Composite Beings – Part One

spacewave1

A number of years ago in the 1980s the term “walk-in” gained popularity especially with new age thinkers. Ruth Montgomery first coined it in a book published in 1979: Strangers Among Us [1].

peaceful co-existence between the dissociative parts and personalities or a hunger for integration.

Walk-Ins were high vibrational beings who replaced “souls” that wanted to leave due to personal trauma [1]. Later in the 1980s and 90s the walk-in name was expanded to include a permanent or temporary stay by the higher vibrational being and/or sharing knowledge with the individual host [2].

Composite Beings have been with us before our current written history

However when knowledge and experience are shared between the original host and the higher vibrational being there is a blending. This is a Composite Being. Usually the single “walk-in” experience was obscured or cloistered from the host for many years until an urge for healing becomes oriented towards either peaceful co-existence between the dissociative parts and personalities or a hunger for integration.

Composite Beings have been with us before our current written history and occur for a variety of opposing reasons:

The Host (receptive vessel):

  • Is an old soul in the cycle of reincarnation
  • Has had single or numerous severe traumatic events and/or losses in childhood or adolescence
  • Has responded to trauma with a Dissociative Personality Disorder strategy over time
  • In the multiple dissociative states including Alternate Personalities there is a great longing for unification and/or peace and balance.

 

A Higher Vibrational Being (active vessel):

  • The Higher Vibrational Being is an older soul than the host
  • Has a karma/dharma link with the receptive vessel or host
  • Provides a unifying personality feature and strength of character needed by the host
  • The Higher Vibrational Being is on an active mission that allows healing to occur for the host while healing energies spill over to humanity at large directly and/or indirectly
  • The Higher Vibrational Being’s mission besides healing may extend to other areas.

 

The Neutral Vessel is Planet Earth.

 

Composite Beings are attracted to one another whether or not they are aware of the composite blending within themselves for the purpose of awakening and healing.

Once a fractured personality strategy is acknowledged in the conscious ego of the host where the Composite Being is acknowledged and recognized and healing begins other Composite Beings are attracted to one another on a higher vibrational level for the purpose of their missions.

When awakening begins to blossom within the Composite Being other Composite beings on the same or higher vibrational frequency are drawn to each other. The other Composite Beings are on a continuum of self-discovery where they may assist or be assisted by each other for the purpose of healing and fulfilling the individual and collective missions.

 

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walk-in

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walk-in

[2] http://www.crystalinks.com/walk_ins.html

 

The Luckiest of Days: Friday the 13th

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Sacred Day: Friday April 13, 2018 at 13:13:13 GMT

History

The patriarch authority in the form of Christian monks demonized all Goddess worship in order to suppress and replace pagan rituals.

Friday or the Goddess Freya was called unlucky by the Christian authority because it was a day of the sacred female divinity. Friday the 13th was made to be unlucky because it was associated with the 13th month of the year in the Menstrual Calendar. [1]

In many religions Friday was (is) considered the 7th day of the week and is the most sacred day.

Fish was eaten on Fridays as a fertility right, which was later absorbed into a Christian ritual. [1]

The Church in Europe used the Julian calendar. Peasants used the Menstrual or Goddess-Given calendar. The Lunar calendar was 13 months of 28 days each, each week being 7 days. (13×28=364 plus 1) – was the Menstrual Calendar that conformed to the cycles or phases of the moon namely:

  • New
  • Waxing
  • Full
  • Waning

The Moon cycles correspond with a woman’s menstrual cycle thus the Menstrual Calendar. [2]

Chinese women established a lunar calendar about 3,000 years ago dividing the stellar sky into 28 “mansions” that the moon transversed. The Great Mayan calendar had first been based on “her menstrual cycles”. The word “mensis” is Latin for month, Greek, Middle English and High German – moon. [2]

No one knows – as in a documented sense where this suppression and demonization of woman / the Goddess arises. Astrologer Jeffery Wolf Green writes about the end of the matriarchy and beginnings of the patriarchy in his astrology books. The male rebellion against the Goddess appeared to contain the seeds of the hatred and repudiation of the feminine within a patriarchal dominated culture.

Green states (am I am summarizing and paraphrasing) that women believed that spirit – the divine worked through men to delivery the seed for children to come into the womb of women. Men were superfluous vessels for the seed to be carried. The seed or sperm did not originate with men it originated in the divine feminine and men were hollow vessels in service to the Goddess. The matriarchy raised children in a group setting, there was no family with a man as the leader. All property was held communally. There was no need for weapons of war, no armies, no defense against invaders because everyone lived this way for a few thousand years. [3]

Green states that men became increasingly angry over time and began to over throw female leadership in a violent acting-out manner of raping, pillaging and murder on a massive scale. [3]

What evolved out of that was the family. The man was the leader and the owner of woman and children. I would be remiss if I didn’t write about the legacy of anger that each man holds over women, other men and children as well as dominion over “the earth”.

Some men continue to act-out this anger in the context of the patriarchal system without any self-awareness. Other men have or are continuing to struggle to examine the legacy of anger and the anger within themselves to find a cause for it and work on resolving it responsibly as it arises.

Until more men can and do step forward individually and as a group to own the accountability and responsibility for crimes against the other outside their gender then the legacy of anger will continue. This hard-wiring of anger is oppositional to all the principles of the matriarchy and the divine-feminine.

