A Search through Dreams

as11-44-6667

 

In late September of 1990 I called out to the Spirit World to guide me to a new place to live. I worked through my network while searching for a new place to live. The house I was sharing with two housemates had become intolerable due to addiction issues with one housemate and the co-dependence of the other.

We found a peace school

I asked for a dream to guide me:

I dreamt that I was traveling with a friend from the Sonoma Valley to Napa Valley on a secret road that paralleled Trinity Road and Dry Creek Road into Napa County. We found a peace school and a few others secret places where I felt drawn to on a heart level.

Iris at a church service recommended Jim Hallock who as it turned out at purchased her old house on Trinity Road in Glen Ellen about 1,000 feet above the valley. He had an unlisted phone number. Iris gave me the address and I wrote him a letter.

He called me. I went and looked at the small apartment beneath his house. I brought deposit cash with me. He told me that just before he picked up the mail his tenant gave notice that he was moving out. Jim was delighted with the synchronicity. I offered him deposit dollars and he said:

“No, I take you at your word.”

I moved in on November 1, 1990. A few months Jim told me he was lowering my rent because he liked me.

We became good friends and we played Ping-Pong often.

In 1998 Jim sold the house to Klaus. He moved to Colorado with his wife Nora and began building houses with an adobe brick making machine.* Klaus gave me 6 months notice because he liked me and wanted to remain friends with Jim

In July of 2000 when Klaus gave me notice ( 6 months) I asked for a dream and I did a vision quest for a new place.

I moved out 10 years and 1 month later in December of 2000.

*Jim was invited by the State Department to go to Mexico to help rebuild after a major earthquake. He started a second business of building adobe homes in Mexico. After dealing with wealthy people in the US and Mexico with whom didn’t pay their debts he started a non-profit and one of his projects was building a clinic somewhere in Africa to treat children with HIV.

 

My next dream finding place was a house with a tall tree at the front of the house. The owner was a tall lanky man that bore a resemblance to Sam Shepard, the playwright and actor. I took the dream to a vision quest.

had forgotten about my dream

In the waking vision I saw a house surrounded by nature. The house itself may have been built in the 1930s or 40s. The kitchen was on the left side towards the back with a screened in porch on the right overlooking a field. There may have been a detached garage.

In the living room there was a fireplace or maybe one that was sealed up. The place had one or two bedrooms.

The Redwood in the front yard became my teacher.

A friend suggested an ad in the paper and she wrote the ad for me.

When I looked at the place I had forgotten about my dream. It was within the city limits of Sonoma and was on a half-acre of land, a big field with a few tall trees. I walked through the backyard and saw that the TV antenna had fallen over since my arrival. That triggered me to remember the dream. The lawyer – landlord did resemble an older Sam Shepard. The layout of the house was dyslexic and there was no screened-in porch in the back.

I took the place.

 

The Redwood in the front yard of about 65 feet tall became a teacher.

https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2015/12/17/journey-with-a-spirit-guide-the-redwood-tree/

 

A Short Story: Rump, Impeachment and the 2020 elections

wethepeople

America will need healing on a massive scale

Here is a short science-fiction story: Some time back I made a prediction based on visions that were revealed to me that Rump would leave office in June of 2019.

https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2017/12/01/vision-and-the-headline-reads/

Fact or Fiction?

Recently that changed and I saw him completing his term.

That lasted until today when I received new information that the impeachment process will begin on June 1, 2019. When it nears completion in August or September (or during its process) it’s likely that Rump will do one of the following:

  • Create or foment a crisis to sway the impeachment vote and invoke Marshall Law
  • Have a medical emergency and leave office
  • Leave office before the final vote but not resign
  • Resign and be pardoned by Tence
  • Arrange for an “accidental” death of a Senator
  • Be the first president to be impeached.

If Rump is nominated to be re-elected the impeachment process would be catastrophic to his re-election bid.

Nevertheless America will need healing on a massive scale.

What is Time?

loveflameEternity-copy2
Who am I?

 

Who are we?Purpledaywave

 

Who are we as humans?

images

 

What is between all our collective pasts and all our possible futures?

BeingTime*

 

Who are we as humans?

images

 

Who are we?

