being                                                                                          7. Alternate Reality
  4. Perceptual                                                                                 8. Transcending

9. Time At Work

 

Linear Progressions

ONE: Biological Time

Animals and plants are biological beings. A single cell reproduces through mitosis – divides and makes a copy of itself – in an asexual manner. This is movement through space-time.

Biological beings live in the context of an environment created by Earth that we now refer to as the ecosphere. This context is related to day and night cycles as governed by the rotation of Earth on her axis, the tilt of Earth’s axis that creates the angle of the Sun’s light striking Earth creating seasons and the orbit of the Earth around the Sun creating the yearly cycle. We are biological beings in an intricate relationship of Earth with itself, the Sun and other planets in the solar system (and beyond).

All biological beings are living in finite time: they are born, they grow, they reproduce, they begin to decay and then they die – in terms of their physical bodies. As living beings they move through space-time and as such an awareness of time is programmed into their cells, biological systems (neurons, cardiovascular, endocrine, genetics and so on).

Animals including the human animal have biological systems that interact with the environment in space-time. We may consider the circadian and diurnal rhythms of animals and plants primitive. In fact they are not primitive but the foundation for awareness of time and survival of an individual or a species.

Humans are animals separated from a greater awareness of biological time due to the technologies of civilization: language, days, seasons, agriculture, machinery, computers, neural nets and so on. As humans we dwell inside homes saturated with light pollution for example. We don’t fall asleep with the dark and rise to the light, instead we often use alarm clocks to awaken, stay awake with the assistance of electric light, television, computers, electronics – all light pollution that enables us to break from our biological time sense.

We have forgotten that we are animals and have lost our connection to biological time in part through mediated experiences. Mediation is the state in the middle, that which acts through an intervening agency or exhibiting indirect causation, connection, or relation. The buffers are mediators between us and nature. Language is a buffer or media that separates us from direct experience because words are media descriptions of reality. They are symbols of reality and may stand in the way of our direct experience of reality. Civilization and its increasing complexity serve to keep us separate from biological time.

 

TWO: Linear Time 

Linear time was invented by humans through the auspices of language, aural and written as well as increasingly complexities of civilization. Linear time belongs to a mediated experience primarily connected to the structures of language. Human languages are based on syntax that provides a subject, an action, a starting point and a destination. In other words sentences have a beginning, middle and end. The structure of language is analogous to the structure of linear time.

Time as we know it has a beginning, middle and end, connected to biological time loosely through the mediated experiences of language and via extrapolation civilization’s codes of behavior and order. Its highly unlikely that linear time would have developed in the way that it did without the platform of biological time supporting the rhythms found in our physical bodies.

Linear time is connected to Earth’s spin on its axis as well as its orbit around our Yellow Dwarf Star that we refer to as the Sun and this is part of our biology and these cycles have been measured and quantified.

Our separation from our natural selves (in biology) through the mediated experiences of language and linear time has erased our individual and collective experiences of anything beyond linear time. Linear thinking and linear time have become invisible and as such constitute the only reality that we know and accept often without question.

Time has been measured with increasing accuracy as the sophistication of civilization has increased. Pope Gregory convened a commission in the year 1582 AD to fix the calendar due to Easter moving forward in time. Leap year was created to correct the time discrepancies in the calendar: every four years one extra day was added to February – mainly the 29th of the month. Something like 3 non-weeks were observed before the new (Gregorian) calendar was re-booted. When trains began connecting communities across Europe each town had a different time, so trains weren’t on-schedule due to different times in each town. This was corrected by the creation of time zones and a universal time based on the time in Greenwich England that came to be known as Greenwich Mean Time. Now Atomic clocks are the most accurate clocks in their measure of seconds, minutes and hours.

Linear time is an agreed-upon fantasy.

 

THREE: Being or Eternal Time 

This is part of the triad and exists as an intermittent part of linear time and independently from the flow of time from biological to linear to perceptual. Being or Eternal time is rarely experienced because it exists outside language and outside biological time as perceived through linear time.

Being / Eternal Time lightly touches linear time by nullifying it abet briefly and enabling ego a wider perspective.

When Being or Eternal Time is discussed using aural or written language it loses it’s meaning because it exists outside linear time. As such there is an ineffable quality to it that transcends ego. Inevitably ego claims the experience and it is reduced in its scope to the mundane.