  • The matriarchy held all life as sacred with horizontal leadership
  • The matriarchy held all property communally.
  • The matriarchy treats property with equal rights and equal access.
  • The matriarchy held earth as a sacred being of the divine

 

  • The patriarchy holds the yang principle as supreme with hierarchical leadership.
  • The patriarchy holds only the elite or upper class as property owners.
  • The patriarchy is entitled to subjugate and enslave lower classes as property
  • The patriarchy in its rebellion against the matriarchy treats earth as an object to be used and consumed in a hierarchical matrix

 

 

Friday 4/13/18 at 13:13:13 Universal Time (1:13 pm GMT London, England)

The Divine Feminine Numbers:

Friday as the 7th day of the week represents constant rapid change

Four represent a foundation to be built upon

13 – the 13 months of the lunar year or menstrual calendar

2018 – 2 + 0 + 1 + 8 = 11

11 is Justice and/or a master number for building the new.

 

The Tarot Numbers:

 

month – 4

date – 13

hour (in military time) – 13

minutes – 13

seconds – 13

last two digits of the year – 18

equals – 74

add – (20 – the beginning two numbers of 2018) 2 + 0 + 7+ 4

equals – 13

add 1 + 3 = 4

 

Major Arcana:

13 is Death or Transformation (the Divine Feminine Principle)

4 is The Emperor – a principle of growth through a foundation of conflict seeking resolution

 

 

Astrology:

[All degrees in the chart (see illustration) are rounded up one degree if the number – not in bold is 1 minute or greater.]

13-13

Patriarchal Authority is highlighted and exhaled in authoritarianism. It is poised for a yang-based transformation triggered by a revolution of self. Patriarchal authority continues to go through a cycles of death and rebirth and this same authority is transforming the divine feminine. Goddess energies are making spiritual and emotional connections to the world community. Goddess energies are most likely to reveal an abundance of secrets set to transform the world of authority aka the patriarch. Communications and thinking are likely to be intense and in conflict seeking resolution with authority.

1. The Woman’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets,  Barbara Walker “Friday” pg 325-326

2. The Woman’s Encyclopedia of Myths and Secrets,  Barbara Walker “Menstrual Calendar” pg 645-648

3. Pluto: The Evolutionary Journey of the Soul, Volume 1, Jeffery Wolf Green

Difficult Times – it’s not what you think.

1bgearth grids11bg

Uranus on the left and right in infrared & Earth in an EM field

 Or

The Patriarchy has Ended.            An Introduction to Higher Consciousness – Part Two

If you’re a progressive there’s a tendency to be pulled into the fray of bashing Trump. Its easy to succumb to the frustrations that the actions of Trump and the GOP / Conservatives elicit in us. When we engage in bashing we may feel better, vindicated, surrounded by others that believe as we do – as in a club of like-mindedness.

Before continuing context is important:

  • Climate Change / Global Warming / Extreme Weather
  • Dwindling natural resources
  • Explosive Advances in Technology
  • Eroding or disappearing democracy
  • Increased diseases including auto-immune diseases
  • Over-population
  • Sensory, intellectual, emotional and spiritual overwhelm
  • Income Inequality

Back to Trump and the social-political zeitgeist. On a deeper level we know that Trump really isn’t the problem at all. He’s a symptom and a very odious and obvious symptom like a giant pus-filled pimple on the tip of the nose. He’s the pimple that represents a face full of acne – the GOP, corporate greed, a nostalgic look at America before the income tax or fill-in “the blank”.

The problem has been stated in many ways much more succinctly as I am about to expound. The problem is deeper because many people in power in both political parties have ignored the needs of the people in favor of corporate donors to their campaigns.

Trump, the GOP and or lives within this perilous time represent a gestalt that is deeper and more insidious than we may have imagined. Some have chosen not to engage in Trump bashing and this is good because it is a sign of restraint based on rational thought. When we engage in Trump bashing daily we are engaging in three or more processes that are not immediately evident:

  1. We fall into the “Pit of Trump” – keeping negative attention on him is attention. He revels in any kind of attention. Negative attention can be useful in that it clearly defines:
  • A potential enemy or adversary
  • Puts people on the defensive
  • Raises the bar for irrational acts
  • Raises the bar for anger going to acting-out rage manifesting as violence
  • Justifies actions taken against protestors, suppressing voters’ rights, etc.
  • Possibly foments violence
  1. Trump represents the shadow in each of us. As he pokes at us especially those of us that bash him daily he fosters our shadow to come out in-reaction to his stuff. He becomes successful in dragging us down to his level where the bashing is all there is. In other words bashing is not followed by actions such as direct actions, organizing with others and so on. We get stuck in reacting, bashing – rinse, repeat and think of this as protest. Many of us, myself included don’t move out of the acting-out rage and name-calling -its overwhelming.

3. The patriarchy has ended energetically but socially and politically it persists. The  natural part of the process of ending of an epoch is upon us in the form represented by the caricature we have come to know as Trump. He represents a black hole of endless addictive fears of not being enough and allows us to air the “dirty laundry” of our shadow to the each other and the world. By remaining in the world of just bashing, signing a petition or two without a monetary contribution is an indulgence of shadow where the light never shines. It’s easy to fall into this place.

