“Why Traps” – an Affirming Present or a Future Expectation of Negative Outcomes

brain_f2 Psychoanalysis uncovers the genesis of a problem or problems rooted in the unconscious and when understood by the conscious mind there is an occurrence of healing. This is a vast oversimplification and it belongs to a world of mechanistic cause and effect relationships with an assumption that the mind unlocks healing.

Our brains are hardwired for fear and possible negative outcomes.

This myth is perpetuated into logical thought and the some of shortcomings of the scientific method. In other words psychoanalysis has perpetuated an assumption that thought and the will can overcome unconscious traumas of childhood. That would be true if everyone lived in a cause and effect world.

Fears and anxieties based on an expectation of a negative outcome is an urge some people to begin to try and think how to escape the negative outcome. This in-turn encourages more thinking to solve the problem. This is the cycle of worry or obsessive thinking. The pattern of this kind of thinking may soothe the thinker for a nanosecond but then initiates the obsessive pattern again. The worrier doesn’t use fear to attract the negative outcome to themselves but allows them to find situations were the negative pattern manifests. [People come to me and ask about romantic relationships they inevitably say they feel in-love for the person because it feels “right” and “familiar”. The root word of “familiar” is family. After a few dates I suggest some questions. If the person asking me is a woman talking about a man, I ask the woman about her relationship with her father. I suggest that the woman ask the man about his relationship with his mother. You get the idea.] The family we were raised in represented a particular world. Some offspring leave the world of the dysfunction – often cause and effect relationships for a world in the present and they may slip back into the cause and effect world when encountering a parent or two or siblings. The function of expectation for a negative outcome is key and this is often an unconscious process.

When we humans feel joy and happiness expectation falls away.

Our brains are hardwired for fear and possible negative outcomes. This took place over a long period of time probably tens of thousand of years and was based in survival against real danger, such as being attacked and eaten by predators. Eventually the patterns that helped our ancestors cope with dangers were substituted with fears based on anxieties about our negative expectations of a future based on a causal world.

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When we humans feel joy and happiness expectation falls away. These are emotions that expand and uplift and belong to a different reality than the expectations of negative outcomes and how to solve them. Expectations of negative outcomes and its solution – obsessional thinking curl us into self-protective loops that create conditions for suffering and breakdowns. Joy and happiness belong to a separate reality divorced from expectation and in the world of the present.

This takes a compassionate neutral place within our Being.

I had a friend that would ask me “Why?” to whatever subject she was grappling with at the time. I would answer that “Why?” questions assume that if one knew the reason for this or that problem then there would be a self-evident solution. “Why” questions belong to the cause and effect world of psychoanalysis. Cause and effect worlds are less complex and predictable. The Higher Worlds predicated in the present are more complex because the emotions of joy, happiness and love open us and make “Why” questions superfluous. The intellect and rational thought is not the answer to everything.

Overcoming worry and causal realities takes time and effort. Awareness is the first step. Awareness must be free of judgment. The spin of worry / obsessional thinking must be observed without judgment. This takes a compassionate neutral place within our Being. This place requires cultivation. Once the force of a witness is sufficiently cultivated we become aware when we are obsessing and have an expectation for a negative outcome.

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A conscious breath may be enough to interrupt the pattern for a second. The use of distraction, moving out pattern of thinking to feelings of hope and joy may help us shift out of the pattern. Repeated efforts along these lines are necessary throughout our lives because of the hard-wiring of our brain explained above. For a better habit to replace a bad habit- especially one that is hardwired into our brains must be continually practiced.

I have noticed that breakthroughs into other worlds and even into a “place” beyond time are possible.

 

A practice of saying “thank-you” from the heart

As a recovering perfectionist I learned how to receive compliments and let go of doubt, low self-esteem and the constant need to be perfect in just a moment.

I was attending a Gurdjieff (Spiritual) School in the early 1980s. We were organized into groups for the first semester based on type. I was in a group of individualists who were creative, inventive loners, not playing well with others and had a cynical / angry / awkward edge to each of us. Our team / cooperation skills weren’t very good and so we were assigned to repair a truck gather wood while other groups worked on construction projects – finishing a greenhouse and building a loafing shed, and working on building a house. Our lack of teamwork and inexperience became evident when cooking a dinner. Our first dinner cooked by the ten of us for ourselves and 30 other students was a disaster. The appointed manager didn’t know what he was doing. But we improved.