In a traditional relationship of master to student or apprentice Being / Eternal time may be explored or discussed only to confirm the authenticity of the experience and provide ground for future experiences. This must be engaged in with care and precision due to the delicacy of the experience and only when the student is ready.

I have experienced Being/Eternal time three times from a spontaneous arising. Other encounters with Being / Eternal time has been by cultivating a space through a variety of practices without expecting any particular results.

For more:

https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2017/11/23/being-the-wider-perspective-in-troubled-times/

https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2015/11/24/being-and-doing/

https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2016/07/01/ego-life-versus-eternal-life/

FOUR: Perceptual Time

 

Time-InnerLines
Figure 3

 

Perceptual time is our individual subjective experiences of time that lies between biological and linear time. In the television series Star Trek: The Next Generation, Commander Riker tells Data that humans don’t have “internal chronometers” and that he should turn his off if he wants to perceive time like a human being.

The subjective nature of perceived time allows linear time to be perceived as shortened or lengthened depending on the participant. Perceptual time may be closer to our experience of biological time but because of the invisible technologies of language, ego and individual perceptual facilities we may never know definitively.

Attention and the focus of attention come into play in perceiving time. For example an hour and a half trip from Sonoma to downtown San Francisco in moderate to heavy traffic took only 60 minutes due to the focus of my attention. Normally the trip is 1 hour and 40 minutes in moderate to light traffic. I had a fever of 101 at the time and I was driving a friend/colleague to a conference. My focus was 100% on the trip, not driving too fast and being efficient. I focused on the result, our safety and arriving as soon as possible. I never drove over the speed limit.

 

Points 1 through 4 

Biological

Linear

Being

Perceptual

Points 1, 2, 3 and 4 belong both to a linear progression and an eternal process. Points 1, 2 and 4 belong to the finite world of a cause and effect progression. As you can see (figure 2 and figure 3) there is a gap between points 4 and 5. The gap is an opening for a shock to occur, something that occurs from outside – a transformation that allows the process to go from point 4 to 5.

For example in the quanta world (of quantum physics) nine dimensions are often discussed – these 9 dimensions could support this dimension by providing the energy to intersect the enneagram between points 4 and 5 to provide the jump between the mundane and the quanta world.

See also the piece Enneagram as Process – Primer https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2018/05/03/enneagram-as-process-a-primer/

In the Primer The Kitchen at Work The points 4 – Preparation of meats and vegetables – to Point 5 – Cooking. The points between 4 and 5 or the process of cooking provides a transformation that shocks the process into the second part of the octave 5 – 6 – 7 – 8

 

FIVE: Relative Time 

Einstein’s Theory of Special Relativity is the feature of point 5 with some expanded ideas:

  • The speed of light is a constant (meaning that it never changes)
  • People traveling at or close to the speed of light observing others on a planet the planetary persons would be moving slower. (This is only true for objects traveling close to or at the speed of light.)
  • Time and Space cannot be separated.
  • Objects approaching the speed of light become heavier – increase in mass while decreasing in length.
  • Mass can be transformed into energy and energy can be transformed into mass resulting in the law of “conservation of energy” or more correctly stated as the conservation of mass-energy. The conservation of energy is a System based theory where two systems are connected. E = MC2. E is energy. M is mass, C is the speed of light or velocity.

 

Expanded Ideas:

Light is Consciousness and Love (knowable as a person of knowledge “knows”.)

Light transcends time

Light, Consciousness and Love hold time

Light and Consciousness hold multiple time-space modalities

 

These expanded ideas can only be known in a way of learning that as seekers touch mastery they “know” from a place of Being.

 

SIX: Simultaneous Time

Points 1 through 5

  1. Biological
  2. Linear
  3. Being
  4. Perceptual
  5. Relative

Each of the modalities of time listed above can occur in an experience of simultaneous time. In experiencing simultaneous time – travel through time via both consciousness and linear travel become possible.

The key in the other five points of time is awareness. From our finite biological perspective it’s impossible to hold all of the five points of time in our awareness simultaneously. Humans think associatively, meaning that one idea is associated with another. Multitasking is a myth (see https://www.inc.com/scott-mautz/psychology-and-neuroscience-blow-up-the-myth-of-effective-multitasking.html and https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/creativity-without-borders/201405/the-myth-multitasking ). Multi-tasking is shifting attention from one task to another rapidly often with a loss of efficiency and a creating an illusion that many tasks can be done at once with superb attention.

