Northern California Wildfires – October 2017

I am struck by the stillness – feelings of people hunkering down and lost. I felt the sadness and fears of others and I felt my own fears and sadness. I felt a stillness and silence within me and in my surrounding space – it felt good and cosmic in my core surrounded by loss.

Then there is the power of the fire – to consume and how frail I am in the face of it. I am humbled by the power of nature, the impermanence of life. I feel my attachment to it and my attachment to my stuff.

 I drove to the store in the smoke this evening (10/9/17).

 The first feelings of the stillness feels good and then it is immediately followed by shock, loss, grief and fears. Soot falls like bizarre snowflakes in the day and at night. By day soot is snow-like and at night it could be mistaken for mist.

At the supermarket people seemed slowly rushed and disembodied as if somnambulates wandering in shock on short forays for survival.

And the fires burn on…

 

Over 100 wildfires are still burning and firefighters first priorities have been to rescue people and then work on containment.

 

 

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“I Made a Mistake, I Apologize.”

FullNewMoon

In April of 1983 I was living at Eden Square Apartments in midtown Stockton, California. Parking was on the street. I had moved there in November of 1983.  I had moved to the Big Valley in 1982 from the east coast where I was unfamiliar with the kind of parking described below.

I parked on East Acacia – a side street. The front entrance was on El Dorado around the corner.

A guy started shouting at me and pointing at the street. At first I paid him no heed and continued to walk away.

“Hey you, Guy! You parked wrong.” He was yelling at me.

I stopped and looked at him.

       “What?”

He jabbed his arm / finger towards my car and shouted:

“You parked wrong.”

“Its how I always park,” and started to walk away.

“You see those lines painted on the street?”

“What?”

He pointed to the lines painted on the street. I looked.

“They’re there for a reason, buddy,” he was boiling mad.

The lines on the street were like a grid.

Duh, I got it.

 

 “Sorry, didn’t see it. Didn’t think to look. I’m sorry. I’ll move my car.” I got in and moved the car to in-between the lines.

 

            This guy was suddenly my best friend. Immediately his mouth dropped. He invited me to join him at Gold’s Gym- below my apartment building. I respectfully declined.

            He shook my hand and thanked me.

 

 

 

Dealing with Acute Physical Pain

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Originally Published: April 25, 2010

 

Acute pain is the body’s way of healing.

When an injury occurs our natural response to pain is to recoil and resist. One time I remember loosing my footing and twisting my ankle. My initial reaction was to tense up against the pain, but then I remembered something else. I sat down, relaxed my ankle breathed into and released the pain. There was no pain or swelling, just some tenderness that went away with walking.

Another time I was doing a wah-wah on my fingers where I had touched a hot light bulb without thinking. Then I remembered – duh – I can heal this. I went into the pain and released it outside my body – there was no burn, no blister and no redness.

When our bodies produce acute pain and inflammation in response to an injury the self-heal of the body is working. We can assist that process in a number of ways one that I have already described above.

 

  • Anti-inflammatories such as ibuprofen and other pills are useful – so take them in addition to alternate techniques.

 

  • Sending cold to the effected area can numb the pain.

 

  • I recommend venting the pain/heat and bringing in a kind of cooling purple gel like a purple-jello to soothe the effected area. This can reduce and /or eliminate the pain all together or reduce it.

 

  • Sometimes the pain can be lifted from the body and then floats in the auric field.

 

Chronic pain is another story.

Negative Emotions – part one of two

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What is the function of negative emotions? Why do we have them?

The seven deadly sins not withstanding negative emotions originate from our earliest beginnings and are built for our biological survival from immediate danger.

The seven deadly sins – put forth by the theology of the Roman Catholic Church are immersed in judgment and morality, but worth a look:

  • Pride (pride is a good emotion when not excessively indulged in creating hubris) Hubris is excessive pride where the “prideful” person is often divorced from reality and has an overly confident stance
  • Greed – a desire to possess more than one needs and seems to be addictive (greed for money – excessive wealth, power, status or the acquisition of things)
  • Lust – excessive desire for an experience or thing, mostly lust for sex, but could also be lust for power, another addictive emotion.
  • Envy – a desire to have what another has which can destroy the person experiencing this emotion due to possessiveness / greed (also addictive)
  • Gluttony – over indulgence in food and drink (also addictive)
  • Wrath – or anger / rage and when accompanied with violence is a volatile emotion (also can be addictive)
  • Sloth – laziness or apathy related to depressive emotions.