After Thanksgiving I was manager for a meal. A woman from a group that made the best dinners approached me just before an evening class and congratulated me on doing a good job. I started to say that it could have been better (or perfect). Her reaction to my self deprecation was disappointment. In that moment I felt her praise, took it into my heart, looked her in the eyes and said:

                                                   Thank-you.



I saw that she was warmed by my acceptance of her compliment. This demonstrated an important principle of energy exchange.
It demonstrated a cycle of giving and receiving. When we work to accept a compliment in a heartfelt way we allow ourselves to receive a gift from another. When we say: “Thank-you” and look the person giving the compliment in the eyes we honor that person and acknowledge their gift with tender loving kindness. They gave us a compliment from a place of love and we have returned that compliment in kind. Giving and receiving is not a closed loop, it opens and allows energy to build.
The logical end of giving and receiving is a new economy based on community, cooperation where all are included…

A Quick No-Think Grounding Method

imagesHere’s a quick way to get grounded and centered in the body quickly:

  1. Go into your kitchen or a place where there is a firm counter-top.
  2. Stand facing about a foot to six inches away from the counter-top.
  3. Put your finger-tips underneath the lip of the counter-top (below the molding).
  4. Focus your attention on your feet as you pull up with your finger-tips under the counter-top.

 

Notice the isometric tension in your body.

 

Do you feel in your body, grounded and centered?

Why NOT go to a Psychic?

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Originally published on April 6, 2010 – now with updates

Context:

As technology and social change have accelerated beginning in the 1980s humans have resisted these changes and seek reassurances from psychics and other spiritual gurus that “I am going to be okay.”

In 1992 the frequency of the planet changed and the way of the patriarchy died and something new was born. No one knows exactly what the new energy is like or how it will manifest. Our proclivity as humans is to remain the same until whatever new future is deemed “safe”. The patriarchy is hanging on – one need only look at the election of Donald Trump to see a desire to return to simpler times while in denial of a complex world.

 

When one asks a psychic about one’s future there are a number of underlying assumptions we’d all like to be true:

 

  1. There is a future that can be nailed where anxiety and fears are removed, then I can know I am safe and happy.                                                                                                        ~ one possible solution: breathe through anxiousness and face fears as a way towards mastery. When we put off safety and happiness in the future we are always chasing it rather than acknowledging we may already feel safe and happy because we decided.

 

  1. I give up my power to the psychic (a parent-figure perhaps?) instead of co-creating my future with spirit.                                                                                                                         ~ one possible solution – breathe and be your own psychic – perhaps through meditation

 

  1. I believe that some “thing” in my future will make me be okay.                                             ~ see possible solution in #1

 

  1. There is something wrong (or I am bored) with me in the present – I am incomplete.      ~ one possible solution – perhaps peace is the flip side of boredom? The present is all there is. Decide you are complete, peaceful and there is nothing wrong with you.

 

  1. The content of my life (what my ego identifies with) is what makes me happy. Things and having allow me to feel secure and owning happiness – “I am in-control.”                                                                                                                                                  ~ one possible solution – begin with a gratefulness practice. How are you happy right now? Make a list or just contemplate this.

 

  1. I have forgotten what real happiness is (like when I was a kid) and have traded my happiness for “I’ll be happy when I have…” thus confusing content for being (an other way of stating number 4).

 

  1. I believe “magic” can make things happen and I don’t have to work for it.                          ~ one possible solution — making a space for unplanned events to unfold while cultivating your intuition can open doors to “magic”. Intuition may be a “spotty” thing, but without a practice to exercise intuition the the logic of daily life fills up everything and where’s the fun in that?

 

Anyone with intuition can see your expectations and tell you the logical conclusion to them – thus posing as a psychic and maybe doing a good job of it.

Life is 99% hard work and maybe 1% miracles or good luck. There are many factors in manifesting the content or things of our lives. Remembering that we are already happy can be increasingly difficult because we have forgotten how to play like children and have heaped personal, family and society beliefs on our plate and forgotten how happy we once were.

Once I began cultivating being within myself working towards “the future” became easier knowing that whatever happens to be “I am okay” inside.