 

An example:

Slight changes in my job began to put me in a cycle of stress and decreasing sleep – 4 to 5 hours of sleep a night for over ten months. So I retired so I could recover and begin to work on my private practice. It took seven and a half months (until mid September 2017) to stabilize my sleep patterns and regain some health.

Then a good friend died of cancer at the end of September 2017. Two weeks later I had to evacuate due to the Northern California / Sonoma County fires. I was thrown back into shock, anxiety and disrupted sleep. Midway through the fires I got a phone message from the niece of a friend who moved back to Canada at the turn of the century who I hadn’t heard from. Because she didn’t answer her phone and then her phone was disconnected I wrote her a letter. We had been lovers and then friends for 29 years. When I got in-touch with Wendy’s niece she told me that Wendy had died of cancer in May 2017. She didn’t want anyone to know that she had had cancer. Her niece found out that she was dying by accident.

My house survived unscathed by the fires. I feel so grateful.

A man seeking revenge on another man in an adjacent town also shot my old boss. That was December 2017. He is recovering slowly in an ICU – slowly moving out of critical condition. Then another good friend in the beginning of February 2018 is now in hospice care due to a terminal lung disease. (April update – still under hospice care and improving somewhat)

I thought I had grieved, but I haven’t completed this process. Unconsciously I had been carrying around huge amounts of anger and dumping it on certain safe others inappropriately in part approved by Trump.

 

The Big Cycle

We are in the end times of the patriarch and the beginning times of the partnership. Cycles of five to ten thousand years do not end abruptly. There are no lines in space demarcating constellations from one another.

Think of the end and beginning times as analogous to a traffic light in slow motion denoting a longer time period.

The Green Light FLICKERS

  • The Green Light TURNS to YELLOW – CAUTION
  • The Yellow Light stays in – CAUTION: emotions build negativity is often displayed due to increasing impatience.
  • The Yellow Light FLICKERS
  • The Yellow Light turns to RED impatience increases more negativity
  • The Red Light impatience can be released
  • The Red Light turns to Green – a new age comes into being

 

These larger cycles of times have been described in the Vedic texts and are known as Yugas. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yuga

Add the concept of “Soul Age” into the mix of these embroiled end times. There are a number of different resources on Soul Age from the Michael Teachings to Astrology (these can be googled).

  1. The baby to young souls are survival-based peoples with a fluid moral compass. They tend to be opportunistic and self-centered. They are very driven to success and look at everything in win-lose frameworks.
  1. Middle souls live in a social context. Emotional drama may be part of their experience. They are searching for inner meaning. They are attached to emotional intensity, prosperity. While being empathic they interpret the feelings of others as they interpret their own.
  1. Older Souls have a wider perspective. They have a profound respect and acceptance of others- emotionally, intellectually and spiritual. They are working on letting go of their attachments.

The Younger Souls seems to have less choice while middle souls more choice and old souls the most choice. Younger souls push choice to the limit. Middle souls exercise choice within a social context. Old souls choose love.

 

Back to the Yugas for a Moment:

The Satya Yuga is divided into an ascending and descending arc of almost 10,000 years, though I have other sources that show it to be longer (Toltec) it was and will be a Spiritual Age where humankind in all soul ages will be able to form complete thoughtforms (http://theyugas.com/about-the-yugas/overview/overview/ see diagram after scrolling to bottom of the page of the link). The Satya (ascending and descending) are at the top of the diagram and the Kali Yugas are at the bottom. Kali is the Goddess of destruction and the Kali Yugas are the material epoch where society is in disarray. We are the cusp of the ascending Dwapara Yuga or Energy Age. But since this is the Yellow Light period in our traffic light metaphor we need to exercise caution in this in-between place. Within the structures of the Kali Yuga there is a direct cause and effect action in the world. In the Dwapara Yuga or Energy Age there is thought first then energy into action. The Treta Yuga or Mental Age – thoughtforms come into being once again.

A thoughtform is an original thought cleansed of base desires and negative emotions that is able to form a pattern with the electromagnetic field of the body that can manifest in its entirety. As humans in our current state of development; we are not able to create original thought nor are we able to craft a thoughtform on a conscious level. Many unconscious thoughtforms keep us stuck in war and violence worldwide. (For a more detailed look at the subject of thoughtforms see – https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2016/10/02/an-intuitive-look-at-thoughtforms/ )

Humans at the current level of development are not responsible for their thoughtforms. Unconscious and uncompleted thoughtforms seek out those of a lower vibration and manifest. Meaning that if we think harmful negative thoughts towards another – that are recycled from the gestalt of our world that thought will manifest willy-nilly in a lower vibration younger or middle soul and get acted out. It will probably not manifest in the person we are angry or bear ill-will towards because their vibration may not be low enough or due to the randomness of unconscious recycled though will likely go towards groups that already experience violence or where there is a war.

Humans are not advanced enough to create conscious original thoughtforms and so must enact laws to attempt a similar safeguard. In the Satya Age religion is not needed, anti-discrimination laws and laws against violence are no longer necessary because love exists in the hearts and minds of the individuals.