Purpledaywave

 

Who am I?

loveflameEternity-copy2

 


* a circle is a ring of time holding past and future. An incomplete circle as the one that appears here is a sign of the urge to complete being. Human Beings are defined by the limits of a corporeal form – a physical body subject to the classical laws of Newtonian Physics and yet Human Consciousness can transcend the body – thus the opening.

 

Composite Beings – Part Two

spacewave1spacewave1

The higher vibrational being (HVB) who enters may remain as an observer for a time before it produces a noticeable event in the child’s or adolescent’s life. Fractured or alternative personalities already exist within the host due to traumatic events that are often on going. A DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder) is a coping strategy that some individuals use to deal with extremely impactful traumatic wounds. HVBs are attracted to those suffering from DIDs and look for ways to mesh with the wounded individuals that provide a modicum of strength, protection and may be utilized for aspects of integration in a therapeutic healing process.

Self-acceptance is very important in the healing process.

Just as traumatic events produce fractured wounds and decimate the individual into separate personalities to manage aspects of the trauma the Higher Vibrational Being seeks to augment managing personality parts with positive past, current and parallel realities and lives to support the individual in a wider context. Once the individual begins to incorporate the HVB neuronal patterns, and experiential fragments of the wider context then a cognitive frame can be created with the original organizing self for more effective administration of the wounded personalities for healing.

the HVB may produce synchronistic events that appear “magical” or have extrasensory phenomena

The HVB and the various fragmented parts can come together more quickly and can either be reintegrated into a healing self or co-exist cooperatively with one another. Self-acceptance is very important in the healing process. Finding a therapist and /or a shaman-interdimensional healer who works towards unconditional acceptance of the DID / HVB synergy is extremely important for healing and for future work. [NOTE: not all DID individuals have a HVB entree]. The shaman and/or interdimensional healer can offer a community for the wounded individual with a HVB to be accepted into gracefully.

It’s also possible and likely that the wounded individual will not notice the HVB until the individual has worked towards reintegration and /or a peace cooperation or coexistence between the alternate personalities. When recognition occurs there has been enough work to raise the vibration of the individual as well as integration between the HVB and at least one of the conscious core selves.

Awareness of a high vibration being is a tricky affair.

 Until the time of recognition the HVB may produce synchronistic events that appear “magical” or have extrasensory phenomena associated with an incident or incidents. The presence of an HVB within a person with a dissociative identity disorder or fractured selves does not necessarily guarantee automatic healing. Therapeutic work on a psychological level must occur as well as somatic treatments and inner work as in a spiritual practice or some semblance thereof.

Awareness of a high vibration being is a tricky affair. If the HVB reveals itself before a context has been established and the ego of the host is not strong enough to handle the impact the individual may be prematurely diagnosed with additional psychiatric disorders such as schizophrenia. Medication could destroy the host’s identity as well as extremely hinder the effectiveness of the HVB to carry out its mission.

[NOTE: Amalgamated Beings are several HVBs fused together that take human form bypassing indigenous humans in the reincarnation process.]

Composite Beings – Part One

spacewave1

A number of years ago in the 1980s the term “walk-in” gained popularity especially with new age thinkers. Ruth Montgomery first coined it in a book published in 1979: Strangers Among Us [1].

peaceful co-existence between the dissociative parts and personalities or a hunger for integration.

Walk-Ins were high vibrational beings who replaced “souls” that wanted to leave due to personal trauma [1]. Later in the 1980s and 90s the walk-in name was expanded to include a permanent or temporary stay by the higher vibrational being and/or sharing knowledge with the individual host [2].

Composite Beings have been with us before our current written history

However when knowledge and experience are shared between the original host and the higher vibrational being there is a blending. This is a Composite Being. Usually the single “walk-in” experience was obscured or cloistered from the host for many years until an urge for healing becomes oriented towards either peaceful co-existence between the dissociative parts and personalities or a hunger for integration.

Composite Beings have been with us before our current written history and occur for a variety of opposing reasons:

The Host (receptive vessel):

  • Is an old soul in the cycle of reincarnation
  • Has had single or numerous severe traumatic events and/or losses in childhood or adolescence
  • Has responded to trauma with a Dissociative Personality Disorder strategy over time
  • In the multiple dissociative states including Alternate Personalities there is a great longing for unification and/or peace and balance.