The Seven Deadly Sins or Negative Emotions particularly greed, lust, envy, gluttony, hubris and wrath appear to arise out of addictive emotional / somatic elements that are substitutes for the lack of love and the bond of love needed for children. Sloth may arise from depressive emotions.

It would appear that hubris, greed, excessive lust, wrath and envy are extremely addictive emotions that arise from maladaptive behaviors within society and whose basis derives from avoiding fears.

Part of the purpose emotions involves how humans become attached to life on earth. This process may be likened to an attachment, an identification and / or addiction to the experiences of life. More on the function of emotions in an evolutionary process in Part Two.

I think its safe to say that we as humans have experienced one or more the seven deadly negative emotions at some point in our lives.

If someone tells you your having negative emotions then they are putting judgments on you and shaming you for emotions that are common to us all. But wait – what they are really doing is judging you for expressing so-called “negative” emotions in an ineffective manner that is often called “acting-out”. Negative emotions expressed negatively are quite common because we have little to no emotional education and may be furthering the cause of make negative emotions increasingly negative.

~

Many people of “new age” view negative emotions as unwanted and bad. These emotions must be expunged or eradicated and replaced by positive feelings through affirmations, meditation etc. They often believe that the ego is bad and is associated with negative emotions and that the divine self or egoless self promotes only positive emotions. When the “negative emotions” are cut loose then a belief develops that the ego is functioning on an increasingly positive vector. This “cutting loose” of negative emotions may be an illusion based on a belief that the power of the mind (over matter) – over negative emotions when the emotion may have gone underground through denial, repression or suppression. This “new age” line of reasoning is based on many faulty assumptions that will be explored in part two.

Negative emotions may produce a fight or flight response. When no immediate danger is present then the acting-out expression of negative emotions often repel others. Negative emotions are not always wanted and sometimes abhorred. Many a time I have heard clients and acquaintances say: “I want to get rid of this feeling.” This kind of thinking is based both on a desire to focus only on positive emotions and avoid negative ones and a basic flaw in our emotional education albeit informal. A misunderstanding of the functions of all emotions, positive, negative, mixed feelings and neutral feelings creates a stigma around negative emotions. The result is a misunderstanding of the function of negative emotions and a disservice to our growth and evolution.

There is a unspoken bias in our civilization that emotional states are divided into two groups so feelings can be reduced to the simplest terms for understanding. However this creates a trap so that negative emotions are seldom addressed effectively.

Some values of Negative and Positive Emotions

negative

positive

unwanted wanted
unpleasant pleasant
shunned exalted

Emotions, especially negative emotions are usually expressed through stories especially amongst those of with no formal emotional education. Storytelling usually serves the function of describing the emotion without naming it and it justifies the storyteller in feeling a certain way adding morality such as I am right for feeling this way and it implies that the other person is “wrong” for feeling another way in the context of the story. In stories emotions are not left to stand on their own. Morality, judgments, rationalizations and justifications are attached to emotional states in an attempt to make one person better than another, the other being “the cause” of the emotional state – often negative.

Venting is a common storytelling morality play that serves in keeping the venter stuck in feeling and recycling the negative emotion as part of a cognitive belief.

Often it is through venting with / to another (or with our self) that many negative emotions become apparent and may be released however this is not so often the case. Venting doesn’t solve the source of the negative emotion it only lets it out to air. The underlying dysfunction from the past remains unsolved and venting begins again. This can take a variety of forms. Complaining is one kind of rift that is a kind of venting filled with storytelling ripe with frustrations, self-reproach and self-pity. I had a friend that would seek me out to vent about her relationship and ask for advice. She would paint herself as a victim: feel guilty, self-pitying and frustrated. She would ask for advice and I offered advice. Rinse-repeat. She never followed my advice. For a while I just listened. She repeatedly asked me what she should do. Finally I told her – I didn’t know and that I couldn’t help her and that she could seek therapy.