Higher Consciousness and Love are one. Love is just as light is. Photons of light are everywhere and in every being. Higher Consciousness includes everything including the darkness. Higher Consciousness is Knowing and Knowing is Accepting. Love accepts and allows knowing to be all.

Our vibration is not high enough to create an original thought and craft it into a thoughtform. That does not mean that we cannot work on ourselves to utilize the love in us to melt our own negativity and practice good thoughts towards others while using love to dissolve negative thinking towards ourselves and others.

Returning to the issues with Trump and the anger he evokes in me, the triggered anger about the multiple losses (deaths and death processes) I’ve experienced over the last six months and other triggered wounds from childhood – I’ve begun work on these issues in a different way.

I find it’s easy for me to go to outrage and sadness over the injustices that Trump, his administration and the GOP are foisting upon us. And I don’t want to stay wound-up inside the injustices he is dishing out by voicing outrage about it without taking positive action. For me it’s important to respond to Trump (on Facebook, or another public venue) with outrage in writing unless someone else has already written it. Then call or email my representative in the house and my two senators. Or write to the California Attorney General; call the ACLU or other agency. Budget monthly contributions to worthy causes, or a singular contribution to a candidate in favor of a progressive agenda and/or resisting the Trump agenda. Send faxes in campaigns resisting ludicrous bills before congress.

Reacting repeatedly in anger at Trump allows me to descend to the lower vibration that Trump lives and feed his agenda, keeps me tense, restricted and in fight mode – the tiredness sets in and I don’t want to do the actions that I have pledged in the above paragraph.

So I set myself to:

  • Briefly express anger at Trump et al.
  • Make phone calls, send faxes and /or emails to MoC (Members of Congress)
  • Donate to causes and candidates
  • Relax and envision a present spreading out into the future that is one of peace and justice for all (peoples – all biological beings, Earth, all so-called non-biological beings).
  • Make the love I recognize within available to those that want and/or need it (through quantum entanglement).

 

How will you be in these difficult times? What will you do to make it better?

———————————————————————————————————–

A final note: Jeffery Wolf Green, astrologer has a school in Evolutionary Astrology. He speaks about the change agents based on the nodes of Uranus. (Uranus is the trickster planet or revolution and evolution). People born between 1936 and now have the nodes of Uranus in the same place as those alive ( in reincarnation) during the change from the matriarchy to the patriarchy. Therefore we are The Change Agents between epochs. ?

 

Overcoming Advertising

time

Or

Underlying –Whims, Goals and Aims ———–An Introduction to Higher Consciousness Part One

Since we have egos we are awash in a sea of whims (sounds like little mythic creatures, doesn’t it?). Whims are the driving force behind advertising, capitalism, money and inequality. There are no escaping whims. The only hope is recognizing whims as they arise and being at choice.

Whims then are much like the pursuit of happiness.

Whims arise from curiosity and can come from a creative urge within us. The arising of whims within us may not come from ego but when we pursue a whim then trouble may ensue because ego is most often the pursuant. Whims then are much like the pursuit of happiness or just the pursuit of most anything.

The formula of ego, whims, most monetary systems and inequality is a finite formula in a zero sum game resulting in diminishing returns.

When we engage in pursuit we assume a lack within. We separate ourselves from our innate happiness or our curiosity in order to find it. This seems counter intuitive. This is the way of ego and a linear space-time reality. Our language and ego – intertwined reflects a separation of the self from a desire for something. Ego, whims, capitalism and money produces gaps between a beginning coming from nothing – initiating a step,  a middle – an action and an end achieving something. The formula of ego, whims, most monetary systems and inequality is a finite formula in a zero sum game resulting in diminishing returns. [In mathematical theory a zero-sum game is always competitive and results in winners and losers – see https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zero-sum_game] This kind of finite system is a breeding ground for greed, possessiveness, fear / paranoia, oppression, isolationism and ultimately an apocalyptic ending of humanity.

leads to the ultimate ending – the apocalypse.

The a priori supposition of this finite zero-sum game base does not allow for the sacredness of being. All the finite players become obsessed with having more and as a result of the diminishing return emotions based on an infinite non-zero sum game such as love, empathy, compassion are removed so the focus on more grows more intense. Addictive behaviors to satisfy the charge in winning ultimately fail due to diminishing returns. The people driven by this model cease to recognize being, treat others and themselves as things including the bounty of Earth and Earth as being. Using people and resources in this manner leads to the ultimate ending – the apocalypse.

On the other end of the spectrum aims arise from the infinite and are couched in systems of cooperation and interdependence.

An infinite non-zero sum game is about the win/win and is based on interdependence with regard to increasingly complex societal systems. Survival of the human species on Earth is an infinite non-zero sum game because humans and all biological and non-biological beings are sacred and must cooperate in order to survive. Put in another way this is a system of Love connecting and including all beings in a sacred manner.

Returning to whims in the context of capitalism we can see that the variety of instruments of this money making system are in the business of generating conditions for whims to foment in buying frenzies. Advertising under psychographics or strategies to target consumers based on data mining for lifestyle, personality, attitudes, beliefs etc.

Aims belong to the infinite.

On the other end of the spectrum aims arise from the infinite and are couched in systems of cooperation and interdependence. An aim has no beginning and no end. Aims belong to the infinite. An aim that continually renews me and helps align me to the path of the divine that flows within me is: to relieve suffering. I could work towards this aim for the rest of my life and never be finished.