 

A Higher Vibrational Being (active vessel):

  • The Higher Vibrational Being is an older soul than the host
  • Has a karma/dharma link with the receptive vessel or host
  • Provides a unifying personality feature and strength of character needed by the host
  • The Higher Vibrational Being is on an active mission that allows healing to occur for the host while healing energies spill over to humanity at large directly and/or indirectly
  • The Higher Vibrational Being’s mission besides healing may extend to other areas.

 

The Neutral Vessel is Planet Earth.

 

Composite Beings are attracted to one another whether or not they are aware of the composite blending within themselves for the purpose of awakening and healing.

Once a fractured personality strategy is acknowledged in the conscious ego of the host where the Composite Being is acknowledged and recognized and healing begins other Composite Beings are attracted to one another on a higher vibrational level for the purpose of their missions.

When awakening begins to blossom within the Composite Being other Composite beings on the same or higher vibrational frequency are drawn to each other. The other Composite Beings are on a continuum of self-discovery where they may assist or be assisted by each other for the purpose of healing and fulfilling the individual and collective missions.

 

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walk-in

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walk-in

[2] http://www.crystalinks.com/walk_ins.html

 

The Luckiest of Days: Friday the 13th

as11-44-6667

Sacred Day: Friday April 13, 2018 at 13:13:13 GMT

History

The patriarch authority in the form of Christian monks demonized all Goddess worship in order to suppress and replace pagan rituals.

Friday or the Goddess Freya was called unlucky by the Christian authority because it was a day of the sacred female divinity. Friday the 13th was made to be unlucky because it was associated with the 13th month of the year in the Menstrual Calendar. [1]

In many religions Friday was (is) considered the 7th day of the week and is the most sacred day.

Fish was eaten on Fridays as a fertility right, which was later absorbed into a Christian ritual. [1]

The Church in Europe used the Julian calendar. Peasants used the Menstrual or Goddess-Given calendar. The Lunar calendar was 13 months of 28 days each, each week being 7 days. (13×28=364 plus 1) – was the Menstrual Calendar that conformed to the cycles or phases of the moon namely:

  • New
  • Waxing
  • Full
  • Waning

The Moon cycles correspond with a woman’s menstrual cycle thus the Menstrual Calendar. [2]

Chinese women established a lunar calendar about 3,000 years ago dividing the stellar sky into 28 “mansions” that the moon transversed. The Great Mayan calendar had first been based on “her menstrual cycles”. The word “mensis” is Latin for month, Greek, Middle English and High German – moon. [2]

No one knows – as in a documented sense where this suppression and demonization of woman / the Goddess arises. Astrologer Jeffery Wolf Green writes about the end of the matriarchy and beginnings of the patriarchy in his astrology books. The male rebellion against the Goddess appeared to contain the seeds of the hatred and repudiation of the feminine within a patriarchal dominated culture.

Green states (am I am summarizing and paraphrasing) that women believed that spirit – the divine worked through men to delivery the seed for children to come into the womb of women. Men were superfluous vessels for the seed to be carried. The seed or sperm did not originate with men it originated in the divine feminine and men were hollow vessels in service to the Goddess. The matriarchy raised children in a group setting, there was no family with a man as the leader. All property was held communally. There was no need for weapons of war, no armies, no defense against invaders because everyone lived this way for a few thousand years. [3]

Green states that men became increasingly angry over time and began to over throw female leadership in a violent acting-out manner of raping, pillaging and murder on a massive scale. [3]

What evolved out of that was the family. The man was the leader and the owner of woman and children. I would be remiss if I didn’t write about the legacy of anger that each man holds over women, other men and children as well as dominion over “the earth”.

Some men continue to act-out this anger in the context of the patriarchal system without any self-awareness. Other men have or are continuing to struggle to examine the legacy of anger and the anger within themselves to find a cause for it and work on resolving it responsibly as it arises.

Until more men can and do step forward individually and as a group to own the accountability and responsibility for crimes against the other outside their gender then the legacy of anger will continue. This hard-wiring of anger is oppositional to all the principles of the matriarchy and the divine-feminine.