An example of associative thought is – taking a walking or an automobile trip. One cannot think of the whole trip all at once. Looking at a map is not looking at the trip itself it is a mediated representation of a trip. 1. You might get in your car, back out of your driveway or pull out onto your street. 2. Drive to the end of the street by the traffic light and go right after stopping or waiting for the green light. 3. Driving down the next street towards the entrance to the interstate or freeway. One cannot hold all three steps in your head or attention at once, but you can follow each step one after the other and even access them from your memory.

There are five and possibly many more perspectives on time especially when the quanta worlds are applied. Linear is built on biological; perceptual time happens when we pay attention. Being and Relative Time occur mostly outside linear time by chance or by cultivation.

Humans can sometimes experience small moments of simultaneous time in a continuum of associated thinking supported by memory. Memory is the key to simultaneous time. Memory is an interactive process that occurs between perceptual facilities such as sight, sound, olfactory, gustatory, balance, etc. and the combinations of these perceptions create memories of the human experience. Individual memories interact with other individual memories to create a neural net of shared and /or consensual memories.

Simultaneous time makes space for theories of time travel to be constructed. Briefly memory is primed for quantum entanglement, which is the bedrock from whence time “travel” becomes possible. This will be discussed in a future article.

 

SEVEN: Alternate Reality Time

Dissociative Identity Disorder at its most extreme that include blackouts and alternate personalities that have no awareness of other personalities is the first link or clue to alternate realities in time.

Often when the notion of alternative realities is presented we go straight to a Hollywood explanation, which is mostly based in fantasy. It creates a reality peopled with people like us or with monsters (TV shows: Fringe, Timeless, Travellers, & Stranger Things). The alternate realities in the quanta world are potential realities that may exist for short periods of time as a way to support the current corporeal space-time.

We currently create temporary quanta alternate realities all the time (in the now) in a limited bandwidth of choice. These alternate realities do not have enough energy to involve others because the force of each choice is very limited. Extreme trauma in certain individuals creates dissociative identity disorder or multi-personalities and this is an example of alternative realities that exist for an individual.

Time lines can be altered if the energy is great enough. Only one corporeal or coarse physical reality can exist, so if enough energy is applied one reality can be destroyed and another created. Atomic bombs are the only known force where time-lines for entire civilizations can be altered.

An alternative reality could exist parallel to this one if there were enough people able to make free choices or decisions in harmony with one another. The choices that most humans have are extremely limited because they are NOT free choices. We are under the illusion that we make free choices all the time and this has to do with our political systems at work etc.

Choices we assume are free are based on the programming we receive as children from our parents. Whether we accept or reject what our parents have taught us we are not free. If we rebel or are opposition to a parental stance we are still caught by the rubric of our parents’ teaching because we are in reaction to it. Most of our choices are based on unconscious role modeling from our parents and this is the most pernicious.

Analyzing or using talk-therapy to explore our choices while helpful does not address the problem of choice so it’s swallowed up by slavery to habitual actions. The constant pull of the ego creates an illusion of control and the illusion of free will. Ego does not provide a permanent center in an individual. To find and cultivate the Master within takes a commitment that most are unwilling or unable to take.

We have free will under the illusion of Ego that keeps us enslaved to habits and allows for temporary alternate realities to form and fall away.

If we were to have free will and make an act based on nothing then we could create something real that could include a force powerful enough to launch an alternate reality for a brief period in time in which consciousness could dwell for the purpose of creating greater consciousness and possibly more.

 

EIGHT: Transcendent Time

Transcendent time is related to Being or Eternal Time because it allows us to have a point of reference that includes ego and higher aspects of the self.

Transcending time is made through the cultivation of spaces within our ego-existence where ego can be relinquished. This takes work along the area of the four sources [1].

  • Learning – comes from books, which are often secondary sources of knowledge. Learning also originates from a traditional process of the student – teacher relationship. Under the way of “knowing” this kind of learning being comes into play. Certain truths are recognized and other information is discarded. However some information can be put aside for later re-examination.
  • Struggle – Most struggle is considered odious. We want life to be easy without struggle. However most of our struggles are not seen as struggles, but as experiences that we easily pass through. A person excited to bound out of bed in the morning to greet the day is a struggle that is easily overcome and is not considered a struggle. Struggle reduced to its most common elements is a battle between “Yes” and “No”. Effective struggle can create energy.