Being is that which is. Being transcends space and time.

Aims arise from being. What is being? Philosophers and mystics have grappled with defining and/or describing being. Being is that which is. Being transcends space and time. Words, because they arise from a linear time-space reality systems cannot describe the depth, breath and the divinity of being. Once we attempt to solve a mystery we bring it out of the realm of the unknowable and destroy its essence. Being is analogous to mystery.

surrendering into the divine

Discovering being is about surrendering into the divine, releasing ego if only for a moment and embracing a wider higher consciousness. There are no pat formulas or teachings that can assist the student in discovering being.

Goals are the bridges between aims and whims. Goals have beginnings, middles and ends. They can arise from the infinite or the finite. Aims can be expressed in goals, but goals cannot be adequately expressed in aims. Whims tickle the edges of goals.

Part of the problem with whims and advertising is the appeal to the ego in a finite mindset. A well-developed being sees advertising as a finite whim based game. Being can assist us in noticing whim as a momentary desire of ego for a temporary drug-high of fleeting happiness and remind ego of the lasting happiness within.

The real work of letting go of attachment to the temporary or fleeting desires of ego begins. Oppositional thinking and action with regard to advertising produced whims can help us resist corporations that use psychographics to sell stuff to us. For instance if you see an ad on the internet that sparks your interest in the moment – ignore it. Most likely we forget about the spark. Advertising repeats the tease in an effort to get you to click on the link. Again, ignore it and wait. Does the tease persist?

If the tease persists ask yourself:

  • How does following this whim support my aim? If it does not leave it behind – release the attachment.
  • Is the whim a distraction that detracts from my long-term or immediate purpose? If so, release it.
  • Where does the whim exist on my list of priorities? Low, middle or high? If its high, use a pen or pencil to write it down. Don’t pursue it immediately. Decide on a time to look or investigate the product, service or experience. If its middle or low let it go and move on.

 

If you don’t know what your purpose is then meditation could assist you in uncovering it within yourself and this takes time. If meditation is not your thing, explore a book, schedule a session with an astrologer, a metaphysical advisor or a shaman to assist you in finding your purpose. Or if that’s not appealing look into your past, your childhood and see what inspired you as a child, as an adolescent etc.

If you know your purpose you can choose to surrender to it or allow other interests to direct you. Or let whim tickle you down the road. Whim could be wasting your time, but maybe you will decide that’s okay.

discovering my purpose and surrendering into it.

Just know that when you impulsively click on some thing or other the data miners come along and start developing a profile on you to sell you stuff. Most browsers collect data – Chrome being notorious for it. Apple announced it would not be data mining on its last major re-boot of its Safari browser.

I’m not anywhere close to an expert on this subject. Check out Wired Magazine for more info on this subject and possible Mozilla Foundation whose makes the Firefox browser.

When I was younger I was on fire to find “the Truth” and this evolved into finding “my truth” which lead to discovering my purpose and surrendering into it. I worked hard and surrendered into spaces of grace where I was blessed by the divine.

When people write about the divine or God or the Creator they separate this force or urge from themselves. My experience of the divine is a force that transcends ego and yet is inseparable from me, from my being. But as soon as I try to claim it – the “I”   – my ego destroys that lightness of being that connects me from the higher expression of myself.


My most favorite non-fiction book of all time – about creativity, play and boundless possibilities transcending small minded greediness is James Carse’s Finite and Infinite Games.

Here in PDF:

http://wtf.tw/ref/carse.pdf

breaking the Rules

Every family makes rules. Some of these rules are well stated, some are not and both represent good values and living for the most part.

Plate

For as many stated rules and values there are many more meta-rules (unspoken rules) that often contradict each other and are passed on generationally. Some of the inter-generational rules may blend with regional rules.

be invisible

When I was 21 years old my Aunt passed away. She was in her 40s. I went to my bedroom in my childhood home and cried for twenty minutes. When I emerged to be with my stone-faced parents watching television they treated me like a weirdo (all unspoken).

For more on the New England mindset: https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/2017/03/07/exploring-perception-a-new-england-mindset/

In 1990 I changed part of my name to rid myself of a suffix – junior. I had considered the change for ten years but had decided against it because I knew my father’s feeling would be hurt and discounted my feelings. When I put myself in the equation I broke a big rule.

My father’s influence in my life was both positive and negative mixed together. Sometimes it was possible to disconnect one from the other and sometimes not. In retrospect I see how my fears of punishment from my father were transferred onto the authority of the county courts and to a lesser degree the DMV.

It was my own fear of my father’s (wrath) authority

In November of 2017 I broke another family meta-rule, which states roughly: work hard, don’t draw attention to your self and be invisible in the world at large. I ordered a “specialty license plate” or more commonly known as a vanity plate – the 1960 Legacy plate with dark brown background and yellow lettering. It took nearly ten months to decide to order one. Feelings began to arise that I was doing something wrong, that I would be punished for drawing attention to myself.

It was my own fear of my father’s (wrath) authority – even though he passed on my 55th birthday in 2006 that helped create the following events:

On the DMV website they wrote that it would be a maximum of 12 weeks before a Vanity plate could be in my possession. When those 12 weeks passed I called the DMV and found it was a 3 to 4 month wait.