Repeated venting is often a rational justification for negative feelings through storytelling. Often the emotion is not expressed directly. The story has to do what the person has done and what was done to the person and a justification of righteousness. Repeated venting becomes an addiction. The justification for being right is separate from feelings (cognitive dissonance) and keeps the venter from taking action thus keeping people in the place of venting. This is especially true with regard to anger and rage. The emotion inflates the self of self and is linked to thinking of being right. When an injustice becomes evident many of like-mind become angry and the venting begins. Becoming angry / rageful over a perceived injustice may often be warranted and the anger may be an acting out that does not achieve justice. Venting is the result. Many of the group doesn’t take action or if they do there is no immediate result so more venting is warranted. When venting recycles enough it becomes addictive and no actionable results are produced.

Anger and/or rage may be the one negative emotion that may be wanted because it fuels righteousness and a sense of power over others and can be very addictive and abusive. Historically anger comes from the fight principle in defending the self from immediate danger. In our daily social politics those that display anger and / or rage do so from “acting-out” behaviors that may be adult tantrums that are refined or unrefined. Seldom I have seen anyone arousing anger in them selves as an effective emotion. Those that are acting-out their angers are impossible to avoid unless we run from them. Intervening with someone who is acting-out anger or rage is potentially dangerous due to the possibility of violence.

My father enjoyed baiting me into arguments so he could dominate me with his premises and make me bad, wrong and stupid. During the Vietnam war I constantly argued with him. I asked my lover during that time to assist me with the debate.

I said: “I feel all war, all killing is wrong.”

He said: “We have to defend our allies against the Commies.”

She said: “A feeling is a feeling. Its not right or wrong, it just is.”

From that point on I was able to diffuse all of my Father’s attacks (unless he had been drinking) by identifying his premise and either disagreeing with it or ask him if he meant to hurt my feelings with his argument.

This curtailed his yelling at me that I was bad wrong or stupid and we engaged in playful joking or conversations about the weather.

Many of us have been trained to believe that others are responsible for our emotional state. “You make me so mad,” and other similar statements allow us to remain children without power. Certainly our emotions may be triggered to arise from the unpleasant manifestations of others.

Don Miguel Ruiz’s The Four Agreements speaks to others emotions and judgments. The second agreement:

Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

 

An honest approach to emotional expression may look something like this:

“I feel angry right now and I realize this is in no way your fault. I was triggered when you did such and such. If you’d like to assist me in processing my feeling that’s okay. Otherwise I’ll just sit with the feeling myself.”

Obviously this is ideal. When we come from environments where acting-out negative emotions and behaviors are modeled its difficult to make a transition to taking responsibility for or emotions.

In Part Two the function and necessity of negative emotions are discussed as a part of the way towards mastery.

Changing the Weather (a hurricane)

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Choices

Using a body-mind-emotion based force the course of Hurricane Irma could change.

In the 1990s I lived on a mountain about 1200 feet high. Using my magnetic energy linked with the mountain I worked to influence weather patterns to keep the coastal fog at bay and at the same time keeping the temperature in a moderate range.

I stopped. I stopped because: “What right did I have to interfere with Earth’s weather patterns?”

Action

That having been written I decided to work on diverting Irma out to sea by first strengthening Highs, high-pressure systems. My karma increasing due to meddling in the weather or maybe I’m (was) delusional.

Visualizing hurricane Irma spinning away from the east coast of the USA and away from landmasses all together is just fantasy make-believe without a full-bodied visualization.

Start by grounding: https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2016/10/13/a-grounding-exercise-practice/

And visualizing: https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2016/12/01/visualization-manifestation-an-introduction/

Ground by visualizing and feeling our connection to Earth. As you bring energies up from Earth allow your body to become a resonant electromagnetic EM force. Combine emotion with that by activating your heart chakra (see links above). See the EM resonant force centered in your 2nd chakra (3 fingers below your naval)/ Open your third eye (your visualization center), blend energies of your heart chakra and your 2nd chakra with your third eye. This is what I do.

Some steps:

  1. Strengthen the high-pressure systems.
  2. See the storm from space and see it veering off north away from the land mass
  3. Go into the storm and spin the direction away from the land mass
  4. From inside and from orbit see the storm weakening and spinning itself out.

Those skilled in interdimensional work can use the higher dimensional structures to help dismantle the storm’s power or shunt it in a different direction,

Here’s an interesting update:

The interdimensional matrix to diffuse and move the path of the storm continues to fall apart and reassemble itself – 9:35 am PDT

Home

4-magicThe duck pond on the Sonoma Plaza 🙂

 

On an early Sunday morning in February of 1983 my best friend Kent and I went to Sonoma and the Valley of the Moon.