Help and Sacrifice/Surrender belong to Spirit. When we open to it – the interface between the divine and mundane happens outside causal physics – in the quanta world.

  • Help – Asking for assistance /help from somebody is fairly straight forward. When many people ask for help from God, for example, they have reduced their personas to those of children. Asking for help from the divine or that which is greater than oneself is an art. Asking to win the lottery or a new car falls into the category of child-parent asking. It makes for expectation without having to do anything in return. Expectation fills the space preventing help from entering or being recognized as help. >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> The art of asking for help is making a request, making a space to let the wish appear and then releasing the request. Gifting from the divine is not usually answered in the spoken word. It may come in the form of clues or prompts for action. Or it could come all at once.

 

  • Sacrifice / Surrender – Modern peoples have an abhorrence to the word “sacrifice” because they see it as coming from lack or self flagellation. Surrender is a less offense word, but to sacrifice the ego is a swift action, so both may be used. Sacrificing ego and self-will allows the divine aspect ourselves to enter and act through us. The Observer watches as this happens. We don’t disappear. The divine / Higher Aspect of the Self though elusive and difficult to define is a robust force that holds ego. Ego comes in rapidly as soon as we claim the experience thinking or saying “I” did this or felt that. It’s impossible to adequately describe the sacrifice and / or surrender of the will because this is a step into transcendent time.

 

Parallel-Lines
Figure 4

 

An examination of the parallel lines assist in understanding the causal events in linear-time:

 

  1. 8-1 Eight is Transcendent Time which cannot exist without a biological platform as is in number One. These points form the structural center for completion to manifest. It is part of the inner structure and is not causally visible as are points 1, 2, [3] and 4…
  2. 7-2 Seven are Alternate Realities which cannot exist without the platform of Linear Time / number Two. Perception of alternate realities cannot be discerned without the invention of linear time, due to the intellectual parsing needed to see individual and collective alternate reality worlds.
  3. 5-4 Five is the Theory of Relativity which is an expansion of Perception – number Four and is the only two points that have a cohesive internal parallel structure and a causal one that requires a shock for transformation to occur.

 

NINE: Time At Work

Number Nine contains elements of all the other 8 points. Its impossible to think of all the points simultaneously due to our associative thought processes (associating one thought with another in binary pairs).

Time at Work represents all the preceding 8 points in one place. Approached from the law of three we add three and the result is 6 plus 3  is 9. If all human thinking is associative based on a binary system of (+) and (-) or affirming and denying; force and reception, the third force is missing, the force that is (0) or neutral. If associative /binary thought can be balanced a calmed emotional or neutral state may be the zero point. By providing a neutral point the dialectic or battle between (+) or (-) / between “yes” and “no” can be released through the neutral or reconciling “force”. The power between the binary associative thought of (+) and (-) (or “yes” and “no”) is released in a transformation of energy through the neutral or reconciling energy. The triad of energy is reproduced two more times to make the enneagram or completion process.

The triad is reflected in our human structure in our three brains:

TimeTriadEnnea
figure 5

 

The three grains are:  point 3 – the 3rd eye- the higher aspects of thought; point 6 – the chi – locus of the physical body or gut brain or moving center; point 9 – The Heart / Emotion from the absolute of Love;

Nine then becomes the reconciling or neutral force in the triad of 3 and 6.

Looking at Time at Work within the enneagram structure from the perspective of the octave – the musical scale of:

  1. Do – Dominus – Lord/Absolute
  2. Re – Regina Coli – Queen of the Heavens/Moon
  3. Mi – Micro Cosmos – Small Universe/Solar System
  4. Fa – Fatima – Mother – Fate/Planets
  5. Sol – Solar – Sun/Demiurge
  6. La – Lactea – Milk/Milky Way Galaxy
  7. Si – Sider – Stars/All Galaxies
  8. Do – Dominus – Lord/Absolute

 

  1. Om – the one tone that is the completion process that includes the other eight.

 

 

EnnegramTimeAtWorkfigure 2

The one “place” we may realize time at work fully is a place where space and time do not exist in that “realm” after death where consciousness and love abound. Time at Work may be glimpsed here in the realm of corporeal life when we contact the divine mysteries for brief moments when ego falls away and we can touch the illusion of time.