I received a notice that the plate had arrived at the designated DMV office so I made an appointment on-line. A few days later I received a summons to jury duty. Jury duty fell in the same week as my appointment. Would I have to reschedule my DMV appointment, would there be enough time? The info I received from the DMV indicated that I would have to pick-up my plate within 30 days or I would not get it. A good friend reminded me that I was complaining and that I could stand in line like everybody else.

I regressed into a super anxious sixteen year old rebelling…

I had to inform my clients with appointments for the week of March 12th through the 16th that I had to be on-call for jury duty. Except for one emergency appointment all other appointments were cancelled or re-scheduled.

I was directed to call the info line each evening after 5 pm to find out whether I would be called in for jury duty on the following day. I called Sunday evening for Monday – no jury duty. I called Monday evening for Tuesday – no jury duty. I spoke to a person Tuesday afternoon who said that my number was high and it was likely I wouldn’t be called – so I would be off the hook by Thursday evening. I called Tuesday evening for Wednesday – no jury duty.

…I became my father and went into authority – lording it over another.

Wednesday I kept my DMV appointment and I did stand in-line until I saw a sign that read: “appointments this line only” and went into a different line – a shorter line – got a number – waited more and was able to finish my DMV business in an hour and get my plates.

I had lessons to be learned. I learned them the hard way.

I called Wednesday evening for Thursday. – no jury duty. I called Thursday evening for Friday – and was told to call back on Friday between 11:15 am and noon for “reporting instructions”. I felt my chain was being yanked at that point. I called Friday during the appointed time – and I was finally freed from jury duty. It wasn’t just the waiting it was the anxiety of dealing with two government agencies (authority figures aka my arbitrary father) that triggered crazy emotions in me. I regressed into a super anxious sixteen year old rebelling against authority and not winning. I feel sad for that sixteen year-old kid.

Being visible is a strange feeling

It didn’t stop there. The following week I became my father and went into authority – lording it over another. That incident ended in tragedy to which I bear my part in the interaction. And I had brought it on myself. I had lessons to be learned. I learned them the hard way.

As a automobile driver I am fairly responsible, either driving responsibly or going with the flow. Its difficult and dangerous being around drivers who are behaving irresponsibly with their cars and I usually move into a defensive posture with high awareness. Driving with the new plate I picked up on others judgments and also emotions of curiosity too. I checked myself for becoming arrogant while driving because I was “entitled” with my vanity plate and let go. Being visible is a strange feeling.

I am still working with my emotions around being visible with the new plate. It’s a process

A Daily Plan

  1. images
  2. The Flush: a ten to fifteen minute rant on Trump, make it funny if possible
  3. Data: gather data on FLIPPING CONGRESS AND THE NATION, PLUS legislation to support or oppose.
  4. BREATHE
  5. ACTION PART ONE: look at legislation to oppose and / or support make 3 phone calls and send emails – 1 member of House of Reps and 2 Senators preferably in your state to start.
  6. BREATHE
  7. ACTION PART TWO: look at budget and who and how much to contribute to candidates (progressive and/or Dems guys*) opposed to GOP agenda and contribute
  8. BREATHE
  9. ACTION PART THREE: make report on social media

BREATHE!

* guys – womens, mens, androgynous-es, transgenders, gays, lesbians, genderqueers, asexuals and everybody else.

PS This is not about real soup you eat or slurp. This is about the soup we’re in. Hope that clears things up. Tuff if it doesn’t.

Nine Life Shaping Events and…

earth grids1loveflameEternity-copy2

One:

My early life as a child and later as a teenager was punctuated by extraordinary events that helped shape all subsequent experiences.

Before I attended kindergarten I was eager to learn spelling, which included writing out my name. In the mid 1950s my parents did not send me to nursery school. Between birth and five years old my parents and younger sister and I lived in a second floor apartment that had once been part of an attic in one big house.

At age four I was lying in bed one night watching the floaters in the film of my eyes dart across the night-light lit ceiling of my bedroom. I believed the floaters were stars and I was trying to catch one of them. As soon as I thought I had one it would dart away. It was a futile activity and I don’t know how long I spent doing it. Perhaps I was awakening.

I asked Jesus to protect me. Then I felt Jesus put the heel of his hand near my groin while his fingertips just reached my throat. Even though my body was small, Jesus’s hand must have been extraordinarily big. And I felt safe, grateful and joyous. I saw a piece of glass on the floor.

I took the piece of glass and I carved Jesus’s name in the top drawer of my bureau. The “J” was backwards and the writing was wonky. I threw the piece of glass in the wastebasket and went back to sleep.

In the morning I thought it had all been a dream until I saw Jesus’s name carved in the top drawer of my bureau. I knew that I was going to be in trouble with my parents for defacing the furniture. They said nothing and seemed to pretend that it didn’t exist.

Years later through flashbacks I uncovered a memory of sexual abuse that my father had perpetrated and my mother had covered up. It put the Jesus memory in a context that made sense. I chose to remember my contiguous memory of Jesus’s protection even though I had acknowledged the abuse and its cover-up.

 

Two:

At eleven or twelve years of age my mother drove us to the mall in the adjacent town. “How do these cars not hit each other?” I was wondering in my mind. They are in this dance of cooperation. The dance was fascinating especially when I extrapolated this dance around the world.