  • The matriarchy held all life as sacred with horizontal leadership
  • The matriarchy held all property communally.
  • The matriarchy treats property with equal rights and equal access.
  • The matriarchy held earth as a sacred being of the divine

 

  • The patriarchy holds the yang principle as supreme with hierarchical leadership.
  • The patriarchy holds only the elite or upper class as property owners.
  • The patriarchy is entitled to subjugate and enslave lower classes as property
  • The patriarchy in its rebellion against the matriarchy treats earth as an object to be used and consumed in a hierarchical matrix

 

 

Friday 4/13/18 at 13:13:13 Universal Time (1:13 pm GMT London, England)

The Divine Feminine Numbers:

Friday as the 7th day of the week represents constant rapid change

Four represent a foundation to be built upon

13 – the 13 months of the lunar year or menstrual calendar

2018 – 2 + 0 + 1 + 8 = 11

11 is Justice and/or a master number for building the new.

 

The Tarot Numbers:

 

month – 4

date – 13

hour (in military time) – 13

minutes – 13

seconds – 13

last two digits of the year – 18

equals – 74

add – (20 – the beginning two numbers of 2018) 2 + 0 + 7+ 4

equals – 13

add 1 + 3 = 4

 

Major Arcana:

13 is Death or Transformation (the Divine Feminine Principle)

4 is The Emperor – a principle of growth through a foundation of conflict seeking resolution

 

 

Astrology:

[All degrees in the chart (see illustration) are rounded up one degree if the number – not in bold is 1 minute or greater.]

13-13

Patriarchal Authority is highlighted and exhaled in authoritarianism. It is poised for a yang-based transformation triggered by a revolution of self. Patriarchal authority continues to go through a cycles of death and rebirth and this same authority is transforming the divine feminine. Goddess energies are making spiritual and emotional connections to the world community. Goddess energies are most likely to reveal an abundance of secrets set to transform the world of authority aka the patriarch. Communications and thinking are likely to be intense and in conflict seeking resolution with authority.

1. The Woman’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets,  Barbara Walker “Friday” pg 325-326

2. The Woman’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets,  Barbara Walker “Menstrual Calendar” pg 645-648

3. Pluto: The Evolutionary Journey of the Soul, Volume 1, Jeffery Wolf Green

On Doing Nothing

IMG_3104

There’s a new app being touted on Facebook that produces a reaction in me. Its called Calm – “doing nothing for 15 seconds”. Now we need an app to facilitate meditation and “calm”. Having been a meditator for over 40 years I don’t need an app to assist me in entering into a meditative place. I realize many may need that assistance and that is okay and yet there is a danger in relying on a software application to introduce “a calm” state.

Doing nothing is an oxymoron.

There is an inherent illusion within the advertising of “Calm” – of doing nothing for 15 minutes. First there’s an illusion that it’s possible to “do nothing” (its an oxymoron). How do we define or describe the state of “doing nothing” The authors of the app may define it as the absence of outer motor activity or inner thinking: stop talking, walking, performing tasks, solving problems, thinking of the past or future etc. It would seem that any app touting a state of calm would introduce intermediary experiences and / or media to induce associations of calmness – videos of nature or photos of nature with audio that introduces sounds in nature that may produce a calming state as in rain, waves, surf or that which generates white noise. [Aside: White noise whether occurring naturally in sounds of nature such as in rain, waves, waterfalls, streams or artificially produced in static fuzz elicits calm, a pleasant diffusing state of the mind, and may block pain receptors in the brain.] Media that promotes calming experiences induces slower brain waves associated with peaceful states. Relying on an app can only take the person so far and may be a good introduction to relaxation of the body, mind, emotions and spirit. But can we really “do-nothing”?

We live in a “do-do” world of tasks etc.

Media is the go-between between the human and a deeper state of relaxation – a good first step…

In our “do-do” world of non-stop tasks there are layers of illusions between being and doing. Even in states of being there are always some conscious doings. Human beings cannot ever completely stop doing. There is only one exception to our “do-do” world where the effects of “nothing” could be experienced (abet indirectly). In the world of the autonomic nervous system in the human body there are countless “doing” tasks that fly under our radar. Breathing is one. Most of the time we are not aware that we are breathing. Dipping into the meditative space is a good example of bringing awareness to an autonomic function of breathing either through direct control or via the witness state of observation.