 

NOTES

[1] The Four Sources are paraphrased from J. G. Bennett’s book: Transformation by J.G. Bennett

[2] for a comprehensive study of the Enneagram see: The Intelligent Enneagram by A.G.E. Blake

 

 

For more about my work: Ontario’s The Kai – website

 

Memory, Time and Identity

“The distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion.”  Einstein

ArcOtimeX

Linear time is the kind of time we know and we are often unaware of it and rarely question its veracity due to its invisibility.

Memory is the foundation of identity, time, space, intent, purpose, meaning and perhaps destiny. Without memory humans as we know the species could not exist.

Sense Organs and Memory

Senses

Memory, both long and short term, appears to be stored and processed in the human neo-cortex. It is created through a variety of perceptual filters through a variety of senses that are organ-based for external stimuli:

  1. Visual
  2. Auditory
  3. Tactile
  4. Olfactory
  5. Gustatory (taste)
  6. Itch
  7. Pressure
  8. Temperature
  9. Hunger
  10. Thirst
  11. Pain
  12. Direction
  13. Muscle Tension
  14. Proprioception -the ability to tell where your body parts are, relative to other body parts
  15. Equilibrioception – spatial orientation, balance, body movement, acceleration and decceralation, directional changes
  16. Stretch Receptors – these are found in such places as the lungs, bladder, stomach, blood vessels, and the gastrointestinal tract.)
  17. Chemoreceptors – these triggers areas of the medulla in the brain that is involved in detecting blood born hormones and drugs. It also is involved in the vomiting reflex.
  18. Sexual stimulation

Non-organ sensations cannot be separated from memory and they include but may not be limited to:

  • Attention – may be the only sense involves the shifting or changing focus to internal or external stimuli in present time and involves memory as an adjunct
  • Time / Memory- time* cannot exist without memory and memory cannot exist without time
  • Agency – meaning a subjective feeling of having chosen an action
  • Familiarity – recognition (grounded in long and short term memory cues)

All the sense organs / filters listed above interact with memory and help form a sensation of the passage of time and cement individual and species identity. Memory is processed through and interacts with a number of perceptual filters that we as humans create our environment (see figure 1 below):

personMemory

Senses, Memory and Attention

Individual memories exist and are malleable. Memory is selective depending on how we cultivate focused and diffused attention within conscious memory. Our brains hold more information than the conscious memories that we can recall. That information could consist of our unconscious memories. It is possible to access unconscious memories in the present through a variety of techniques (practiced divided attention, trance-work, hypnotherapy to name a few).

Language, ego, learning, familial prejudices and biases, beliefs and emotional states are some of the factors that are screeners for the focus of attention. The amount of information that impinges on all our sense organs and their combinations are much more than we remember consciously. This unregistered data may represent some of the information that comes through to us in dreams and /or it could be useful in long term memory retrieval and reconstruction and / or it could represented shared memory consciousness, “past, future or parallel lives”. Until we access the unconscious materials we may never know what the specifics of unregistered data, how it is stored, where it is stored and how it can be retrieved.

All of us know how to focus our attention because we have been inculcated with this method of “paying attention” since we entered elementary school. Most American public education systems have been organized along a Prussian military system of rows and columns dictated for order with attention drawn exclusively to the teacher. This way of directing attention besides being an active method is built on a hierarchical system that implies strata or a class system.

Active attention is a subject focusing on an object as directed by a intermediary mainly a teacher. Television, Cinema, and some computer applications are examples of active attention systems. Networks of roads and automobile travel also follows the active attention system.

Receptive attention is invisible mostly because the habituation of active / focused attention. Receptive attention could be relegated to daydreaming and is mostly discarded as a learning strategy. Receptive attention involves subtly shifting focus from one point to an aggregate field. This kind of focus is one of dividing attention by shifting from different foci. For example look at the dot at the center of figure 3.

 

AttentionExercise

Blur your focus. Then use your peripheral vision to attend to the field. This can be done in your house as well: 1. Stare a point on the wall opposite of where you are sitting; 2. While continuing to stare at the dot pay attention to the surround “aggregate” field with your attention taking note of what you glean in your visual field. Exercises like this one are designed to stretch or lengthen attention span while allowing the receptive information that your senses are registering to be acknowledged and cataloged to some degree.