Three:

At age twelve I had been wandering in the library and found two books. One book reflected my depressive self and the other my expansive self. The first book reflecting the depressive in me was “Notes from Underground” by Dostoyevsky. The second book – “The Future of Man” by Teilhard de Chardin reflected my expansive higher consciousness self. That evening I asked to talk with my father about not using fear to shape his children.

Four:

In the summer of 1967 at age fifteen while I was on vacation with my family on Cape Cod I hiked up the beach from Eastham by Nauset Light to Truro about twelve miles – north of the Marconi Station. I had a heart-based experience that love untied the world. It filled ne with bliss and ecstasy. Words pale. The experience was ineffable.

Five:

In the summer of 1968 at age sixteen while I was on vacation with my family on Cape Cod I went out onto the mudflats at low tide in Wellfleet. The sun was beginning to set. I leapt into the air and I felt “the world as one”. And in a vision I saw every being connected by beams of light, one heart to another. From space the entire planet was consumed by light.

 

Six:

In 1984 I was in a leadership-training course. I was 32 years old. Our group was team building on a Ropes Course near Woodland, California. One of our teammates was up in the trees preparing to jump onto a wobbly platform, supported in a safety harness by two burly fellows on the ground and two support people in the trees. Our support consisted of us yelling like rabid cheerleaders at her. It made no sense to me so I projected the supportiveness of my heart energy into the trees and towards her.

Something happened that I hadn’t expected.

I saw light coursing through the trunks and branches of the trees. Looking at the light streaming so quickly through the trees was intense.

I looked down. I looked at the ground and then at the bare skin on my left arm.

I saw inside my arm. Where blood was pumping through the arteries and veins I saw light pulsing.  Light from a near by leafy bush (the leaves were tender and sweet to look at) extended a cloudy plasmic field of light around my arm as if to comfort me.

At that time it was too intense for me to process it and I closed my eyes and prayed for normalcy.  When I opened by eyes moments later I saw what I had expected to see – all was normal and reassuring.

Seven:

The Calling – https://psychesweather.wordpress.com/the-calling/

 

Eight, Nine and more – explore this blog.

Its all backwards or

spacewave1Expressions of Consciousness- the tiny aka human experience to the Greater…

Remembering that there is no window

What is the purpose of the human experience?

Where is the meaning?

On February 1, 1973 I attempted suicide, my stomach was pumped and I was in a coma for 3 and a half days. A priest was called to perform last rites. Apparently I woke from the coma and told the priest “Go fuck yourself.” I went back into the coma for another day and a half. I didn’t remember what I had said to the priest. My girlfriend told me. I woke from the coma around 3 pm on February 4th it was a Sunday, though I barely registered it.

Seventeen years later the calendar and the dates of the 1973 experience were synchronized, On Monday February 5th just before going to sleep I asked:

God, what am I suppose to do with my life?

 In the morning I woke and there had been no dream that answered my question. It was a question I did not expect an answer. Lying in bed and feeling groggy I had a strange experience:

A presence entered through my groin and curled up into a ball in my abdomen. A name came to me. It was someone I had met..

I didn’t expect to find the woman’s name in the phone book. If her name hadn’t been there I’d be off-the hook. It was there. I called her, apologized and reported the crazy experience I had had.

She reported that she had been curled up into the fetal position and had been thinking about killing herself. I made a verbal contract with her and an agreement to talk a couple of days from that Tuesday morning 2/6/90.

Two days later she related what had happened to her over the holidays and when I offered her the names of therapists to see she said:

The universe put you out there to hear my call and that all I needed.

Surrendering to the experience opened by inner world to “seeing” which had always been there and letting me facilitate healing for others.

It took me many years to connect the two experiences together and parse the meaning. The most obvious was erasing the karma of attempting to annihilate myself. And there was something else there. It was as if it had been written and I was being allowed a glimpse into a larger pattern of my life.

 

Many years later between 2000 and 2001 I had a television but it was not connected to broadcast TV or cable. So when the planes hit the World Trade Center on 9/11 thankfully I didn’t see these images until many years later. In November I was visiting a friend who had a Quantum Xeroid Machine. She asked me if I wanted to “do past lives”?

“Sure,” I said.

I expected that I might experience “a past life”.

She pressed a button and I “flew over ten thousand past lives I had had on Planet Earth”. I joined a partner being and was with 11 other partnered beings watch the physical Planet Earth form and anchoring “free will” to the planet. I was part of a being that was and is the spiritual guardian of Earth and all her beings. I traveled “further back” and was an alien on a rogue planet with its own light/heat source. I experimented in going all the way forward in my life and wound up at the beginning.

Then. I heard my friend repeating a word. After a long time I realized the word was my name in the current reality.

When I walked home it was night and foggy. I felt as if my ego had been stripped down and was inconsequential. That Americans were inconsequential, and that humans were also inconsequential. Consciousness is the only being that endures survives and evolves all the rest is superfluous.

The next day my ego returned and was full of myself as usual.

~

Our experience is backwards. We identify with this puny existence of our current lifetime. We don’t experience or remember that we are One-Unified-Consciousness experiencing a variety of lifetimes each has the potential to raise our consciousness allow us to evolve to increasingly higher levels until it is no longer necessary to return to the Earth Plain.