The authors of the Calm app are defining “nothing” as the absence of outer activity which includes social intercourse, and all the do-do stuff we do with our minds in managing our lives in various contexts: relationships, problem solving and the majority of thinking. As a long time meditator I know there is never a time where the mind or my being is doing nothing. My mind becomes quieter, and in the deepest of meditative states there is a release of the do-do world and emotions that elicits a sense of beingness.

Nothing is a word that symbolizes a mind blowing and/or a state of obliteration.

When I was a child my father would take my sister and I to church. To pass the time in the endless and meaningless rituals of kneeling, sitting and standing my mind would play games some of which were funny – at least to me.

There was one game I played which felt like flirting with insanity:

“If there wasn’t a me, what would there be?” Game.

If there wasn’t a me, what would there be? Think back to being a baby, imagine it. Being in the womb, being before the womb. It wasn’t just saying these incantations, it was imagining what these things would be like.

I’d reach of brink of not being able to conceive of anything (this a reductive description of a larger incomprehensible state and was the brink of non-sanity or insanity).

“Okay, bring yourself back. Its okay, you’re okay. I’m me. Calm down. Bring yourself back. Calm down I’m me, here in church with them.”

I never shared this experience with anybody until Honors English in my senior year in High School. A classmate said I was trying to experience “nothing”. He was right.

Giving a word to the experience destroyed its power. I had a word that was an intermediate. It was a symbol of the experience. All words symbolize our experiences for the purpose of sharing them and they are reductive.

Words destroy the larger mystery.

In my work as a shaman I would occasionally “take a trip to the void.” To take a trip to nowhere is a conundrum in and of itself.

I asked a friend who does similar work if she had ever been to the void.

 

“I go there all the time,” she said.

 

That was so surprising.

 

“What do you experience there?”

 

“God,” she said.

 

“I don’t think you went to the void,” I said.

 

“Why?” She asked.

 

“People that go there experience – nothing.”

 

The difficulty in writing about going to the void is ludicrous. There is preparation to go. Going. Returning and the effects.

 

Many shaman who “go there” return and some are catatonic as a result.

 

When “I” have gone there I lose myself, my sense of “I”. I really don’t know that I have been there because there’s no “I” to experience the void. I forget that I have been there, like a blackout.

The only reason I can deduce that I have been “there” is the effects I feel upon return. I feel that all of the superfluous parts or my ego have been stripped away. I feel clean of attachments for a short time. Hours or a day at most until “my stuff” returns. And there is a residual experience of having been cleansed.

Going to the void could be the closest experience of “nothingness” that I may have experienced. And I don’t know that I have.

Very funny and incredibly sacred simultaneously.

————————-

Text of the Facebook message regarding the Calm App. Apple’s App of the Year”

 

Doing nothing is impossible he saz throwing a wrench into it. Stop motor activity, okay – got it. But when the mind churns on – that’s not doing nothing. Focusing on peaceful scenes is not doing nothing. I suppose the closest one can get on doing nothing is meditation, focusing on the breath, letting go of thoughts, feelings as they arise. -But its not nothing. The only nothing is a shaman practice of “going” to the void (lol) where upon return from said “place” all that is superfluous is stripped away. Experiencing nothingness is egolessness and ineffable

The Demi-Date or Half (Shadow) Birthdate

FullNewMoonDemi-Day is your Half-Birthdate (Shadow Birthdate).

Add six months to your birthdate and Eureka –your Demi-Day. Demi means half in French. Demi Day is literally half-day and in this context Demi Day is Half-Birthday. I’ve been using it for years to assist those in celebrating the golden and dark shadows as a way to acknowledge “the other”. And our Demi-Days or Demi-Dates are good days to celebrate, have a party or go out to dinner while honoring the shadow.

My father was a diatriber with a vengeance and had to be right.

We’d like to think that we include all others in our lives, but really that’s impossible other than in a divine metaphysical manner. There are toxic others that we eliminate from our daily presence or “unfriend” on Facebook. Then we may have friends that have characteristics that we don’t like, find irritating, grating and/or annoying at times.