Attention is the building block of consciousness. Memory recall allows attention to expand based on previous experiences. The main danger and/or benefit of operating from memory are assumptions. The danger of some assumptions based on memories of previous experiences could be premises that are faulty for a variety of reasons. The benefit of making assumptions based on memories are streaming lining habits that become part of autonomic processing. Driving a car is an example. Once we learn the processes of driving they become habit and go into autonomic processing flow.

Repetitive acts become habits seamlessly so our conscious minds can pay attention to other stimuli in our immediate environments.

 

Space-Time and Memory

Linear time is the kind of time we know. We know this kind of time so well we don’t call it linear. We don’t see it as illusion or a system we invented unless we have been alerted that it exists in this way. Linear time is invisible and seamless. We continually make assumptions about “the past” as if it is a place that exists – in the past because we remember it. We remember past events that have been ordered by language and linear-spatial time because our parents and the current epoch of civilization have taught us to structure reality in this way. We learned aural language to communicate with our parents and define ourselves – “this is me and this is not me” etc. The structure of language follows a pattern of past, present and future.

Most of our identity is recorded in our memory. The past exists in the present accessible through memories. Assumptions about “the future” are extrapolations based on past assumptions of commonly observable events currently stored in memory.

Families, friends, groups, communities, states, nations and historians holding a particular point of view agree upon shared memories of recorded histories. These consensual memories are sometimes built on entrenched philosophical stances and highly charged emotional states. Conservative Republicans have different interpretations of facts presented by historians than Left leaning Liberal Democrats. Sometimes facts are disputed and sometimes not but the course of action differs based on belief etc.

Memories record the passage of time and provide the illusion that the past exists in a place. The reason for this is memories recreate the passage of time in a full sensory 3-D memory replete with emotional content etc. Past memories are not the literal past. Memories are merely a record of past events.

It’s easier to see that the future doesn’t exist because we have no memory of it. We anticipate future events base on past memories, extrapolations, assumptions and expectations etc.

The fleeting present that disappears into short term memory can barely be grasped if at all. Memory, associative thought and emotion are the factors that help create identity.

 

Collective / Shared Memory

Our human species while having features in our brains and bodies for memory storage there may be a shared weak EM (electromagnetic) field that may hold memories in common. However there is mutual agreement for collective memory as recorded in history books and writings made by individuals in history itself. Individual memories interact with others to form a collective memory system (see figure 2 below):

MemoryNet

 

Memory is both individual and shared. A human cannot thrive alone completely. Infants need parents for care and learning – creating the basis for shared and eventually collective memories. This not only defines individual identity but it also ensures the survival of the species.

Strong recognition appears to be based on emotional bonds that are reinforced by memory recall as well as many accompanying perceptual filters (organs). I recognize my mother’s face and she recognizes mine. There is an emotional bond that sparks memory with the bond of love. This is one example of how we create an individual in an interdependent social world.

In NDE (Near Death Experiences) people sometimes report passing through a tunnel of light and meeting relatives that have passed on. Are these memories of “dead” relatives or are these actual relatives?

When my father passed to the next life I watched different vibrational fields create the tunnel of light that his consciousness passed through. He “met” his dead relatives and conjured them up as he remembered them. They in-turn used these conjurings to interface in a recognizable medium for the purpose of communication. (Could this also be happening as we meet friends and relatives still living?)

Many quantum physicists are admitting that reality is created by us and projected “out there” to be experienced. If we as a species are creating reality based on the 18 senses listed below:

  • Visual
  • Auditory
  • Tactile
  • Olfactory
  • Gustatory (taste)
  • Itch
  • Pressure
  • Temperature
  • Hunger
  • Thirst
  • Pain
  • Direction
  • Muscle Tension
  • Proprioception -the ability to tell where your body parts are, relative to other body parts
  • Equilibrioception – spatial orientation, balance, body movement, acceleration and decceralation, directional changes
  • Stretch Receptors – these are found in such places as the lungs, bladder, stomach, blood vessels, and the gastrointestinal tract.)
  • Chemoreceptors – these triggers areas of the medulla in the brain that is involved in detecting blood born hormones and drugs. It also is involved in the vomiting reflex.
  • Sexual stimulation

And 4 non-organ sensations cannot be separated from memory (or 22 senses in all) and they include but may not be limited to:

  • Attention – may be the only sense involves the shifting or changing focus to internal or external stimuli in present time and involves memory as an adjunct
  • Time / Memory – time* cannot exist without memory and memory cannot exist without time
  • Agency – meaning a subjective feeling of having chosen an action
  • Familiarity – recognition (grounded in long and short term memory cues)

 

All 22 senses listed above rely on memory to function. If memory did not exist we would not know about them. Time and Memory are so inexorably bound and belong together as a sense and involve all other senses.