Of course there are the Bodhisattvas* such as the Dali Lama that chooses to return remembering previous lifetimes, serving as an example to assist us to remember that we are a Consciousness that transcends ego.

Our purpose here is to let go of the illusion of suffering and transmute the energy of pain and anguish into light, which is Love.

Our lives are analogous to looking out of a window of a building. As humans we have parameters. The building and the window are like the parameters of a human life. The window and the building define who and where we are. When we pass and shed the skin of the human body the building and the window have no meaning and fall away. They disappear.

 

The First Incarnation

We separate ourselves from our self and forget or repress our larger self. We strip away the largess of our Great Consciousness and become an individual who then incarnates within a family or a unit on Planet Earth.

Here there is more forgetting of what went before. We are experiencing life and sensuality for the hedonism of life for the first time. Addiction becomes rampant. The choices seem narrow and we push put against them greedy for more.

This is characteristic of a young soul or lightbody inhabiting a corporeal form – a physical body.

 

Subsequent Incarnations

As the lightbody matures the individual begins to care as much about themselves as they do for others. Choice is more varied. Addiction and attachment abound. They are only beginning to catch glimpses of the divinity of self.

Old souls or the eldest of lightbodies often reach enlightenment. This is a seeing beyond the current lifetime. There are many choices yet these beings choose love. They are able to see addition and attachment and they work to release. They work tirelessly to release and transmute suffering into light and love.

Many of these old souls never return to a human corporeal existence having completed coating their light being and completed their soul work ready to return to the next stage in an evolving Higher Consciousness. Or as stated earlier they return as Bodhisattvas* to help others reach a higher evolutionary path.

 

 

* Bodhisattva (in Mahayana Buddhism) a person who is able to reach nirvana but delays doing so out of compassion in order to save suffering beings.

 

Perfume Assault

A salesperson came to my door asking for me by name, so I didn’t know they were selling something until I opened the door.

It was a cheaper gas bill.

I was assaulted by perfume as I stepped outside. It was nauseating. She asked to see my bill. I said I’m paperless by the internet, then how about by phone or tablet

I asked for literature. She gave me the website. All they had was an iPad and saying I could have a flat rate for my gas of $5.99.

I wanted her to take a few steps away from me but I didn’t say anything but thought I could just get some info and get clear of her quickly.  I should have said something.

I went back inside nauseous and dizzy and didn’t have the where with all to connect it to the perfume for about a minute.

 

It was her

PERFUME STILL ASSAULTING MY SENSES — AH!

 

And still not completely recovered and it was an hour and a half ago.

I went to the website to register a complaint about her perfume, but no way to contact them except to call an 800 number about plans.

NO THANKS.

 

NOTE: Some people are just completely unaware of the effect they have on others and splash way too much cologne or perfume on thinking that this makes him or her more attractive when its the opposite and offensive. And in my case this time impactful on my health.

My Father’s Gift Validated

my Dad

Dad-good

When I was a kid I was left to do what I wanted.

We lived just outside of suburbia, about a half a mile away. Across the street was a farm, surrounded by apple orchards. Next door to the right of us or west was a Truck Farm, about 300 acres of woods behind us and one house with a barn to the left / east of us on 3 acres of land. Across Route 70 was Reservoir Road, more apple orchards – mostly Macintosh and Delicious and the Reservoir. I didn’t care for Delicious Apples, I did and do love Macintosh Apples.

300 acres of woods behind us

So there was a lot of space to ‘splore.

After school I couldn’t wait to get outside, the winter slowed that down some. It was cold, icy, snowy and wet. But there was sledding.

push Frankie into Little League

I had schoolwork and chores that I didn’t want to do, projects of shipping raked leaves to piles in the woods. My Father raked. My sister and I put the leaves in the wheelbarrow and I dumped them mostly in the woods.

My Mother dreamed of me becoming a doctor or a lawyer, but there was nothing behind it. I heard my mom arguing with my dad – more of a discussion:

“I think we should push Frankie into Little League,” my mom said (I cringed)

“Does he like playing baseball?”

“No.”

“Let him be,” Then I heard my dad say to my mom:

“Let him do what interests him. He’ll find his way.”

pick wild strawberries

I explored the woods, the reservoir, the apple orchards. The Big Rocks – multi-ton boulders that had been dropped by the receding ice from the last ice age, up at the corner by the school bus stop, in our backyard and deep in the woods. We knew just where to go in the spring time to pick wild strawberries and sometimes we would get the few that were there before the birds wiped them clean.

I had fun and expressed a raucous creativity within me

In my teen years I used the woods and nature as a balm against the depression and suicidal thoughts I was having. I made it through.

My father was a well-intentioned bonehead

Juxtaposed to the depression was an interest fostered by my mother and father somewhat – making short experimental films – at a time when my classmates were scathing with their comments of us. I had fun and expressed a raucous creativity within me.

My father was a well-intentioned bonehead with a temper and fists to match. The gift he gave me was supporting my interests rather than pressuring me into this or that.

This was his gift to me.

The validation of his gift comes in the form of a piece by Scientific American on a book: “The Case for The Self-Driven Child”

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-case-for-the-ldquo-self-driven-child-rdquo/