At one point in my life I was massively irritated around those that talked non-stop until I realized that I did this also, from time to time – also known as pontificating or the dreaded diatribe. My father was a diatriber with a vengeance and had to be right. When met with opposition after his diatribe (of righteousness) he would threaten or become combatively violent.

two gunslingers in a draw a shoot out in the street

A great assist in my understanding of the demi-day has been my study of astrology. People are often satisfied with a reading of the Natal (Birth) Chart – “Okay that’s who I am, wow,” or “I knew that.” As readers you probably know your Sun Sign. The sign opposite your Sun Sign is 6 months away. If your Sun Sign is Leo then your opposite is Aquarius and so on:

Taurus —————– Scorpio

Gemini —————- Sagittarius

Cancer —————- Capricorn

Leo ——————– Aquarius

Virgo —————– Pisces

Libra —————– Aries

Each opposite sign could be your golden shadow – all that your project on the other that is good and wonderful; or your dark shadow where the opposite sign becomes that which you shun because it represents all that is darkness and subterfuge. Yet opposites attract holds meaning. In astrological talk to many hard angles in relationship with the other (as in romance, marriage, business etc. – opposites, squares, inconjuncts (also called quincunxes) and sometimes conjuncts can mean the destruction of that relationship. Softer or more harmonious angles bring in the glue that binds relationships together (trines, sextiles and sometimes conjuncts).

Balancing oppositions may require a center, a neutral place within…

Opposites between planets in our own charts are the most difficult to deal with and if you reading this it means that you’re managing it. But what are opposites? The dictionary gives these choices: “diametrically different, an antagonistic position, contrary to one another or to a thing specified” * Another way of looking at the oppositional angle a 180 degree angle in Astrology is through enemies engaged in battle, lawyers arguing a court case or two gunslingers in a draw a shoot out in the street. The opposition is the most difficult to deal with both outside ourselves and in internal struggle. Balancing oppositions may require a center, a neutral place within and/or a witness self.

A Demi-Date Astrology Reading

Diplomats search for common ground between opposing parties when the energy for fighting and warring becomes less. The common ground could be a midpoint between the two views. In astrology this is the angle called a square – a 90-degree angle. This is still a conflict and yet it is a conflict that seeks continual resolution – a growth angle.

I am developing a Demi-Date Astrology reading to understand your shadow and help you develop a way to work with it through celebration and spiritual growth.

The and place of your birth determines your Ascendant or Rising Sign and then determines your house placement and what planets are in each house. The first house is the house of the self. The opposite house – the seventh house is the house of “the other” or the not self. This is another “place” of looking at an exploring shadow. And finally one could look at your Shadow-Return – the place the Sun returns to each year that is opposite your natal sun.

In the meantime find someone that you find irritating and hang with them and celebrate your annoying differences just for fun. Party on…

The 6 year old explanation of why Democracy Sucks

No2Tryanny

OR

BIG MONEY                                                       VERSUS                                   BEING BROKE


How it use to be:

One group said let’s save money, balance our checkbook, don’t owe money or pay interest and everybody being equal works hard and gets what they want. After that the common good gets addressed.

Another group says let’s take care of the common good first since not everybody is equal in practice, so we have to make rules to make things fair. People who have so much money they can’t begin to spend it all need to pay more into the common good treasure chest to make things better for everyone including themselves. When this happens everybody gets richer.

How it is now:

One group says there are slackers created by the other group giving stuff away for free. But let’s save money, balance our checkbook, don’t owe money or pay interest, but if we have to pay interest let’s make a ton of money from it at the expense of the slackers to balance everything out and everybody being equal works hard and gets what they want.  Our ideas of the common good are different from theirs. The other group is anti-American so they should be punished.

Another group says let’s take care of the common good first since not everybody is equal in practice so we have to make rules to things fair. People who have so much money they can’t begin to spend it need to pay more into the common good treasure chest to make things better for everyone including themselves. When this happens everybody gets richer. We have to be fair to the other group that makes us look bad because we ARE fair. And we don’t need to fight the other group in a down and dirty way because we’re better than that.

Each group used to serve all American People regardless of the amount of money they made. Now each group sold their souls to BIG MONEY so they pretend to support all Americans when they are not doing this. So nothing gets done for regular shmoes. Only “the right people” and Corporations and their BIG MONEY are rewarded. Everyone else is shafted.