All the senses listed above including time/memory work in concert with others of our human species. It would seem that memory and the “passage of time” that composes the identity of individuals is necessary for the survival of the species. It follows that our species might also interact with other collective memories of species such as mammals, animals, vegetation, bacteria and viruses.

There are two types of time-space-memory modalities one is explicit and the other implicit. The explicit or more obvious time/space/memory modality is oral and written history, archeology – most written and is based on consensual historical agreements of past memories. There are histories of the Holocaust as perpetrated by Hitler and the Nazis is a matter of eye-witness accounts. There are oral histories – both in person and through media as films and television documentaries and written histories in books. However its safe to report that there is no one still alive to give an oral report of the American Revolutionary War. Our collective memories arise from written histories after the fact and documents written during the time of the war. An implicit modality is only a theory that there is a collective time/space collective memory net in a low frequency EM field.

The discovery of magnetite produced in the human brain that assists in generating a low level EM (Electromagnetic) field that coordinates with the electromagnetic energy of Earth and with geomagnetic storms. Since memory is stored as electric impulses in the brain it can be extrapolated that the low EM field could relate to an exo-corporeal field that the members of the human species create in a group memory net.

Memories accessed from the group memory net (GMN) could be a form time travel via consciousness transfer alone. Authors writing similar themes in distant locations could have easily accessed the GMN. The GMN could define the human species as a whole via access and group subsets within that whole that may supersede the connectivity of the Internet.

 

NOTES:

*Time – time may be experienced in a wider consciousness and lose memory as we know it. This is nearly impossible to explain because it supersedes ordinary human experience

Coming to Grips with the Implications of Quantum Mechanics

Brain Crystals and Psychic Powers – A Video

Time and The Processes of Time Through the Enneagram

 

For more about my work: Ontario’s The Kai – website

 

 

Triggers – a personal story

corona

I’m no expert. I have lived with triggers all my life but didn’t know they were triggers until I was in my late 30s.

It was a body memory evoking trigger [that lasted] ten years

What is a trigger in terms of a psychological phenomena? Wikipedia describes:

trauma trigger is the subjective attribution that a psychologic stimulus caused someone to recall the memory of a previous psychological trauma, although the stimulus itself need not be frightening or traumatic and can be indirectly or superficially reminiscent of an earlier traumatic incident. Trauma triggers are related to posttraumatic stress disorder(PTSD), a condition in which people often cannot control the recurrence of emotional or physical symptoms,[1] or of repressed memory.[2][3][4] Triggers can be subtle and difficult to anticipate,[1][5] and can sometimes exacerbate PTSD. A trauma trigger may also be referred to as a trauma stimulus or a trauma stressor.[6]

Remembering times in my past where I had been mildly dissociated. I surmised that I may have been triggered and didn’t know it. Then there were the blackouts with substances and then without substances where triggers were most definitely involved, but impossible to identify.

I told myself that my body felt safe

One of the first pervasive triggers that I experienced lasted during all my waking hours for ten years. It was was a body memory that evoked triggers but in the beginning had no emotion attached to it and then there were fleeting feelings of sadness, grief and moments of profound depression. After those feelings passed the one that remained was rage. It was always there in the background.

The body memory was related to sexual trauma and PTSD symptoms. The specific body memory was a sensation in my jaw that someone was trying to open my mouth and I was resisting with all my might.

One of the difficulties with triggers are identifying that I have been triggered.

I told myself that my body felt safe enough to remember the trigger. Each time I noticed the body memory trigger its physical sensations and accompanying emotions I told myself that my body was releasing the memories.

One day after ten years I woke up and thought: “Something is different.” When I first acknowledged that the body memory had ceased it came back immediately. Within a few days it disappeared. It returns occasionally but is no longer a fixture in my life.