I had moved to the Stockton area in 1982 to live and work with Bhante – the Dharmawara Mahathera and learn Vipassana Meditation in greater depth. However I rebelled against being a devotee – something he had wanted (not me) and moved out.

Hanging out at the Blackwater Café in Stockton I came to know Kent. We became good friends. He introduced me to the magic of Sonoma.

His introduction was replete with great wisdom and insight.

I am eternally grateful to him for opening the door to my home.

We left around 6 am in the dusk of a cold morning on that February. He drove his van with his dog and me across the delta towards Sonoma. He had a knack for introducing me to the magic of Sonoma and the Valley of the Moon with his mythic-poetic musings peppered into our conversations.

We missed Bill at perform with his guitar at the church. We met Bill and his wife Shirley at the First Congregational Church on West Spain Street in Sonoma at the tail end of the 7 am Service. Then Kent drove us to their cabin near the top of Moon Mountain Drive in Sonoma. We ate brunch and talked.

My third eye opened wide upon entry into the Sonoma Valley.

Kent and I took a short walk on the fire trail to the south of their house and he waxed on about castles in Europe appearing out of the fog – such as the fog in the valley.

Something quite unexpected had happened that day. I digress – that for the past 18 months I had been doing an inner exercise – a meditation in the morning to create light for the “soul’s body” and open the 3rd eye. My third eye opened wide upon entry into the Sonoma Valley.

I felt the town welcomed me, just as Mount Diablo “spoke” to me about becoming a healer. Of course the impressions didn’t come in English but I translated them into language for a better understanding. At first I explained the opening of my Third Eye by all the spiritual work that was done by others in the valley.

Many years after another answer came to me in a softer manner. It was the land herself, the configuration of the Valley of the Moon and the power center (the Plaza) of Sonoma Valley that has been a source of mystery and powerful transformation. I believe the way in which Kent introduced me to Sonoma and the Valley was replete with great wisdom and insight. I am eternally grateful to him for opening the door to my home.

Towards the end of this Field of Dreams film clip Burt Lancaster’s character Doc Graham makes a powerful statement about “home”. This is how it is for me in Sonoma.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCNp_jl5m6c

PS I give workshops/individual sessions in some of the magical places in Sonoma http://the-kai.com

 

Learning for The Sake of Learning

 

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Neptune- dreams and visions made

A tribute to one of my earliest mentors and good friend John White.

When we entered his classroom he wrote “Learn for the sake of learning” on the blackboard and he fostered an insatiable quest for life-=long learning that is on going.

He was hired at Cheshire High School in 1965 and fired when I was a senior in 1969. He was my sophomore and junior English Teacher and he recommended me for an honors fiction class – Themes in Modern Fiction. He was fired when I was a senior. He counseled classmates who were taking acid trips and refused to turn them over to the principle. In turn the principle was planning to turn the names over to the police so arrests could be made.

After I graduated John and I became friends. He helped me through some very rough times in the early seventies.

John published an anthology called: The Highest State of Consciousness. We talked at length about consciousness and about using drugs like LSD for spiritual awakenings. We discussed meditation and altered states. He listened as I relayed two experiences I had had about feeling Earth as One and all beings as beings of light. John spent time in Palo Alto California helping Astronaut Edgar Mitchell organize the Institute for Noetic Sciences. When I was a senior in college representing the Psychology Honors Fraternity I put together a three-day symposium entitled Higher States of Consciousness. John was instrumental in connecting me with the key players like: Robert Ornstein, Charles Tart and other consciousness researchers for a three day symposium on Higher Consciousness hosted at Clark University where I was a student and faculty and students were invited from Holy Cross and Assumption College.

While in California he was an agent for a non-fiction book that never sold. He retired from being an agent just as I was about to put a new book out to market. He advised self-publication through Amazon or a similar venue.

for more on John W. White:

http://prabook.com/web/person-view.html?profileId=358582#

 

 

The Solar Eclipse – some personal notes

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Coastal fog obscured what would have been a partial solar eclipse in the wine country of Northern California.

I meditated instead.

I felt a profound peace coming from how the event pulled everyone together. I felt a collective sadness.

I felt a physical realignment to Earth’s core and a reconfiguration on my 2nd chakra, birth chakra and solar plexus.

I felt peace in my heart the the burdens of sadness, although I was not identified with this sadness.  It was there and I was witness to it.