My story of the movies…

VertexSmalldarkerDone-copy

newscopythe flow of the stuff in my head…

About the age of 15 or 16 my best friend Paul D. and I got together to make a movie. We wrote a script based on our goofy sense of humor and our favorite movies of Sean Connery as 007. Our character was James Notch 008 and ½ based on the Notch Store on the west side of Cheshire with a 67 page script maybe (it was a long time ago). It was a movie that never got made.

 

“Everybody knows they only make movies in Hollywood,”

classmates told us.

 

Coincidentally the Notch Store was the backdrop for the final scene in a film directed by Paul Newman called Rachel, Rachel in 1968 and was nominated for 4 Oscars including Best Picture (it didn’t win any Oscars).

I threw myself on the floor and rolled around. I moaned, I whined until she (my mom) agreed.

The next film that Paul and I filmed didn’t have a script. It was just visual ideas I had that I thought would look good strung together. It was a silent color film shot on a Double 8mm film made with a wind-up camera with three twists lenses and had variable shooting speeds. Back in the days of film – sound films were shot at 24 frames per second and silent films at 18 frames per second. Shoot at slower speeds and everyone would speed up. Shoot at faster speeds and slow-motion happens.

I convinced a girl down the street who was a year older than me to be in the film. She was the good guy with a white cowboy hat. I shot that first scene at sunset. The camera was on the ground, which meant I was on the ground too. She ran towards the camera hat on and she brandished the gun (an unloaded Luger my Father had as a souvenir from WWII) and jumped over me. She refused to be in the film after that. I even offered to pay her, but she said no. It was okay to use that footage she told me, mainly because she was in silhouette and no one could see her face.

After that I pleaded with my mom to be in the movie. I threw myself on the floor and rolled around. I moaned, I whined until she agreed. And she did. Phil B my best friend (the trio of nerdy guys – me, Paul and Phil) was the villain, though he looked like an innocent kid.

The Fordham’s Young Filmmakers Festival of 1968 in NYC

It was called: The Chase and it was awful. It was about 40 minutes too long. There were two special effects. My mom shoots at Phil and his black beret whips off his head. I used a fishing pole with some line. We shot all the scenes with my mom with slow film speeds so she looked like a lone Keystone Cop running in long shots that were way too long. And there was a car chase with one long POV (point of view) shot from the car, very boring.

The dying scenes were hilarious because my mom and Phil hammed it up.

Our art teacher suggested we send it to the Fordham’s Young Filmmakers Festival in NYC. We did and the only good thing about the movie was our entry into the festival. It was in 1968 in the winter during the first garbage strike. John Lindsay was major.

I learned so much about films and Paul and I had a good time – away from parents for a whole weekend. We saw a pre-screening of The Planet of The Apes with Charlton Heston.

When I returned I began studying film – Ingmar Bergman, Truffaut, Godard and American Film. I started a film club of watching great films and making small films, though we never got around to watching the great films.

I made one successful short film of 3 minutes made via pixilation or 3D animation (now CGI would be used). It was called King Chair. It made a $45 profit and was shown all over the world. When I asked my mom to be in subsequent movies she agreed if I was never to show her face.

I was thinking about going to go to New York University Film School and was toying with schools focusing on Creative Writing but my Guidance Counselor didn’t have the bravery to tell me that my SAT scores abysmally low. She brought me to the lounge of the other Guidance Counselors for their support in telling me. (Who was supporting me?). They basically said I was too stupid to get a BA and should settle for a BFA in film. I was angry and decided to let go of film school for a BA in English.

Writing pervaded my life.

I got side-tracked into psychology and ended up graduating from one of the top 20 universities in the US with a 3.2 cumulative average. I guess that proved I wasn’t stupid. I got a BA in Psychology with 2 Minors – one in English Literature and the other in Philosophy.

Writing pervaded my life. I tried going back into film in the mid to late 80s. I met Robert Altman who gave me an obscure window into his next film but I was too stupid to get it. (Maybe the guidance counselors were right – I was “too stupid”). His next film was The Player.

I’m still writing and doing my other work that I had surrendered into – as a healer. Being a healer/shaman/astrologer is something I have been doing formally since 1990. I have a fantasy novel that is being readied for publication – The Green Man of Destiny and I have been working on a series of 9 science-fiction novels.

Throughout it all I love stories and I love making-up and writing stories. I only wish I could transfer the images I see in my head to the reader’s head or the film goer, but I love the texture and wobble of words to send the images.