Effective Manifestation – an example – bringing in a life partner

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– Making Full Use of Affirmations

The chief problem with affirmation effectiveness comes from both an illusory notion that our minds are all-powerful and a disconnection from other parts of our selves.

 We forget that we have emotions and an emotional center.

We forget we have a physical body.

 Okay, we don’t really forget these parts of ourselves we assume that these two other centers in us are part of that affirmation without acknowledging their true importance. As a result of this assumption we draw our emotions and our physical presence from an automatic or mechanic place so that the power of these centers may be greatly reduced.

In a workshop I give on Mastery, we work with affirmations from a Full-Bodied Manifestation perspective can lead to greater results. I invite you experiment with contacting the center of emotions, your heart and the center of the physical body or moving center – the second chakra and incorporating the energies from these centers in your affirmations.

Get a special notebook that you will use for your affirmations and a pen that you will only use to write your affirmations. Write in the morning when you wake and/or at night before going to sleep. Here is an affirmation for bringing in a lover or life-partner in conjunction with writing a brief profile or vision statement on your prospective lover / partner and how you are in relationship with this person:

I, your First and Last name, am in a loving relationship with (the man, woman or being) of my visions and/or profile.

I, First and Last Name, deserve to be in this relationship.

I, First and Last Name, am creating opportunities for us to meet.

_______

You, First and Last name, are in a loving relationship with (the man or woman) of your visions and/or profile.

You, First and Last Name, deserve to be in this relationship.

You, First and Last Name, are creating opportunities for the two of you to meet.

_______

She or He, First and Last name, are in a loving relationship with (the man or woman) of his/her visions and/or profile.

She or He, First and Last Name, deserve to be in this relationship.

She or He, First and Last Name, are creating opportunities for the two of them to meet.

 

 

Forming a Grid to Enhance/Protect a Space

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FORMING GRIDS – Gridding a space is easy and useful for empowering a space / property for sale or for protection or…

A real estate owner contacted me about a commercial property that he had had difficulty-keeping tenants.

Could I fix it? The property was part of a building at one end that was visibly and energetically invisible from the street. I gridded the entire building with crystals, and I put a large crystal near the building. The owner who hired me rented it one week after I did the work (in 2005) and the tenet thrives to this day.

Gridding:

Gridding a space stabilizes a space and may act as a beacon to attract whatever energy you put into the crystals. If the building, room or property is square or rectangular you’ll need four clear quartz crystals, points facing up at each of the four corners of the room, building or property. If the space is not rectangular you will need more crystals.

  1. Once you’ve selected the crystals they of whatever size you choose (they can be quite small), place them in a bowl of table or sea salt with the points facing down. This is to cleanse the crystals. Leave them there for four hours.
  1. Do a short meditation to select the four crystals then place them in the four corners of your space. Set you intention and put it into your space.
  1. Go to the approximate center the space and sit in a chair close your eyes and feel / see if the space is balanced. If it is great you’re done. If not, see if you can balance yourself. If not contact me and I will assist you.

Forget New Year’s Resolutions

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Actually forget resolutions all together. Who needs a resolution when you have a solution?

—  — — — — — — ——  — — — — — — — — — — — — — —  — — — ——  — — ——  — — — — — Of course the word resolute has a meaning that is different than solution:

determined, purposeful, resolved, adamant, single-minded, firm, unswerving, unwavering, steadfast, staunch, stalwart, unfaltering, unhesitating, persistent, indefatigable, tenacious, strong-willed, unshakable

And used in a sentence: He had been an early and resolute opponent of fascism. – from a dictionary.

— — — — — — — — — — — — —  — — — —— — — — — — — — — — — — — —

But to be a slave of a linear time based reality – example – the Gregorian Calendar. Let’s face it – time as we know it is an invention and language too. We are bound by the constructs of linear time. Grammar, sentences and words are symbols of reality and time is a convenient construct used to manage our daily lives. All sentences have a beginning, a middle and an end. Linear time is this way too.

We could choose another calendar system to base our resolutions on. The Gregorian Calendar isn’t particularly connected to a natural cycle as is a lunar calendar or the Mayan or Toltec calendars appear to be.

But why do we need resolutions anyway and who in us makes them and then breaks them later? Where does our resolve go?