One of the difficulties with triggers are identifying that I have been triggered. Sometimes it has taken me days to realize I have been triggered especially if I feel angry or rageful with a seemingly rational reason.

The nature of being triggered flips me into being isolated because perpetrators isolated me to abuse me.

There have only been three times where I have been able to identify the source of the trigger. One was the body memory of sexual abuse, already mentioned above. I was with a client in his home. He pursed his lips a certain way and I had a visceral response of wanting to punch him and beat him up. I had to bite my tongue to calm down and restraint myself from beating him up. Why the trigger occurred was not in doubt, what it was – was uncertain.

In October of 1995 when I was driving back from having had therapy in Pt. Reyes Station I was driving under a plume of smoke from the Mt Vision fires that destroyed over 40,000 acres. The smoke made the sun red as it set. When I returned home I was inconsolably in tears. I called my therapist – why was I so upset? I had asked. “The fire is big and out-of-control just as your perpetrators were when you were young.” She suggested I use a coping tool to calm down and manage the trigger. I did.

The problems with most triggers are:

  • An environmental cue activates trauma from our past.
  • Once triggered we often enter a regressed or frozen state when we had been traumatized – and may not realize we have been triggered (a call for help to a support person or persons may be useful).
  • We may act out as a result of having been triggered. (This can be mild to major and perhaps life-threatening).
  • We may appear non-rational to others where they may shun us or they may also get triggered.
  • The desire to identify and control future triggers may consume us. Realizing this is an impossible venture is a good first step to work on defusing and working with future triggers.

The nature of being triggered flips me into being isolated because perpetrators isolated me to abuse me. So when I get triggered, especially when I don’t realize I am triggered I isolate. It was a strategy I used as a child to survive. It may or may not have worked very well but when I am triggered and don’t know I am triggered it remains my “go-to” strategy.

Thinking about what “just happened” and analyzing it with the thought that “If I can figure it out I can – know what happened to me; – I can prevent it from happening again.

Thinking was what I used as a child from inside the trauma to survive is a habit. But it doesn’t necessarily work very well to solve the emotional trigger of the trauma. Its one of the ways I perpetuate remaining isolated and lost in a regressive or frozen state of trauma from the past.

Its good to have a preemptive plan to deal with triggers in advance so we can get the help we need until we reach a place where we can deal with triggers more effectively.

This is where a therapist can assist or a self-help guide.

I have found that when I know that I’m triggered that I tell myself I am ready to handle it because I’m aware that I’ve been triggered. However if I’m triggered but am not yet aware of it, I know that I feel stuck, agitated, and/or distressed emotionally I try one of the following options:

  • I reach out for support
  • I ask for feedback
  • I ask for help
  • I sit with my feelings and try to identify what they are before taking any action.

This is just a sample and in no way is what I recommend.

What I do recommend is for you to come up with your own safety plan for dealing with emotional upsets, stuck places and triggers.

[NOTE: I was triggered by my partner when we were hiking Mount Tamalpais (in Marin County California). I told her. She wanted to take responsibility by wanting to know what she had done to trigger me. I told her I didn’t know and that it wasn’t her fault. I told her that I just wanted her to know in case she felt me pulling away from her during my process of the trigger and using my safety measures. I’m not sure she understood and decided not to tell her again if I had been triggered due to her response.

Often in dysfunctional relationships we put responsibility on others for our emotions. This is a reaction that does not make another responsible for our response. We have feelings. In relationships – couple therapy is a good idea to help resolve interpersonal communications and dysfunctional dynamics. Individual therapy can be useful too.

When a trigger brings up a feeling in one person and that one person blames another for their trigger – this is an incorrect understanding of a trigger. Conversely of a non-triggered person enters into an interaction with a triggered partner for example especially if the triggered person is unaware they have been triggered then a mess ensues. If the triggered person becomes aware they have been triggered and the non-triggered partner attempts to intervene – to fix the situation then what occurs still could result in a mess.

One possible way to prevent a trigger from creating a mess would to speak with your partner about your triggers. Explain to them they are in no way responsible for the emotional reactions they – the triggered person, may have and that they may need:

  • space
  • try to be patient – wait
  • for the non-triggered person not to make assumptions
  • know they are in no way responsible for having been triggered.