  1. We resolve to make a change based on a calendar that was a course correction on a flawed Julian Calendar (inventing leap year every 4 years to make the correction) Also when the Gregorian Calendar started Pope Gregory XIII and his commission suspended the calendar and had 15 non-days or dates before restarting the dates. Maybe the anniversary of our birth may be a better day to make a resolution or a promise to ourselves.
  2. Before making restarting “a promise” to ourselves on January 1st we could look to see if we are living up to the philosophy of our own life. A friend of mine in a college doctoral program did a study on 6th graders – those children about 11 years old, asking them about their philosophy of life – the rules they aspired to and were they living up to those rules? Most were not. When I first outlined my philosophy of life in 1979 at the suggestion of What Color is Your Parachute by Richard Bolles. It spurred me to get work and transform the path of my life. The three principles of my philosophy at that time were:

– To be a student and teacher everyday

– To live from my heart

– To live as if each moment were my last

The first two I aspire to realizing that learning is a part of life and one cannot always be in one’s heart with the amount of suffering that is all around. I dropped the last one.

  1. I have come to see that the part in me that makes a promise (or a resolution) is not the same part in me that breaks the promise. The “I” that makes the promise may or may not be aware of the part that breaks the promise. The “I” the breaks the promise is often not aware of the promise-maker because that “I” is child-like and acting on whim. Better to understand our entire “Beingness” before making and breaking promises and then another part, another “I” feels guilty and gets into blaming and shaming ourselves.

 

On Pain and Suffering

I never knew what the long term effects of physical pain could bring until I experienced it myself. As a healer I have encountered many with physical pain as well as emotional, interdimensional and multidimensional pain and worked to help heal this. Acute pain is more easily healed than chronic pain and yet chronic pain can be healed as well – through alternative methods. The healing process for our lives is always evolving whether that pain be emotional, somatic, spiritual or combinations.

Pain and suffering if not visible is not readily acknowledged by people without pain and is sometimes dismissed as not real by people who are relatively pain free.

As a result and the nature of pain and inflammation tend to isolate those that are experiencing pain. The natural response of humans towards pain is the avoidance of pain. When pain is severe enough the avoidance of pain is part of our survival of it. Pain management whether by supplements, medications, surgery, stem-cell treatments, physical therapy or alternative healing techniques begins to take up space and time in our consciousness and begin to limit mobility and tends to isolate those in pain.

Two reasons why people in pain isolate: the pain itself and the meta-response of others to pain.

When we see someone in pain whether that be physical, emotional, mental or spiritual there seems to be two responses: to move away or to move towards. The desire to help those in pain usually falls into two groups: fixing pain and bearing witness to pain.

Those that work to fix pain offer advice etc. Bearing witness to pain without doing anything to fix it does something to us and we connect to the other in pain. When we connect to another in pain via an emphatic response we share a small part of the other’s suffering. As we do this it reminds us of our own pain and suffering and the experience can be painful.

Those that turn away from suffering – especially those that encounter loved ones that “don’t get better” and harden their hearts making the suffering one a victim. The one in pain – a brother or a sister, mother, father, son or daughter, colleague etc., it’s somehow their fault they are not getting better. The denial of suffering is an easy way to feel safe an insulated from other’s suffering and pain and begin to establish an “us versus them” dynamic.

By softening and opening our hearts to others pain and suffering while acknowledging our own and bear witness we can begin to release it somewhat.

Home Remedies for Stiff or Sore Muscles

  1. You will need a sock – long tube socks or knee-highs are good.  If you are going to treat a larger area -like your back you may want to consider a pillow slip – and in this case its good to sew channels or baffles in the pillow slip to keep the uncooked rice or beans from bunching up.

 

  1. Uncooked rice, garbanzo beans, pinto beans or split peas or lentils are good.

 

Fill the sock or socks with the materials from #2. Remember to leave enough room so you can tie off the sock so the rice or beans won’t spill out. If you’re using a pillowslip sew the slip in advance and then fill with rice or beans, carefully fold it over before the next step.

Once your pillowslip or sock(s) are filled with uncooked rice, lentils, peas or beans and close off put them in the microwave oven and heat from 1 to 2 minutes. If your microwave is more powerful start with a lower time and work up…

If your neck is sore or tense put the sock underneath you neck as you sit in a chair or lie down on your bed.  Lay the pillowslip down flat on your bed and lie face up positioning your back on the heated pillow slip.

It helps.

September 14, 2015 original date of publication on the old blog